by L. G. Davis
“Not good,” she says, her words drowning in tears.
“What...what happened?” The words rush out of my mouth.
“He left me,” she says softly. “Victor left me.”
“I know. I’m so sorry.” I don’t know what comes over me, but I’m suddenly tearful. Her husband is a monster, but her pain still touches me. Not knowing where he is must be devastating.
“No,” she says, her sharp tone slicing the air like a knife. “He actually did leave me...our marriage.”
“Oh,” I say. I don’t know what else to say. I need her to continue, but I don’t want to seem too eager.
“This morning I got a letter from him.”
“He wrote to you? What did the letter say?”
“That he had to go away for a while because he needs time alone to think about his life.” She sniffs. “What he means is that he wants to think about our marriage.”
It doesn’t make sense. He can’t be gone if I keep getting the feeling that he’s stalking me. He has to be lying to her.
“Oh, Rachel, it doesn’t have to mean he walked out on your marriage. Maybe...well, maybe he’s going through something and needed to get away to process it. I’m sure he loves you and—”
“That’s what he wants you all to think.” The force of her seething reply takes me by surprise. I’ve always known her to be soft-spoken. “Our marriage is not as perfect as everyone thinks. He blames me, you know. He says it’s my fault that we’re not able to conceive. Before he left, he hardly looked at me anymore, not the way he looks at other women.”
“Are you sure the letter is from him?” For obvious reasons, I need to change the subject from the topic of Victor’s wandering eyes.
“Don’t you think I would recognize my own husband’s handwriting?” She inhales sharply. “The letter is definitely from him.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to upset you.” I close my eyes. “I just...do you need anything? Can I do something for you? I’m at Green Grocer’s right now. Is there something you need from the store?”
“That’s nice of you, Kelsey. But I have everything I need. I’m going out of town for a few days anyway. I’m visiting my mom in Billings.”
“That’s a good idea. Some time away might do you good.” It would be good for me too because I won’t feel terrible each time I see her. “If you need anything at all, give me a call. I mean it.”
“Don’t worry about it. You’ve done enough.” She pauses. “Look, I better get packing. I need to get out of this house. I can’t stand to be around his things.”
“Okay. Have a safe trip.” We end the call and I sit in the car for a long time with the doors locked, unsure what to feel.
I’m still in a daze as I drive home, oblivious to my surroundings. After driving on autopilot, it’s a wonder I manage to arrive in one piece.
I dump the grocery bags onto the kitchen counter and stare through the window at the distant lake. My stomach rolls every time I look out. I used to find so much comfort in the view, but now it only reminds me of the horrors of that night.
When I return to the car for another bag of groceries, I find a yellow sticky note on the windshield.
Before I even read the words, my gut tells me it’s from him. He’s making it clear that he’s not going away.
I peel the note from the glass. The words swim in front of my eyes before I can focus my gaze.
I know your little secret. If you don’t tell, I will.
I wrap my fingers around the note, crushing it until it’s so small I can barely feel it in my hand. I run back to the house, leaving the rest of the groceries in the trunk. I’m not safe outside. I’m not even sure I’m safe inside my own home.
On my way to our front door, I look everywhere around me, but I don’t see him. It doesn’t mean he’s not watching. After all, he admitted to watching me even when I didn’t know it.
As soon as I close the door behind me, bile rushes up my throat. I make it to the bathroom in time for it to flood my mouth and spew out of me into the toilet bowl, some of it coming out of my nose.
When I have retched until there’s nothing left inside me, I continue to kneel in front of the toilet, my burning eyes closed, my hand still tight around the crumpled note.
The message is clear.
Victor is out to destroy me. What will be left of me once he’s done?
My heart, my body, and every other part of me knows that this is just the beginning. He will hurt me again and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
I can only suffer in silence until the darkness completely suffocates me.
Nothing is more painful than watching my life falling apart, becoming ashes of what could have been.
Chapter 6
Jared leans back in his chair and lifts his cup of coffee to his lips. He drains it in only a few gulps. He never eats breakfast, claiming it makes him feel tired. I’ve stopped trying to talk him into it.
“Are you okay?” I ask when his eyes search my face as though he’s trying to read me. “Why are you looking at me that way?”
He puts down his cup and shakes his head. “Sorry. I was just wondering what would make a man leave his wife out of the blue. I could never do that to you.”
“Not even if I did something really terrible?”
“There are different levels of terrible.” He pushes his cup aside and lays his hands on the table, palms down. “What I’m saying is, I can’t just leave without telling you I’m going. What Victor did to Rachel is messed up.”
I lower my gaze to the table to hide the secrets in my eyes. “Have you tried calling him again?”
“A couple of times. His phone keeps going to voicemail. I guess he’s determined to stay away.” He drags a palm down the side of his face. “I bet he’s in a seedy motel somewhere with some filthy prostitute.”
I reach for my avocado and kale smoothie. “Why are you talking as if he’s done something like this before?”
“He’s run off before. But not without a word, and he has never stayed away this long. When he and Rachel go through a rough patch, he has a habit of searching for comfort in other women’s arms.” Jared sighs. “He’s one of those guys who are incapable of keeping it in their pants.”
