“Your Highness has probably forgotten,” said Mr Bahu; “but I had to have an operation last summer. For hernia,” he specified. “Well, this young lady used to come and wash me every morning. Punctually at eight-forty-five. And now, after having vanished for all these months, here she is again!”
“Synchronicity,” said the Rani oracularly. “It’s all part of the Plan.”
“I’m supposed to give Mr Farnaby an injection,” said the little nurse looking up, still unsmiling, from her professional bag.
“Doctor’s orders are doctor’s orders,” cried the Rani, overacting the role of royal personage deigning to be playfully gracious. “To hear is to obey. But where’s my chauffeur?”
“Your chauffeur’s here,” called a familiar voice.
Beautiful as a vision of Ganymede, Murugan was standing in the doorway. A look of amusement appeared on the little nurse’s face.
“Hullo, Murugan — I mean, Your Highness.” She bobbed another curtsey which he was free to take as a mark of respect or of ironic mockery.
“Oh hullo, Radha,” said the boy in a tone that was meant to be distantly casual. He walked past her to where his mother was sitting. “The car,” he said, “is at the door. Or rather the so-called car.” With a sarcastic laugh, “It’s a Baby Austin, 1954 vintage,” he explained to Will. “The best that this highly civilized country can provide for its royal family. Rendang gives its ambassador a Bentley,” he added bitterly.
“Which will be calling for me at this address in about ten minutes,” said Mr Bahu, looking at his watch. “So may I be permitted to take leave of you here, Your Highness?”
The Rani extended her hand. With all the piety of a good Catholic kissing a Cardinal’s ring, he bent over it; then, straightening himself up, he turned to Will.
“I’m assuming — perhaps unjustifiably — that Mr Farnaby can put up with me for a little longer. May I stay?”
Will assured the ambassador that he would be delighted.
“And I hope,” said Mr Bahu to the little nurse, “that there will be no objections on medical grounds?”
“Not on medical grounds,” said the girl in a tone that implied the existence of the most cogent non-medical objections.
Assisted by Murugan, the Rani hoisted herself out of her chair. “Au revoir, mon cher Farnaby,” she said as she gave him her jewelled hand. Her smile was charged with a sweetness that Will found positively menacing.
“Good-bye, ma’am.”
She turned, patted the little nurse’s cheek and sailed out of the room. Like a pinnace in the wake of a full-rigged ship of the line, Murugan trailed after her.
CHAPTER SIX
“GOLLY!” THE LITTLE nurse exploded, when the door was safely closed behind them.
“I entirely agree with you,” said Will.
The Voltairean light twinkled for a moment on Mr Bahu’s evangelical face. “Golly,” he repeated. “It was what I heard an English schoolboy saying when he first saw the Great Pyramid. The Rani makes the same kind of impression. Monumental. She’s what the Germans call eine grosse Seele.” The twinkle had faded, the face was unequivocally Savonarola’s, the words, it was obvious, were for publication.
The little nurse suddenly started to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Will asked.
“I suddenly saw the Great Pyramid all dressed up in white muslin,” she gasped. “Dr Robert calls it the mystic’s uniform.”
“Witty, very witty!” said Mr Bahu. “And yet,” he added diplomatically, “I don’t know why mystics shouldn’t wear uniforms, if they feel like it.”
The little nurse drew a deep breath, wiped the tears of merriment from her eyes and began to make her preparations for giving the patient his injection.
“I know exactly what you’re thinking,” she said to Will. “You’re thinking I’m much too young to do a good job.”
“I certainly think you’re very young.”
“You people go to a University at eighteen and stay there for four years. We start at sixteen and go on with our education till we’re twenty-four — half-time study and half-time work. I’ve been doing biology and at the same time doing this job for two years. So I’m not quite such a fool as I look. Actually I’m a pretty good nurse.”
“A statement,” said Mr Bahu, “which I can unequivocally confirm. Miss Radha is not merely a good nurse; she’s an absolutely first-rate one.”
