“Come outside and I will show you exactly what. You’re going to love it.” He waved his hands, taunting her to follow him.
“Jake, it’s the middle of March. I’m not going outside,” she demanded, thinking he was a crazy person. A very sexy, crazy person.
“Come on, you can have my jacket,” he said, shrugging his arms out of his black coat and wrapping it around her shoulders. “Now come on.” He grabbed her hands, tugging her until she caught up with him.
And he was right. She loved it. White crystal snowdrops were gathering on the ground, blanketing the concrete beneath them.
“Oh wow. It’s snowing,” she breathed in disbelief.
The sparkling stars decorated the night, shining down on them both.
“I love the stars,” she whispered as he wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her closer. He trailed loving kisses down the soft skin of her neck and onto her shoulder.
“You know if anything ever happens to me?”
“Jess,” Jake begged.
“No. I am serious. Not just this cancer. If anything were to happen. Tell Jay that I am a star in the sky, always watching over him. Promise?”
“I promise, but you are not going anywhere.”
“Just in case,” she murmured.
“Just in case,” he agreed.
“Jake?”
“Uh-huh?”
“I know we have a room here at the hotel, but let’s go home tonight.”
“If that’s what you want. I’d prefer to go home too. I’m missing my little man and I can tell you’re not feeling the best.”
“I’m fine,” she pressed, leaning her head back on his shoulder. The snow was still falling on them both, but neither cared.
She turned around to face him, feeling her chest rise and fall frantically.
“Take me home now, Jake,” she almost begged as the tears glistened in her eyes.
“Okay, sweetheart,” he agreed, concerned with the look in her eyes. She looked sick. He could see it, but it didn’t differ from how she had been looking since she started the treatment. The makeup was fading now. The dark circles around her eyes were more prominent, and her lips were pale.
So, he did as she asked, and he took her home to where she belonged.
“What are you two doing back here?” Rose woke from sleeping on the sofa. Jake noticed the baby monitor by her side.
“You can go home, Mom. Dad must miss you.” Jessica kissed her mother’s cheek.
“I would like my own bed tonight, honey. But I hope you didn’t come back here because of me. Jay has been a little angel.”
“No, I wanted my bed too.”
Jessica gathered her mother’s coat and helped her as she slipped her arms through the sleeves.
“I love you,” she told her before they both waved her off from the door and watched her drive away.
Grabbing her dress in her hands so she would not trip, Jessica slowly made her way up the stairs with Jake following close behind.
“Will you unzip this at the back?”
“Sure,” he said, stepping behind her, crawling the delicate zip down her back, uncovering the pale, unflawed bare skin. He kissed the nape of her neck again and let his fingers crawl down her arms. She gasped quietly, indulging in his scent, his movement, his feel, but surprisingly, even to herself, she pulled away.
“Before any of that.” She smiled evilly. “I’m going to check on Jay. Go get changed,” she ordered before she stepped into a black satin nightdress.
Damn that woman! She drove him crazy.
Instead of changing, he quickly threw cold water on his face and followed her into the nursery, but she was already fast asleep with Jay snoring quietly over her shoulder.
Carefully, Jake picked him up, kissed his soft cheek, and placed him back in his crib before doing the same with Jess. She looked exhausted as he laid her delicately on the bed. The height of the day, along with the severe treatments, had taken a toll on her. He covered her and kissed her gently, but just as he went to walk away, she grabbed his hand. Her eyes were still closed.
“I don’t care if you are fully dressed, naked, or in a banana suit. Just get your ass into bed with me.” Her laugh was hoarse and weak.
“Of course,” he obliged, throwing off his shoes and cuddling up next to her so that she was lying comfortably in his arms.
She tilted her head up to lock her eyes with his and then she kissed him; kissing him as he had never been kissed before in his life. Every feeling she ever had came pouring out of her soul and into him with one touch of her body against his.
He moaned as she did the impossible. She deepened the kiss, exploring every inch of him until he was left totally defenseless and both of their breathing frantic.
She pulled away and leaned her head on his chest.
“I love you,” was the last thing she said before she dozed off into the darkness of her sleep.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jake woke to the bright beam of light escaping through his window. The smell of Jessica’s auburn hair, which was enriched with some sort of coconut, awakened his senses.
“Rise and shine, Mrs. Williams.” He nudged her and smothered his lips in her curls.
Wow, it felt good to say that.
Memories of her elegance and how she took her steps towards him in the church the day before. She was simply breath-taking. He had promised himself he would not cry, but seeing her and remembering all she fought so hard for, the tears streamed with no consideration of his promises.
To him, every day she was beautiful, but quite frankly, he had never seen anything so perfect as Jess as a bride. She had stolen his breath, his heart, and even his mind.
She was his.
Forever.
