Carter sucked in a breath. “I’m heating up, sweetheart, that’s for sure. Let’s not take too long with that.”
“Oh, sorry.” But she didn’t look all that sorry as she slowly covered the rest of him with more long strokes.
He gritted his teeth. “I want to be inside you before I explode.”
Once she’d taken care of the task, she leaned over to kiss him. When their lips met, Carter put his arms around her and flipped her onto her back. He couldn’t wait much longer to be inside her, and he wanted to make sure she was ready. He slipped two fingers in and found her more than ready.
“All set, sweetheart?”
“Yes.” She opened for him, and he slid unerringly into her welcoming heat.
So hot. So tight. Carter moaned as he filled her.
Katie lifted her hands to his face. Her slow smile made his heart light. “Carter…”
He threaded his fingers with hers and leaned over her, stretching their hands above her head. Her head was thrown back, her eyes closed. He took her for an easy ride, trying again to make the moment last. Make it special. Make the moment meaningful.
He’d never worried about meaningful sex before.
“Katie Kat.”
She opened her eyes, locked her gaze with his. Intense. So intimate it gave him a punch in the chest. She tightened her fingers on his and shifted her hips just enough to make him trade that easy ride for one that was hard and frantic. She met him thrust for thrust, and all too soon he shot over the edge. Carter called out her name as his body rocketed, exploding with the orgasm. Katie wrapped her legs around his hips as he came. When he’d settled back down to earth, he stretched over her, skin to skin, and took her lips again.
Unexpected emotions flowed through him, too many to even focus on in the wake of what they’d just shared. More than he’d ever felt before. Anticipation. Joy. Surprise. And something else…but he couldn’t find the word.
Affection, that’s what it was. Tender affection for a really good friend.
That’s all it was.
Chapter Ten
How could Carter have had sex with those other women and not feel all these overwhelming emotions? Katie couldn’t imagine how he could have left them all, left any of them, if he’d felt a fraction of the emotions she experienced at that moment.
After giving her the most amazing sex of her life, he’d gathered her close. Her head rested on his shoulders, his arms slung around her while he brushed his lips along the top of her head. He’d made the right moves, said the right things. But had he just had routine sex with her, enjoyed the physical, and not felt any emotions? Was that all sex was for him?
Carter dropped a kiss on the tip of Katie’s nose, then left the bed to dispose of the condom. She watched him walk away, admiring his tight buns and talented hands, and yearned to touch him again. That probably wouldn’t be a good idea. If he was only pretending, she couldn’t let it ever happen again. She couldn’t stand to know she was only one of many women to him.
He’d played the field for years, had sex with a lot of different women. He’d told her about many of them. He’d walked away from all of them. He let them all go, so he obviously hadn’t felt any emotions for them. At least not enough. How could you lie skin to skin with someone and not feel anything? How could your lips touch, your breath mingle, your bodies become one, and not feel the connection?
Maybe she wasn’t going to be able to be the kind of person who could enjoy flings and one-night stands. Her heart was too full of feelings now. She wanted to curl up with Carter and fall asleep to the sound of his breathing. She wanted to wake up cradled in his arms.
What the hell was wrong with her? She didn’t want these feelings. They were confusing her. Tempting her. She had to pull back. This was her time, and she wasn’t going to get tangled up with another man. Didn’t want to lose the time she finally had for herself in order to cater to someone else. She’d done that for long enough, first with Tim and then with Sean. And she certainly didn’t want to be like her mother, grabbing onto a man, any man, because she couldn’t bear the thought of being alone.
Katie didn’t mind being alone. She’d be happy to continue sharing coffee with Carter after work like they’d done for a long time now. She didn’t need him, or any other man, distracting her from the things she wanted to accomplish.
Carter strode back into the bedroom, and all her contrary thoughts whooshed from her mind. Her heart began to thud, and all the emotions came flooding back. He slid back into bed with her, and she found her head on his shoulder again. The musky scent of male and sex tempted her to stay right there. There wasn’t any reason she couldn’t snuggle with him a little longer. One cuddle didn’t make for a long-term relationship.
In fact, this was perfect. Perfect practice for when she hooked up with those other guys. The fun ones she’d fling with and then leave. If Carter could do it, she could do it, too.
Of course he could, he was a rebound guy. She could never forget it.
“I thought it would be awkward,” Katie murmured, her lips brushing against his bare chest.
“Sex?”
She tried to keep her tone light. “Sex with you.”
His arm tightened around her. “So was it? Awkward?”
“Not after that kiss.”
“Which kiss?”
All of them. “The one against the door. It was so hot, I forgot who I was with.” The lie burned on her tongue. “I didn’t think about you being my best friend.”
Carter shifted, and her head fell off his shoulder as he rolled on his side, looking down at her. His face was shadowed. “You forgot you were with me? What, you just closed your eyes and pretended you were having sex with some fantasy guy?”
She bolted upright, wrapped the sheet around her. The hurt in his voice sounded real. What if he actually felt all those emotions this time? What if he expected more from her? That would be even worse than him feeling nothing. “This was just practice, right?”