But what he really meant, Will felt sure as he studied the expression on that face of a much-tempted monk, was that Miss Radha had a first-rate midriff, first-rate navel and first-rate breasts. But the owner of the navel, midriff and breasts had clearly resented Savonarola’s admiration, or at any rate the way it had been expressed. Hopefully, over-hopefully, the rebuffed ambassador was returning to the attack.
The spirit lamp was lighted and, while the needle was being boiled, little Nurse Appu took her patient’s temperature.
“Ninety-nine point two.”
“Does that mean I have to be banished?” Mr Bahu enquired.
“Not so far as he’s concerned,” the girl answered.
“So please stay,” said Will.
The little nurse gave him his injection of antibiotic, then, from one of the bottles in her bag, stirred a tablespoonful of some greenish liquid into half a glass of water.
“Drink this.”
It tasted like one of those herbal concoctions that health-food enthusiasts substitute for tea.
“What is it?” Will asked, and was told that it was an extract from a mountain plant related to valerian.
“It helps people to stop worrying,” the little nurse explained, “without making them sleepy. We give it to convalescents. It’s useful, too, in mental cases.”
“Which am I! Mental or convalescent?”
“Both,” she answered without hesitation.
Will laughed aloud. “That’s what comes of fishing for compliments.”
“I didn’t mean to be rude,” she assured him. “All I meant was that I’ve never met anybody from the outside who wasn’t a mental case.”
“Including the Ambassador?”
She turned the question back upon the questioner. “What do you think?”
Will passed it on to Mr Bahu. “You’re the expert in this field,” he said.
“Settle it between yourselves,” said the little nurse. “I’ve got to go and see about my patient’s lunch.”
Mr Bahu watched her go; then, raising his left eyebrow, he let fall his monocle and started methodically to polish the lens with his handkerchief. “You’re aberrated in one way,” he said to Will. “I’m aberrated in another. A schizoid (isn’t that what you are?) and, from the other side of the world, a paranoid. Both of us victims of the same twentieth-century plague. Not the Black Death, this time; the Grey Life. Were you ever interested in power?” he asked after a moment of silence.
“Never.” Will shook his head emphatically. “One can’t have power without committing oneself.”
“And for you the horror of being committed outweighs the pleasure of pushing other people around?”
“By a factor of several thousand times.”
“So it was never a temptation?”
“Never.” Then after a pause, “Let’s get down to business,” Will added in another tone.
“To business,” Mr Bahu repeated. “Tell me something about Lord Aldehyde?”
“Well, as the Rani said, he’s remarkably generous.”
“I’m not interested in his virtues, only his intelligence. How bright is he?”
“Bright enough to know that nobody does anything for nothing.”
“Good,” said Mr Bahu. “Then tell him from me that for effective work by experts in strategic positions he must be prepared to lay out at least ten times what he’s going to pay you.”
“I’ll write him a letter to that effect.”
“And do it today,” Mr Bahu advised. “The plane leaves Shivapuram tomorrow evening, and there won’t be anot
her outgoing mail for a whole week.”
“Thank you for telling me,” said Will. “And now — Her Highness and the shockable stripling being gone — let’s move on to the next temptation. What about sex?”
With the gesture of a man who tries to rid himself of a cloud of importunate insects, Mr Bahu waved a brown and bony hand back and forth in front of his face. “Just a distraction, that’s all. Just a nagging, humiliating vexation. But an intelligent man can always cope with it.”
“How difficult it is,” said Will, “to understand another man’s vices!”
“You’re right. Everybody should stick to the insanity that God has seen fit to curse him with. Pecca fortiter — that was Luther’s advice. But make a point of sinning your own sins, not someone else’s. And above all don’t do what the people of this island do. Don’t try to behave as though you were essentially sane and naturally good. We’re all demented sinners in the same cosmic boat — and the boat is perpetually sinking.”
