by Ella Goode
“I bet he isn’t.” I glower. The mention of Thomas drives away my appetite, too. “You go get ready, and I’ll throw the eggs into a tortilla that you can eat in the Rover.”
“No. I’m good.” She edges toward the door.
I’m confused right now. Last night, she was eating pizza and wearing my clothes. She’s still wearing my clothes, but she’s acting like they’re too tight on her frame and that she can’t wait to get away from me. “I haven’t ridden on the train here. I’ll go with you.”
“No.” She gives me a fake smile, the one I know she gives Thomas, and that fucking sucks. “I’m good.”
I need to figure out how to rewind time and go back to before she fell asleep because I swear to God, we were moving in the right direction, but now? Now I feel like there’s a gulf between us that I can’t cross. “All right. You stay good, though, okay? Because it’s important to me that you’re happy.”
A quick flash of some emotion skates across her face. It looks like confusion, but I can’t be sure.
“Thanks.” She edges out of the door and then looks back, searchingly. “For everything.”
It sounds like she’s giving me the heave-ho, but even if she’s not interested now, even if she’s changed her mind, I’m not backing down. There are some things worth fighting for, and she’s one of them.
Twelve
Dove
I stab a piece of sushi with my chopsticks before dipping it into the soy sauce and shoving the whole thing into my mouth.
“You do know that’s not how you eat that, right?” Avery asks. I can tell she’s trying not to laugh.
“I don’t judge you on how you eat your food.” I stab another piece, repeating the process. Taking all my frustration out on it.
“So what went so wrong that you’re now stabbing things? Something freak you out?” She wiggles her perfect brows. “Does he have three nipples or something?” I furrow my eyebrows at her strange questions. “Don’t knock someone having three nipples; it's really not a big deal.”
“Jay could have a nipple on his forehead and he’d still look good.”
“Isn't that the truth? Not like he couldn't pay to have it taken off.”
My next piece of sushi stops halfway to my mouth. Her words strike me as strange. “That sounds expensive.” Avery flushes for a moment. Obviously she forgot that Jay lives in the same crappy building that I do. He obviously can’t afford to have that type of surgery. Not that he needs it because he doesn’t have a third nipple. At this point, I’m not even sure why I’m still thinking about this.
“It’s newsworthy is all I’m suggesting. Sure he’d get it done for free.” I guess that was true; I’ve never seen anyone with a nipple on their forehead. Unless you count that monstrosity of a pimple I got in the 8th grade. It had been so bad that Avery made those headbands that go over your forehead make a comeback for three whole months at school so I could hide it.
“I slept at his place last night.” Avery’s chopsticks fall from her hands as she stares at me with an open mouth. “Not like that.” I wave my chopsticks in the air. “We had dinner and then we passed out.”
“Passed out where?”
“Are you sure you don’t want to be a reporter one day?”
“Never said I didn't want to be one.” She gives me a look that says she’s not going to stop pushing until I spill all of the details and of course I will. Avery isn't only my sister but my best friend too.
“In his bed watching TV and eating pizza. I swear it was nothing more.” I drop my own chopsticks, not feeling so hungry anymore.
“There’s more.” She looks at me like she can see straight into my brain.
“Pretty sure I was all over him in my sleep. Then when I woke up he was gone. I was sure I’d overstayed my welcome.”
Avery bursts out into laughter so hard everyone in the restaurant turns and looks our way. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. You haven't worn shit out.”
“Okay, what if he thinks I’m a prude.”
“You kind of are.” I stick my tongue out at her even though I know it’s childish. “Hey, I didn't say there was anything wrong with that.” I look down at my food. I feel way out of my element when it comes to Jay. I’ve never dated, and I have no idea what the heck I’m doing.
“I am a prude.”
“You’re just waiting for the right one.” Am I? I suck down the rest of my water.
“I think I’m scared of being hurt.”
“That too,” Avery agrees.
“I want that excitement and thrill I get when he’s near.”
“Well, it’s not as if you don’t know where to find him.”
“He could be out.”
“He’s at home.”
“How do you know? Plus, when did you even switch over to being on team Jay?”
She holds up two fingers. “One, I listened to him talk.” She puts one down. “And two, I have no doubt the man is at home waiting for you to show up. He’s not the kind of man who gets his feelings hurt when he’s told no. He’s the kind that works harder to get what he wants.”
“Why me—”
“I will come across this table if you finish that damn sentence. When are you going to get it through that head of yours that you're not that fourteen-year-old girl anymore? There isn’t one guy that we went to high school with that wouldn’t fuck you.”
“Well, I was trying to eat.” I push the plate across the table to her.
“What about you, Dove? What is it you do when you want something? I’ve never in my life known someone your age who can fight through life the way you always have. Even if it turns out he is a dickhead and I have to Lorena Bobbitt his ass, we all know a broken heart can’t take you down.”
My eyes start to sting. “But how many times can something break before it can’t be put back together?”
She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “If that day ever did come—which I don’t think it will—it’s me, Dove, your sister, that will always be here to help you put it back together.”
