Lauren looked at me one last time, then exited the cabin, leaving me sitting on the bed.
***
Just before dinner, I’d fumbled in my duffel bag and found the scarf. It was the one I’d taken from Devin after the dance. I put it around my neck. The gesture was made to show him I was thinking about him and possibly push him to talk to me.
Aaron found me right away in the dinner line and followed to sit with me. We found a spot at one of the tables to accommodate the two of us.
Tonight, I allowed myself to search the room for Devin. I wanted to check if he’d see me and notice his scarf. When I found him seated two tables away, my heart began to race. It felt like forever since the last time we’d talked, but I was sure he’d notice me before long. Maybe a minute passed, and Devin’s eyes met mine. He glanced at his scarf. When his eyes held mine once more, he smiled. I was about to return a smile to him when Blake sat down diagonally from me. Devin’s smile quickly disappeared.
“Nice scarf, Dahlia. Yours?” Blake asked as he looked over his shoulder at Devin.
Lauren stood behind him holding her tray. He ignored her, so she looked at me.
This time, I didn’t give Blake the chance to do anything to screw up my life further. “I have to find another table,” I said to Aaron so only he heard me.
Then I picked up my tray and moved across the room and sat down. Devin was still watching me, but I turned the other way and tried to eat. How did Lauren not notice it all? If I really liked the attention and wanted Blake, then I wouldn’t leave, would I?
After dinner, we had free choice. I couldn’t remain in the cabin any longer, or I’d go crazy. At this point, I wanted to force Devin to interact with me. I took a chance he’d be in the dining hall playing chess and headed there.
When I entered, I saw about twenty people inside watching Devin play against a camper. Devin was concentrating on the chessboard, so I walked in quietly and took a seat near him at one of the dining tables to observe. Ten minutes must have passed without Devin noticing me. Then the players laughed at something, which caused him to look up. He brushed his hair back, then froze when he saw me. Other players noticed his reaction and turned to see what had his focus and saw me. Devin quickly looked back at the game.
A few more moves were made, then Devin lost. The boy who won looked to be about fourteen. I had a suspicion Devin let him win, after the boy cheered and said he couldn’t believe he’d beaten him. Devin congratulated him in his usual way, always a good sport. He then stood up.
I jumped up and walked out the back door, which led to the trail to the cabins, and sat on a bench. Devin came out of the door and saw me. My heart started pounding in anticipation of his decision to ignore me or not. He walked over slowly, then sat down beside me. I felt relieved.
We looked at each other without speaking at first. Finally, I broke the silence and said, “Hi.”
“Hi, Dahlia,” he whispered. He was close enough to my face so no one would hear what we were saying. “You didn’t come to practice yesterday or today. You’ve left almost every meal. Are you okay?”
I hadn’t been okay for days, so I shook my head no. He surprised me and pulled me into him for a hug, with me nearly collapsing against him.
“I’ve missed you,” he said almost inaudibly, but I heard him. “I don’t want to be the reason you’re hurting.”
His comment made me pull away to look at him. His expression had softened.
“Does this mean you believe me now?”
When Devin didn’t respond, I knew he wasn’t sure what to believe. And that hurt even more. I let go of him, stood up, and started walking off.
“Dahlia,” he called.
I turned back to look at him.
“There’s a lot of history between him and me I have to work out,” he explained.
I nodded to show I’d already figured that out. “Just for the record, I’d never use someone to get back at you,” I said and waited to see his reaction, but he really didn’t give one. “When you’re ready to hear my side, let me know.”
“Wait.” He got up from the table and walked over to me. “We can’t talk tonight because if I disappear, the kids playing chess will come looking for me. But I’ll find a time tomorrow. Can you wait until then? If not…”
“Do you promise you won’t blow me off tomorrow and will hear my side?”
“I promise.”
Slowly, I nodded with a sigh, then turned to walk up the hill. Tomorrow felt like an eternity away.