“In spite of which, no rat is justified in leaving it. Is that what you’re saying?”
“A few of them may sometimes try to leave. But they never get very far. History and the other rats will always see to it that they drown with the rest of us. That’s why Pala doesn’t have the ghost of a chance.”
Carrying a tray, the little nurse re-entered the room.
“Buddhist food,” she said, as she tied a napkin round Will’s neck. “All except the fish. But we’ve decided that fishes are vegetables within the meaning of the act.”
Will started to eat.
“Apart from the Rani and Murugan and us two here,” he asked after swallowing the first mouthful, “how many people from the outside have you ever met?”
“Well, there was that group of American doctors,” she answered. “They came to Shivapuram last year, while I was working at the Central Hospital.”
“What were they doing here?”
“They wanted to find out why we have such a low rate of neurosis and cardiovascular trouble. Those doctors!” She shook her head. “I tell you, Mr Farnaby, they really made my hair stand on end — made everybody’s hair stand on end in the whole hospital.”
“So you think our medicine’s pretty primitive?”
“That’s the wrong word. It isn’t primitive. It’s fifty per cent terrific and fifty per cent non-existent. Marvellous antibiotics — but absolutely no methods for increasing resistance, so that antibiotics won’t be necessary. Fantastic operations — but when it comes to teaching people the way of going through life without having to be chopped up, absolutely nothing. And it’s the same all along the line. Alpha Plus for patching you up when you’ve started to fall apart; but Delta Minus for keeping you healthy. Apart from sewage systems and synthetic vitamins, you don’t seem to do anything at all about prevention. And yet you’ve got a proverb: prevention is better than cure.”
“But cure,” said Will, “is so much more dramatic than prevention. And for the doctors it’s also a lot more profitable.”
“Maybe for your doctors,” said the little nurse. “Not for ours. Ours get paid for keeping people well.”
“How is it done?”
“We’ve been asking that question for a hundred years, and we’ve found a lot of answers. Chemical answers, psychological answers, answers in terms of what you eat, how you make love, what you see and hear, how you feel about being who you are in this kind of world.”
“And which are the best answers?”
“None of them is best without the others.”
“So there’s no panacea.”
“How can there be?” And she quoted the little rhyme that every student nurse had to learn by heart on the first day of her training.
“‘I’ am a crowd, obeying as many laws
As it has members. Chemically impure
Are all ‘my’ beings. There’s no single cure
For what can never have a single cause.
So whether it’s prevention or whether it’s cure, we attack on all the fronts at once. All the fronts,” she insisted, “from diet to auto-suggestion, from negative ions to meditation.”
“Very sensible,” was Will’s comment.
“Perhaps a little too sensible,” said Mr Bahu. “Did you ever try to talk sense to a maniac?” Will shook his head. “I did once.” He lifted the greying lock that slanted obliquely across his forehead. Just below the hair-line a jagged scar stood out, strangely pale against the brown skin. “Luckily for me, the bottle he hit me with was pretty flimsy.” Smoothing his ruffled hair, he turned to the little nurse. “Don’t ever forget, Miss Radha: to the senseless nothing is more maddening than sense. Pala is a small island completely surrounded by twenty-nine hundred million mental cases. So beware of being too rational. In the country of the insane, the integrated man doesn’t become king.” Mr Bahu’s face was positively twinkling with Voltairean glee. “He gets lynched.”
Will laughed perfunctorily, then turned again to the little nurse.
“Don’t you have any candidates for the asylum?” he asked.
“Just as many as you have — I mean in proportion to the population. At least that’s what the textbook says.”
“So living in a sensible world doesn’t seem to make any difference.”
“Not to the people with the kind of body-chemistry that’ll turn them into psychotics. They’re born vulnerable. Little troubles that other people hardly notice can bring them down. We’re just beginning to find out what it is that makes them so vulnerable. We’re beginning to be able to spot them in advance of a breakdown. And once they’ve been spotted, we can do something to raise their resistance. Prevention again — and, of course, on all the fronts at once.”