His face went blank. “Practice. Right.”
Katie forced herself to look him in the eye. “I’m trying to figure out how you do it. I know you can’t get too emotionally involved during sex. Otherwise, you couldn’t just fuck and leave.”
He shook his head slowly, his jaw tight. “You’re pushing me away again.”
How else could she get through this? “I’m honestly trying to figure it out. How to have a one-night stand. How to enjoy a fun fling. It all has to do with emotions, right? You can’t let them get in the way. I get it now.”
“So you think you can do it?”
She lifted her chin. “Sure. Ha. If I’m lucky, I might become a rebound gal before you know it.”
He leaned forward, loomed over her. “The hell you will.”
She shoved him back. “There goes that double standard again.”
“What if I told you I’m rebelling against being a rebound guy?”
“What? You’re going to settle down? Find a wife and have a couple of kids?”
“Yes. Maybe.”
She crossed her arms over her stomach. “Are you kidding me?” Carter was considering getting married? Having children? Now? He waited until he was forty to decide to have a family? She didn’t know where the tears came from, but she blinked them away before they fell.
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t know, Kat. It bothers me that there are people in this town who don’t think they can count on me.”
He sounded too sincere. She’d thought he was going to laugh at her. He couldn’t be serious. “So you’re going to have a family just to prove a point?”
“Of course not. Not to prove any point.”
She had to go home. This was more than her mind could comprehend. She started to get out of bed, but Carter’s arm snaked out and pulled her close to him again. “Stay. It’s late. We don’t have to solve everything tonight.”
Katie didn’t want to give in, but she let him pull her back down onto the mattress. It f
elt way too good to be wrapped up in his arms.
“It was a long day.” He reached over and turned off the soft light on the nightstand. It was too dark now to see his face at all. “We can talk more tomorrow.”
What more was there to talk about? He was pretending. She was practicing. That had been the deal from the start. If he decided he wanted a wife and kids at this stage in his life, it had nothing to do with her. She thought they’d wanted the same things, but she was wrong.
Now she had to figure out where she wanted to go from here. How to spend her me time for the rest of her life.
As Katie sank into Carter’s warmth, she promised herself she’d never stay overnight with a man after sex. She didn’t know why having a man’s arms around her, why having Carter’s arms around her, could conjure up so many emotions. Her head on his shoulder, his warm breath brushing over her cheek, his arm around her keeping her safe, all those things tempted her to stay. More than one night. More than a week or two. More than she should.
She had to start now with her vow. She’d sneak out as soon as Carter fell asleep. But she didn’t know when Carter fell asleep because she sank into oblivion a moment later.
…
Katie was gone when Carter woke up the next morning. He was disappointed but not all that surprised. He’d felt her begin to put up a wall as soon as they’d finished making love. Her scent was still there on the pillow, and for a few seconds he was twenty instead of forty, burying his face in the dip where her head had rested and breathing deeply.
He didn’t know what he should do about Katie. If he wasn’t careful, he could fall for her, and that would be a disaster. She had her reasons for not wanting to get into a serious relationship, and so did he. But for a moment there, he could almost imagine a family with Katie.
And she didn’t want that. He’d said it was because she wasn’t over Tim, but he should have known better, did know better. She wanted her freedom, and she wasn’t looking for another husband, wasn’t looking for anything that would tie her down.
Carter might want to rebel against his rebound-guy image, but how could he when it wasn’t wrong? He did have flings and one-night stands with women he had no intention of seeing long term. And over time, most of those women broke off contact with him before he had a chance to. He’d hadn’t realized at the time that those women had had no intention of seeing him long term, either.
And now Katie was already pushing him away, even after that amazing sex. Maybe because of that amazing sex. She didn’t want to even consider falling for someone, especially not him. And he couldn’t blame her. He didn’t want to see her getting hurt. He especially didn’t want to be the one to hurt her.
But that thing she said about their lovemaking only being practice for her to go out and pick up other guys? She’d been lying about that. At least, he was pretty sure she had been. He hoped to hell she had been.
Katie might have had a bit of a point about him holding double standards, but he couldn’t sit back and watch her hook up with random guys. That was a sure way for her to get hurt. They had to talk. It was his responsibility as her best friend to point out the problems with her plan. They’d have a serious discussion over coffee this afternoon.
Carter showered, dressed, and got to Colburn and Sons early. Ginny and Beckett were huddled over her tablet at the counter. “Morning.”
“Have you been online yet this morning?” Ginny asked him. She had that I-know-something-you-don’t-know look on her face.
“No. Why?” He hated to ask, but she was going to tell him anyway.
“Noah’s wedding is the big news,” Beckett answered. He read from the tablet. “‘Mayor married in secret ceremony.’”
“Everyone had their phones out. It would have been strange if there hadn’t been any pictures posted of them. And, yeah, they did keep it a secret up until the wedding.”
Ginny jumped in. “There’s a picture of you and Katie, too.”
Carter waited for the surge of anger and frustration, but it didn’t come. “Let me see.” Ginny turned her tablet his way.