“Sweetheart, wake up!” He hugged her closer.
She really was a nightmare in the mornings.
Staying still as he could, he smoothed his hand over the silk of her nightdress. Still no movement. Not even for her breath.
But when he didn’t feel her exhale on his skin, he shook her.
“Jess, wake up,” he panicked.
He turned her on her back so that he was hovering over her lifeless body in a desperate attempt for her to open her eyes.
“Jess, baby, you have to wake up.”
He touched her pale skin. She was still warm when he caressed her cheeks with his fingertips.
“Jess?”
She couldn’t leave him.
Not now.
But she wasn’t moving. She wasn’t breathing either, and her body hung limp. He leaned his forehead against hers, not feeling any breath on his face.
She should be opening her eyes.
“Beautiful?” He whispered, but something tugging at his heart told him this was a sleep he would not be able to wake her from.
Chapter Thirty-Three
6 years later…
Jake sat in his car outside of the old school building, remembering everything about the short time he had with his beautiful wife.
She knew in her heart that that night was going to be her last with him. Her words replayed repeatedly in his head. “I wanted to go home and be with you and Jay. I wanted to wrap up in your arms and tell you how much I loved you. I wanted to kiss you so hard you would never forget it.”
Secretly, she was telling him, trying to get it through to him, that she knew in her soul it was going to be her last night. She didn’t want to die in a hotel suite. She wanted to be at home with him and her son, just like she had said.
She may not have been with him anymore, but he could still feel her, and every now and again her scent would fill his senses, and he knew she was there.
Jessica Connors was someone he would never let go, never forget, and always love.
The sound of screaming children running out of the school building like a herd of elephants interrupted his thoughts. He quickly stepped out of the car, crossed the road to the other side of the street, and sat on the wall, waiting
for what was now his life to appear.
With a small backpack bobbling on his back, his coat was swinging from his arms and his auburn hair rustled and messy as he played with another little boy. The minute he spotted Jake he ran to him, excitement and joy, like he was running to his favourite toy.
“Hey, kiddo.” Jake messed his hair even more by running his fingers through it.
“Hey, Dad.” He looked up at him with bright blue eyes.
Jake swore he was getting more like her every single day.
“Why is that coat not on you? I bought it to keep you warm, not for you to hold it.”
“I was too hot,” Jay complained, grunting.
“Come on, kiddo, put it on.” Jake took the coat from his small hands, letting him shrug his arms into it. Jake ignored the loud sigh and the clicking of his son’s tongue against the roof of his mouth.
“You’ve forgotten something,” Jay reminded him, smiling up at him with a mischievous grin.
“No, I haven’t. I only came to get my son.” Jake stopped, glancing behind him, playing dumb.
“You forgot to say something to me. It’s one of those days when you have to get a super present.”
“Well.” Jake thought. “It’s not Christmas yet. I wonder why I would have to buy you a super present.”
“It’s my birthday, Dad. I’m six today.”
“It is?”
Jay looked so helpless as he stared up at his father’s strong frame.
“Well, of course, it is.”
Jake leaned over to tickle him before swooping him up onto his shoulders.
“I think you forgot that I already wished you a happy birthday this morning.”
“Yeah, I know,” Jay droned, giggling as he wrapped his arms around Jake’s neck.
“So, you’re six today. Let me feel those muscles.” Jake held a tight grip on his son’s upper arm. “Whoa, before you know it, you will carry me on your shoulders.”
“What? No way, Dad. You are too big and strong.”
Carefully, Jake lowered him from his shoulders and strapped him into the back seat of the car.
“Where are we going?” he asked as Jake drove off.
“You’ll see.”
Kids, Jake thought, they are full of questions.
“Grandma and Grandpa’s house.” Jay looked mystified as they pulled up outside the blue-painted house. Jake could imagine the chaos from inside, everyone trying to gather around in one large huddle.
“Happy Birthday,” they shouted out in unison as they both stepped inside. The entire family, including his father, was standing in the living room with some of Jay’s friends.
“This is so cool.” Jay swallowed, but his cheeks flushed a pale red.
Something his mother would have done if she were in the same position, Jake thought to himself.
“Happy birthday, sweetie.” Rose bent down to kiss her grandson on the cheek.
“Thanks, Grandma.” He smiled, his musical voice resonating around the room.
Every other person in the room followed the kisses and hugs, smothering him with affection and love.
“Thanks, Dad,” he said as Jake lowered down to his knees to kiss his son; the son that resembled Jess so much it hurt. But it hurt in a good way. It reminded him of how amazing and how selfless she was to leave behind such a beautiful little boy. “I love you, Dad.”
Jake swallowed the bitter-sweet lump growing in his throat.
“No problem, kiddo. I love you too. Now go on and play with your friends for a bit. You can open your presents later.”