“So being born into a sensible world will make a difference even for the predestined psychotic.”
“And for the neurotics it has already made a difference. Your neurosis rate is about one in five or even four. Ours is about one in twenty. The one that breaks down gets treatment, on all fronts, and the nineteen who don’t break down have had prevention on all the fronts. Which brings me back to those American doctors. Three of them were psychiatrists, and one of the psychiatrists smoked cigars without stopping and had a German accent. He was the one that was chosen to give us a lecture. What a lecture!” The little nurse held her head between her hands. “I never heard anything like it.”
“What was it about?”
“About the way they treat people with neurotic symptoms. We just couldn’t believe our ears. They never attack on all the fronts; they only attack on about half of one front. So far as they’re concerned, the physical fronts don’t exist. Except for a mouth and an anus, their patient doesn’t have a body. He isn’t an organism, he wasn’t born with a constitution or a temperament. All he has is the two ends of a digestive tube, a family and a psyche. But what sort of a psyche? Obviously not the whole mind, not the mind as it really is. How could it be that when they take no account of a person’s anatomy, or biochemistry or physiology? Mind abstracted from body — that’s the only front they attack on. And not even on the whole of that front. The man with the cigar kept talking about the unconscious. But the only unconscious they ever pay attention to is the negative unconscious, the garbage that people have tried to get rid of by burying it in the basement. Not a single word about the positive unconscious. No attempt to help the patient to open himself up to the life force or the Buddha Nature. And no attempt even to teach him to be a little more conscious in his everyday life. You know: ‘Here and now, boys.’ ‘Attention.’” She gave an imitation of the mynah birds. “These people just leave the unfortunate neurotic to wallow in his old bad habits of never being all there in present time. The whole thing is just pure idiocy! No, the man with the cigar didn’t even have that excuse; he was as clever as clever can be. So it’s not idiocy. It must be something voluntary, something self-induced — like getting drunk, or talking yourself into believing some piece of foolishness because it happens to be in the Scriptures. A
nd then look at their idea of what’s normal. Believe it or not, a normal human being is one who can have an orgasm and is adjusted to his society.” Once again the little nurse held her head between her hands. “It’s unimaginable! No question about what you do with your orgasms. No question about the quality of your feelings and thoughts and perceptions. And then what about the society you’re supposed to be adjusted to? Is it a mad society or a sane one? And even if it’s pretty sane, is it right that anybody should be completely adjusted to it?”
With another of his twinkling smiles, “Those whom God would destroy,” said the Ambassador, “He first makes mad. Or alternatively, and perhaps even more effectively, He first makes them sane.” Mr Bahu rose and walked to the window. “My car has come for me. I must be getting back to Shivapuram and my desk.” He turned to Will and treated him to a long and flowery farewell. Then, switching off the ambassador, “Don’t forget to write that letter,” he said. “It’s very important.” He smiled conspiratorially and, passing his thumb back and forth across the first two fingers of his right hand, he counted out invisible money.
“Thank goodness,” said the little nurse when he had gone.
“What was his offence?” Will enquired. “The usual thing?”
“Offering money to someone you want to go to bed with — but she doesn’t like you. So you offer more. Is that usual where he comes from?”
“Profoundly usual,” Will assured her.
“Well, I didn’t like it.”
“So I could see. And here’s another question. What about Murugan?”
“What makes you ask?”
“Curiosity. I noticed that you’d met before. Was that when he was here two years ago without his mother?”
“How did you know about that?”
“A little bird told me — or rather an extremely massive bird.”
“The Rani! She must have made it sound like Sodom and Gomorrah.”
“But unfortunately I was spared the lurid details. Dark hints — that was all she gave me. Hints, for example, about veteran Messalinas giving lessons in love to innocent young boys.”
Complete Works of Aldous Huxley Page 294