***
When I returned to the cabin after my shower, I noticed Caroline was still awake. She was lying on her bunk reading a book. Curfew wasn’t until another thirty minutes, and only a couple of girls were back inside the cabin.
“You and Luke seem to be having a lot of fun,” she commented, hardly glancing at me.
I sat across from her on the adjoining bunk. She realized I must have wanted something and looked over.
“Caroline, can I ask you something?” I grinned, almost laughing at what I was about to ask.
“Sure. What’s up?”
“Suppose you had your choice of someone nice and who you knew liked you or someone you weren’t sure about, but when you see them it’s like you can’t breathe because you’re so attracted to them. Well, would you stay with what was safe? Or would you take a risk and go for the other one?” Now I worried I’d said too much.
“I assume we aren’t talking about me, and we’re talking about you? Which one is Luke?” She was perceptive.
“The first one—the one who definitely likes me back.”
Caroline nodded. “And who’s the one causing you a heart attack whenever he walks past you?”
I hesitated, then spoke quietly so no one in the room would overhear. “Devin.”
“Devin? You don’t mean Devin Connell, do you?”
“I don’t know.”
She began to describe him. “Really long hair like a—”
“—surfer. Yeah, that’s him.” At that point, I knew his last name for sure, too. “And he has these amazing blue eyes. He looks really mature.”
Caroline laughed a little. “I take it you haven’t figured out yet what he’s doing here?” We stared at each other, and I realized she had her own secret to tell.
“Um, no. I just find him… interesting. I was trying to find out which family group he might be in, but I haven’t been able to yet. Do you know?”
“Dahlia… Devin’s one of the counselors. He’s also one of the lifeguards.”
So you’re a counselor. No wonder he’d checked on Lauren during the relays—he was a lifeguard.
This info intrigued me even more. It was like he was off-limits, yet I was totally allowed to like him and didn’t have to worry whether he returned anything to me. If he’d been a camper, like me, he might like someone else.
“Wow. I didn’t realize. How old is he?”
“I think he’s twenty-one.”
No wonder you look older.
“So you see him at the staff meetings?”
“Yes—every day.”
“You won’t tell him anything I said, will you?”
“No. That’s between you and me.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
“Hey, but the good news is if you should drop down from a heart attack next to him, he knows CPR and could save your life.” She winked at me.
“Yeah. I might have to fake one.”
Caroline laughed.
After getting off the bunk, I climbed the ladder onto my own bunk. Once I’d snuggled inside my sleeping bag, I thought about what Caroline had just told me.
Caroline got off her bunk when all the girls spilled into the room for curfew. She quickly leaned into me and whispered, “I’ll tell you a secret about him. He’s also really nice.” Then she bolted to the door to get ready to turn the light off.
Tonight I had a hard time falling asleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted to see for myself how nice Devin was.
***
Luke and I were to be in a volleyball tournament today. I’d missed the game before ours and didn’t know what teams had played.
Imagine my excitement when I realized Devin was sitting on the sidelines watching our game. It was difficult to concentrate and play my best knowing he might catch my mistakes. But I tried my hardest, and it paid off. We won our game and were advanced into the finals scheduled for the next week.
Luke was a hardcore player, so he was even more thrilled with the victory than I was. He picked me up and swung me around to celebrate after. And I was pretty sure Devin saw him do that.
Right after the game, we walked off together, so it looked like we were an item. Luke touched me a lot in public. And I’d convinced myself I liked him, too, but also harbored an innocent crush on a counselor who wasn’t allowed to return feelings to me. There’s no harm in this.
So, I let Luke shower me with affection. He held my hand some and flirted with me a lot. Meanwhile, my eyes searched for Devin.
Then something encouraging happened. While standing in the dinner line, I turned and saw Devin walking up behind me, and I couldn’t help but stare at him. As he got closer, I turned away and had to look down.
“Hi, Dahlia.”
