by L. G. Davis
My stomach clenches while my lips curl into a smile that does not reach my eyes. “Nothing. He offered to help.”
“But you were laughing.” He drops his hand to his side. “What was that about?”
I frown. “I didn’t...I don’t remember laughing.”
“You did laugh,” he says and just like that, he walks out of the kitchen, leaving me confused.
The rest of the evening flies by. Jokes are shared, laughter is heard, the dessert is enjoyed, and finally they all leave and I breathe a sigh of relief. My relief is momentary. As soon as the front door is closed, Jared storms to his office and slams the door.
Things start to break.
It’s a good thing he always cleans up his own mess.
An hour later, he comes to bed and drapes an arm around me. He falls asleep before I do.
At midnight, my anxiety reaches its peak, and as usual, I sneak out of bed and go downstairs to clean the kitchen until my inner demons are silenced.
Chapter 2
“I’m going to the gym, honey,” I call out to Jared an hour after we’ve had a quiet dinner at our kitchen table.
He’s inside his office catching up on paperwork. He’s not angry today. The door is open. He only closes it whenever he’s fuming.
“Is it a good idea for you to work out on a full stomach?” He emerges from the office and meets me at the top of the stairs. He has a smile on his face.
“I didn’t eat much. I only had a small salad.”
I push myself to my tiptoes and kiss him. He tastes of the strawberries he ate for dessert. “I won’t be long.”
“Take your time. I have work to distract me.” He tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. “Have a good time. I wish you wouldn’t wear those leggings though. You know I don’t like you looking sexy when I’m not with you.” He twirls me around.
“Come on, Jared. I’m wearing leggings and a large t-shirt, and it’s a gym for women.”
Please don’t make me change clothes.
“Fine.” He sighs. “It’s getting dark. Come straight home when you’re done.”
“I will.” I turn to walk away, his gaze following me down the steps.
Jared always has to know where I am. The days he doesn’t reach me are the ones he locks himself in his office.
Downstairs, I’m about to wear my shoes when I glance out the window.
The sun is setting on the other side of the glass. The scene is so breathtaking that I instantly change my mind about going to the gym. I’ll go for a run along the lake instead.
I consider going back upstairs to tell Jared I’ve changed my mind, but I can hear his muffled voice from a distance. He must be on the phone. I wouldn’t want to disturb him.
Following my bliss, I abandon the gym bag and run out the door.
As I run along the pavement, the hairs at the back of my neck rise.
I throw a gaze at Victor and Rachel’s living room window in time to see the sheer curtains twitch.
Someone is always watching, especially in a small town like Sanlow. Everyone knows everyone’s business. It’s dangerous for a person with secrets.
I run faster, my feet hitting the ground hard until I reach the small path leading to the lake.
I run at least once a week because it keeps me sane. Getting my blood pumping and my lungs burning reminds me that I’m alive.
When I met Jared and fell deeply in love, I thought my chance at happiness had arrived. He made me feel special for the first time in my life. Marrying him was my chance to start over. I thought we would be happy forever.
We are happy, I tell myself every day, but he’s slowly starting to suffocate me. But I choose not to worry about that tonight, not when I have such beautiful nature to admire.
Lake Sanlow is one of the largest and most spectacular lakes in the US and it’s a stone’s throw from our home.
As soon as I reach the man-made beach, I come to a halt and inhale the fresh scent of freedom and wildflowers while listening to the sounds of buzzing insects.
I spend a few minutes gazing out at the sparkling water. Its hold on me is so strong that I get close to the edge where it licks the dry sand.
When the wind picks up and chills my skin, I wrap my arms around my body and continue to watch the sun lower beyond the horizon. With each breath, any tension in my body melts away.
I close my eyes and allow the breeze to caress my skin, brushing the hair from my face, calming me down, embracing me with all my flaws.
As air rushes into my lungs I stretch out my hands on both sides of me and pretend I’m flying.
After a while, I drop my arms again and start running toward my favorite spot, a place where a small river breaks away from the big lake and branches out on its own, framed by lush vegetation and wildflowers. It’s far, but the peace I find there is always worth it.
I make it to my little piece of heaven after a thirty-minute run, breathless but exhilarated. Sinking onto the slightly damp sand, I wrap my arms around my legs, drawing my knees to my chest.
The sound of the water trickling soothes my nerves. I stay until the night starts to thicken.
Ready to leave, I push myself back to my feet and turn to run back home. Jared has always warned me about going for a run when it’s dark outside.
I keep reminding him that Sanlow is a safe town with nice people, but he tells me that even the nicest people can turn dangerous in the blink of an eye.
When fire erupts in my lungs, I slow down to a walk, a smile on my face.
My smile wavers when a twig snaps and the sound of footsteps reaches my ears. I glance behind me to see a man emerging from the bushes, at least I think it’s a man given that he has a large build.
Nervous, I break into a run. Knowing I’m not alone at the lake feels like an invasion of my privacy, as if the lake belongs to me.
I don’t look behind me again until someone speaks.
