by L. G. Davis
“Let me go,” I say the words slowly, pulling away from him until he releases me. “I don’t care what you say or what you think. That bastard raped me. I never did anything to encourage him.”
“So you killed him.”
“It was self-defense. I needed him to get off me. You were not there. You don’t know what happened. You...” The words die on my tongue.
If he wasn’t there, how does he know about it?
Jared stands up again and towers over me. “You’re wrong. I do know. I have it on video. If I show it to the cops, you will go straight back to prison.”
Everything is coming at me too fast. It makes my head spin.
Jared was there that night? But how is that possible? I found him at home. He has to be lying. He’s probably trying to scare me. But the truth remains that he knows everything.
“No.” I pull myself to my feet as well, but I’m finding it hard to stand. “Jason Marone was arrested for the murder. I’m innocent. I didn’t...I don’t think I hit Victor hard enough to kill him.” The rock I hit him with was big enough to inflict damage, but I refuse to believe I killed someone. Maybe Jason Marone found him later and finished him off before dragging him into the river. I have to hold on to that. The thought of him being in prison for a murder he might not have committed makes my chest hurt. I know how it feels to be wrongfully convicted.
“You have two choices,” Jared says. “You can either stay here where I can keep you safe, or you can go to prison. But if you decide to stay here, the baby has to go. It will be a constant reminder of what you did.”
“You can’t make me get rid of my baby, Jared. What your friend did to me was disgusting, but the baby is innocent.”
“I can make you do anything because you’re mine. I own you. The sooner you realize that, the better.”
“What will you do, Jared?” Even though my insides are shaking, my voice is surprisingly strong. “Will you shove pills down my throat by force to kill my baby?”
“If I have to.” A vein is throbbing at the side of his jaw. “I can do whatever I want to you and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. You are a piece of nothing.”
Nothing.
The word slaps me hard across the face. It’s a word that brings back terrible memories. It accompanied me all through my childhood. Not a day went by without my grandmother making me feel worthless. That’s why I recognize the pain that digs deep into my heart and twists like a knife. That’s why I forget that I’m afraid of Jared and lunge for him. My fists connect with his chest before he grips my wrists so tight I’m afraid they might break.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” He brings his face close to mine. “Don’t make me do it.” He shoves me away from him. I cry out when my back slams into the sink.
I’m doing it all wrong. I’m standing in front of a dangerous and unpredictable man. I cannot attack him physically. If he hurts me, he will hurt my baby.
I need a plan if I want to get away from him. But I still have one card left to play.
I stretch to my full height and face him head on. “You’re not the most dangerous person I know,” I say. “There’s someone out there searching for me. He knows I live here. If you keep me here, I won’t be the only person in danger. It’s someone I dated and he’s a very jealous man.” I stop talking and dig into my jeans pocket, pulling out a crumpled note. “He left me this note. I found it inside our bedroom.”
Jared doesn’t bother taking the note from my hand. He just observes it for a few seconds before leaning back. His lips curl at the corners. “That was me, Porcupine. I left the note.”
“No.” The note falls from my hand. “No, you didn’t—"
“Yeah, I’m sorry I forgot to mention it.” He bends to pick up the piece of paper and tosses it into the bin. “It was a little game I was playing.” He shrugs. “Sometimes when I get bored, I mess with people’s heads. I heard you say porcupine a couple of times in your sleep. I was curious to know what it means. Now I do.”
“You’re a very sick man.” I inject as much venom into my words as I can.
“I know.” He chuckles. “And you’re stuck with me.” While I’m still reeling from everything that happened, what he has confessed to, he charges toward me and grabs me by the shoulders.
Without a word, he pushes me out of the bathroom and shoves me toward the stairs, yanking me back to my feet when I fall to the floor. Every step he drags me up the stairs, I fight and yell for him to stop, but he only laughs.
By the time he pushes me into our bedroom, I’m in pieces, too weak to do anything as he slams the door shut.
Chapter 22
I grab the door handle and pull hard. Like the one downstairs, it refuses to move. He has locked me inside. For the second time in my life, I’m being kept prisoner.
On the other side of the door, laughter explodes from him. It’s heartbreaking to know that my pain brings my husband pleasure.
“Jared, this is not funny. Let me out.” I ball my hands into fists and slam them against the door. My bones ache at the impact, but I don’t stop. Maybe Rachel or another neighbor will hear me scream and come to my rescue. But do I want that?
My screams die inside my throat and I rub my hands to massage away the pain. I’m alone in this. Alone with a monster that calls itself my husband. If anyone comes to the house, it’s Jared who will receive them at the door. If the cops show up, the night might end with handcuffs clicking around my wrists. I have no choice but to accept the agonizing truth that I’m stuck in Jared’s web.
How the hell did I enter into this twisted reality?
A sob is stuck in my throat as I stumble back, my body shaking. I don’t realize how fast I’m moving backward until my calves touch the edge of the bed.
I sink onto the soft mattress, running my gaze over the powder blue bed linen. It smells faintly of my favorite jasmine and ylang ylang fabric softener.
