I'm not stupid, though. I made him go and buy a box at the store the next morning. He knew I wasn't going to let that happen more than once. We'd already taken a big risk.
Hell, we thought we were protecting ourselves and still managed to get pregnant with Jenny. This time, though, I hadn't forgotten to change my patch. In fact, I picked up a new prescription and replaced my patch the morning we left. We were protected.
At least, that's what I’d thought. Until I missed my period.
Twelve days late according to the alarm on my phone.
I've worried myself sick for twelve days.
And now I have to start packing for Gabby & Quinn's wedding. Nathan leaves tomorrow to help Quinn, and Gabby and I are riding up together the day after. Gabby may have planned this wedding, but Quinn is the one who's going to make sure it's perfect for her. Which is why Nathan is going up early to help.
It's incredibly sweet and annoying at the same time.
Not that I mind a little alone time with my best friend before she gets married, but I was hoping to talk to Nathan about a few things before he leaves. Mainly the fact my period hasn't started. I don't want to freak out alone this time.
"Babe!" He hollers, walking through the front door with Jenny in tow.
She's all about doing things herself now. She doesn't want to be carried anymore, unless Uncle Quinn is around. I think it's great, how independent she's becoming, but it also slows us down.
"What took you so long?"
"Little Princess insisted she wanted to buckle herself into her car seat. She refused to let me help her.” I can hear the amusement in his voice.
“Yeah? How'd that go?” I don’t really have to ask. Jenny’s played this game with me before.
"Fifteen minutes of her being frustrated, another ten of her crying after I finally buckled her in, and then she passed out. She reminds me of you."
I don't know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment. I don't give up easily, which I find to be a good quality in a person, but determination can also be frustrating when you fail.
"Good thing she's cute, right?" I joke, helping Jenny out of her coat. She lets me and then wraps her arms around me so I'll pick her up. "You made her mad, Daddy."
Nathan shrugs his shoulder, knowing she'll be over it in a matter of hours and wanting his attention again. But right now, she wants me to cuddle with her, and I'll take it. With Jenny in my arms, my heart feels lighter and I almost forget about the weight I've felt on my chest all day.
I bought a pregnancy test on my way home. The plan was to pee on the little stick as soon as I got here, but it didn't feel right to do it without Nathan. Now I'm feeling uncertain I want to do it at all. What if I'm just late? Or I'm skipping this month. It's happened before and given us a scare.
No need to ruin the weekend. I'm probably not pregnant anyway. I'm not feeling sick like I was with Jenny. I'm not overly tired. Hell, I wouldn't even have thought about missing my period if I hadn't been looking for allergy medicine and spotted the unopened box of tampons. The box I bought when the alarm on my phone went off saying I should be starting my period at any time.
I spent the night convincing myself I have nothing to worry about. That there's no reason to say anything to Nathan yet. And if I am, in fact, pregnant, I'm not that far along, so taking the test tonight won't be any different than if I were to take the test when we get home in a few days. Right?
Not right.
The uncertainty overwhelms me. It's all I can think about.
What if? Are we having another baby and we're still not married? Not even engaged.
I thought he'd propose the weekend we went away. There were more moments than I could count that would have been perfect. Yet he never gave me the impression that he was even considering it.
Of course, this makes a girl worry.
Does he still want to marry me? Have I missed my chance?
But then we come home and all my worries melt away when I see him with Jenny. When I crawl into bed at night and he wraps me in his arms and tells me that he loves me. I remind myself in those moments that it's just a piece of paper. Being together, loving each other, that's what matters.
Not that I don't still want to marry him. I do. Today, tomorrow, next week. That won't change any time soon.
And I want more kids with him someday.
So as I kiss him goodbye the next morning, I realize it doesn't matter if I'm pregnant or not. If we're about to be blessed with another child, so be it. This child came from our love, just like Jenny. Again, the situation isn't 'ideal' in some eyes, but I don't think it would be a bad thing.
Sure, we were scared the first time. We weren't ready to be parents. I still think there are times that we're not ready, yet here we are, raising a mini-me, and we're doing it together. Just like we'll raise this child together.
If I'm pregnant.
Which I'm starting to convince myself I am.
Which is why I pack the pregnancy test in my bag. Just in case I decide I want to take it. After the wedding. Because this is Gabby and Quinn's weekend. Until they say their I dos, I don't want to do anything that could take away even a moment of their spotlight.
"Oh. My. God!" Gabby screams as she opens her door.
I was going to ask if she was nervous, but I have my answer. Nope. Not even a little bit. Not yet anyway. She's bouncing up and down, clapping her hands like a child on their birthday.
"Where's Jenny?" she asks, looking around.
"In the car, asleep. Grab your bags, woman. Let's get you married."
We have a three-hour car ride ahead of us. Then, I need to find a way to keep her occupied for the evening. We're not going to the island until the morning. She doesn't know it yet, of course. Keeping Gabby and Quinn apart the night before their wedding is a surprise Nathan and I planned for them.
