"Of course."
"Let's go, then. Tell the boys to meet us at the ferry."
Gabby looks at me warily but agrees, shoots Quinn a text, and helps me round up the girls.
Five kids between the two of us. Thankfully they all get along well. It's hard enough to wrangle my three every day. When we vacation with Gabby and Quinn, it's nice to have the extra help, even if there are two more kids. Annabelle and Dawson are more chill than my three. Just like their daddy.
My phone rings as we're backing out of the driveway. Nathan. The soon-to-be-ex-husband unless he has a damn good reason he spent the majority of our savings account.
"Yes."
"I thought we were going to ride together and follow each other to the ferry," he says with worry in his voice. He knows I'm pissed, but I doubt he knows why.
"Nope."
"Are you okay?"
"Peachy."
The line is silent for a minute before he finally says he'll see us at the boat and tells me he loves me. I say it back without thinking twice, and I mean it, but my voice is laced with so much anger you can't hear the love I have for this man. This very infuriating, frustrating man.
"There has to be a good reason," Gabby tries to reassure me the entire drive up. Three hours of listening to my best friend remind me why I love my husband. Why I don't want to kill him. She tries to reason with me, but I'm mute the entire trip. My mind is reeling with possibilities.
What did he spend it on?
Are we in financial trouble?
What if something bad happens and now we don't have a little nest egg to rely on?
He's royally screwed us.
And I am going to kill him.
The boys manage to beat us to the docks. I park in the assigned spots for the house we always rent, avoiding eye contact with Nathan while he and Quinn start to unload both cars. Gabby and I take the kids ahead. We come here every year for a family vacation together. The house has become a little more cramped since adding the kids to the mix, but it's also more fun to show them around the island.
With only four rooms, we bunk the girls together in one room and the boys together in another. Nathan and I still take the master bedroom, leaving Gabby and Quinn with the smallest room. They don't seem to mind since it's farthest from all the kids. They have more privacy than we ever will in the master bedroom. I figured that out the very first trip we made up here when I had three littles in my face at the ass crack of dawn begging for pancakes.
The carriage drops us out front, and while the boys help unload, I head to open up the house with a sleeping Nora in my arms. Only one little problem... the key isn't where it normally is. I look around but can't find it, and when I jiggle the handle, the door’s locked.
Fuck.
"Where's the key?" Gabby asks, coming up behind me with a bag in each hand and four kids in tow.
"I don't know, and it's locked."
"Maybe they moved it."
Setting the bags aside, Gabby and I enlist the help of the kids looking for the key to open the door. If we can't find it, we're shit out of luck. Not the way I was hoping to start vacation. I had been hoping to start by sharing a shower with my husband, but that's not happening either now that I'm pissed at him.
"Looking for something?" Nathan asks, a sinister grin on his face.
I want to smack him. So much right now and he knows it.
"The key’s gone."
"You mean," he begins, digging into his pocket and producing a silver key, "this key?"
"Open the damn door," I demand not impressed with his abilities to find a key in a place it shouldn't be.
"Hold your horses a sec." Looking to Quinn who's just joining us on the porch, he asks, "Now?"
Quinn nods and hands Gabby and I each a key.
"The key isn't there because the people who used to own the house decided to sell it."
No! Not our home away from home. Does this mean it's our last vacation here?
"So how'd you end up with the keys?" Gabby asks, her eyes squinted at Quinn who looks like he wants to run away and hide right now. When he doesn't answer, Gabby raises her voice like she's talking to one of the kids. "Quinn."
"We bought it," Nathan says.
"Excuse me!" We did not buy this house. I would remember if I agreed to spending money—
Fuck!
He bought this house without asking me. We can't afford this. Yes, it was a nice gesture. Yes, I love this house, and it holds a special place in my heart. But my heart won't survive if we can't afford to pay our mortgage or feed our children.
"Hold on. Let me explain before your thoughts turn to murdering me."
Too late, bud. I'm past those thoughts. I'm focused on where I’m going to bury your body so I can collect your life insurance.
"Why don't we go inside and talk," Quinn suggests, moving past us and unlocking the door. The kids scurry inside, dragging their bags behind them up the stairs to their rooms.
I busy myself in the kitchen while Nathan takes our bags upstairs. Gabby and Quinn are helping the kids settle in, and I'm frantically searching for the wine opener so I can chug from the bottle I brought.
"We bought the house," Quinn says behind me. "All of us."
Turning, I find Quinn leaning against the counter across from me.
"The owners approached us. They wanted to offer the house to us before they put it on the market because they know how much it means to us. Nathan and I talked it over, and we made them an offer. One we thought they would laugh at considering it was so low. They accepted, and we signed the papers today.
"So, before you jump down his throat, know that this house is a gift for you and Gabby. We didn't make the decision lightly. We knew there was a chance you guys would be pissed at us. We were willing to risk that to ensure this house was always ours. Yours. Gabby's."
"But he spent ten thousand dollars without talking to me," I say on a sigh.
