Why hadn’t he?
Not the kind of question you can ask without confusing the kid. Keep it about sex. Set his standards high. He’ll be better for it.
A bit arrogant to think he’d have that kind of impact, but he honestly hoped he would. Braxton was a good guy. He deserved to be happy.
No harm in letting him rest a bit before enjoying the bit of time they had left, though. Ryan left the room quietly, taking a quick shower before heading to the kitchen in his thick black robe to grab a beer. He’d gone to the club not expecting to have more than one drink, since he’d driven there, but now that he was home and overthinking absolutely everything, he could afford to mellow out.
He was just starting to feel the pleasant buzz as he polished off one beer and opened another when Braxton padded into the room. Completely naked.
Ryan’s lips curved. Not only was Braxton fucking nice too look at, but if he had been Ryan’s submissive, this was how he’d be every time they were alone. That he’d come by the urge naturally messed with Ryan’s determination to remain detached.
“Sorry for passing out on you. I didn’t mean to waste the whole night sleeping.” Braxton rested his hip against the edge of the table, close enough for Ryan to grab him, without being so close he demanded attention. His expression was soft, as though he was still half-asleep. “Do you mind if I have one?”
Inclining his head and motioning to the fridge, Ryan kept his eyes on Braxton as he made his way over, the muscles in his tight, round ass making Ryan’s mouth water. It took all his strength to remain in his seat when all he had to do was take two long strides across the room, pin Braxton against the closest hard surface, and slide his already fully recovered dick into that snug heat.
Instead, he waited for Braxton to pull out the only other chair at the small, round oak table and lifted his bottle in silent cheers. “No need to be sorry, I intended to wear you out.” His lips slid into a smug smile as pink stained Braxton’s cheeks. “I’m pleased that I succeeded.”
“You should be. Usually takes at least a few shifts on the ice before I’m ready to slow down.” Braxton took a long gulp of beer, then ducked his head. “As for sex, I’ve never been…well, after I’m just restless. I like knowing the girl enjoyed herself, but I feel bad pretending I did too.”
“Then stop.” All right, that was enough beer. Ryan wouldn’t help the young man by pretending things were that simple. But he couldn’t help being frustrated at what Braxton was telling him. “I understand that you have an image to uphold, but does that really need to involve using women as some kind of front? They deserve better and so do you.”
Nodding slowly, Braxton stared at his bottle. “I know, but I thought…” He sighed. “I have this friend and we’ve fooled around with some girls together. And I enjoy myself a lot when he’s there. I figured if I kept doing that, it would be okay.”
“But it hasn’t been.”
“No. He just thinks I like it and doesn’t know I was into him and after tonight I’m thinking…it wasn’t about him at all.” Lifting his shoulders, Braxton wet his lips with his tongue and met Ryan’s eyes. “Not that I wasn’t attracted to him, I totally was. But he was safe and I could pretend I didn’t want more.”
“Now you know you do.” Ryan reached out and took hold of Braxton’s wrist, stroking along his pulse. “That’s good. And I hope you remember that.”
Lips curving slightly, Braxton shrugged again. “After my nap, the memory is a bit fuzzy.”
Ryan spat out a laugh. Fuck, this was fun. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had this much fun talking to someone when there was sex involved.
He tugged at Braxton’s wrist until the young man stood, then pulled him into his lap. With Braxton straddling him it was easier to focus on the moment and toss aside the idea of stealing more time. He couldn’t afford to let the man get attached. He was already slipping himself and that would lead nowhere good.
Thankfully, Braxton being a brat gave him the perfect excuse to shift the topic back to why he was here. With the weight of the young man on his thighs, he let his hands curve around that sweet ass he still hadn’t gotten enough of.
“Your memory is fuzzy, is it?” Ryan slid his fingers between Braxton’s cheeks, then pressed them to the hole that was still slick from all the lube he’d used. He pressed two fingers in, curving them as Braxton let out a throaty moan. “Does this help?”