The boys are staying at the house we always rent. It's become our place. It holds memories we'll always cherish, and I can't imagine a more appropriate place for Quinn to stay the night before his wedding than the house he once shared with Gabby. The place they met.
What they also don't know is that we rented it for them for the rest of the weekend. Instead of staying at the hotel like they planned to do, we're swapping with them. I know they tried to rent the house, but I beat them to it. If Gabby hadn't called and asked for the owner’s phone number, I wouldn't have even thought about it.
I was nice enough to give her the wrong number so I could buy myself some time to rent it first. Of course, I filled the owner in on what I was doing too, and she avoided Gabby's call for a week before breaking the bad news to her.
"So," I start as I begin backing out of her driveway. "There are a few things I need to tell you and keep in mind my child is sleeping in the backseat. If you start yelling, she'll wake up and start crying. She's teething again, which means she's constantly upset."
Gabby shoots me a side-eye before clearing her throat. "I swear to God, if you're about to ruin my buzz, I'll drive us into a tree."
"That's not the plan, but you might not like the first part."
She doesn't say anything, so I fill her in on everything she doesn't know. I was right. She doesn't like the first part. She assumed we were going directly to the island and she would get to see Quinn tonight. Sorry, bestie.
She does, however, squeal as quietly as she can when I tell her about the house. A wedding gift from Nathan and me to them. Nathan said he told Quinn yesterday on their drive up when I talked to him last night. Apparently he wasn't that surprised we rented it out for them. He must have known something was up when Gabby couldn't get a hold of the owner right away.
Whatever. It was still a big surprise for Gabby, and that's what matters to me. This is her big day. Her moment. And it's going to be an amazing weekend. A celebration of love and a reminder to all of us what we can overcome as long as we have the right person by our side.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
NATHAN
I'm nervous. I don't know why. Things have fallen into place over the last few days. It's going to be perfect, and even if it's not, at this point, I'm going to go through with it anyway.
When Quinn called me Tuesday night and gave me the great news, I almost lost my shit. I was at the jewelry store, looking at rings for Jade. Again. For what felt like the millionth time. Nothing was catching my eye, so when my phone vibrate in my pocket, I answered it even though I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.
I'm so fucking thankful I did.
Gabby's parents called. They found Jade's ring. In the one room we didn't look in. The laundry room.
Why didn't Quinn and I check in there? Because I wasn't about to tell him that Jade and I almost had a quickie at his future in-laws’ house between dinner and dessert. The ring must have fallen out of my pocket and skidded under the washer when Jade hastily shoved my pants down. Thankfully, their washer stopped working, and when the repairman came to fix it and moved the washer, there was my ring.
The perfect ring I bought for Jade two years ago. The only ring I ever wanted to give her.
And now I have my chance.
And Quinn's blessing as long as I wait until after the ceremony.
Well, that's been over for hours. Jade and I are walking along the shore of Lake Huron, and I'm a hot fucking mess. The sky is clear tonight, the moon giving off enough light to guide our path. There's not another person in sight, probably because it’s after midnight and everyone is asleep.
Including our daughter. Who was 'stolen' by Quinn's parents as the reception began to wind down. A preplanned kidnapping as Quinn put it.
It's just me and Jade. This is our moment. Yet I can't seem to stop walking and get out of my own head for long enough to ask her the one question I've been dying to for years.
"What's up with you tonight?" she finally asks, pulling me to a stop.
I'm so fucking grateful right now. I don't think I would have been able to bring my own feet to a halt if I tried. I'm too fucking nervous.
"Oh, you know. Just enjoying this perfect night with the most beautiful woman in the world."
"That's not what I mean. Your hands are clammy. Are you getting sick? Did you and Quinn go out drinking last night?" she asks, releasing my hand and wiping hers down the front of her dress.
Damn, she’s beautiful in the moonlight. Her dress fits her perfectly, tight in all the right places. She tried it on for me a few months ago after she picked it up from the shop, but I don't remember it fitting her this well.
Shaking my head, I think about how she couldn't be further from the truth right now. Yes, we had a few beers at the house last night, but my hands aren't clammy because I'm hungover. They're clammy because the most important moment in my life is about to happen if I could just get past the damn fear of her saying no.
"I'm not hungover."
"Then what is it?"
Now or never, dude.
Reaching into my pocket, I wrap my fingers around Jade's ring and slowly drop to one knee. It takes her a second to process what's about to happen, but when she does, her mouth drops open, and she quickly covers it with both her hands.
Reaching up, I pull her left hand away and hold her finger gently as I open my palm to reveal her ring. It really does remind me of her. I lost her once too, and it was the worst year of my life. The last few months, not knowing where this ring was, or if I'd ever see it again, were some of the hardest.
But none of that matters anymore because here we are. Together. And I have the ring she was meant to wear.
"Jade—"
"Yes!"
Rolling my eyes, I pull the ring back and stare up at her.
"You have to let me ask first."
"Fine. Ask."
Always so sassy. Some things never change, and I hope this is one of those things I'll still love about her years from now. Considering she's been sassier than ever lately and moody as fuck, and I'm still about to ask her to marry me, I have a feeling I'll love her no matter what her mood is.