***
The rain had started in the middle of the night and was pouring down hard during breakfast. It sounded like a stampede of elephants on the roof of the dining hall. And it was impossible to get anywhere around camp without a rain jacket and umbrella to keep from being completely soaked. All activities had been put on hold, and only the dining hall and rec hall had been opened to house campers through the storm. Otherwise, we could hang out in our cabins until it blew over. Family groups were also canceled because so many groups met outdoors. This was a relief to me since it meant I didn’t have to see Blake today.
Since I’d sat with Aaron for breakfast and knew he appreciated it, I made a point to sit with him for lunch, too. I knew how he must feel being a social outcast now that I’d become one.
Today, figuring I had nothing to lose, I decided to ask Aaron some questions about his family.
When he looked at me, I smiled. “Are you looking forward to camp being over? Then you can see your parents.” I wanted to see what he knew or remembered.
He was fiddling with his fork. “My mom and dad died.”
I hadn’t expected the blunt remark and had possibly opened a can of worms. As sensitively as I could, I said, “I’m sorry. That must make you sad.”
He began rocking back and forth in his seat and wouldn’t look at me. Then he leaned toward me and placed his head against my shoulder. Not caring any longer who saw me with Aaron, I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a squeeze. I wanted to be Aaron’s safe place. He didn’t let me for more than a second, then pushed me away.
“Do you like cats?” he asked, completely out of thin air.
So, I let Aaron discuss cats with me—whatever made him feel comfortable. At some point, I realized Devin was watching us and smiling.
After lunch, I walked Aaron to the dining hall, where crafts and games had been set up to do during the rain. I left him there and went back to the cabin.
By late afternoon, I’d headed back to the dining hall to fetch Aaron, who I’d promised to walk to his cabin because I had an umbrella. Secretly, I’d hoped Devin would be playing chess. And since I’d had a legitimate reason to be there, it would look coincidental that I’d shown up.
The rain was pounding around me as I tried to hurry down the hill. Leaving at the time I did was a mistake. I should have waited for the rain to die down before attempting to go out. I’d just made it to the dining hall when I tripped over a rock and landed face down in a mud puddle.
Stunned, I tried to get up and rub some of the mud from my clothes. By that point, I was completely drenched and had to get back to the cabin and change. But I knew I needed to wait until the rain let up some before going. I wiped the water from my face so I could see but didn’t realize I had mud on my hands. Then it was all over my face. The only way I was going to get dry was to go inside the dining hall, but I didn’t want Devin to see me like this. So I stood there thinking about what to do.
The dining hall door opened, and a guy walked out and looked me over before running through the rain. When I looked back, I realized Devin was sitting at one of the tables, watching a group of campers play chess. He looked surprised to see me standing in the doorway. The dining hall door then swung closed with me still standing outside in the pouring rain.
Devin immediately came outside to me. He looked very concerned while he looked me over. “What happened?” he asked.
“I tripped and fell face first into a puddle. I think the puddle
won.” I was shaking now from the cold. “I’m supposed to meet Aaron and walk him to another activity. I have an umbrella.” When I looked down, I realized I’d dropped it when I fell. “Well, I had an umbrella.”
Devin picked up my umbrella, opened it, and handed it back to me.
“He left a while ago. Just a second.”
Devin opened the dining room door and announced to the campers that he had to go. He turned back to me. “Come on,” he said as he pulled me away from the door. He put his hood over his head, then took my umbrella from me to hold over us. Firmly, he held me by the crook of my arm and led me away from the dining hall and through the rain.
I could see my breath when I exhaled, from it being so cold. Thank goodness, he walked us quickly toward what I assumed would be the craft cabin bunk, also known as “our room.”
We reached the stairs and went up them. Then we walked to the door of the bunk, which Devin opened and motioned for me to pass through. Once we were safe inside, he locked the door.
