For All The Right Reasons

by Brownell, Rachael

  Nathan pulls me into the pantry, softly shutting the door behind us. Through the slots in the door, I watch as Quinn pours himself a cup of coffee, grabs a protein bar, and heads out of sight.

  “That was close,” I whisper.

  It’s not the first time we’ve hidden in the pantry, or a closet, or the bathroom to avoid being caught playing games with each other. I’m sure it won’t be the last either. Nathan tries to rev my engine any chance he gets. One of these days, there’s not going to be a closet to hide in and we’re going to get caught.

  The boys are laughing at us as we attempt to pitch the tent one last time. Of course they haven’t offered to help. Not once. They’ve just stood there, arms crossed, watching in delight as we struggle. The damn thing won't rise.

  "You're using the wrong piece," Nathan finally says as he searches through the poles we've set out next to where we've been working. Reaching down and snagging a shorter piece, he waves Gabby out of the way.

  Twenty minutes later, our tent is standing in all its glory. It's massive. A sleeping area on either side of a main congregation room. Quinn and Nathan slowly and very carefully move the tent closer to the fire pit, put the picnic table in the middle room, and stare at the tent proudly.

  "That's a damn good-looking tent," Quinn says as he strips his shirt off.

  They're both dripping in sweat. The mid-afternoon sun is beating down on us, and there's not even the slightest breeze coming off the water.

  It's times like these I wish I could walk around shirtless without feeling self-conscious. And without it being illegal. I'm only wearing a tank top, yet I'm sweating profusely.

  "Where’s the other one?" I ask, ready to tackle setting it up so we can all jump in the water.

  "What other one?" Gabby asks. "This sleeps eight people. There's only four of us. I figured we'd sleep two a side."

  Well, fuck me.

  Who's sharing a room with who?

  "No offense, but I'm not sharing a tent, no matter how big it is, with Nathan. Dudes don't sleep together." Quinn voice has taken on a serious tone I rarely hear him use. When I look up, I find him holding up his hands in a stopping motion, taking a step away from the rest of us.

  "None taken," Nathan says, looking between Gabby and me. "So who wants to be the lucky lady that gets to sleep next to me?"

  There's a hint of laughter in his voice. He's full of himself sometimes, but it's all an act. He really doesn't think that highly of himself. In fact, I'm not even sure he realizes how gorgeous he is.

  "That's all you, Jade. I'll take my chances with Romeo over here."

  What the fuck, Gabby!

  Wait. She has no idea what's she's just done. If she did, she'd smack me across the back of the head and yell at me for not telling her.

  "Your boyfriend going to be okay with you snuggling another man for the weekend?" Nathan asks, his eyes meeting mine.

  He doesn't give two shits about my boyfriend. He's challenging me.

  "I'm not sure snuggling is in our future, but he knows all about you, so I doubt he'll care.”

  Lies. All lies.

  And Nathan can tell. I might sound convincing, but my words lack conviction. The truth is written all over my face. I feel like I may as well spit it out right here and now. About everything. About wanting him for more than a year now. About dreaming about him at night.

  Maybe then I won't feel this tightening in my chest.

  The truth will set me free.

  Sucking in a deep breath, I'm about to lay my heart in the dirt below my feet, prepared for him to stomp on it, when I see Gabby slap him in the chest.

  "You will not cuddle with Jade. You will not touch her at all. Have a little respect for her relationship, you ass. You're supposed to be her friend. Friends don't do that to each other."

  Gabby stomps off to her car, leaving the three of us staring at her in wonder. She's a feisty little thing when she wants to be. Passionate. Caring.

  And she just saved my ass and my heart all in less than ten seconds.

  The fire's burning brightly. Laughter fills the air.

  As soon as the sun set beyond the trees, Quinn poured us each a drink and we started playing charades. Girls versus guys. We've kicked their ass over and over again, but they refuse to give up.