“Oh.” I avert my gaze. “Rachel did mention that their marriage wasn’t as happy as we thought it was.”
The memory of Rachel’s phone call a week ago comes hand in hand with an image of the note I found on my car. Even if Victor hasn’t sent another one, the words written on the note eat away at me every night.
“No, it wasn’t. Victor never made a secret of it, but Rachel kept believing she could change him. But the truth is, she never could. After his bachelor party, I knew exactly what kind of marriage they would have. I’m actually surprised that Rachel is not the one who left him.”
I drink a few sips of the creamy smoothie and put down the cool glass. “You’re very different, you and Victor. It’s amazing that you still manage to be good friends.”
Jared shrugs. “When someone gives you a kidney, you owe them your life.”
“Yeah, I forgot about that.” Jared used to suffer from kidney disease and he did tell me about Victor giving him a kidney to save his life. Apparently, they were not even close friends at the time. It was only a couple of months after Jared moved to Sanlow, six years ago.
At first, I used to be grateful to Victor for what he did for Jared. I thought he was a good person. Until he started flirting with me.
Jared pushes back his chair and gets to his feet. He takes his cup to the sink.
After he rinses the cup and dries his hands, he pulls me to my feet and wraps his arms around my waist, tighter than is comfortable. “Don’t you ever leave me, you hear?” he says, his gaze arresting mine. “Don’t you dare even think about it.”
“The same goes for you.” My words come out in a shaky whisper.
“As long as you continue to be my perfect wife, I won’t.”
&nbs
p; His answer makes me as uncomfortable as his arms around my body.
“Don’t look so frightened. The ball is in your court, baby. Play by the rules and all will be well.” He kisses a corner of my lips, but his warm lips don’t melt the ice spreading through my stomach.
I love him and he loves me, but like Rachel and Victor’s, our marriage is far from perfect.
When Jared and I met, I was working as a waitress at the Little Meadow, a diner in the center of town. I’d only been working there for a week when he walked in one rainy evening.
Love was not in my plans, but Jared Bloom has a way of getting what he wants, and he wanted me. He came to the diner every night for two weeks until I agreed to go on a date with him. I fell in love after our first date and decided to try my luck with him.
Now here we are and I’m no longer sure if I made the right decision. I never once thought there would come a time when his love would suffocate me.
“I’ll see you in the evening,” he says with a grin. “I should be done by six. We’re going to the movies. It’s been a while since we did that. I’ll call you later so we can decide on the time.”
He walks out of the door before I can come up with a reason why we shouldn’t go. It’s not that I don’t want to go. I do, but a movie theater could be the perfect place for Victor to hide.
After the front door closes, I lock all the doors and windows and prepare to get through the day without coming undone.
As soon as Jared’s Ford Explorer pulls out of the garage, I jump into the shower, turning the water to the lowest temperature. I stand under the water, shivering with tears in my eyes, too drained by fear to even wash my body. After the initial bite of cold, my skin adjusts to the temperature and I step out. The cold was only to distract me from the thoughts torturing my mind.
On the way to our bedroom, I hear a sound downstairs. My heart is lodged in my throat as I run into the bedroom and lock the door. Then my gaze lands on the bed and blood drains from my face.
There’s a piece of paper on the bed. I’m positive it wasn’t there before I went to the bathroom.
It’s a headline torn from a newspaper article. I read the fading words, my chest tightening by the second.
The letters jump off the page and slam into my core.
Lacie Pullman the Granny Killer…
My fingers curl around my neck as I struggle to breathe.
Victor wasn’t lying. He knows the truth about me. The piece of paper is a sign that he’s near, maybe even hiding inside my own house while Rachel is out of town.
He waited for Jared to leave so he could send me another sign. What if he’s still inside the house? What if he wants to rape me again, to break me into even smaller pieces?
I can’t let him touch me again.
A wave of dizziness weakens my legs as I hurry to get dressed.
As soon as I’m fully clothed, I check the bedroom door and window to make sure they’re still closed. I’ll stay in the bedroom until Jared comes home if I have to. I only wish we had an en-suite bathroom. Sooner or later I’ll have to use the toilet. Fear has already started to loosen my bladder.
I’m sitting on the bed with an umbrella and an iron next to me, my arms around my legs. My body is rocking back and forth as I search my brain for ways to protect myself.
I dread going to the movies with Jared tonight. I have no doubt now that Victor will be there watching us. I have to call it off.
I reach for my phone and call Jared.
“Sweetie, I don’t think I’ll be able to make the movies tonight. I just remembered that Linda is coming over this evening. Why don’t you go out with your friends tonight?”
“Linda is coming over? That’s weird, I spoke to Don and he says she’s in Mississippi at a church retreat.”
Heat floods my cheeks. Nothing is more embarrassing than being caught in a lie. I should have said I’m sick or come up with another excuse that didn’t include anyone. But my mouth spoke before my mind could filter the words.