At first, I didn’t think I’d heard correctly but then realized it was indeed Devin who had greeted me. I looked up only to briefly catch a smile as he continued walking toward the dining hall door. You know my name. I wondered if he’d taken the time to read my name tag, too. He must have.
Now I couldn’t wait to get inside the dining hall. It was only Lauren waiting in line with me, so I didn’t have to worry about Luke complicating the situation. Eventually, it was our turn to go in. We entered and grabbed our dinner.
With my tray in hand, I searched the room for a table. Devin was already seated, and there was still room for Lauren and me to sit with him.
Without consulting Lauren, I walked over and set my tray down diagonally from Devin. He glanced up but didn’t really react, so I pretended not to notice him either.
“Why are we over here?” Lauren asked loudly, sounding annoyed, but set her tray down beside mine. “We usually sit on the other side,” she complained further.
Shut up, Lauren. “There wasn’t room over there, and this table allows for the others to join us.”
It was a quick recovery on my part, as Lauren seemed satisfied with my reason and sat down. I still wasn’t quite ready to explain things to her.
“I forgot my drink. Be right back.” Lauren got back up.
I didn’t dare look in Devin’s direction, but I couldn’t eat either. The meal was spaghetti, and I couldn’t risk some hanging out of my mouth or spilling some on the front of my shirt. So, I looked around the room and took a few sips of my water.
“You’re not hungry?” Devin asked, apparently having noticed I wasn’t eating.
“Not really,” I lied.
“Starving” was the word I would’ve used to describe my state at that point. Spaghetti was one of the few things I could tolerate eating at camp. I thought about how I really had sat in the wrong spot tonight. There was no way I’d let Devin see me eat this messy meal. I’d reacted impulsively and hadn’t carefully thought it out. I’d be going to bed hungry—again. I nibbled on the bread because it was safe to eat.
Devin nodded.
While I was thinking of something else to say, Aaron took a seat next to him, across from me.
“Why, hello, Dahlia,” Aaron said, sounding totally awkward.
Devin looked at him, then at me, apparently wondering what was going on between us.
“Well, hello back to you, Aaron.”
Lauren returned and sat back down. Suddenly our table filled up. Unfortunately for me, some girl with red hair sat beside Devin on his other side. She greeted him immediately, and he was polite and greeted her back. Dirk sat next to Lauren, and Blake sat next to me. Counselors were bombarding us tonight.
“Hey, Lauren. Great discussion today,” Dirk said in his nasally voice.
Lauren gave me a look, and I had to stare down at my tray to keep from laughing. Glancing up only with my eyes, I met Devin’s gaze. He stared at me like he knew what I was thinking, since he’d seen my imitation of Dirk. He was waiting to see if I’d laugh, so I had to look away from him, too.
“Aren’t you eating?” Blake asked me.
Maybe I should have eaten since it seemed more attention was on me for not. “I’m not very hungry,
” I lied a second time.
When I looked at Devin, he peered at me curiously but didn’t say anything. I felt my stomach rumble and hoped no one heard it.
“Are you going to save me a dance tonight?” Blake asked me.
He was someone who knew the girls crushed on him, and I thought he assumed any of us would faint from just the little attention he gave. He must have figured I was no exception. But I’d wanted Devin to ask me that question.
“Um, sure,” I said.
My eyes shifted to look at Devin to see if he’d heard me. His eyes looked from Blake, then back to me but showed no reaction. I let my eyes linger longer to see if he might suggest we dance, too, but he said nothing. So, I looked down at my tray.
“I’m going to be there tonight,” the girl with the red hair said to Devin.
“Yeah? So is Aaron, and I bet he’ll dance with you,” Devin said.
A snicker accidentally escaped me when I was trying to conceal a laugh. Devin, Aaron, and the girl all looked at me. I had to bite my lip. It was then I realized Devin had smiled at me.
“We could have a triple date tonight,” Dirk said, trying to sound amusing, but it just came out all wrong. “You and me, Lauren. Blake with your friend. And Devin with the girl next to him. Should we take you out for ice cream afterward?” Dirk did a roaring laugh at his own joke and glanced around the table to see who would join him. It was so uncomfortable.