“Kelsey? Kelsey, wait.” I recognize the voice immediately. I don’t need to look to know it’s Victor.
I keep running, pretending I didn’t hear him as panic wells up inside my throat.
Unfortunately, he’s fast. Not long after he calls my name, he catches up with me.
“Hey,” he says, breathless. “Didn’t you hear me? I was calling.”
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t...I didn’t hear you.” I don’t stop running.
I’m not interested in speaking to him. If I had remembered to bring my phone, I would have stuck earphones into my ears, pretending to listen to music.
Victor continues to run alongside me. If he makes me uncomfortable indoors, he certainly terrifies me outdoors. After the dinner three days ago, I’ve decided to make an effort in distancing myself from him.
“It’s nice to see you out here. We never get a chance to talk. Jared is always lurking around.”
My mind instantly takes me back to when I left the house and saw the curtain on Victor and Rachel’s living room window twitching. Was it him watching me? Did he follow me?
“Yeah,” I say simply. I don’t even glance at him. Best to keep going, focus on my destination. Home.
“I didn’t know you’re a jogger.” He coughs. “Now I know the secret to your great little body. You look stunning as always.”
“Victor,” I say between clenched teeth. “That’s not an appropriate thing to say about your best friend’s wife.”
“Like anyone else, I’m free to exercise my freedom of speech.”
Instead of responding, I pick up my pace.
“Since we’re both out here at the same time, maybe we can have a chat. I’ve always been curious about you. You intrigue me.”
As his words sink in, cold dread showers my back.
“I prefer to jog alone, Victor. In silence. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Ouch. I have to say you’re hurting my feelings. There’s no reason why you can’t jog and chat with me at the same time. I hear women are great at multitasking.”
�
�Look, I don’t have time. I need to get home to my husband. I’m sure he’s worried.” I kick myself inwardly for not bringing my phone. Jared won’t be happy.
“Hey, hey, don’t be like that.” He shoots out a hand and grabs my wrist, bringing me to a halt. I catch a whiff of booze detaching from his body to plug my nostrils. “Why are you always running from me?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I glance down at his fingers around my wrist and snatch my hand away. “What are you doing?”
“I just want to have a short conversation with you. Like I said, it’s not often that we have enough time to talk to each other alone.”
“I don’t know what we need to talk about. You should get back to your wife and I should go home to Jared.”
I run again, blood pounding in my ears.
At first, he doesn’t follow and I’m fooled into thinking he has given up, but his footsteps soon slam hard against the ground. It doesn’t take long for him to catch up.
“Can I be honest?” he asks. “Jared is my best friend, but sometimes I hate him for having you.” He clears his throat. He’s always clearing his throat as though something is constantly stuck inside. “I’m sure you know why. You’re hot as hell. Any guy would be jealous.”
“Leave me alone, Victor.” Sweat trickles into my eyes, making them sting. I hate that we’re still at an isolated part of the lake, surrounded by nothing but bushes.
“I don’t understand why you have to get home so fast.”
“I need to prepare dinner.”
“Don’t lie to me. You already had dinner. I saw you through the window. You cooked spaghetti tonight, didn’t you?”
If I wasn’t afraid before, I sure am now. I was right to be uncomfortable around him. He’s a creep. How long has he been watching me without my knowledge?
“It’s late. I have to go.” I run faster, as fast as my legs will allow, my muscles screaming for me to slow down, my knees threatening to give way. Over the sound of my thudding heart, small animals scamper through the nearby bushes, sensing the danger.
“I just have one question for you.” He draws nearer to me until I’m able to smell his sweat. “Your name is not really Kelsey, is it?”
His words hit me like a bunch of bricks. I screech to a halt. My body folds forward and my hands grip my knees. I need to be careful about how I respond.
“I don’t know what you mean.” I force the words through my tight throat. I try to move, but my feet refuse to obey. I’m rooted to the spot.
“It makes me feel better to know you’re not as perfect as Jared makes you out to be.”
“What are you’re talking about?” The intense desire to get away from him brings life back to my limbs and I push myself forward.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. That’s why you look so scared.” He comes closer. “What are you hiding, Kelsey? Everyone thinks you’re perfect, but you aren’t, are you?” He plants himself in front of me so I have no choice but to stop.
“What do you want from me?” I clench my hands at my sides.
“An incentive, that’s all. If you don’t want me to tell everyone. I could always bring it up at one of your little dinner parties.” He shakes his head. “Look, I just want to help you save your squeaky-clean reputation.”
He reaches out to touch my cheek. I slap his hand away. As though that’s all the permission he needs to put his hands on me, he grabs me by the shoulders and shoves me hard in the direction of the bushes.
“Don’t be stupid, Kelsey, or whatever your name is. As it stands, I hold your life in my hands. Give me what I want and I’ll allow you to continue living your perfect little lie. My price is low compared to what you’ll pay if I expose you.”
“Get out of my way.” The words come out of my mouth broken. I hate myself for showing him my weakness. He can sense my fear and it’s giving him power over me.
“You look so beautiful when you’re scared.” He chuckles and shoves me again, so hard that this time I lose my balance and land in the bushes.