“Oh. I guess she forgot to cancel. Or maybe she did and I forgot.” I press my lips together, my eyes on the door as if I’m waiting for it to be kicked in. “I guess we can go to the movies.”
“What’s going on, Kelsey? You don’t sound like yourself. Is everything all right?”
“I’m tired, that’s all. I haven’t been sleeping too well lately.”
“I know. I always hear you walking around at night.”
“You do?” A heavy feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. How much does he see at night? Does he follow me around the house as I move from room to room to clean up the mess that has become my life?
“Yeah, I hear you getting out of bed. But I’m often too tired to keep you company. You clean at night, don’t you? The house is always sparkling when I get up in the morning. I should start calling you my midnight wife.”
I let out a nervous laugh. “I guess you married a strange woman, huh? When I can’t sleep, I think it’s a waste of time to sit and wait for morning. I prefer to do something productive.” He doesn’t have to know about the nightmares that torture me in my sleep.
“I see.” His tone is suddenly hard. “I don’t care if you wake up and clean at midnight, but Kelsey, never lie to me again. I’m not a fool. You didn’t have plans with Linda and you know it.”
Chapter 7
Just as I had expected, the small theater is packed with locals and a few tourists.
As we enter, with Jared’s arm around my waist, my entire body is on full alert.
It’s hard not to look over my shoulders every few seconds. My eyes flicker on every face we come across, searching for my enemy.
I don’t find him, but I feel his presence. I still feel his breath on my cheek, his hands on my body. I don’t see him, but he continues to invade my private space, disturbing the air I breathe.
“You okay?” Jared asks after we buy our tickets. “Are you still tired?”
After the way we ended the call this morning, with him telling me to never lie to him, I have been nervous about seeing him tonight.
To my relief, he showed up with a smile on his face and swept me into his arms as though nothing happened. How many things did he throw at the wall to rid himself of his anger?
“No, I’m fine. I look forward to seeing Uptown Pete.” As usual, Jared chose the movie. He gave me three options. I made a choice, but he changed it and made it look as though we arrived at the decision together. I don’t get why he asked me in the first place. I actually don’t mind watching the movie he chose. It’s a romantic comedy and some laughter would do me good right now.
“How about I get us some popcorn? That will cheer you up.”
It worries me that he thinks I need cheering up. I need to do a better job at hiding my emotions when he’s around. “No popcorn for me today,” I say as my eyes peer past his shoulders at a group of men behind him. None of them is Victor.
“No popcorn?” Jared raises an eyebrow. “Since when do you say no to popcorn? Are you sure you’re all right?” He lays a hand on my forehead.
I force a smile. “I’m on a diet and popcorn is not allowed. Haven’t you noticed all the smoothies I’ve been drinking?”
Even though Jared thinks I love popcorn, I’m not a fan. It’s one of those things he manipulated me into believing I like. Whenever we came to the movies and I refused popcorn, he went on about how it’s my favorite thing. In the beginning, I told him I didn’t like it, but he refused to accept it until I let it go.
“I don’t understand why you need to go on a diet.” He scans my body before his gaze returns to my face. “You’re perfect. Everyone says so.”
“Diets are not only for weight loss, you know. It’s for overall health.”
“Come on, Kelsey.” He chuckles. “A bit of popcorn won’t make a difference.”
I shrug. “I guess you’re right. But I’m feeling lightheaded now. Do you mind if I go in already to find our seats while you get the popcorn and d
rinks?”
Jared agrees, but as soon as he walks away from me, it hits me that I might have made a mistake. What if I go inside the theater and I’m all alone in there, surrounded by darkness? What if Victor follows me inside?
But if I don’t go in, Jared might find it odd since I told him I’m not feeling well.
I take my time walking to theater number 3. I’m relieved to find several people already inside.
Forcing myself to remain calm, I find our seats and lower myself into mine. I glance behind me. Nothing suspicious. Maybe I’m wrong and Victor is not here. Maybe he doesn’t even know where we are.
The commercials start and Jared has still not returned. But it’s fine because I have started to relax a little.
It would make sense for Victor not to come to the theater. There are too many people who might spot him, especially after he’s been away for three weeks. I don’t think he wants to be seen. He prefers to remain in the shadows.
When Jared finally appears at my side, I sigh with relief and take his hand. “You’re right. I do want popcorn.”
For some weird reason, my mouth actually waters when I inhale the warm, buttery aroma. Before now, it used to make me nauseous.
Jared kisses my cheek and pushes his hand into the bag of popcorn, coming out with a handful. I nudge him playfully in the ribs.
“That’s too much,” I say, a smile sneaking up on me. “This is my popcorn.”
“Come on,” he says, munching the popcorn. “I’m the one who went to get it. You have to share.”
“You should have gotten yourself some.”
“I thought when we married, we promised to share everything with each other.” He leans in so I can hear his words over the loud sounds coming from the screen.
I only laugh and he joins in. For the first time in a while, I don’t feel too tense around him. It reminds me of when we were dating, when things were easy, when he didn’t scare me a little. Maybe coming to the movies wasn’t such a bad idea. I need a break from my nightmares.