  I'll give them a little credit. They're both pretty good at acting things out. I've been able to guess correctly every time they've gone up there. Neither of them is good at interpreting the other’s acting abilities, however.

  They're not in tune with each other like Gabby and I are.

  "Last one," Nathan states as he steps up to our makeshift stage, a heaping pile of dirt we created so the 'actor' was elevated and easier to see in the light of the fire.

  Two words.

  Movie.

  Looking around.

  Swimming.

  Fish face.

  Got it!

  Finding Nemo.

  Looking across the fire at Quinn, he looks perplexed, which seems to be the norm for him over the last few hours. Finally, as if all the pieces of the puzzle magically had come together, he begins shouting movies in Nathan's direction.

  The same movies he shouted last time Nathan tried to do a movie.

  Which is why Gabby didn't pick one of those movies when it came to Nathan's turn. We knew this was going to happen.

  "Jaws!"

  Nathan motions for him to keep guessing. He knows he's on to something.

  Shit. How much time left?

  "Fifteen seconds," I announce.

  "Little Mermaid!" Nathan's bouncing up and down with excitement.

  "Three. Two-"

  "SpongeBob!"

  "One. Times up!" I shout, giving Gabby a high-five.

  "Finding Nemo, you dumbass," Nathan says, dropping into his chair and almost tipping backward.

  "Like you did any better than me. You didn't even get one of mine."

  They bicker back and forth while Gabby and I laugh, hands over our mouths. They've been fighting like a married couple most of the day. Aside from getting the tent set up, anything else they did was a fight to see who could do it better. Faster. Bigger.

  At one point, I was worried they were going to whip their dicks out and measure them.

  "Congrats, ladies," Quinn says as he stands, chugging the last of his beer. "I'm turning in for the night."

  "Me too."

  Gabby and Quinn are walking away, leaving Nathan and me alone for the first time today. I know we're sharing a tent. I know he'll be sleeping next to me.

  All reasons I'm not ready to go to sleep. I'm not ready to put myself in that situation yet. I can feel the magnetic pull he has on my heart. There's no denying the electric current that runs through my body whenever he gets within reach of me.

  Hell, he hasn't touched me once since arriving, not even a hug, and my body yearns for his touch.

  "Wanna go for one last swim?" he asks, tossing me a towel when I realize I'm nodding my head.

  Chapter Eight

  NATHAN

  Opportunity number one...

  Sleeping in the same tent as Jade. Hopefully the same sleeping bag. This couldn't have worked out better.

  I don't give two shits that Quinn and Gabby are less than ten feet away. We've been quiet before. We can do it again.

  Opportunity number two...

  A late-night swim. We've had sex in the water before. It was fucking hot. Challenging and exhausting but so fucking hot. A repeat of that night is high on my to-do list right now. Right beneath where I've written Jade's name in permanent marker.

  Jade’s giggle echoes across the water as we quickly swim out past the lights of the house. I know they’re not home. They never are. Their lights are on a timer, giving the impression that someone is there. That’s why this is our favorite place to swim because no one is around to catch us.

  Private beaches are made for private moments like these.

  “The water feels amazing,” Jade says as she dive
s under. “It was so fucking hot today. I was drowning in sweat.”

  “You looked hot today.” Smooth, Nathan. Real fucking smooth.

  “Don’t I always?” she jokes, splashing water in my direction when as I start to close the distance between us.

  Gabby and Quinn went to bed early, thank God. That gave us the chance to have a late-night swim. Alone. And there’s only one thing I’d like to do right now since there are no prying eyes.

  “What are you doing?” Jade asks as I tug the strings on her bikini bottoms.

  “I think you know what I’m doing.”

  “In the water? How is that even going to work?” There’s a hint of concern in her voice as she grabs her bathing suit before it floats away.

  “Let’s find out, shall we?”