I try to scramble to my feet again, but he falls over me, grabbing a handful of my hair.
Before I can recover from the pain of my hair being pulled from my scalp, the right side of my face comes into contact with the ground...hard.
Darkness takes over.
Chapter 3
When I regain consciousness, I find myself inside a nightmare.
I must have been out for a while because a lot has happened.
My leggings are off and Victor is on top of me, his weight pressing my body into the hard, rocky ground.
Shock shoots through me like an electric current.
He’s raping me, taking what he wants without my permission.
My shock is soon followed by panic and fear. I close my eyes again so he doesn’t see I’m awake.
Drunk with adrenaline and driven by the desire to fight, I don’t think twice before reaching out into the dirt to grab anything that can free me from the monster who calls himself my husband’s friend.
My fingertips come into contact with a rock big enough to fill my trembling hand and my fingers curl around it.
Before I can think twice, before fear can take over, I slam it hard into his temple.
First, he stiffens with surprise, then he falls forward. Air bursts from my lungs when his chest collides with mine.
“Get off me,” I murmur, my throat thick with tears. Before he can recover, I push him off and scramble to my feet.
My body instantly remembers the pain of my head striking the ground.
I sway a little, but I soon catch my balance and pick up my leggings from the ground.
I need to get away from him. I have to get home before he recovers.
Ignoring the sharp pain slicing its way through my brain, I get dressed. I don’t know why, but instead of dropping the rock on the ground, I throw it into the lake and run as fast as I can on shaky knees. I don’t look back to see if he’s coming after me until I reach the sandy beach.
My eyes search the darkness, but I don’t see him. I don’t hear him. I must have hit him hard enough to keep him on the ground for a while until I make it home.
As I stumble into the small path leading to Montlake Street, the physical pains in my body merge with the emotional kind, gathering into one big ball of fire in the pit of my belly, bringing on painful cramps that almost paralyze me.
The side of my face is starting to throb with pain that shoots into my right eye and almost blinds me, but the pain cannot be compared to that between my legs, the reminder of what happened to me.
I clutch my side until I reach Montlake Street. As hot, angry air bursts from my lungs, I’m grateful that the street is isolated. People are inside their homes with their families, safe and sound, unaware of the evils outside. I don’t want anyone to see me like this, broken and dirty. I hope nobody is watching without my knowledge.
As soon as I reach our house, I quietly let myself in, but I remain in the entrance hall for a minute or two listening for Jared. It’s hard to hear anything with blood pounding in my ears and my body buzzing with agony.
But my ears soon make out his distant voice. He must still be inside his office. My shoulders sink with relief.
I have a few minutes to clean myself up before he sees me. I can’t let him see me this way. I don’t even know how to tell him what happened.
Holding my breath, I hurry upstairs to the bathroom next to our bedroom and lock myself inside.
I stand in the middle of the bathroom, surrounded by all the beautiful things Jared has given me. The marble, the chandelier, the vintage vanity table, little and big luxuries. I no longer see their beauty. Everything is broken. Nothing will ever be the same again.
I’m not sure how long I stand frozen in one place, but eventually life returns to my limbs and I come back to my senses.
Sucking in a deep breath that scratches my lungs and throat, I shuffle to the shower. I get in fully clothed and a
llow the hot water to cascade over me. It’s only after I’m completely drenched that I peel off my clothes and allow them to pool at my feet. I stand naked under the hot water, my tears mixing with it.
When memories of Victor torture me, I turn up the temperature, wishing I could scald away the dirt and the shame. I wish I could peel off the skin that Victor touched.
I should go straight to the cops to report the rape. That’s what a normal person would do. But when you have secrets, cops are your worst enemies.
Victor was right. I’m not who everyone thinks I am. Now I don’t know how long it will be until my cover is blown, until someone else knows.
More tears come. I slide to the floor, giving myself the permission to break apart.
My hand moves to my swollen right cheek. My fingertips touch the tender skin. It hurts. Everything hurts like hell. But I need to pull myself together before Jared figures out I’m inside the house and comes looking for me.
Groaning with pain, I push myself to my feet again and scrub my body as best I can.
After scrubbing like a maniac until my skin is raw and red, I step out of the shower. Thick steam releases into the entire bathroom. It clouds every surface.
Forcing myself to remain calm, I put on a fluffy morning robe and approach the medicine cabinet, where I pull out the bottle of disinfectant and a Band-Aid kit.
I take my time treating the wound on my cheek, disinfecting it before covering it up, hiding it from the world. Despite the pain, the cut is not as bad as it feels. The worst pain cannot be seen.
When I’m done, I push back my shoulders and leave the bathroom, pretending I’m not a wreck inside.
I find Jared downstairs in the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water. When he sees me, he frowns.
“What happened?” he asks, his brows drawing together. “Are you hurt?”
I shake my head. “It’s nothing. I had a small accident at the gym.” The lie tastes bitter on my tongue.
“Should I take a look at it?” He takes a few steps toward me and puts his hands on my shoulders. “I didn’t even know you were home.”