Though he wanted to continue talking to her, he headed for the living room and clicked on the TV.
“I don’t even know what most things are anymore,” he said. “I watch sports and the occasional movie, but other than hearing people at work talking about shows I’m clueless.”
Anna came into the room and took the remote from him, the brief brush of her fingers against his making him want to pull her close. When she sank onto the couch, he sent out a silent thanks and sat beside her. He noticed a momentary stiffening of her posture, but then she relaxed enough that he realized she must have forced it.
“Do I scare you?” Hell, why had he said that out loud?
“No, why?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just seem to make you anxious.”
“I’m fine. So, have you ever seen Longmire?”
She wasn’t telling the truth, but he wasn’t going to push her. He had to be fine with baby steps.
“No. I’ve heard it’s good though.”
“I think you’ll really like it.”
“But you’ve seen it? I doubt the mysteries will be intriguing if you already know who the bad guy is in every episode.”
“It’s very re-watchable.”
“All right, let’s watch an episode.”
But as the show began to play, Roman had a hard time concentrating on the characters. Instead, he watched as Anna continued to sit on the edge of the couch, leaning forward. After several minutes, he couldn’t stand it anymore.
“I don’t bite, you know. I’m fairly sure it’s against the Hippocratic Oath.”
“I didn’t say you did.”
“You didn’t have to. Your posture said it for you.”
She hesitated for a few seconds but then scooted back and relaxed. To help her, he managed to keep his hands to himself and his attention focused forward. As one episode flowed into another, he sensed Anna relaxing more next to him. And to his surprise, he found himself getting caught up in the stories and characters on the screen.
When the second episode finished, Anna asked, “What do you think?”
“I think we could use some popcorn before the next episode.”
“As luck would have it, I have some.”
He smiled as she hopped up and headed toward the kitchen, not only because she seemed to be more relaxed around him now. He was also glad to see her acting so normal. Just looking at her, no one would be able to tell how bad of an accident she’d been in, how he’d worried that she might not wake up. That thought made something knot tightly in his middle.
“So you liked mysteries even as a kid, the Nancy Drews and all that?” he asked as she threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave.
“Yeah. I flew through every kid mystery series the library had.”
“I remember Mom read me some of the old Hardy Boys books when I was sick.”
“Probably the same books I read.”
When she came back to the couch with the bowl of piping hot popcorn, the scent making her house smell like a movie theater, she didn’t immediately grab the remote to start the next episode. Instead, she pulled one leg up under her and faced him.
“I can’t remember. How long were you sick?”
“Two years.”
“That must have been scary.”
“Not going to lie. It was. I tried to not make a big deal of it because I could see how scared Mom and Dad were, but I was a kid. Sometimes I’d get mad or cry because I couldn’t go riding with Justin and Wes.”
“How old were you? I remember it was elementary school. I might have been in kindergarten.”
“I was in first grade when I was diagnosed. Got the clean bill of health right before Christmas in third.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
She sounded absolutely genuine, like if she could go back in time and prevent his suffering she would. And it didn’t surprise him one bit. That was just the kind of person she was.
“I remember everyone at school signed a big card for me. I still have it somewhere. Wonder if your signature is on there.”
“Probably in fat crayon with half the letters backward.”
He laughed a little at that. “I doubt it. I suspect you have known the proper way to make letters since birth.”
“I’m not sure how to take that.”
“As a compliment.”
She lifted an eyebrow as if she wasn’t quite sure he was being honest.
He lifted his hand and extended three fingers upward. “Scout’s honor.”
“Were you ever a Boy Scout?”
“Well, no, but the meaning fits.”
She scooted around to face the TV and started episode three.
“I just realized,” he said, a few minutes in. “That’s the girl from Battlestar Galactica, isn’t it?”
“Yes. So you do watch some TV. Or did. That show’s about a decade old now, counting from the end of its run.”
“I had more free time then.”
As the minutes continued to tick by, they made their way through three more episodes while consuming the bowl of popcorn and periodically pausing the show to discuss what else a certain actor had been in. Roman realized he hadn’t had such a fun evening in a long time, even if he couldn’t indulge his desire to wrap his arm around Anna and pull her close. For now, this easy camaraderie would have to suffice.
Chapter Twelve
Disoriented. That was the word that came to mind as Anna woke to find herself staring at her living room instead of the familiar environs of her bedroom. She blinked a few times before reality hit like a sudden wave. Not only had she fallen asleep on the couch, but she’d also somehow ended up leaning against Roman’s shoulder.
A lonely little voice in her head wanted so much to snuggle in closer, but she was afraid of his reaction. Hanging out and watching TV was one thing. Even sharing deeply personal memories didn’t seem as intimate as curling up together would be.
Unable to tell if he was asleep, she eased away from his shoulder thinking how she’d not been that close to a guy since a four-month romance in college. Her few dates since then hadn’t exactly set the world on fire either.