  I tug down the waistband of my shorts, then I pull her close, positioning her. Being the smart man that I am, I put a condom on before we left the house. Shock registers on her face when I slide inside, pulling her hips forward to meet my thrust.

  There a few things I learned about having sex in the lake tonight. First, every sound you make is ten times louder than you think it is. Even if you’re trying to be quiet, you’re still loud.

  Second, water sex is a workout. We eventually had to move closer to the shore to where I could stand up. I had no leverage, and even though I was inside Jade, I couldn’t get as deep as I wanted.

  Lastly, sex on the beach is as amazing as sex in the water. Especially when Jade is riding me, the moonlight at her back and a look of euphoria on her face. I wanted to close my eyes and enjoy the ride, but I couldn’t look away. I’d never seen her look so beautiful and free.

  I’ll never forget that look. It’s an experience I can’t wait to repeat. But next time, I want to see that look on her face with the waves around us. In the depths of the water.

  That’s my goal.

  As we wade into the water, Jade keeps her distance. It's been torture being this close to her for hours without touching her. Especially after finding out I'd be sleeping next to her tonight for the first time in far too long.

  Afraid I'm going to say or do something stupid before the moment’s right, I dive under the water and swim out past the dock. Jade takes her time swimming out to where I am, finally dipping under the water to wet her hair and brush it out of her face.

  God, she looks beautiful in the moonlight.

  "So, what's his name?" I ask, wanting to shove my foot in my mouth the second the words leave them.

  I shouldn't be asking about her boyfriend. I honestly don't want to talk about him, but I'm curious. Where is he? What kind of guy would be okay with her sleeping next to someone like me? And if he knows about me, really knows the facts, he shouldn't be okay with us sleeping in the same city let alone the same tent.

  "Who?" she asks, swimming over to the dock, gripping onto it, and allowing her feet to float to the surface of the water.

  "Your mysterious boyfriend."

  "You want to talk about my boyfriend? Seriously?"

  Her sass is back. I'm starting to think she uses it as a defense tactic against me. I never should have admitted I liked her smart mouth. That it turned me on when she sassed me.

  Slowly making my way to where she is, I swim directly between where her legs are floating and push them apart. Shock registers on her face as I wrap them around my waist and pull her to me.

  We're face to face. Her body wrapped around mine. The water is cold, but that doesn't stop me from having a physical reaction to the way her chest feels pressed against mine.

  "No," I state firmly, her face only an inch from mine. "I don't want to talk about your boyfriend. I don't want to think about another man touching you. I'm just curious why he's not here and what he knows about us."

  Jade's entire body shivers in my arms, but she's not cold. Her body feels like fire everywhere I touch, and my hands have started to wander. Gripping her ass, I press the most sensitive part of her body against mine, and a small moan cascades from her mouth as she tilts her head back.

  I'm going to come before this even gets started if she keeps making noises like that.

  Swimming over to the dock, I press her body against it with mine. With my lips only a breath away from hers, I ask for permission. Beg for it.

  I want to kiss her but not if she doesn't want me to. I've fought the good fight since we parted ways. I'm sick of fighting the feelings I have for her. And I know she feels the same. There's no doubt in my mind.

  I don't care if she has a boyfriend. Does that make me an asshole? Yes. Does it make me want her any less? No.

  "I..." she starts, but her voice trails off.

  "You what? I won't do anything unless you want me to."

  "I don't have a boyfriend," she finally says before her lips crash against mine.

  Hell yes!

  For the first time since watching her car drive out of the parking lot at the dock to the ferry, I feel alive. Complete. All I needed was Jade. Back in my arms. Her body wrapped around mine.

  Then it hits me.

  She's been lying all this time.

  Slowing our kiss, I pull away, leaving Jade breathless.

  "Did you bring a condom?" she asks, her hands as eager as the sound of her voice.

  "Wait, Jade." The last thing I want to do is slow this down or lose her right now, but I can't fuck her against the dock without knowing why she lied to me. "Why'd you let me believe you had a boyfriend?"