Braxton shuddered, his hot dick pressing against Ryan’s stomach through the part in his robe. “It really does.”
“Good. But I don’t like to waste things. Finish your beer.” Ryan eased his fingers languorously in and out, pleased that Braxton didn’t question him and shakily brought his beer to his lips. This wasn’t about getting the man drunk, he hadn’t had enough to feel more than relaxed. But he’d learn not to rush the moment. “You’re not pretending for anyone now. You’re simply here for me to play with. And I want to fuck you again.”
“Yes please.” Braxton rested his head on Ryan’s shoulder, breathing hard. “Do you want me to ride your dick, because I can do that. I want to.”
The sweet way he asked shredded the last bit of control Ryan had. His dick throbbed as he imagined how fucking good it would be to just give in and fill that sweet ass, but he wasn’t so far gone he forgot using protection.
Between his regular blood tests and the ones Braxton likely had as a pro athlete, it likely wasn’t needed, but that wasn’t an example he wanted to set. Not when he had no intention of keeping the young man.
Damn it.
“Go to my room and grab some condoms.” Ryan’s breaths came a little easier when Braxton pushed away from him and hurried off. They were on the same page.
He just had to stick to the plan. Fuck and forget. It shouldn’t be this difficult.
But when Braxton returned, kneeling between his thighs and giving him a look that might as well have been him asking ‘May I, Sir?’, it got harder to simply nod. To not see exactly what he was letting go by limiting this to one night.
Condom covering his dick, Ryan drew Braxton up over him, hands on Braxton’s thighs as the young man positioned himself and eased down. He’d added more lube, making Ryan’s dick slide into him faster than he’d intended, but when Braxton began to move, all he could do was lose himself in the other man’s body.
“Fuck, that’s nice.” He wrapped his arms around Braxton’s waist when he tried to find a fast rhythm. “But slow down. Let me enjoy you.”
“Are you?” Braxton’s voice hitched as he caught his breath and brought his lips to Ryan’s. “Because I want everything. You’re giving me one night and it won’t be enough.”
Curving his hand around the back of Braxton’s neck, he held the younger man’s gaze. “It will be.” He lifted Braxton by the hips and thrust up into him. “Stay with me. Right here. Feel what I’m doing to you. Take what I’m willing to give.”
The position was too intimate. He kissed Braxton again, saw the tenderness in his eyes, and knew he had to regain control before he did real damage. Pleasure was one thing. He could give Braxton that. But he was crossing into dangerous territory.
Shoving his chair back he rose, still inside Braxton, and laid him over the table. He curved one hand around the nape of Braxton’s neck and held him down as he fucked him, using his free hand to jerk Braxton off. He came as Braxton did, giving in to the pulsing grip around his dick.
Drawing away, he resisted the urge to hold Braxton, simply supporting him with a hand under his elbow until Braxton slumped into his seat. This had to be it. The way Braxton had spoken when Ryan had been deep inside him proved how bad the young man was at separating his emotions from sex. Which didn’t have to be a bad thing.
Except with Ryan.
Still, he couldn’t send Braxton home yet. He laughed when Braxton gave him a sleepy smile and brought the man back to his bed. Fucked him one last time when they were both half asleep because he couldn’t resist. Let himself cherish the final m
oments when Braxton got up before him and fixed a horrible cup of coffee. He even choked down every last sip.
Then he got dressed and made the excuse that he had to get to work. Which he didn’t. He wouldn’t have been at the club if he had to work today.
But he knew his limits. And he’d reached them.
Thankfully, Braxton didn’t argue when he offered to drive him home. Didn’t say a word until they were there.
By that time, Ryan had accepted this would be the last time they ever spoke.
But he’d never forget that smile. And couldn’t help wish he didn’t have to.
“Thanks for the ride.” Braxton walked around the car to the driver’s side, chewing on his bottom lip. He didn’t want this to be over. He liked Ryan. A lot. And not just because the sex had been amazing.