“Hey,” he said, his voice thick with sleep.
She stood. “Stretch out and go back to sleep.”
He opened his eyes a fraction. “What time is it?”
“Middle of the night. See you in the morning.”
As she started to step away, he surprised her by taking her hand. “Thanks. This was nice.”
It was so much more than nice, but she simply gave him a quick smile and a nod before retreating to the safety of her bedroom. If she didn’t get away from him, she was afraid her unspoken desire to feel his arms around her was going to overwhelm her common sense.
When she crawled into her bed, she hugged her pillow the way she’d wanted to wrap her arms around Roman’s warm body. Earlier, she couldn’t believe she was spending a Saturday night binge watching TV with Roman McQueen, a man who made her pulse race as if it was a rocket taking off for space. But how many times had she touched him today? The holding of hands had been really nice on its own. To wake up next to him and to have him not seem to mind was just… Despite her grasp of the English language, she couldn’t think of a word to fully explain how she was feeling—sort of like she’d experienced a full-on miracle.
She could never tell Paige about this because her friend would read way more into the evening than was really there. After all, she and Paige had fallen asleep watching TV on more than one occasion. This was no different.
Except you didn’t want to press yourself as close to Paige as humanly possible.
Her cheeks heated so much that she buried her face in the pillow, as if there was someone in the room with her who could bear witness to her embarrassing thoughts.
She didn’t sleep. Couldn’t. Instead, her mind kept replaying all of their interactions, all the times her body had made contact with his in any way. As she thought about the bits of
his past he’d shared with her, she thanked God that he had survived his cancer. That he’d been able to grow into a man with such caring and compassion a very big part of who he was.
After she saw the first light of dawn creeping in through her windows, she felt her eyes getting heavy again. She should really get up so her sleep schedule wouldn’t be totally out of whack considering she was going back to work the next day. Despite her best intentions, however, she drifted off.
The sound of the front door jerked her awake. Was that Paige coming to relieve Roman? For the first time since they’d become friends when she hired Paige at the library, Anna wasn’t in the mood to see her friend. Though she knew Roman couldn’t stay forever, she had looked forward to at least having coffee together before he headed home.
But maybe this was for the best, especially since she wasn’t sure she could hide her embarrassment at having slept propped up next to him the night before.
After brushing her teeth and running a comb through her hair, she made her way to the living room only to find it empty. No Roman. No Paige. Though she’d told them both she was okay to be alone, she hadn’t expected it to happen quite so suddenly and without even a goodbye. She crossed to the living room window and looked outside. Her driveway sat empty, and suddenly her heart felt the same. She bit her lip at the idea that once Roman had come fully awake, he’d wanted to make his exit before having to face her again.
Maybe he’d just had some sort of medical emergency, a patient in need, and hadn’t wanted to wake her.
Blinking against stupid tears, she trudged into the kitchen to make coffee. She supposed it was time to get used to her normal state of being again. During all that time in the hospital and the rehab facility, being back in the quiet, familiar space of her home was what she’d said she wanted. But after last night…well, now it felt emptier than it ever had, emptier even than the days right after she’d been forced to put her grandmother in the nursing home.
She’d just pulled the coffee out of the cabinet when she heard a vehicle pull up in her driveway, one that did not sound like Paige’s little car. Her heart thumping wildly, she glanced outside to see Roman getting out of his truck. She hurried back to the kitchen, not wanting him to know she’d been watching him.
The front door opened quietly to reveal Roman holding a big paper bag, the kind that the Big Sky Café used for takeout orders.
He looked startled to see her standing there looking at him. “Did I wake you when I left?”
“Yes, but that’s okay. I needed to get up so I’m not up all night tonight.”
He nodded toward the coffeemaker. “No need to fire that up. I brought coffee with breakfast.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“It’s partially self-serving. I figure I need to fuel up if I’m going to watch the rest of season one today.”
“You’re…not going home?”
“I will if you want me to, but I had a good time last night. I have nothing on my to-do list for today if you’re game for some more binge watching.”
Part of her was freaking out while another part was dancing with joy. She began to consider that more than friendship was going on here. Did he reciprocate her feelings? Or was this really no different than the girls’ weekends she and Paige had on occasion? She wished she could read his thoughts just for a moment to know for certain.
“Sure.” It was better than whatever she would have eventually gotten around to. Way better.
“You want to eat at the table or the couch?”
She motioned toward the couch. “Might as well dive right in.”
As he pulled containers out of the large bag and placed them on the coffee table, it began to feel like an endless array of clowns exiting one of those little clown cars.
“Are we expecting half of Logan Springs to come over and watch TV?”
“I didn’t know what you liked.”
One of the questions bouncing around in her head spilled out. “Roman, why are you doing this?”
He stopped retrieving takeout containers and met her gaze. “Because last night was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I love my work and helping people, but it doesn’t leave a lot of time for pure fun.”
