by Ricky Black
‘Don’t get cheeky, boy. I know you were out. Where were you?’
‘I was chilling in the park,’ Lamont lied. Auntie glared at him.
‘You don’t have time to chill in the park. You have work to do.’
‘I know that. I’ll do it now.’
‘What did I just say about getting cheeky?’ Auntie shouted. Marika immediately looked at her, lip trembling. Noticing her niece’s reaction, Auntie visibly calmed down.
‘Get a dustpan and brush and sweep these floors. They’re filthy.’
Lamont flashed a smile.
‘No problem, Auntie. I’ll do it now.’ Without another word, he practically skipped from the room.
Life went on for Lamont and the team. For a while, they were paranoid over a potential beef with the Yardies Craig and Marcus had mentioned. It felt like Lamont was seeing crews and gangs everywhere, and he believed he would be the target of a retaliatory attack.
‘I keep telling you,’ Marcus said one day, as they lifted weights at a gym in Harehills. ‘There’s no problem. It’s been ages, so leave it alone. You still getting money?’
Lamont nodded.
‘Focus on that then,’ Marcus laughed to himself. ‘Still can’t believe you’re slanging though. If you wanted to make money so bad, you should have just kept working with me.’
Lamont didn’t reply until he’d completed his set on the bench. They’d been in the gym over forty minutes, and his body ached.
‘You saw how I was that one time. I’m not cut out for it,’ he said finally, recalling the disastrous robbery he’d been part of.
‘It was your first go, L. No one’s a master criminal their first time. You did as you were told and kept your nerve mostly,’ Marcus shrugged. ‘You’re doing well, so it doesn’t matter I guess. I’m hearing you’re about it. Proper natural leader.’
‘Who said that?’ Lamont was curious. No one had said anything to him. Marcus refused to continue the conversation until the session was complete.
They were home eating tinned tuna and pasta in the kitchen before Marcus revisited the subject.
‘So, yeah, I’m hearing you’ve got skills. You’re on point with the money, and you’re good at keeping things flowing. Keep it up, and you’re gonna see real money, bro.’
‘Who told you this though?’
‘I work with your people, L. I know Shorty and them lot too, you know. We talk business and your name comes up. Him and K can’t say enough good things about you.’
‘I’m glad they think so highly of me,’ Lamont noticed Levi’s name hadn’t come up. ‘It’s funny though, because they didn’t even want to work with me at first.’
‘Course not. They thought you’d fuck up their hustle. You proved them wrong, and now you’re all benefitting.’
Lamont finished his food, taking Marcus at his word. He’d never thought of himself as a leader. Levi had a more forceful personality, which was why he clashed with Shorty so much. Lamont just steered the ship. He focused on the bottom line, which was money.
‘What’s happening with Shelly?’
Lamont rolled his eyes.
‘C’mon, Marcus, not this again.’
‘Not what? Do you like her?’
‘You know I do.’
‘So, what’s stopping you?’
‘We’re just friends,’ Lamont’s reply sounded weak, even to him.
‘Well, I was there the other night, and she was asking about you.’
‘Nothing wrong with asking about a friend,’ said Lamont, though his chest tightened at those words.
‘Whatever you say, L. Step up and get it done.’
A few days later, Lamont fought to control his nerves as he approached Rochelle’s place. He looked down at his outfit, having settled for a white t-shirt, denim jeans and a high-top trainers. He could feel the warmth of the sun on his arms, glad he’d left his coat at home. Forcing himself to stand with confidence, Lamont knocked at the door, holding a carrier bag.
‘Easy, L, you okay?’ Mia looked surprised to see Lamont. She had a smile on her face though, which startled him.
‘I’m fine. Is Rochelle in?’
‘Nah, she’s out.’
Lamont’s stomach dropped.
‘Oh, okay. Could you give her this?’ Lamont held out the bag.
‘What’s in it?’ Mia didn’t move.
‘A book and a CD I thought she might like.’
Mia studied him a moment.
‘Come in.’
‘What?’