Devin was the only counselor who hadn’t made these stupid, embarrassing comments.
“I can’t promise I’ll only date you tonight,” Blake said to me. “Some of the other girls might get envious.” Then he put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed while I tried to pull away.
What did he want me to say to that? Lauren shot me an accusing look, like I was leading Blake on or something.
When I glanced at Devin, it was obvious he’d seen Lauren’s reaction, too. If he volunteered to dance with Lauren next, I was going to lose it. These counselors were acting ridiculous, but their inflated egos made them think we were enjoying every second of it. Dirk was the last person in the room who I needed affirmation from that I was desirable. What he did was just creepy.
“I’m going to go refill my drink,” I blurted out and immediately left the table but without my glass.
Once I’d made it to the refill station, I realized my mistake. I felt stupid and knew I looked awkward standing there doing nothing.
That’s when I saw Devin walking toward me holding two cups, and I knew one of them had to be mine. It was filled nearly to the brim.
He was smiling. “You left it on the table, so I thought maybe you wanted me to refill it?”
I nodded, knowing he knew it didn’t need to be but was playing along with my charade. He topped it off with a few drops of water, then handed it to me. Why are you helping me?
“Thanks.”
He refilled his own cup, then looked at me. “Spaghetti’s one of the better meals, too.”
You know why I’m not eating in front of you, don’t you? I swallowed. “It is?”
Devin nodded. “And you’ll need energy to win the volleyball tournament against me next week.” The comment confirmed he’d noticed me today.
I stared at him. “I’ll try to eat some, then.”
We walked back to the table and sat down. I watched Devin while he sipped his glass of water. His eyes glanced in my direction, caught me watching him, and I looked away.
“Everything okay?” Lauren asked me.
“Definitely.”
I finally twirled some of the noodles around my fork and turned away to put the bite into my mouth. Then I quickly wiped with my napkin to make sure there’d be no sauce on my face. Of course, when I glanced up, Devin saw me eating and nodded at me in approval.
“Do you think Marissa is coming for July?” Blake asked out of nowhere.
At first, I thought he was talking to me. Then I realized he was looking at Devin.
“No,” Devin replied curtly.
Blake then leaned across me and said something to Lauren. I wasn’t paying attention because I was trying to read Devin’s expression. He’d completely turned his face away from Blake. No smile. No reaction. Now I wondered who they were talking about.
I’d have to wait for the answer because dinner was over, and we could finally leave. Before I left the table, though, I turned to Aaron and said, “Save me a dance, Aaron.”
When I looked at Devin, his gaze moved from Aaron to me, possibly to check that I wasn’t playing with Aaron’s emotions. I smiled at Devin, then nervously looked away. But I glanced back and saw Devin slowly smile at me. Then he stood up to go.
“What was that?” Lauren asked once we were out of earshot. We headed toward our cabins to change clothes for the dance.
“I have no idea. It was weird—like attack of the counselors or something.”
“Did so many have to sit with us? You didn’t have to endure Dirk next to you, though. It’s bad enough I have him every morning for my family group. I think meals need to be excluded.”
“I agree.”
“You aren’t planning to dance with Blake, are you? I mean you have Luke to think about. He might get jealous or something.”
It was odd she asked me that. I wondered why she cared if I danced with Blake. She seemed to be into Chase.
“No. I don’t want a triple date tonight.” My comment sent Lauren into a fit of laughter. “Let’s get ice cream afterward, girls. Oh no, Lauren—you spilled some on the front of your shirt. Let me wipe it up,” I said in my famous Dirk voice.
“Yeah—after he knocked into me to make sure the ice cream spilled…”
***
Luke kept me occupied at the dance. In fact, he rarely left my side. So, I had no chance to see if Devin might ask me to dance. When I finally spotted Devin, he was standing next to the exit observing everyone again.