Jay didn’t need to be told twice; he was gone like the wind.
Then the screams came. The endless screams of eight children. Wasn’t that just fantastic?
“Hey, Jake.” April kissed his cheek.
“Where is this new boyfriend of yours so I can beat him up?”
“Shut up, Jake.” She flushed. “He couldn’t make it today.”
“Lucky bloke.”
“I agree. No guy messes with my little sister.” Pete threw an arm around April’s shoulders. “We’d have to slap him around a bit. It’s a welcoming gift.”
“What are you talking about, Pete? You married Sharon and got her knocked up,” Jake teased his brother-in-law, nodding his head in fake disbelief.
Sharon growled as she plopped herself on the sofa, positioning her Denim dungarees around her large bump.
“Shut up. Don’t be an asshole.”
“Sharon, are you still pregnant? You can’t keep it in there forever.”
“Please don’t remind me, Jake. I’m already in enough pain as it is,” she begged breathlessly.
Jake sat down beside her and patted her thigh.
“When are you due?”
“Last week,” she answered, frustration boiling in her voice.
Poor Pete, he thought. He couldn’t deal with Sharon on a good day. A pregnant day must have been hell.
But he could see she wanted her best friend with her to hold her hand and laugh at her when she was getting out of control.
“You’ll be just fine. Don’t forget to call when it finally arrives.”
“I won’t.” She smiled.
Later that evening, when the children had left, everyone gathered around the table in the dining room, reminiscing and remembering those who should have been there. It was only then that Jake had noticed the rest of the house was painfully quiet.
He excused himself, leaving to go find his son.
The darkness was creeping in around them, and only the small lamp illuminated the hallway. That was where he found him, standing there, staring up at a large picture frame on the wall.
His heart sank.
It was a photo of his and Jess’s wedding.
“What are you doing?”
“Looking at Mom.”
Jake lifted him into his arms so that he could get a better view.
“Wasn’t she beautiful?”
“Yeah.” Jay nodded, a somber look in his blue eyes. “Why isn’t she here anymore?”
Jay had asked that question a million times before.
“She got sick. God needed a new helper, so she had to leave.”
“But everyone else has a Mom and I don’t.”
Jake swallowed hard, wiping away the tears that were threatening to fall.
Poor kid, he thought, none of this was fair on him.
Jake knew what it was like to lose his mother, but at least he got the chance to get to know her first.
“I need to bring you out to the backyard, okay?”
“Why?” Jay quizzed, staring at his father’s glazed brown eyes.
“Because I need to show you something.”
Jake set him on his feet as they reached outside and sat on the cold step beneath them.
“Your mother loved you very much,” Jake began to explain. “And she was so proud of you. She still is.”
“What do you mean, still?”
“Even though she had to leave, she is still here with us.”
“Where?” Jay furrowed his eyebrows, wrinkling his nose in confusion.
“Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see the stars,” he answered, straining his tiny neck.
“Your Mom is up there.”
“Mom is a star?” His voice rose with excitement.
“Uh-huh.” Jake nodded. “But not just any star. I want you to find the brightest star.”
Jay spun around a few times, searching the darkness of the night sky until he came to a sudden halt and pointed straight above him.
“There!”
“That’s her. She is the brightest star up there.”
“Whoa. That is cool.” His eyes widened as he sat himself down next to Jake, not once taking his eyes from the star above him.
“So, anytime you think of her, or anytime you want to talk to her; you might just want to know she is there. Look out the window or go outside and look for the brightest star you can fin
d, because that is where she is, and she is always going to be looking down on you.” Jake stroked his hand over his son’s back.
“I can call her Twinkle Star like the song,” Jay suggested proudly.
“Yes, you can,” Jake laughed.
“I love you, Mom,” Jay announced, loud enough for the whole house to hear.
Jake stared up at the sky then and found the brightest star he could. “I love you, Jess,” he breathed.
But he didn’t need the sparkle of a star to tell him just how much.
“On the count of three, we are going to blow her a kiss, okay?”
“Okay,” Jay agreed, his hand already over his mouth.
“One. Two. Three.”
And they both blew her the most loving kiss they could muster.
Jake chuckled under his breath because something inside was telling him that she was up there smiling, catching their kisses, and keeping them very close to her heart.
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BOOK TWO IN THE WHAT WILL BE BOOK SERIES
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Books In This Series
What Will Be Book Series
Follow three stories of love, loss, and second chances.
Watch Over My Life
Watch Over My Life and Losing Love are both standalone books in the What Will Be Book Series and can be read in any order, but it is recommended that you read both before the release of the third book in 2022
Jessica Connors has her life figured out - successful career, independent woman, and hiding a life-threatening illness.
Watch Over My Life: Emotional Love Story (What Will Be Book Series) Page 24