‘Come and wait for her. She went food shopping, so she won’t be long. You can stay for dinner.’
‘I . . . Is that alright?’
‘Course it is. Come on.’
Not arguing, Lamont entered the house, heading straight for the living room. He felt Mia’s eyes on him, hoping it wouldn’t become uncomfortable with Marcus’s girl.
‘Have you been going gym?’ she suddenly asked.
‘Me and Marcus go a few times a week.’
‘You can see it. Your back looks proper broad.’
‘Erm, thanks,’ Lamont said, keeping his voice light. Mia’s eyes surveyed him again, looking him up and down.
‘You’re scrawny compared to my man though.’
Just like that, they laughed, and it lifted the tension.
‘So, you like my sister then?’
‘We’re friends.’
Mia raised an eyebrow. ‘Do you buy books for all your friends?’
‘If they like to read,’ Lamont shot back.
‘Fine. If that’s the story you wanna go with, I won’t argue. Do you want something to drink?’
Later, Lamont was sitting with a glass of apple juice, when the front door opened.
‘Mia, I’m back. I swear, I need to get my licence. The taxi driver was a right pervert. Listen, they didn’t have any Red Leicester, so I—’ Rochelle stopped when she saw Lamont in the living room. ‘L?’
‘Hey, Shelly.’
‘What are you doing here?’ Rochelle stood in the doorway, holding the shopping bags. She wore a black jacket over some jeans and riding boots. Lamont rose to his feet more gracefully than he felt, taking the shopping bags from her.
‘Let me help you with those.’
‘Okay, but then you can answer my question,’ Rochelle said, leading him to the kitchen. When they’d put the shopping away, Rochelle shot him a glance.
‘So . . .’
Lamont raised his hands. ‘So what?’
‘Why are you here?’
‘I was hungry. Heard you scrubbed up a good dinner.’
‘L . . .’
Lamont grinned, jamming his hands in his pockets out of nervousness.
‘Fine. I bought something for you today. Tried leaving it with your sister, but she made me stay.’
Rochelle processed this. ‘Do you want to stay for dinner then?’
‘Yeah.’
‘When we finish, I want to see what you brought.’
Lamont helped Rochelle cook, using his vast experience from feeding Auntie. When the three of them finished, Mia left the room, giving the pair privacy. Lamont had relaxed from earlier, but some awkwardness lingered. It often seemed he was one step away from messing up whatever he had with Rochelle, and it was confusing.
Lamont wanted to be comfortable in her presence, but not too comfortable, in case he did something stupid. He’d never gone to her house without Marcus before, and was half expecting to hear his friends booming laugh and see him bounding into the living room, but he didn’t. There was no one to take the attention from Lamont.
‘Can I see this mysterious gift now?’
Lamont steadied himself and handed the bag to Rochelle.
‘Anita Baker.’ Rochelle’s eyes were a question as she looked up at Lamont, holding the CD. He resisted the urge to put his hands in his pockets.
‘You said once that music and books were two of the greatest inventions. I wanted to add to your collection. Anita Baker has a strong, distinctive voic
e. Reminds me of yours.’
‘And the book? Why The Colour Purple?’
Lamont wasn’t sure if Rochelle liked his gifts or not, but she was putting him on the spot.
‘I just thought you you’d enjoy it.’
Rochelle beamed, surprising Lamont.
‘I’m sure I will. And thank you. It’s sweet of you.’
Relieved that she liked the gift, Lamont grinned.
‘It’s fine.’
They spoke for a while longer, and Lamont watched TV with Rochelle. He became distracted when Rochelle started to lean on him. His heart hammered against his chest, but he tried to look cool. She smelt like cherries and some jasmine aroma. Lamont liked it a lot. He liked everything about just sitting with Rochelle, almost like they were a couple. He wouldn’t overthink it though.
‘You’re finishing school soon, aren’t you?’
‘Couple of weeks left and then I’m done. My exams are in June.’
Rochelle shifted against him. ‘Are you revising?’