I saw Aaron dancing with Caroline, so I waited till their song ended, then asked him to dance with me next. He told me another odd story as we clumsily moved to the music.
Glancing over at the exit, I thought I saw Devin watching us. And I never once saw him dance. I planned to find an opportunity during the next day to ask Caroline some questions about him.
“There you are. It’s our song again. Come on,” Luke said, pulling me onto the dance floor once more.
It was the song from last week that we’d danced to. That night, I’d cared what the song was. Tonight, I didn’t.
Chapter Five
Week Three
The morning sky on Sunday was completely covered in gray storm clouds. Rain today was inevitable. This would limit how Lauren and I would spend the day. But it really didn’t bother me since all I wanted to do was watch Devin anyway. I’d caught sight of him a couple of times the day before. He seemed to keep to himself a lot and wasn’t outgoing like the other counselors.
Most of the cabin had cleared out to take showers and get ready for breakfast. Caroline was still sitting on her bunk reading a book. I knew she’d be heading out for the staff meeting in a few minutes. Plopping myself down on the bunk across from her, I decided this was as good a time as any to ask her questions about Devin. I had to make sure I worded them right.
“What’s up?” she asked when she realized I was waiting to chat.
“Not much.”
Caroline nodded and went back to her book.
I licked my lips and then asked what I’d really wanted to. “I just wondered if you know where some of the other family groups meet.” Hopefully, I sounded vague and as if possibly trying to find out where my secret pal’s group met.
Caroline looked back up and then smiled. I realized she knew exactly who I was asking about. I wouldn’t care where my secret pal was.
“His group meets on the deck of the craft cabin.” She looked back at her book.
I didn’t respond immediately but just watched her read. I let out a heavy sigh and finally spoke. “I can’t stop thinking about him.” I
waited to see her reaction to my confession.
“Luke?” she teased, but I shook my head. “Yes, I know who you’re referring to.”
I sighed, embarrassed. “I figured you did.”
Caroline’s expression softened. “Dahlia, I think that’s normal—so long as you understand Devin is a counselor and can’t be anything else to you. He’s not allowed to be.” She waited to see if I comprehended her words.
Once again, I nodded, and another sigh came from me. I was about to get up when she spoke again. “You know, we’re human, too. Every year I’ve had a favorite camper, even if I’d never admit it.”
I looked at her with a hopeful expression, wondering what being a favorite might entail. “Really?”
“Yep. I’m known to send emails to campers outside of camp and keep in touch. And I’m sure even Devin has had someone he was fond of or who left an impression on him. You know you’ve made an impression on Aaron.” We both smiled.
“I like him. Did something happen to him?”
“Now that would be a good thing to ask Devin about. And by the way, he mentioned you during the staff meeting yesterday.”
“What do you mean?” You mentioned me? My heart began beating faster.
“He admired how nice you were to Aaron during dinner the other night and that you danced with him.”
I was right. You had noticed me at the dance.
“And speaking of staff meetings, I’ve got to get to one. I’ll say hi to him from you.”
Now my heart was racing in a panic. “No, don’t. Please don’t repeat this. He’ll think I’m immature—a child. I want him to see me differently—not like the other campers here.”
“Dahlia, you’re a pretty young lady who is sensitive and sweet. I’m sure he’d be flattered to know you’re interested. He would never think anything bad of you. I promise.”
Caroline put her book beside her bed. She stood up to go, so I got off the bunk. We walked toward the cabin door.
“Would you like me to say hi to Dirk instead?”
“Absolutely not.”
“I’m only kidding,” she said as she shut the cabin door behind us.
I continued walking with Caroline down the hill toward the craft cabin deck, where the morning staff meetings took place. Evening meetings were held in the director’s cabin. Devin was already seated at one of the craft cabin tables. I thought he was listening to a music player because I could see the cord from his earphones trailing down his neck. He also was writing something in a notebook.
Edge of Eighteen: A Slow Burn Summer Camp Love Story Page 4