Even though the room is warm, my teeth are chattering. I jam my hands into my armpits, remembering the day my grandmother locked me out of the house. I was only eight years old. She didn’t care that it was in the middle of winter and the air was bitter cold. She didn’t care that I was only dressed in an old t-shirt and shorts. I had broken a plate and had to be punished. I was lucky to find shelter in the stables, where I turned to an old threadbare blanket for warmth. It barely kept me warm, but it was better than nothing.
Now I’m not cold physically, but the biting cold under my skin feels almost physical.
When I hear the sound of Jared’s footsteps in the hallway, I’m tempted to rush back to the door, to beg him to open it. But then what? If he opens the door, I will come face to face with the monster in him.
The best thing for me to do is stay put so I can think. I have to keep my mind clear in order to be able to get away from him. I need to come up with a plan instead of reacting all the time.
But first, I reach into my jeans pocket for my phone. I need to call Rosemary, to explain why I didn’t come out of the house to meet the man she had sent to rescue me. She must have called me several times to find out what happened, but I had put my phone on silent. I pray she won’t give up on me. I need her now more than ever before. She’s my only friend.
The pocket that had held my phone is empty. It must have fallen out while Jared was dragging me up the stairs.
Oh, my God. I can’t even call anyone for help.
A cold shower of dread touches my spine. What if Jared found my phone? He would see the calls exchanged between me and Rosemary. He might even send her a text to say I changed my mind about running away. Rosemary would have no reason not to believe it.
I close my eyes and force my mind to think of another way out of my misery. Nothing comes to mind. I lift my lids again and my gaze lands on the windows. Now it’s clear why the bars are up. Jared planned this whole thing from the start. He installed the bars not to keep us safe, but to keep me trapped inside the bedroom.
He knew the day wou
ld come when I would discover who he truly is and try to get away.
I lift myself off the bed and shuffle to the window, my head pounding.
From our window, I have a direct view of the house that now belongs to Rachel alone, instead of Rachel and Victor. The windows are closed and the curtains are drawn. She must be already in bed.
I walk back to the bed and lower myself into the dent I created in the mattress, my hands wedged between my knees. For a while, I stare into space, trying not to think of what Jared plans to do to me.
Forcing myself to be calm for the sake of the baby, I rise to my feet again and walk to the wardrobe. As soon as I throw open the doors, Jared’s citrus and musk cologne wraps itself around me.
I pull his clothes from drawers and hangers, pushing my hands into pockets. I don’t know what I’m searching for. Maybe I’m searching for clues that would help me better understand the way his twisted mind works. I find nothing.
There’s nothing else in the room for me to search through. Aside from the bed, the wardrobe, and a small dresser, it’s bare.
Jared has always insisted that he wanted the bedroom to be just for sleeping. No TV, no desk, nothing else but the necessities. He calls himself a minimalist, never wanting a room to be cluttered. But now the truth is out in the open. It was all building up to this moment. He knew this room would become my prison.
I lie down on the bed, too exhausted to do anything else. Curled up in a fetal position, I shut my eyes, listening for sounds outside the room. Since we live on a quiet street, there’s not much to hear at night. I’m not even sure whether Jared is still in the house. I can no longer hear his movements.
Without planning to, I fall asleep and jolt awake at the sound of his footfalls on the stairs followed by a soft whistle.
Disoriented, I sit up and wait for him to open the door. He doesn’t. Not immediately. Instead, he remains outside, whistling louder now, torturing me. When he finally speaks, I shiver with both anticipation and dread.
“I will open the door now,” he says. “I want you to promise that you will not do anything stupid.”
I lick my dry lips and slide off the bed. Desperate to be let out, I hurry to the door. “I won’t.”
He probably doesn’t believe me because at least five more minutes go by and the door is still locked. He speaks again, “I hope you know by now that if you betray me in any way, there will be consequences.”
I nod as though he can see me from the other side.
“Did you hear what I said?” His voice is like thunder hitting my eardrums.
“I hear you.” Hopefully he can hear me. I’m not able to raise my voice above a whisper.
The door opens and I back away, afraid to get hurt.
He closes the door behind him and leans against it. His eyes are softer now, but he won’t fool me again into believing he’s a good person. He’s rotten to the core.
“Jared, please let me go. You never have to see me again.” I bring my hands together, begging him. Fighting him gets me nowhere. I only get hurt in the process. “Please.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that. I won’t let my hard work go to waste. You’re staying right here inside our home, in our marriage.” He blows out a breath. “While you were up here, I did some thinking.”
I don’t say anything so he continues. “If you behave yourself, I’ll let you keep the baby. But no one can ever know that it’s not my kid. Is that clear?”
I nod even though there’s no way in hell I’ll let him raise my baby. But it’s good that for now my child is safe. I have to play along until I find a solution. “Thank you.”
“Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page.” He rubs his hands together and a smile creeps up on his face. “Now this is what’s going to happen. We’re going to host a dinner again, like we used to do before you slept with my best friend. During the dinner, we will announce our good news.”
“Okay.” I press my lips together, doing my best to keep from lashing out at him. “What else do you want me to do? Anything.”
