“Oh, boy, I guess I picked the wrong exit,” Audra said as she sped through a stop sign she didn’t see.
A little farther down the road, Jenna saw a light through a thick patch of trees to the right of them. It appeared to be a house off in the distance, probably the owners of the rundown farm they were about to pass. At that moment, Jenna made up her mind. She wanted out of Audra’s car. Even if there wasn’t anyone home at the house in the distance, she wouldn’t have more than a mile run to get to the nearest gas station. It’s not like they were that far away from civilization.
When Audra slowed the car down at the next stop sign, Jenna threw open her door and made a run for it. She moved along the side of the road looking for the best path to run to make her way to the trees, but it was hard to see in the dark and through the pouring rain. When she heard Audra’s car speed up, she cut right and nearly lost her footing when her ankle started to roll down a slope toward a culvert on the side of the road. She righted herself quickly and then tried to leap over the water rushing out of the tunnel, but she misjudged, and her right foot came down hard on a slippery rock causing her to lose her balance and crash headfirst into the exposed concrete section of the culvert.
“Jenna! Oh my God! Jennaaaa! Oh, dear Lord, what have I done?”
Jenna heard the faint sound of Audra’s voice calling her name as she fell face down into the water that was pouring out of the culvert. She knew she had to get up, but she couldn’t move. Her head was throbbing, her lungs were filling with water . . . every part of her body felt cold . . . everything went black.
Chapter Sixty-Two
The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
Six and a Half Months After Jenna’s Disappearance
Suspect charged in murder of 16-year-old Jenna Kemp
A 43-year-old man has been arrested and charged with the killing of 16-year-old Jenna Kemp. Kemp was reported missing by her parents in October of last year.
The suspect, Jacob Allen Bickers of Thiensville, Wisconsin, an employee of Pax Pharmaceuticals, was previously questioned in the disappearance of Kemp back in November. At the time, police found no evidence that Bickers had been in contact with Kemp on the evening she was last seen. In addition, Bicker’s wife told police that he’d been home with her and their two young children that evening.
New evidence suggests that Bickers provided false information in his first statement to police, and Julie Bickers has since recanted her statement. Eyewitness testimony also places Bickers near the Kemps’ home on the night of her disappearance. Another key piece of evidence was found during a search of land in Kewaskum which belonged to Bickers’ in-laws at the time of Kemp’s disappearance. The land has since been re-deeded to Bickers and his wife after the passing of her mother in late November.
According to the Briarwood Police Department, Bickers met Kemp on the popular chat room website ChillChat.com.
Bickers has been charged with second-degree intentional homicide and is being held without bond at the Milwaukee County Jail until he appears in court early next week.
Chapter Sixty-Three
Friday, May 25, 2018
Thomas handed the photo of Stella in the backyard chasing her new puppy back to Audra. He missed his little girl more than anything. A tear threatened its way out of his eye, but he wiped it away quickly, not wanting Audra to see him cry. He would have plenty of time for crying later. There wasn’t much else for someone like him to do in prison.
“She’s growing so fast. Thanks for letting her keep the dog.”
Audra nodded. “It would have been nice if your parents had asked if it was okay, but under the circumstances, what was I supposed to do?”
She gave Thomas the look he’d grown to dread, so he checked the time. Ten minutes remained of their visit. He knew he had to choose his next words wisely if he wanted to avoid another one of Audra’s breakdowns.
Thomas reached across the table for Audra’s hand, and she eagerly gave it to him. The way she still loved him after everything he’d confessed to doing to Jenna continued to amaze him.
Sometimes he wondered if he should confess about the other things he’d done, but he kept coming to the same conclusion. If the police found out about all the girls over the years, he’d end up watching Stella’s entire childhood through pictures from behind bars. He decided his remorse for everything he’d done and the time he would serve for what he did to Jenna was enough of a price to pay for his sins. “Will you bring Stella next time?”
Audra nodded, her pained expression growing more prominent by the second. She wasn’t going to be able to contain herself.
“Audra, I think we should say goodbye now.” Thomas gripped one of her hands with both of his. “You look like you could use some rest. Maybe take a nap or get yourself one of those facials you like before you pick up Stella from my parents’ house.”
“I don’t need rest, Thomas. I need you home with Stella and me.” Audra started to cry.
“Audra, please. We’ve been over this a million times. What’s done is done. I need to pay for my sins. I need to make up for what I did to Jenna.”
Audra responded by crying even harder, just like the last time she’d visited. Thomas released her hand, pulled a tissue from the box on the table, and handed it to her.
“What about Stella? What about me? Why did you have to do this to us, Thomas? Why couldn’t you have just let God judge you? You’re a good man now. You’ve changed. I know that counts for something in His eyes.”
“What’s done is done, Audra.”
“Poor Stella. Everyone knows. We’d have to move across the country to escape all of their judgmental eyes and whispers.” Her body shuddered as she started rocking in her seat. This was something Thomas hadn’t seen before, and he wondered if maybe his mom was right. Maybe Audra needed to see a therapist.