Damn him. He did a nice thing for me and all I can focus on is the money.
"Yup. So did I. Give us a little credit, though. We ran the numbers. We'll each make that back in three years if we can rent this place out every summer."
"Is she still pissed? I can't see her face," Nathan asks from somewhere close by but unseen.
"Nah, man. She's fine. You can come in."
Nathan peeks his face around the corner and smiles at me. "Surprise?"
It's more of a question than a statement, and I can't help but roll my eyes at him. My husband. The sweetest man alive. He also wins the award for most infuriating. There are days I want to strangle him, and others the only place I want to be is wrapped in his arms.
Today started out on one end of the spectrum and is ending on the other.
"No more secrets," I whisper as we crawl into bed. Our bed. In our house.
"Deal."
"I'm serious, Nathan. If you ever pull another stunt like this, even if your intentions are good, even if you're doing it for the right reasons, I might kill you before you have a chance to explain yourself."
"Where were you going to bury me?" he asks, his voice barely containing the laugh that’s bubbling at the surface.
"Let's hope you never have to find out.”
“Does this mean I finally won the war?”
Has he? Our entire relationship has been one battle after the next. We’ve fought together and against each other, yet here we lie. Side by side. Ready to face anything life can throw at us.
“Life is a constant battle, Nathan. I think you know that. The war will never end as long as we keep fighting.”
I don’t need to specify I mean fighting with each other not against each other. Nathan knows.
"I love you, Jade. That's not a secret I'll ever keep from you."
"I love you too."
* * *
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Readers who’ve enjoyed the Reasons series may also
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Chasing Fate
Chapter 1
"What do you mean, you quit your job?" Amber screams, bursting through my front door.
"Exactly what I told you on the phone," I reply, not bothering to look up at her. I need to finish packing these boxes. The movers will be here in the morning.
"I don't understand," she says, her feet in my line of sight now and getting closer. "Jessa, you love your job. Why would you quit?"
"You're right, I did love my job, but it's also my whole life. I've done nothing except work since I graduated. I had big plans, remember? I was going to travel the world, do a bunch of fun things before I settled down. None of that happened. Not. One. Thing." Plopping down on the floor, I lean back against the wall, looking up at Amber. I hope she understands this. I need her to understand why I'm doing this. "Look at your life. You have a husband, three kids, two dogs, and a house. The whole shebang. I want all of that someday, I do, but more than anything else right now, I want to live. I need to. Part of that is living for me."
"So, what? You're going on an extended vacation? You didn't need to quit your job to do that. You could have asked for time off, Jessa. Can you call your boss, explain this to him? Maybe he'll let you have your job back."
Nope. She's not getting it.
"I don't want my job back. I'm almost done packing up my apartment. I sold off most of the big stuff that I won't need. The rest of this," I say, motioning around me, "is going to Mom and Dad's basement until I need it again."
"And where are you going to live then?"
"It doesn't matter where; it’s how. I'm going to live free. That's the point. I cashed in the vacation time I never used, cleared out my savings account. I figure I have at least a year’s worth of traveling ahead of me and enough money to travel for longer than that."
That's a bit of a lie. I might have enough for the next year if I don't go crazy.
"So, you're leaving. When?"
It's hard to miss the disappointment in her voice. Amber's been my best friend since college. When I decided to pledge a sorority, I ended up in her house with her as my "big sister". She took good care of me, we had a lot in common, and, despite our two-year age difference, got along great. When she graduated, I panicked and quit the sorority. Things weren't the same without her around. After I graduated, I was lucky enough to find a job close to her and her new husband. She was six months pregnant with their first, a boy named Jefferson, and it was nice to be able to be here for her when she needed me most.
"I'm staying through the holidays. My plane leaves for New York the Monday after Christmas."
"When are you coming back?"
From New York? I'm only staying for a week at most, but I don't want to tell her that. She'll want my entire itinerary if I tell her that.
"I should be back a little after my birthday."
"What? That's four months, Jessa. What are you going to do in New York for four months?"
We are going to talk in circles until I give her the details she's looking for. It's always been this way. She can tell when I'm lying or withholding information from her. She claims it's a gift. I disagree with that statement wholeheartedly.
"Listen, I'll make sure to keep you updated. You know I'm going to call you every few days. Why can't you support my wanting to do this? It's not like this hasn't been planned for years. I just never made the time to make it all happen until now."
"What are you talking about? I don't remember you mentioning traveling before."
I swear she would forget her own name if her husband was any less needy. Any given day, he asks for more shit than I do from my parents in a year. Then, there are the kids who are constantly calling for their mother. I don't know how she handles that with such grace, but this is upsetting her.
Digging into my front pocket, I pull out a folded-up piece of paper and hand it to her. Amber looks at me suspiciously as she unfolds it. When she finally directs her attention to the paper, I let out a breath. She's making me nervous. I don't like it that she can see the truth, even when I do a great job of hiding it.