‘A bit.’ Lamont wouldn’t lie. He had gone through old notes and school books, but he needed to make money too, He spent more time with Shorty and Marcus than he did revising.
‘L, exams are important. Promise me you’ll take them seriously.’
Lamont nodded. ‘I promise that I will. When they’re done though, let me take you out for dinner, okay?’
Rochelle glanced at him, her smile so sweet it threatened to overwhelm him.
‘Okay.’
Lamont’s chest felt warm. The evening had been one of the best he could remember. All of his drama, all the pressures of the street had evaporated in Rochelle’s presence, and he loved it. He needed to leave though and with great regret, extricated himself from Rochelle’s touch.
‘I’ve gotta go.’
If Rochelle was disappointed, she hid it well as she walked Lamont to the front door.
‘Thanks again for the presents, L. I’m going to put the album on now and start reading.’
‘Good. Let me know what you think.’
‘I will.’
They glanced at one another, not knowing what to do next. Lamont took her in his arms, hugging her against him. Rochelle stiffened for a second, then hugged him back. Acting on instinct, Lamont kissed her on the forehead as he let her go.
‘Night, Shelly.’
‘Night, L.’
Chapter Eight
Tuesday 20 May 1997
Lamont had books spread across his desk. He’d listened to Rochelle, and was revising for his exams, which started next week.
Lamont had officially left school, turned in all coursework, and he was ready. There was no fear over completing his exams. He had always been a dutiful student and his personal circumstances hadn’t impacted his desire to learn. Scribbling notes as he pored through his year eleven maths textbook, Auntie’s shrill voice cut through the quiet.
‘Lamont! Door!’
Mumbling under his breath, Lamont hurried down the stairs. Levi waited in the garden, his movements jittery.
‘L, I need you,’ he started, nervously looking up and down the street.
‘For what? What’s going on?’
‘I got into a situation and I need you, man. We need to go find Marcus, or—’
‘Levi, are you gonna tell me what’s happened?’ Lamont cut across his friend. Levi made a noise of dissent, his eyes wide with fear.
‘Look, people are coming for me. Are you gonna help me find Marcus or what?’
Lamont wanted to leave Levi to it. They were friends though, and he couldn’t abandon him. Hurrying upstairs, he put on a hooded top, squeezed his feet into some black trainers, and made his way back to the front door. He heard Auntie call out, but Lamont had already closed the door.
‘What’s this situation then?’
‘I was dealing on the side,’ Levi hung his head. ‘I gave some weed to someone I thought was harmless. It had loads of seeds and shit, practically unsellable. He’s connected to a bigger guy. Now, they’re after me. They nearly caught me near my house, but I ran and escaped them. They’re probably still there.’
Lamont put out a hand to stop his friend.
‘Why were you dealing on the side?’ he asked, trying not to let his anger show.
‘Why do you think? I needed money.’
‘We all need money,’ Lamont snapped. ‘I look after that side of our thing though, so how did you do it?’
‘. . . When I reloaded with Craig, I got some extra for myself.’
Lamont couldn’t believe it. Levi needed money less than any of them. Craig made sure he wanted for nothing. Lamont regretted getting caught up in Levi’s drama, but it was too late now.
‘It wasn’t the first time, was it?’ Lamont already knew the answer. Levi couldn’t look him in the eye, focusing instead on the ground. Lamont sighed, shaking his head. He couldn’t bring himself to shout at his friend. Like it or not, Levi was the link to their supply.
‘Let’s just deal with this mess.’ Lamont stalked towards Levi’s place without even waiting for him.
Lamont stewed later, his mind alight. The guys Levi ripped off had been out for his blood, and it took Lamont offering them Levi’s chain as collateral to call them off.
More often, Lamont wondered about the drugs game. It was easy to get caught up in the hustle. He was selling weed to people who wanted to smoke, and on the surface that seemed fine, but it was still an offence, and he couldn’t afford to get caught.
Lamont absentmindedly played with the pieces of a battered chessboard. It had belonged to his father. Lamont remembered the nights spent listening to his dad explaining the significance of each piece, taking him the intricacies of taking his time with each move.