He liked talking to Ryan. He liked the way Ryan took over and made him feel comfortable in his own skin. Every inch of his body smelled like the man, like he’d left his mark, and he couldn’t let that go.
“I should’ve called you a cab.” Ryan’s tone was distant, and he wouldn’t meet Braxton’s eyes. He’d meant it when he said tonight was a one-time thing.
But he was wrong.
It wasn’t meant to be. Maybe Ryan thought he was too young. Too inexperienced. He was a cop, so he was probably worried about shit Braxton hadn’t thought of yet, but they could work on that.
He leaned in, stealing a quick kiss and smiling against Ryan’s lips. “I’ll call you.”
“Sure.” Ryan looked away. “Take care, Braxton. Remember what I said.”
“I will.” Braxton stepped away from the curb. Sighed as Ryan pulled out and drove away. He wasn’t good at this. He had no idea what to do next. But he’d figure it out.
Ryan didn’t want to forget him, but he had this whole idea of how things should go. An awesome night. Nothing complicated. Just memories.
Could he stick to that if they saw one another again?
Braxton didn’t know. But he would damn well find out.
Only one problem.
He didn’t have Ryan’s number. And calling 911 to get it probably wouldn’t go over well. He didn’t want to push too hard, but he already knew Ryan would be impossible to forget.
Maybe Ryan could forget him easily, but he doubted it. He smiled as he quietly let himself into the apartment he shared with a teammate. He couldn’t share what had happened last night with anyone, but it stuck with him as he took a shower, then crawled into bed. As he dreamt of Ryan holding him, even though he wasn’t sure the man had actually done it.
Didn’t matter. There would be a next time. There had to be.
He had to believe the next time Ryan saw him, he’d want more. He’d admit they had something worth exploring. First, he had to make sure there’d be a next time.
But he wasn’t too worried. He’d find a way. He hadn’t become a professional hockey player by letting opportunities slip away. And he knew an opportunity when he saw it.
This definitely fit.
Chapter 4
Two weeks and Braxton still hadn’t figured out how to get in touch with Ryan. He’d stopped by the club, ignoring all the other men who hit on him and tried to watch the dancers on stage rather than the doors, but that got him nowhere. Terry brought him drinks and kept the creepy dudes that hung around back, giving Braxton this pitying look before making small talk.
For the first night anyway.
On the second night, near closing time, he finally pulled out the stool next to Braxton and sat down, facing him. “Honey, I hate seeing you waiting on that man. And I say that as his friend. He’s on a big case right now, so he won’t be back for a while, but you need to know that when he does start coming again, he’s not going to give you what you want.”
Braxton frowned down at his glass full of ice, avoiding Terry’s concerned gaze. “You have no idea what I want.”
“It’s more than sex or you’d notice the hot guys I keep sending your way.” Terry let out an irritated huff when Braxton laughed. “It’s not funny. You’re a sweet kid—yes, I know you’re not a child.” He rolled his eyes at Braxton’s glare. “But you are young. And you’re infatuated with Ryan. This will only end in heartache.”
Even knowing Terry for just a short time, Braxton had gotten used to how dramatic he was about everything. But he didn’t have many friends outside of the team and he considered the flamboyant server one of them. There was no reason to have the guy worrying for nothing.
As the lights in the almost empty club came on, he reached out and patted Terry’s hand. “I hear you, I promise. And I’m going on the road starting tomorrow, so I won’t have time to obsess over Ryan. Not that I really have been, I just…there was something between us.”
Terry’s lips slanted. “He fucked you good and now you’re stuck pretending you’re into girls again.” Terry let out a heavy sigh. “I’ve seen the pictures of you with all those gorgeous models. You put on a good act, I’ll give you that.”
“I have to.”
“Maybe you don’t, but you’re not ready to come out publicly yet and I get that. This is where you come when you’re tired of hiding who you are.” Terry stood as Braxton did, walking with him to the door where his husband was letting out the last of the club’s patrons. “And you’re more than welcome. But you should consider that Ryan represents a kind of freedom you’ve never felt before, like this place does. You can have that anywhere, Braxton. With anyone.”