“How did I get so lucky to have a sister like you?”
“I promise you, Dove, that feeling goes both ways. You slapped those rose-colored glasses right off my face. Now that we got all the mushy shit out of the way, are you going to keep pretending that you came to dinner with me because you really wanted to? Or are you going to admit that you’re here because you’re avoiding the sexy man next door?”
“Don’t call him sexy.” Avery only laughs more. “I love having dinner with you.”
“I know. I got the bill. Get your ass out of here.”
“I love you.” I stand before bending down and kissing her cheek.
“I love you too.” She holds out two fortune cookies. “One for you and one for Jay. I want you to open them together tonight. Trust me, it will be fun.” I snag them from her before heading out. I’m happy we picked a place close to mine. The Chinese food is the best around here.
My heart starts to race the closer I get to my building. Before I can knock on the door to Jay’s, it flies open.
“I’m terrible at the dating thing, and it scares the crap out of me,” I blurt out. A half smile forms on his lips, making a small dimple I never noticed before appear.
“We don’t have to rush anything, Dove. We can go at your pace. We can watch movies, go to dinner, have a few drinks. Hell, we can even play UNO but I really hope you’re not a sore loser because I’m pretty kickass.”
“That all sounds wonderful, Jay.” My face starts to warm, and I make myself push on. “Right now all I really want to do is kiss you. Will you kiss me?” I barely get the words out and his mouth is on mine, making all the worries from earlier melt away.
Thirteen
Jay
I thought I’d messed up, but she was scared. That’s all. Scared animals tend to hide so no one can see their wounds because their predators will take them out. Humans aren’t much different, right? Some sense weakness and at
tack. How is she going to know I’m not one of the wolves? God, she’s so precious. I could eat her, but all she needs from me now is a kiss.
I draw her smaller body flush against mine and mold my lips against hers. She kisses me back, opening her mouth, snaking her tongue against mine. Her tentative, cautious flicks drive me wild. I plunge my own tongue deeper into her mouth and pull her tighter against me. My erection is thick and full. The blood is pounding in my ears in rhythm with a beat that is driving me to want to lay her down on the wood floor, peel off her panties, and spear her with my hard cock. A loud cough and a door banging shut interrupts my plans.
Dove breaks away, her breath catching in her throat, a pretty pink staining her cheeks. Over the top of her head, I spot our neighbors glaring at us.
“Apartments have doors for a reason. You don’t need to put on a show. There are kids that live here.”
My eyes dip downward to see a young boy with his eyes covered by his mother’s hands.
“Sorry.” I nod my head and pull Dove inside my apartment, closing the door behind us.
A wry smile tips the corners of her lips up. “Maybe I should’ve been more specific.”
“Like where you wanted me to kiss you?” I arch my eyebrow.
She blushes and turns to cough into her hand. Clearing her throat, she says, “I meant I should have said take me inside and kiss me.”
“We’re inside now.” I glance around the apartment. It’s a small space, and while Abel’s wife did a great job of making the most of it with a sectional at one end and a nice flat screen that I have yet to turn on, the only thing I can focus on is the bedroom that is only a few steps away. If we stay here, I’m going to have a hard time keeping my hands to myself.
“Should we go somewhere?” I propose.
Her head comes up. “Sure. Where?”
“I have an idea.” I grab my keys and then her hand, pulling her out the door. Our neighbor has since disappeared inside her own place, leaving the coast clear.
“How long have you lived here?” I ask.
“All of my life. How about you?”
I realize we haven’t shared much information with each other. “I just got back to the States. After I finished photographing wolves in Russia, I went south of the equator and ended up finding some lost cities.”
“Lost cities?” she asks.
I nod but wait to answer since we’ve reached the Rover. I help her in and when I’m inside and belted, I continue, “Old cities that have been abandoned and nature has sort of overtaken them.”
“Are there a lot of those?”
“More than you’d think.” I pull out of the parking lot and head west toward the county line.
“Why are they abandoned?”
“Could be for a variety of reasons, but I think it’s mostly economic. The older cities may have been abandoned because of superstition. If a number of people died because of an illness, the survivors would move on. If there were long periods of drought, people could’ve thought the land was cursed. Most of the time I think people left because the water source dried up or a trading route was opened somewhere else. Kind of like these days when small towns become ghost towns as people flock to the big city to find jobs. These lost cities are sort of snapshots of life at one time, life before the downturn or life as it is eroding.”
“I think my mom wanted to leave, but my father tied her here. After she died, I was thinking about moving somewhere, maybe west? I heard Seattle was nice, but Avery found me and so I stayed.” Dove sighs and stares out the window. She sounds like she has regrets about that decision.
“No other siblings other than your sister?”
“No. Just Avery.”
Probably a good thing considering the man was married. “How about you?”
“They moved down to Florida about six or seven years ago. I can’t remember. I was gone.” Was I in the Amazon at the time shooting rare birds or somewhere else?
“You’ve gone many places, places that I probably couldn’t even identify on a map.”