Devin turned to me and pulled my sweater off, then wrapped himself around me to warm me up. There wasn’t a part of my body that wasn’t soaked. Even my hair was dripping a pool of water onto the floor. There was muddy water caked all over my clothes and face, and I was then getting it all over him. Using his thumbs, he tried to remove some of the mud from under my eyes. We just looked at each other without speaking while he tended to me.
He eventually let go of me and walked into the small bathroom just off the main cabin. He turned on the shower, and I wondered if he planned to have us take one together. Eventually steam escaped the open doorway, which made me wish I were in the shower then. He came back over to me and took me by my hand and led me into the bathroom.
“Get out of your clothes and into the shower, and get warm. I’m going to run back to my cabin and get you some of my clothes to change into. I’ll hurry.”
I didn’t even wait for Devin to leave the bathroom before attempting to remove my shirt, but I was shivering so badly I couldn’t. It was clinging to my body in a soppy mess.
“Dahlia, you’re going to have to give me some indication of what you want me to do. I could leave the bathroom so you can undress. Or do you need my help?”
I nodded as we both could hear my teeth clicking together, my body chilled to the bone.
Devin stood next to me and helped me lift my arms over my head. He pulled the shirt off, then tossed it onto the floor. He looked down at my bra, then back at my face.
“I wouldn’t do this with anyone else. I’d leave and get someone else to help them. But I have a feeling you want me to be the one to help you.”
My hands clutched his arms, and it was the sign he needed to know I did indeed want him to be the one to help me. He made me feel safe, and I longed for him to take care of me.
Devin bent down and managed to get my shoes and socks off. Next, he helped me to get out of my leggings, which had to be peeled off my skin. I’d landed hard on my knees in the puddle and one was bleeding. If he’d wanted to remove my bra and panties, I wouldn’t have objected. They were pretty much see-through at that point, anyway. But he left them on. Then he pulled the curtain over so I could step inside the shower.
“I’ll be right back. Don’t get out of the shower until I’ve returned with a towel and some clothes. I’ll hurry. Will you be okay until then?”
“Yes,” I said, feeling the warmth of the water against my skin.
He then tugged the curtain back into place. I heard the bathroom door shut.
The hot water continued to cascade over my cold skin and felt wonderful. It didn’t take long for me to feel warm again, and the shivering finally stopped. At the risk of Devin freaking out, I removed my bra and underpants and tossed them outside the shower onto the floor. There was travel size shampoo and conditioner sitting in the corner, both of which I used.
About ten minutes went by when there was a knock on the bathroom door. “It’s me,” Devin called out.
I turned off the water, then turned my back to the curtain so he could open it. Instead, he stuck his hand through the curtain and handed me the towel.
“Clothes are in here for you. I’ll wait for you outside.”
“Thank you,” I said, stepping out from the shower once the towel was securely around me. All of this was incredibly nice of him to do for me.
First, I put on a pair of warm-up pants that were loose. But since they were his, I didn’t care. Next, was a fitted flannel long-sleeved shirt. I secured a couple of buttons to conceal my chest and left the rest undone. Finally, I put on a pair of clean socks. Then I was warm and smelled like pine trees. I emerged from the bathroom.
“Now I recognize you.” He smiled.
Devin had me turn my back to him and used another towel to dry the back of my hair. When he was finished, he set the towel onto the desk, and I turned to face him. Suddenly, he lifted me up into his arms in a cradle position. He carried me over to the bed and placed me onto it, then got alongside me. His hands combed through my wet hair while he stared at my face. His breathing had become more erratic and mine momentarily stopped. He moved toward my face, and I could feel his hot breath on my skin as he exhaled. Before I had time to realize what was happening, I felt his lips graze mine.