“Do what you’ve always done. Cook, clean, smile. You’re a great actress, just like I’m a great actor. This house is our film set and we are going to fool everyone into believing we’re a happy couple. They will continue to envy us for our happiness.” He crosses his arms across his chest. “I never wanted a child because I don’t want some brat taking over my life. Now I don’t think I have a choice. But as soon as the kid is old enough, it’s going to boarding school. Are we on the same page?”
“Yes,” I answer. I’ll say whatever he wants to hear. But I’m determined to find a way out of this house before my child is even born. As soon as he lets me out of the bedroom, I will start looking for ways to escape.
“Perfect.” A grin widens his lips. “I’ll be sure to let everyone know about the dinner.” He yawns, stretching his arms above his head. “It’s been a long night. We should go to bed now. Tomorrow, we can start living our married life again from scratch. I have to say, it’s a relief that I no longer have to pretend to you that I’m someone I’m not.”
“Where do you want me to sleep?” I ask, my temples throbbing with rage.
“What kind of question is that?” His brow knits together. “We are a happily married couple, remember? You will continue to sleep in our bed. But I will no longer touch you in a way a husband touches his wife. That part of our lives is over.”
Relief washes over me. I never want him to touch me again.
When I move toward the bed, he calls my name. “There’s one other thing.”
I turn around slowly, holding my breath. I don’t say anything as our eyes meet from across the room. Seconds pass while I wait for him to hit me with another blow.
“You’ll no longer leave this house without me by your side. We will be doing everything together, including the shopping. When I’m not home, you’ll stay inside this room until I return.”
My desire to lash out burns inside my belly like hot lava, but I keep it in check. I bite down on my lip and turn away from him again. When I reach the bed, my stomach grumbles. The sound reaches his ears and he chuckles.
“Someone’s hungry,” he says. “I’ll get you something to eat. I’ll be right back.”
He locks me inside the room again when he fetches the food. I’m too hungry to care at this point.
He comes back with a slice of plain bread and a glass of water.
“Eat it or starve,” he says pointing to the bread. “From now on, you will live on bread and water. The only time you’ll eat anything else is when we have guests over.” He lowers the plate onto the bed. “Consider it your punishment for trying to leave me. Next time, it will be something much worse.”
Chapter 23
Jared and I are sitting at the dining table surrounded by his friends. They have always been his friends, not mine.
There are a total of seven guests at the table, three couples, and Rachel. The kids are in another room, being looked after by Linda and Don’s nanny.
Everything looks the same, but it all feels different, damaged.
Unlike me, Jared is completely relaxed in his chair, smiling as he tells them a joke.
They all laugh and he throws me a look. A silent message. He expects me to join in the laughter. I do. I have to. I’m not yet strong enough to deal with the consequences.
Two days ago, I refused to sleep in the bed next to him. As a result, he denied me food for an entire day. The one thought on my mind that night was that by disobeying him, I was hurting my baby.
From time to time, he reaches out and touches my hand, squeezing it. The urge to distance myself from his touch grows stronger. But I’m not stupid. This is a game and I’m afraid to lose.
You are a great actress, Kelsey. You can get through this.
Today, I kept the promise I made to Jared a week ago. Like a dutiful wife, I cooked a tasty meal that made my own mouth water, but I was not allowed to even taste it while cooking. It was Jared who made sur
e the fig and grape sauce that was to go with the pork chops was the perfect blend of sweet and sour. I had to wait for the guests to arrive before I could eat.
Only a few minutes after I brought the food to the table, I finished mine. I was the first to clear my plate. The entire time I ate, I felt Jared’s gaze on me. I never looked up.
The grapefruit tartlets I served for dessert also disappeared from my plate as fast as the pork chops did.
While everyone else digs into their dessert, I take a sip of water and stare at Rachel over the rim of my glass.
She lifts one of her three tartlets to her lips, but keeps lowering it onto the plate again without taking a bite.
She’s here and not here at the same time. I guess she’s finding it hard to celebrate when she’s going through hell. I had been surprised when Jared invited her. In her place, I would not have wanted to come.
“Kelsey,” Linda says, “you’re so quiet tonight. You’ve barely said a word since you served us the delicious food.” She presses an ivory napkin to her lips. “I always look forward to coming over. I can never get enough of your food. I was worried that you’d never do it again. Since Victor can no longer join us, I thought—it’s awful what—”
“Honey, don’t.” Don touches her arm to stop her from continuing. Everyone’s attention instantly goes to Rachel, who doesn’t look up from her plate, her shoulders hunched, her greasy hair hanging over her face almost touching her food.
“I’m sorry, Rachel.” Don throws his wife a look of disapproval. “It’s terrible what happened to Victor. We all miss him greatly. If there’s anything we can do, let us know.”
“It’s shocking that Jason Marone has been released,” Connie cuts in.
“What?” The word leaves my lips before I can stop it. Jared narrows his eyes at me and I purse my lips to keep myself from saying another word.
“Yeah.” Jared reaches for his water and takes a gulp that makes his Adam’s apple bob. “I forgot to tell you, honey. They found new evidence that revealed that Jason couldn’t have been at the crime scene that night. His alibi came forward.”