“Audra, I’ve told you, you don’t have to stay so close to visit me. You can move, start over someplace else. I won’t be in here forever. We can talk on the phone and write letters until I can join you and Stella when I get out. Things will work out. You’ll see.”
“How? You’re going to be a registered sex offender for the rest of your life. What will you do for work? Why couldn’t you have just kept your mouth shut? Those diary entries of hers wouldn’t have held up in court. It would have been her word against yours. A respected pastor versus an out of control teenager.”
“Stop, Audra. Just stop. It was what I did to Jenna that caused her to act the way she did. I don’t doubt that for a second.” Thomas grabbed a tissue for himself and dabbed his downturned eyes. The remorse he felt was unbearable. “It’s my fault she’s gone . . .”
“No, that’s not true,” Audrea whispered as a vision of Jenna running and falling on that rainy night flashed before her eyes.
“. . . because had she not been in such emotional turmoil over what I did to her when she was younger . . .”
“No, you’re wrong.” Audra wished she’d never shone her phone’s flashlight on Jenna’s face that night because for the rest of her life, every time she closed her eyes, she’d see Jenna’s dead eyes and all the blood that had been seeping from her forehead.
“. . . she never would have met Jacob Bickers . . . And she wouldn’t be gone now. So, I deserve to be here for that too.”
Bile made its way up Audra’s throat as she recalled dragging Jenna’s limp body to the abandoned barn near the ditch where she’d fallen and hit her head on the culvert. She’d panicked that night and figured it was only a matter of time before Jenna’s body was found, but days turned into weeks, and then weeks turned into months. Audra never felt any sense of relief, not for a second.
“Thomas, I have to tell you something.”
Thomas wiped a stray tear from his chin and looked up from the table to meet Audra’s tortured gaze. Her chest heaved, and she gripped the edge of the table as if she would tip it at any moment. Tears were cascading from her chin. Thomas didn’t even recog
nize the woman before him, the way her eyes darted from one corner of the room to the other like a caged animal.
“What is it?” he asked.
“You’re not responsible for Jenna’s disappearance. And neither is Jacob Bickers.” Audra thought about how she’d driven to the Bickers’ property in Kewaskum after reading an article about the land they’d inherited from Julie Bickers’ parents. She closed her eyes and pictured herself tossing Jenna’s phone out the window into a patch of evergreen trees as she drove by.
“Audra, what are you talking about? How do you know that?”
“Because I was the last person to see her that night.”
Chapter Sixty-Four
Bonnie
Saturday, June 9, 2018
We had a beautiful memorial service for Jenna today. The entire ceremony took place outdoors, and everyone was asked to wear a pair of sneakers. Pastor Jensen, who retired from the position Greg took over back in September insisted on leading the service even though he can barely walk. Jenna always liked him and always had a smile for him.
Everyone who loved Jenna was there—Keeley’s family (including her brother who came home from Madison), Delaney’s mom and dad, Dustin’s family, and Leighton and her mom. Besides Jenna’s closest friends, there were dozens of other classmates, teachers, administrators, colleagues of Joseph’s and mine, and most of our extended family.
Even Julie Bickers showed up for the gathering at our home after the burial. I’d invited her to the entire day’s events, but she had an appointment to close on the sale of hers and Jacob’s house this morning. During the time Jacob was in prison, she’d filed for divorce and put their house on the market. It made no difference to her when Jacob was cleared of the charges against him after Audra confessed to witnessing Jenna’s fall and concealing her body. She’s still intent on putting all of Jacob’s lies and infidelity behind her, and I don’t blame her one bit.
I was surprised when Lenore and Greg didn’t show up. Eli had told me he planned to bring Hannah, but his parents, still angry over the fact that we’ll never forgive Thomas for what he did, refused to attend. Lenore had called last week and said if we couldn’t accept Thomas back into our good graces, then we couldn’t accept them either. I didn’t disagree and told her they could consider themselves uninvited. I never thought in a million years that they’d skip Jenna’s funeral, though. It just goes to show that it’s possible to not even really know your own flesh and blood.
But Eli was there with Hannah like he said he’d be, and they even brought Stella. I’m sure that was one heck of an argument with his parents, but I’m also positive Eli wasn’t going to have it any other way due to the promise he’s made to himself to make sure Stella grows up knowing that Jenna is not the reason her mother and father will both end up spending decades in prison, the way her grandparents would lead her to believe. For now, Greg and Lenore have temporary custody, while Audra is in jail awaiting sentencing for not reporting Jenna’s death and hiding her body. Audra’s recovering drug-addict mother has also filed for custody of Stella. She’s even fighting Thomas’s right to see Stella at all, given what he did to Jenna. Lenore was outraged by this because “Audra is a murderer, for crying out loud.” I can only laugh at my sister’s ridiculousness. Honestly, is one of Stella’s parents really any better than the other? In all the confusion, I pray that Eli will remain steadfast in his promise to watch over Stella.