  Her body stiffens in my arms.

  "You were flaunting Heather, and I didn't want you to think I was jealous or stuck on you. Who cares? Neither of us are attached right now. It can be like last summer even if it's just for the weekend."

  But I don't want it to be just for the weekend.

  "You don't?"

  Did I just confess that out loud? Fuck.

  "No, I don't. I'm sick of pretending I don't want to be with you. I haven't stopped thinking about you since the last time we were together."

  "What about Heather?"

  "We haven't been together in months. I couldn't do it anymore. I felt like I was cheating on her with you when you wouldn't even answer my text messages."

  I don't mention that I pictured Jade beneath me when I had sex with Heather. Or the fact the only time I could get it up was if I was thinking about Jade. Or a number of other things that make me sound like a complete asshole because I was. Heather doesn't even realize how shitty I was to her. She was all sunshine and rainbows, and I was a dark thunderstorm trying to rain on her parade.

  "I was trying to be your friend, Nathan. I knew I couldn't be anything else."

  "You can be everything else," I reply, kissing her with more determination than ever.

  I'm done talking about this. I know enough. She was masking her desire for me the same way I was for her. It was a game of chess that neither of us was winning because we should have been on the same team. The King and Queen, side by side, instead of trying to destroy each other’s kingdoms.

  She needs to feel how much I want her as much as she needs to hear it. Actions speak louder than words.

  And her actions are screaming at me right now. She wants more. Needs more. Craves me as much as I do her. A feeling of reassurance grows in my chest alongside the overwhelming desire.

  And as quickly as we come together, we part when the sound of a zipper echoes in the distance. Footsteps crunch and then a sigh as the sound of something hits the water.

  We're hidden behind the end of the dock. No one can see us. No one knows we're here. Still, my pulse quickens. My heart beats against my chest the same way it would if my mother had just caught me with my hand in the cookie jar before dinner. Trouble was close. Imminent.

  Placing my finger over Jade's trembling lips, I slowly move to the edge and peek around the corner. What I find causes laughter to bubble in my chest. Holding it in, I watch as the culprit of the sounds makes their way out of sight, the zipper slicing through the distance moments later.

 
"Who was it?" Jade asks. "Quinn or Gabby? Did they see us? Are we finally caught?"

  She rapid-firing questions at me as soon as I look in her direction. She's tucked herself in the shadows so I can't see the fear on her face, but it’s evident in her voice.

  "Quinn. He was taking a leak."

  "In the water? Gross!"

  "Are you telling me you've never peed in a lake? In a pool?" She's quiet for a minute, answering me without saying a word. "That's what I thought. He could have gone to the tree line, I would have, but the water was closer."

  "Did he see us?" she asks again, her voice calmer and quieter than I expect.

  "Doubt it. He would have called out to us if he did."

  She lets out a sigh of relief as I pull her into my arms.

  "I don't want to keep this a secret anymore. There's no reason to. We're adults, Jade. We're allowed to date whoever we want. That's the great thing about growing up. People can have their opinions, but they have no weight, no merit, on the decisions we make."

  "Just for the weekend," she replies.

  "I can't do that. I'm not willing to let you go again."

  "No. We need to keep this a secret for the rest of the weekend, maybe a few weeks after that. I need to break up with my boyfriend, remember."

  "Make sure you shatter his heart into a million pieces," I joke, pressing my lips against hers and claiming her as mine.

  Today. Tomorrow. Next week.

  I don't give two shits what anyone has to say about it. This girl is going to be mine forever. I may not have wanted to admit it to myself the first time we met, but I knew. Deep down, I knew I was staring at my forever.

  I’ve gone about this the wrong way, for the wrong reason, thinking with my dick instead of my brain, but that ends now. Whatever happens from this point forward will be with the best of intentions. We're going to do this right.

  Chapter Nine