Braxton hesitated, then shook his head. “I don’t think I can.”
“Have you tried?”
Those words stuck with Braxton long after he got home, lying in bed and trying to get enough sleep so he’d be up to the tough road trip coming up. Things had been weird in the locker room lately, what with the rookies who’d been brought up to replace three suspended players. He did his best to avoid those guys, but they were obnoxious, homophobic assholes and he couldn’t stop tensing up whenever they walked into a room.
Part of him wondered if they could see the difference in him since he’d been with Ryan. They constantly joked about him being a pretty boy and liking cock, even though he’d been spending more time with the puck bunnies Hunt always seemed to find at a moment’s notice. Which happened more and more often, almost as though Hunt had noticed something too and was trying to protect him.
Nothing had really changed, but he still felt like he had ‘queer’ written on his forehead. Even his agent had gotten more uptight about him being single and asked if there was a girl he could spend time with—or at least get a few photos with so people might assume they were together.
So no, Braxton hadn’t tried being with another guy. How could he?
Wanting to be with Ryan isn’t from a lack of options.
Or...was it?
The next afternoon he struggled to focus as he hit the ice with the rest of the team for practice. In the locker room, he hurried to shower and change, ignoring the rookie, Spooner, who dropped a bar of soap in front of him, whispering ‘You’re welcome’ when Braxton bent down to pick it up.
Team policy against discrimination would have the rookie taking another round of sensitivity training if Braxton reported him, but he couldn’t draw that kind of attention to himself. If he complained, Coach would wonder why he was taking the little jabs so personally. His contract was up at the end of the season and the only way he’d get signed to a longer one is if he didn’t make waves and proved he was an asset to the team.
Sucked not being able to talk to anyone about it though. When the guys caught the rookies talking shit, they stuck up for him, but they couldn’t be there all the time. As much as some tried—Hunt most of all—he had to deal with the fuckers on his own.
Mostly by ignoring them and hoping they got bored.
Speaking of which, he needed to get the hell out of the locker room. Fully dressed, he’d sat there thinking for so long the team had cleared out. Except for the rookies.
He grabbed his sports bag and
started for the door. Spooner stood, blocking his path.
The door opened and Tyler Vanek, whose suspension was finally over, gave Spooner a cold look until he got out of Braxton’s way. Dismissing the rookie, Vanek grinned at Braxton. “Hey, Richards! Saw you on the ice the other night fucking killing it! You were playing with Zovko and some rando who couldn’t pass for shit, but I was impressed. Hopefully Coach starts giving you more playing time.”
Spooner’s face reddened. He shot Braxton a glare that promised revenge, but seriously, what could he do when he’d be sent back down to the minors starting tomorrow? Braxton ignored him and followed Vanek out to the player’s lounge.
“We lost, but thanks anyway. It’ll be good to have you back.”
“Don’t I know it.” Vanek walked with him through the parking garage exit, letting out a low whistle when Braxton pulled out his keys and pressed the remote starter for his car. “Holy shit, kid. Nice ride!”
Braxton’s cheeks heated and he shrugged as Vanek circled his new, gunmetal black Zenvo ST1, clear admiration in his eyes. The same expression Braxton probably had when he’d been checking out cars and the owner of the shop had brought him to look at this one.
“I can’t really afford this.” Braxton brushed his fingers along the hood of the car, voice barely above a whisper. “But…”
“You’re a professional hockey player who’ll be getting a big contract next year. I’m sure you’ll manage.”
Can I? Braxton swallowed hard. He didn’t pay much in rent, sharing a small condo with another player who owned the place. He’d tried saving up a bit, but his agent was always on his back about wearing nice, expensive suits and ‘looking the part’.
Maybe a car like this would get the man off his case.
Neutral Zone Trap: The Dartmouth Cobras ~ An Off Ice Novel Page 4