All those excursions were bleeding together into a kaleidoscope of memories, shifting every time I tried to pull them up. I was tired of moving around. I wanted to plant my feet somewhere, with someone. “I’m happy to be here.” With you.
“Doesn’t seem like the city would have a lot of interesting photography jobs. You doing okay?”
Christ, she’s worried about me. If that’s not the sweetest thing, I don’t know what is.
“I’m sort of between jobs right now, but I’m getting by.” I don’t want to lie to her, but I like her thinking of us as equals. Her sister told me she could get skittish about men with money, scars her father left on her.
“Oh, that makes sense as to why you’re staying at the same apartment place. I mean it’s not nice, I admit it, but it’s cheap and safe. Those two don’t always go together.”
I steal a quick glance in her direction. “Someone making you feel unsafe.”
“Not right now, no.” She gives me a reassuring smile. “But I’ve stayed in some sketchy places before I found this one. It’s not fancy and the landlord is slow but the locks work and that’s all I can ask for.”
The back of my teeth are going to get ground down into nothing from all the times I clench my jaw to keep the words I want to say inside. She deserves so much more—a better place to live, a better place to work, a better family, and I’m just the man to deliver.
Fourteen
Dove
“You really took all these?” I’m in awe of his work. They aren't simple snaps from the camera. He makes you feel like you’re standing right there seeing what he is. The images are so breathtaking that a few even make my eyes sting with tears.
“You really have been all around the world.” I don’t understand how the man isn't famous. I’ve never seen someone better with a camera than him. I don’t know much about photography, but there is no mistaking his talent. Each one of his photos evoke some sort of emotion from me.
“They are all mine.” I think I see his cheeks turn a shade pinker. He cares what I think. I find it sexy that my opinion means so much to him.
“They are exquisite. I couldn't imagine doing what I love to do and making a living from it.” I flip to the next page, trying to take in every detail. It amazes me how much you don’t see in a moment. Jay’s photos make you appreciate those tiny details. Each of Jay’s shots capture something that you wouldn’t normally catch with a quick glance. His eye for detail is incredible.
“You're the exquisite one.” I shake my head.
“Soon and very soon I’ll prove that to you.” He pulls up to a beautiful building. I almost feel a little underdressed for such a place in my gold flats and sundress. I watch as two men walk out in suits and proceed to get into cars that cost more than most homes.
“Is this where we’re going?” I fiddle with the trim of my dress that rests on my legs.
“It is. They think I might be able to get some pictures from here to help me catch the essence of the city from as many angles as possible. Once I scope it out, we’ll get some dinner.”
“Mixing business with pleasure, I see,” I tease him. I get out of the car on my own, which always gets me an unhappy look from him. I don’t think Jay is aware that when he’s irritated he looks lonely. He snags my hand, and I let him. His touch calms me.
I guess this is us taking it slow. Why did I agree to this slow thing again? Oh, that’s right, because I was afraid that I might get my heart broken. If Jay decided to leave right now I think it would still be broken. Not all the way, but a crack would surely be left. I think I might have been lying to myself when I said I wanted to take it slow.
A doorman opens one of the clear glass doors for us. He greets Jay by name. Handing him a pair of keys, I notice Jay let go of my hand to wrap his arm around me and pull me tighter against him.
“They know you here already?”
“They knew I’d be by to see the space they wanted
to lend to me.” He guides me toward the elevator. It’s off on its own and marked private at the top. This place is very fancy and modern too. Nothing like where we live.
“It says private.” I point up at the sign, making sure that we are going the right way.
“It is.” The doors slide open, and Jay swipes a key on the keypad in order for the elevator to move. It’s as if we’re in one of those super fancy hotels. It must be fast because we are on the top floor at the moment. The doors open right into the penthouse.
“Are you sure someone doesn't already live here?” The whole place is already furnished and decorated. It reminds me a little of my own home. Not in how fancy and top of the line it is but more in the sense of how it is decorated. The style is very close to what I would imagine I would pick if I was to decorate it.
“Yep. They are leasing the place out right now. They offered it to me.” I frown. The thought that he won’t be living next door anymore doesn’t sit well with me. A pang in my chest starts to throb. “Watch this.” He pushes a button, causing the curtains to slide open from one end of the room to another. I walk over to the window. The view practically takes my breath away. Up here the city looks totally different than it does from below. I can see why they wanted Jay to capture this part of it.
“You really can see everything from up here.” Jay comes to stand next to me, looking out the window. “I haven’t even shown you the garden and giant patio yet.”
I let out a laugh and smack his shoulder. “Stop with all the bragging.”
He grabs me, pressing me against the glass window. “I’m not bragging. I want you to come stay here with me. I’m trying to make you fall in love with it.”
I’m finding with Jay around it’s not hard to fall in love with a lot of things. “You want me to stay in this giant place with you all alone?” Wow. That's a hell of an offer. It wouldn't be impossible. I could keep working and paying my rent. Hell, my other bills will probably go down too if I'm not there using the electricity and water. His offer is very tempting, but it almost sounds too good to be true.