This was it. Devin was keeping his promise, and I’d finally know what a kiss from him was like. When his lips pressed against mine, my body slightly tensed up, and my own lips searched urgently to grasp his and not let go. His soft, firm lips closed over mine, claiming my mouth to be all his. The room fell silent except for the obvious sounds our lips were making, along with quick inhales we needed to keep the kiss going. As Devin tightened the grip he had on my arm and kissed me harder, my mind got totally lost in him, and I was no longer aware of my surroundings. Time froze, holding me captive in this incredible instant.
Desiring to taste him, I ran my tongue across his top lip. He reacted like I’d hoped and parted his mouth to allow his tongue to interact with mine. His hand let go of my arm and trailed to the front of my shirt, and I thought he might attempt more. But he seemed to catch himself and stopped. He pulled away, swallowed loudly, and opened his eyes to look at me. A large smile spread across my lips.
“Is that what you wanted?” he asked.
Nodding at the same time, I breathlessly answered, “Yes.”
Now he sighed, falling alongside me, with his arm across me. His lips were near my ear, and his breath was warm. “I just can’t seem to show self-control. You’d think I would’ve learned my lesson from the things that happened in my past. But here I am, alone in a cabin with a camper and kissing her.”
“You don’t see me in that way anymore, do you?”
“What way is that?”
“As a camper. Or us doing something wrong.”
“What we’re doing is still wrong because this is my job. And I’m risking everything to be in here with you. But it didn’t seem to stop me.” He nuzzled his face against my cheek. “And no. You aren’t a camper to me.”
I closed my eyes but still had a big smile on my face from hearing him say this. We held each other for a few minutes without speaking, and I relished the time he was allowing me to have alone with him, risking his job for me.
“The last two days were horrible for me,” I said, turning on my side to look at him.
His eyes opened to peer back at me. “I know. I was wrong not to let you explain. There’s just so much that doesn’t involve you where Blake is concerned, and I let it get to me. If you want to tell me now what happened, I’ll listen.”
“Really?”
He nodded for me to talk.
“Well, Lauren and I have a really long history. She’s always been the one who guys like. I’m used to it. We’ve never liked the same person, so it wasn’t much of an issue other than that no one ever noticed me.”
“Hmm. I didn’t realize you felt that way about Lauren. It surprises me since I didn’t notice Lauren at all.”
“W
hy is that?”
Devin shrugged. “I guess she’s not really my type.”
“You like athletic girls, I’m guessing,” I said, thinking of Marissa.
“I’m not sure if I have a specific type. I do like that you’re athletic. But I think you’re prettier. Okay, continue with your story.”
Earth to me. “Oh, right. Well, I confided in Lauren around the time of the formal dance that I liked you. I’d planned that night to ask you to dance—”
“And then you saw me dancing with her…”
“Yes,” I replied.
“It made you cry, which I didn’t expect. But hearing now about the competition you feel between you and Lauren, I see why it did.”
“Did Caroline tell you I was crying?” I wanted to know.
“No. But sometime in early June, she pointed you out to me and said you liked me.”
“I knew it! I always thought she’d said something to you.”
“Well, we’re here now because she told me… Anyway, I saw you leave the dance upset. When you returned, I made a point to sit near you and give you the chance to ask me. When you started to leave again, I went after you. And, by the way, Lauren was the one who asked me to dance, or I wouldn’t have.”
“She was? For sure?” I remembered how Lauren had said that to me, but I wanted to be sure it was true.
“Yes. She had an agenda that night to get me to talk about you. I figured she’d report back to you whatever I said. So, when she asked me if I wished she were you, I nodded, knowing she’d tell you.”
“You did it on purpose?”
“I did. Surprised?”
“Very.” I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
“But what does all this have to do with Lauren and Blake and the other night?”
I knew I had to tell Devin the truth, even if Lauren would hate me for it. “A few weeks ago, she confided in me that she liked Blake.”
Devin took hold of my shoulder. “He’s being physical with her, isn’t he?”
Holding my breath, I nodded. “I’ve been covering for her so they can go places and make out.”
Edge of Eighteen: A Slow Burn Summer Camp Love Story Page 19