“‘Looks like marriage is in the cards for another Colburn,’” he read. The picture had been taken when he and Katie were working the grills with Beckett. Katie had been teasing him with the bottles of beer, and he’d given in to the impulse to kiss her. Beckett was at the edge of the photo, looking on from the sidelines with an exasperated expression. Carter and Katie had kept hold of their bottles even while their arms were around each other. They didn’t spill a drop.
“Oh, man, he’s smiling.”
Carter elbowed his younger brother. “Stop whining.” Beck elbowed him back.
“I’d think at your age, you guys could stop acting like twelve-year-olds,” Ginny complained. There was a big part of him that knew his cousin was right, but whenever he and Beck were in the same room, it was as if reflex took over and they turned back into those kids who wrestled with each other on the living room floor and fought over their collection of action figures.
His mom joined them at the counter. “You should know my boys better than that.”
Ginny snorted. “Boys?”
“They’ll always be my boys.”
“They should be grown up enough to act like men by now.”
His mother gave Ginny that look Carter knew very well. His mom was concentrating on selecting her words carefully, the ones to tell you that you’d said something stupid but she wasn’t going to use those exact words. “Carter and Beckett act like men every single day, don’t you think? They take their responsibilities seriously, in their work, in this business, with their family and their loved ones. I enjoy seeing them act like the boys I remember once in a while. We should all be able to feel like children again. Don’t you think?”
Ginny’s face pinked. “You’re right, Aunt Donna. Guess I just see them messing around whenever they’re together.”
“You mess around, too.” Beck pointed a finger at her, and their mom, of course, frowned because apparently elbows were okay but fingers weren’t. Carter and Beck had never figured out the difference. “And you and I are only six months apart in age.”
“Okay. Sorry. You’re right.” Ginny looked like she wanted to say more, but she shut her mouth and shut off her tablet. She turned to stare at Carter and Beckett and folded her arms. Then she opened her mouth again. “So since we’re talking about taking responsibility like a man, who’s going to take the crew to Albany this week?”
Albany? Carter had almost forgotten they’d booked a salvage at a big old library in the state capital. It was five hours driving time, but they’d decided it would be worth the time, fuel, and motel costs for all the quality items they’d bring back. Noah had been scheduled to take the crew. Was that one of those few other things he’d mentioned?
Beckett huffed. “Don’t tell me, Noah forgot all about it when he decided to get married yesterday.”
“He didn’t forget,” their mother replied smoothly. “He talked to me about it before he and Anita left for Niagara Falls. I told him we’d work it out.” She drilled them both with the “mom gaze.” Yeah, they’d always be her boys.
“How long?” Carter asked. He was already stretched so thin you could probably see through him. He mentally went through the contracts he had to prepare and the appointments he had scheduled this week around the other work he was going to pick up for Noah.
“At least two full days of work,” his mom answered. “Take two box trucks down late tomorrow, get a good night’s sleep, and start first thing Thursday.”
“I can’t do it,” Beck said. “This is Holly’s first week of middle school. I have to be here for her. She’s nervous as hell.”
Carter nodded. Kids took precedence over just about anything. “I can go. I’ll clear up anything urgent at the office today.” He’d work as late as he needed to tonight. Lucy would have to reschedule everything else until next week.
His mom kissed his cheek. “I knew I could count on you.”
Carter had been afraid things might be awkward between them when he showed up at Katie’s that evening. He was exhausted but wound up at the same time. Would they talk about the sex, or would they pretend it never happened? How could they pretend it never happened? He’d texted her to let her know he was going to be late, and he found her pacing the kitchen when he arrived.
“Katie?”
She gripped her cell phone white-knuckled. “Have you heard from Sean lately?”
“No.” Carter felt a burst of sudden panic. “What happened to him? Is he all right?”
“I don’t know.” Her eyes were wide, wild. “He hasn’t answered any of my texts or my calls.”
His heart rate slowed to only twice its usual rate. “So nothing’s happened?”
“I don’t know!” Obviously, Katie’s panic still ran wild. It reminded Carter that she’d carried the weight of worries like this on her shoulders through all her years as a single mom. No wonder she wanted to be done raising kids. “He could be dead in a ditch somewhere for all I know.”
“Sit down a minute.” He popped a pod in the coffeemaker. “He’s probably busy with classes and homework and the new job. Maybe he hasn’t had a chance to charge his phone.” Not likely, but Carter had to be the one to think positive right now.
“I know. I know.” She took the cup he offered but set it down without taking a sip. “I don’t expect to hear from him every day. But I wanted to ask him how his first week went. I sent him a text this morning.” She reached for the candy dish. “I didn’t call. Not at first. I don’t want to be that mom. But he didn’t text me back. No call. Nothing. What am I supposed to think?”
Carter’s cup finished brewing, and he joined her at the table. He watched her pop some M&M’s into her mouth. He couldn’t remember ever seeing the bottom of the never-empty candy dish before today. “I talked to him on Friday, and he sounded fine.”
“You did? You actually talked to him?”
He decided to ignore the sarcasm. “To see if he was coming home for the picnic. He told me about the new job at the gym.”
The Standby Guy (Men of Lakeside) Page 12