They would play and his dad would always win at first, but before his death, Lamont could beat him. He wondered to himself now if his dad had let him win.
Lamont had a few friends he could play with, but he hadn’t seen them much since he had started dealing drugs. It was time-consuming. He enjoyed the money he made but there was a lot of running around involved. It was a distraction though, and a distraction was what he needed right now.
Lamont thought about Rochelle. He’d been to the house once or twice since the dinner. The awkwardness lingered, but there was none of the initial ice and scorn. Now they talked easily about TV shows, literature, but never about anything too deep. Maybe that was the problem.
Lamont was sure that Rochelle liked him the way he liked her. Marcus teased him, saying that they acted more like a couple than he and Mia did, and Lamont would play along, but how the hell was he supposed to know?
His experience with the opposite sex was minimal. He could talk to them because they didn’t take him seriously. He was a friend to them, just like he had been to Erica, but it was different with Rochelle. It felt like there was something more there, but he had nothing to compare it to. And that was the problem.
If he and Rochelle were just friends, then he wouldn’t feel how he did. He wouldn’t be moping around, confused, not knowing if he was imagining anything between them. Blinking, Lamont looked down, realising, he was fingering the black queen piece. He glanced down at it, his eyes blurring for a moment, then he decided.
‘L? What are you doing here?’
Lamont could have kicked himself for his impulsiveness. Rochelle looked out at him. She wore a tight sleeveless top with big gold buttons. Two of the buttons were undone, leaving a tantalising trail to her cleavage, her thick thighs encased in a skirt. She was barefooted, some minstrel brown polish on her toenails. He stared, thinking how dumb it had been to turn up on her doorstep.
‘L?’ She spoke again, louder this time. Lamont met her eyes. He wondered if she knew the sexual vibe she put out. He didn’t think she did. There was no way she could know the full effect she had on him.
‘I wanted to see you,’ Lamont mumbled. The way the scenario had played out in his head and the reality couldn’t have been more different. For a f
leeting second he was tempted to run away. Instead, he met her eyes again.
‘Why?’ she asked.
‘Because I like you.’
‘I like you too, L. I think you’re a great guy.’
‘Good. If we both like each other, that’s all it should take, right?’
Rochelle shook her head. ‘It’s not that simple. I have baggage. There are complications in my life I can’t explain. Trust me when I say I’m the last person you want to get involved with.’
‘You’re wrong. When I’m around you . . . I feel like I can be myself. I don’t have to put on an act or blend in. You make me feel secure. Surely if I have someone like that, I should keep them close, right?’ Lamont fought to keep his words even, to stop his voice from shaking, heart madly pounding. He had never put himself out there like this before. The words were out now. He was being a man, telling Rochelle how he really felt, hoping to hell that she wouldn’t shoot him down.
The insecurities whipped at him like an abusive partner. How could she want him? What the hell did he have to offer her?
Lamont’s eyes watered now, unblinking. He wanted to break his gaze. He couldn’t though; he had to show her. This was more important than he knew.
‘L, please listen to me . . . you can’t get involved with me. Please, just go home and let’s forget about this.’ Rochelle’s voice had lost its usual assertiveness. Her eyes glistened with tears. Lamont didn’t know why they were there. Only that she was weakening. She liked him. That was all Lamont had needed to hear. If she liked him, then he was in control.
‘No,’ he replied, her fledging resistance strengthening his resolve.
‘You don’t have a choice. I can’t do this with you. I won’t do this with you.’ Rochelle tried to close the door but Lamont jammed it with his trainer. Pain shot through his foot but he didn’t care.
‘I’m not going anywhere. I’m tired of shying away from things, too scared to stick a toe in the pool and risk getting wet. I like you. I’m not missing this opportunity to make you understand how much.’
‘Lamo—’ Rochelle didn’t get his name out. Lamont moved forward, capturing her lips, hands grazing Rochelle’s hips. She resisted only for a moment before she was kissing Lamont back.