Epilogue
Keeley
Saturday, July 14, 2018
My quadriceps are beginning to ache, and my hands are numb, but I just passed the mile twelve marker. At least I don’t have much farther to go. I only signed up for this race four weeks ago, so I’m not as prepared as I should be, but any pain I’m feeling is nothing compared to the pain Jenna must have felt all those years.
Jenna and I had a bucket list of ten marathons we wanted to complete someday. The one I’m running now—the Hawaii Ultra Run—is number one on that list. I plan to check off every event in as short of time as possible, mostly for Jenna but also because you never know what life has in store for you.
In the last stretch, I reach up and grip the silver locket I’ve been holding off and on throughout the race, whenever I’ve felt like I can’t go another step. Mrs. Kemp gave me the necklace on our flight to Honolulu. Inside the small oval is a picture of Jenna and me from the first 5K fun run either of us ever participated in. With the locket around my neck, Jenna will be with me for each event, cheering me on every step of the way.
Just when my muscles are beginning to lock up and I don’t think I can continue, I see signs up ahead with mine and Jenna’s names on them. They say things like Go Keeley and Jenna!, You’ve got this Keels and Jenaboo!, and our names inside a big heart. Holding the signs are Mrs. Kemp and my mom, Delaney, Leighton, and Dustin. The closer I get, the louder their cheers become, but for some reason, the only thing on my mind is a memory from when Jenna, Delaney, and I were kids and at the merry-go-round. Jenna had just gotten done telling Delaney and I a story she’d written about a little girl who was lost and couldn’t find her way home. She’d met many new friends along her journey back to where she came from, but she never ended up finding her way.
“That’s it?” Delaney had asked.
“Well, it doesn’t have an end yet,” Jenna replied.
“What do you mean, it doesn’t have an end?” I said. “I like how you ended it. I like unsolved mysteries.”
“Yeah, me too, I guess,” said Delaney.
“Not me.” Jenna shakes her head. “Every story should have an ending. A happy ending. So it’s not done yet.”
“Fine, can we help you figure out how it ends then?” I asked.
She nodded, and we spent the rest of the afternoon spinning and staring up at the sky as we brainstormed ways for the little girl in Jenna’s story to get her happy ending.
When I stagger across the finish line, everyone rushes to me and gives me hugs. Jenna’s mom whispers in my ear. “Thank you, Keeley. Jenna would be so happy if she was here right now.”
A Note from the Author
Thank you for reading SPIN. Please let others know about your experience by leaving a review on the retail site(s) of your choice, Goodreads and/or any other book-related platform. Your support is greatly appreciated.
I love hearing from readers! Please connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.
~ K. J. Farnham
Afterword
I’m not a trauma expert, but I know what it’s like to live with memories of sexual abuse. If you or someone you know has been sexually abused or assaulted, please reach out for support or counseling if you haven’t already done so. The following resources can help.
Australia
1800RESPECT – https://www.1800respect.org.au/
Canada & United States
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) – https://www.rainn.org/
United States
National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673)
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network – https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/sexual-abuse
Jade Eby, Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor and Coach – http://jadeebycoaching.com
UK & Ireland
The Survivors Trust – http://thesurvivorstrust.org/
Chat Rooms and Message Boards for Sexual Abuse, Incest, Ritual Abuse and Rape Survivors
Fort Refuge – http://www.fortrefuge.com/
Recommended Literature
Maltz, W. (2012) The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse. New York, NY: William Morrow Paperbacks
Acknowledgments
First and foremost, thank YOU, the reader, for the time you devoted to Jenna’s story. Your readership and support mean the world to me.
I’m so grateful for all my wonderful beta readers. Kayla, Abby, Ella, Sonia, Brooklyn, and Phoebe – Your feedback helped make this book so much better! Polly Barreto, Marnie Ide, Alica Flechner
, Jenny Hanson – Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to read and critique this book. I sincerely appreciate your continuous support and encouragement!
Jade Eby – Thank you not only for being a beta reader, but also for offering to be a source of support for survivors of sexual abuse. I’m in awe of your bravery.
To Jessica Wink with the West Allis Police Department – Thank you for sharing your expertise on missing persons investigations!
Thank you to all the individuals who helped piece together and promote this book: Amy Queau of Qdesign (cover), Carol Ann Eastman (blurb), Leah Campbell (editing), Karan Eleni of The Letterers Collective (editing and formatting), Giselle Cormier of Xpresso Book Tours, and Kylie Frankel of Kylie’s Fiction Addiction.
Shout out to Farnham’s Faithfuls! Together we have built an amazing online community, and I’m so grateful for your support. I hope you all stick around for many books to come. (Extra special thanks to Marnie, Polly, and Jenny for being the best group administrators around!)
To my husband and children, who collectively asked if I was done writing this book no less than one million times, thank you for your patience and support. I love you guys so much! Also, to my son Cole, you’re the best brainstorming buddy ever. Thank you for listening to me talk about this book nonstop, for your enthusiastic questions, and for encouraging me to just keep writing whenever I hit a rough patch.
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