"Well, are you going to ask me?"
Yup, still want to marry her. That sass hits me in all the right places.
"Maybe. Depends. Are you going to be this sassy when I get you back to the room? You know how much it turns me on."
"If you don't ask me, I'm going to throw you in the lake." She's serious. Her left brow is raised, challenging me to test her. No thanks. I'd rather just ask her what I came here to ask her.
"I fell in love with you on this very island three years ago. I didn't know it at the time, but it didn't take long for me to realize that I was missing a piece of my heart and you were the one holding it hostage. I didn't mean to fall for you. It wasn't supposed to be more than a little fun, but I'm so glad I did. You and Jenny are the best things that have ever happened to me. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for you. For the love you show me every day and for the life we've created together. A life I'd like to spend the rest of showing you exactly how much I love and appreciate you if you'll have me. Be my wife, Jade. Marry me and let me spend the rest of my days treating you like the princess you are. I want to wake up to your beautiful smile every morning and fall asleep with you in my arms every night. Will you marry me?"
Tears are streaming down her face by the time I finish. My speech didn't go as I planned, probably because she interrupted me before I could get more than a word out. In the end, it turned out even better than I wanted it to. I spoke from the heart, and I hope she heard that. I hope she felt it.
I love this woman more than I love myself. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her or our daughter. I plan to prove that to her every day for the rest of my life.
If she says yes.
Which she hasn't done yet. I mean, she already said yes, but that was before I asked, so it doesn't count.
"Jade," I whisper. "Babe. Say something."
She's still staring at me with tears in her eyes. "I know this sounds silly but, I feel like I've waited my entire life for you to ask me that question. You're everything I have ever dreamed I'd have in a husband and more. You're caring and kind. An amazing father. Sexy as fuck." Only Jade would drop the F-bomb right now. She has such a dirty mouth. "Yes, Nathan, I'll marry you. You're my everything."
As soon as I slip the ring on her finger, Jade pushes me into the sand and straddles me. I'm instantly ready to go. Here. Now. All she has to do is slide forward an inch and she'll feel exactly how ready for her I am right now.
But instead of ravishing me like I assumed she would, a worried look crosses her face and she plops down in the sand next to me. This is our perfect moment, the one we've both been waiting for. What the hell just happened?
"I think I might be pregnant," Jade announces without warning.
Okay. That's not what I thought she was going to say. She's caught me off guard, and I'm not exactly sure how to respond. Instead, I take her hand in mine and twist her ring on her finger.
It's a little too big. We'll have to get it sized when we get home so it doesn't fall off her hand. I don't think I'd survive if this ring gets lost again.
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Yes."
"Why aren't you freaking out? Say something."
With my free hand, I tilt her chin so she's looking me in the eye, so she can not only hear but feel what I'm about to say.
"I love you, Jade. I always have and I always will. I want more babies with you. Whether that be right now or years from now. So, if you're pregnant, I'm good with that. Did I expect you to tell me tonight? No. Am I upset? No. Do I still want to sink deep inside you and celebrate the fact you agreed to marry me? Hell fucking yes." That got a smile out of her. "This isn't just about me, though. It never has been. So what do you want?"
Chapter Twenty-Nine
JADE
The timer on my phone goes off, and Nathan and I stare at each other. That was the longest three minutes of my life. I don't remember time standing still the last time I took a pregn
ancy test. In fact, it flew by. One minute I was worried I might be pregnant, and the next the test confirmed I was.
My life changed in the blink of an eye that day. What I didn't know is it was a monumental moment. One I would be thankful for. Not only did it give me Jenny, but in a way, it gave me Nathan. Sure, we were dating at the time, but his reaction to the news, how supportive he was even when I was freaking out and blaming him, made me fall in love with him more than I already was.
"We can look now," he says, pointing to the stick on the counter.
We're sitting on the floor of the hotel bathroom. I'm between his legs, leaning against his chest. His arms are wrapped tightly around me, calming my nerves. I feel safe. Protected. Loved.
No matter what that test says, everything is going to be okay because we're facing the future together. The road ahead of us will be filled with nothing but love and happiness whether we're having another baby or not.
Still, I find myself telling him I'm not ready to look yet.
I want to stay in our happy bubble.
The engagement bliss bubble.
If only for the night.
"The results won't change if we wait to look until morning, ya know," I say, protesting when he attempts to lean forward and grab the test.
"I know, but if you are pregnant, that means I don't need to use the box of condoms I brought with me."
Rolling my eyes, I stop pressing against his chest and allow him to grab the little stick.
Of course that would be on his mind. Sex. Not that I wasn't thinking about jumping him on the beach or dragging him in the water to consummate our relationship moving to the next level.
It's on my mind too. And he has a valid point. If we are pregnant, there’s no need to wrap it up. Sex without barriers is a whole other level of ecstasy.
Not to mention, pregnant sex is hot. There's something about it that drives me crazy. When I'm in the mood, that is. And right now, I am, so we need to take advantage of that fact. There will come a time when I won't even want to be touched.
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