“You could be spending time with your family. You could watch TV at your own home without splurging on half of the food in Lena’s restaurant.”
“Eating chips and watching TV alone doesn’t have quite the same allure.”
She couldn’t move, stunned into silence. The sound of allure on his lips sent want crackling along her skin like flames consuming dry tinder.
She forced her gaze to the food containers. “There any French toast in there?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Within a couple of minutes, she was enjoying delicious French toast, hot coffee, and watching one of her favorite shows alongside the handsomest man to ever stroll through her life. She kept expecting to wake up, for everything to be a dream, but she didn’t. Instead, over the course of the day they watched the rest of season one while devouring the remainder of the breakfast spread he’d bought.
In between episodes, they talked about their respective years at college, their work, the latest plans for Justin and Melody’s wedding, and what seemed like a million other little things. By late in the afternoon, Anna had come to realize just how much more full her life could be if she let it.
But not in the way that she really wanted. Her grandmother’s warnings echoed in her mind, but she shoved them away with no small amount of mental anger. This might very well have been the best weekend of her life, but she and Roman were still just friends. Maybe there was something different bubbling under the surface, but neither of them had taken a step across the invisible line between friendship and more than friendship.
“I guess I should get going,” he said as the credits rolled on the final episode of season one. “I’ve hogged enough of your weekend.”
“You haven’t.” She already missed him and he hadn’t even left. “It was fun. Thank you, for everything.”
“Anytime. I mean, I have to see the rest of the seasons at some point.” He grinned at her in a way that threatened to melt everything in her that was female.
She watched as he hesitated, almost as if he wanted to say something else, before he headed for the door. To her surprise, he turned when he reached it and gave her a quick hug that still had her feeling breathless as he drove up the street and back to his normal life.
How she’d wanted that hug to last longer, to go on forever. In those fleeting moments, she’d been able to feel a hint of just how well made Roman was under his clothes, and she’d almost asked him to stay. But she’d bitten down on those words, still unsure the best move to find out if there could be more, if she wasn’t just fooling herself into seeing something that wasn’t there.
As if Paige could read Anna’s thoughts, her best friend picked that moment to text her.
How’s your weekend going?
She followed the question with a winking emoji.
You’re not sick, are you?
Of course I am. ::CoughCough::
I’ll see you in the morning.
You’re going to leave me hanging?
Anna didn’t respond.
*
Roman considered bypassing the ranch altogether. He’d left nothing there that he had to have before the next time he visited, but he also knew his family. The longer he waited before showing his face, the more they were going to tease him. He’d already gotten a couple of smart-aleck texts from Wes, who couldn’t seem to help himself.
When he stepped out of his truck in front of his family’s home, he acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Because, really, it wasn’t. He’d spent the night at a friend’s house. Each of his brothers had done the same thing at various points in their lives. Though he might have had thoughts of more over the course of the past twenty-four hours, he and Anna were only friends.
Even if when she’d fallen asl
eep beside him, resting her head on his shoulder, he’d wanted to pull her fully into his arms, to stretch out on that couch with her, to make her feel safe and protected and… He tried not to let the last thought form, but there was no denying it. He was falling for Anna Kenner. He just didn’t know how best to see if he could take things further with her.
“I never in my life thought I’d see this one do the walk of shame,” Wes said as Roman walked through the front door.
“Oh, leave him alone,” Melody said as she came over and gave him a hug. “I think it’s wonderful. I couldn’t think of two nicer people.”
“We’re just friends,” he tried to claim but was met with a mixture of laughter and knowing looks. Even his dad snorted.
Leaving the lot of them behind, he went to the room he’d used all his life and gathered up his clothes.
“You might want to take a shower,” Wes yelled down the hall. “You still smell like trail ride.”
“Bite me,” he called back, which only elicited more laughter.
When he had all his stuff bagged up, he turned to leave only to find Justin standing in the doorway.
“What?”
His big brother gestured with his thumb toward the living room. “Ignore that idiot. I’m with Melody. You and Anna seem like a good match.”
“Nobody seems to believe me when I say nothing happened.”
“But did you want it to?”
He felt weird talking to Justin about this despite how he’d encouraged him to make things work with Melody. With a sigh, he sank onto the edge of the bed.
“I think so, but she’s more skittish than a newborn colt.”
“She’s always been on the shy side.”
“It feels like more than that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. Almost like she thinks too much or something.”
“You’ll figure it out. You’re the smartest person I know.”
“Don’t let Melody hear you say that.”
“She’d agree with me.”
It surprised Roman just how much his brother’s words meant to him.
“You’ve overcome a lot in your life,” Justin said. “And you’ve worked harder than anyone I know to get where you are. You deserve to have all the happiness in the world. If Anna is part of that, I hope you find a way to convince her and she feels the same. For the record, Melody thinks she does.”
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