"You still have this?" she asks, giggling as she reads. "I completely forgot about this. I think I threw mine away back in college. This is what you're doing?"
"Yep. I plan to check each and every item off that list. Maybe I'll even add a few more things to it."
My bucket list. The ten things I wanted to do most before I died. We both wrote one back in college as part of a sorority bonding thing. There are a few things on that list that don't interest me anymore, but I'm going to do them anyway. There's a reason I put them on there to begin with even if I don't remember why.
"This won't take you four months, Jessa. Six weeks tops. And you can't do it all alone." Pausing, Amber looks up, making eye contact. Wiggling her eye brows at me she continues. "Maybe that hunk next door could go with you."
"Stop it, Amber. We have a different kind of relationship. You know it's not like that between us. We don’t even go out to eat together.”
"Maybe it should be. You only live once, right? Why not make every moment worth it? And from what you've told me, he's worth a few extra moments."
"Why thank you," a deep voice says.
My front door is wide open. Jackson is leaning against the frame, his body consuming more space than an average human being. His forehead is glistening with sweat, and he has a dark line that runs from his neck to his torso where the sweat has soaked through his shirt. Not that his shirt covers much anyway. He's ripped the sleeves off.
Shit! I'm staring.
"Hey, Jackson. Amber was just leaving," I say, pushing myself off the floor.
"No, no I wasn't. I was just telling Jessa that she needs to ask you to go on vacation with her. She shouldn't be traveling alone."
Before I think to grab her arm or my list back, Amber's standing in front of Jackson. Handing him my list, Jackson reads it over, grinning the entire time. Either he likes some of my ideas, or he's laughing at me. It doesn't matter. Nothing is going to stop me from doing this. Things are already in motion.
"Are you really going to do all these things?" Jackson finally asks.
"I am. I leave next week,” I reply confidently.
"And you want company?" There’s a shit-eating grin plastered across his face. He thinks he’s hot shit. Well, he is, but I’ll never tell him that.
"Of course, she does," Amber replies before I have a chance to. "Just think about it. You two would have a lot of fun traveling the world together."
"Amber," I growl. "Quit trying to make Jackson feel like he needs to go with me. I can take care of myself. I don't need a chaperone."
"What if I want to go with you?" he asks, his voice less certain that I expect. His shit-eating grin has softened into a smile.
Amber's head whips in Jackson's direction before he even finishes speaking. I'm only a millisecond behind her. What did he just say? Does he want to come with me?
"I can't ask you to do that. I plan on being gone for a while, and you have a business to run. Some people," I emphasize, looking at Amber even though she's avoiding eye contact with me, "have jobs and responsibilities. They can't up and leave on short notice."
"The gym runs itself. I don't have to be there every day. That's what I have managers for. What about your job?" Jackson asks.
"I quit yesterday."
Nodding like he understands completely, Jackson pushes off the doorframe and steps inside. Quickly gathering her things, Amber scoots past him and waves, closing the door behind her. I'm going to kill her for this later.
"Want to tell me what's going on, Jessa?"
"Nothing's going on," I lie. We may be intimate from time to time, but we don't share things with each other. Not personal things anyway.
"Well, even though I know you're lying to me, I'd still like to come with
you. If that's okay." Looking over his shoulder at the closed door behind him, I see him planning his escape if he doesn't like my answer.
Guess what? You wanna come with me? Fine. The company would be nice, anyway. Plus, I've heard Paris is romantic. If I'm going to make this trip the best it can be, having Jackson on top of me would be an amazing perk.
"Sure. We leave for New York Monday morning. I'll text you the flight number."
"I wasn't expecting it to be that easy," he says, taking a step in my direction. "I thought I would need to convince you how much fun we could have together if you let me come."
He's got that look on his face, the one I normally love. All I can think about right now is how my bed isn't put together anymore and I have no idea which box I packed the condoms in.
"What's going on in that big, beautiful brain of yours, Jessa? I can see you're thinking hard about something right now. Or, are you thinking about something hard?" he asks, waggling his eyebrows at me.
Laughing, I step toward him and swat him in his chest. I know we're headed to my bedroom and there's nothing I can do to stop it, but why would I? I may not be in love with Jackson, but I do love the way he makes me feel. That's why our arrangement works out as well as it does. Neither of us is attached to each other. It's all about the sex. It always has been. Two years strong. Now, it looks like our arrangement is taking a road trip. Let the fun begin.
My parents are not happy with my decision. It's all they wanted to talk about over the holiday weekend. After the first few hours I was there, I avoided them like the plague. It didn't work out well since half of our family decided not to come into town with an impending snow storm. That also meant we weren't leaving the house. Once the storm passed, I took a walk down our snow-covered street just to get away from them.
I love my parents dearly, but they like to talk themselves in circles. Over and over again, I explained my plan to them, and they still didn't understand why I wanted to leave. I left the part about Jackson accompanying me out of it. They've never heard me mention him before, and if I were to do it now, there would have been even more questions and concerns. I can hear them now.
For All The Right Reasons Page 18