by Susan Hatler
“He’s not going to ruin your life,” I said in a tight voice. So many conflicting emotions were swirling inside of me, but I would handle things for my client. “I’ll take care of your situation. I always do. I promise you that whatever Riley’s lawyer throws at me, I’ll throw ten of that back at him.”
There was a long silence. My mind was whirling. If Riley wouldn’t return that vase, then I’d make sure he wouldn’t get a penny in alimony.
“Thank you for your help,” she said, then she began to sob. “This is awful. After all he’s done, I still . . . love him,” she said, on a hiccup.
“I’m sorry you’re going through this,” I said, as helplessness washed over me. I didn’t know what else to say to her at that moment. Of course she still loved her husband, but feelings weren’t what divorce was about. It was about logic and doing what’s best in the long run. In Noelle’s case, it was about protecting her assets from Riley’s erratic business ideas.
My heart broke for her, though. I should’ve kept her strong. I should never have told her to give Riley a second chance, or convinced her that marriage counseling could work for her. I should’ve kept my mouth shut and protected her the best I could.
“You know what hurts the most?” she asked, drawing in a stuttering breath. “Riley kept saying that I never supported him, and that he didn’t want any baggage keeping him from his dreams. He called me selfish and needy.”
I felt a stab of pain in my heart at the word “needy.” That one word jolted me awake after a long weekend fog. I remembered when Curtis had called me needy. That same word had given me the strength to vow to never need a man, to never beg from a man, and to never give my heart away. A vow I never should’ve pushed aside, especially not for Gabriel Hart.
“Don’t worry, Noelle. I’ll take care of everything.” I hung up the phone as a wave of determination surged through me. It was time to leave this little cabin in the woods, and get back to reality. It was time to head back to Blue Moon Bay.
I took a deep breath, trying to fight back the swell of hurt and anger that kept pushing against my chest. As I packed my bags, the strains of “Silent Night” drifted upstairs through my closed bedroom door. A big part of me wanted to go down to the kitchen to talk to Gabriel. Or, I could just give him a second chance. But how could I possibly do that after what had happened to my client thanks to him?
Poor Noelle had taken my bad advice and had given Riley a second chance he obviously didn’t deserve. Look where that had gotten her, too. Short one Ming Dynasty vase, that was where. No, I wouldn’t talk to Gabriel. I’d just get out of here as fast as I could.
I picked up the dress I’d worn the first night Gabriel had cooked for me. There was a small red sauce stain on the front. I winced, remembering how I’d softened toward Gabriel that night. I shook my head, vowing to get rid of that stain as soon as I got home. Otherwise, the garment would forever remind me of Gabriel Hart and that was not acceptable.
A knock-knock-knock came from the other side of my bedroom door.
“Yes?” I gritted my teeth, and stuffed the sweater into my suitcase as the door opened. Gabriel came in and it felt like all of the air was sucked out of the room.
“Hey.” He smiled at me. “What are you doing up in here? Are you ready for your surprise?”
His tone sounded so cheerful and upbeat that I momentarily forgot how mad I was at him. I was almost able to step back into that heavenly fog of cinnamon-scented cookies baking in the kitchen, the crackling fire in the living room, and walking in the sparkling snow outside.
Then, an image of Noelle’s sad face flashed through my mind.
I raised my chin. “No, I’m not ready for my surprise. I’m never going to be ready for a surprise from you.” I watched his brows come together. I could tell that he was taken aback by my sudden mood shift, but I plowed ahead. “You knew, didn’t you?”
He shook his head slowly. “I knew what exactly?”
“You knew that Riley had no intention of getting back together with Noelle. You let me babble on about how glad I was that they were getting a second chance in their marriage, but all of that time you knew he was done. I can’t believe you would lie to me about that,” I said, turning back to my packing.
“I never lied to you about anything,” he said, softly.
“But you aren’t denying that you knew, are you?” I stared at him, seeing by the expression on his face that he’d talked to Riley and what Noelle had told me was true. “A lie of omission is still a lie.”
I wished that I could rewind the clock. But that wasn’t reality. Heaving a sigh of frustration, I turned to my dresser. The pine twig that had broken off the Christmas tree the other day sat on my dresser. I’d kept it to remind me of our adventure in the fog and now I’d leave it behind.
“I couldn’t have told you anything about Riley’s phone call, anyway,” Gabriel said, sliding his hands into his pockets, and leaning against the doorframe. “You know I can’t break attorney-client privilege.”
“Do you even know what your client did to mine?” I snapped, pulling open my sock drawer and grabbing an armload of clothes from inside. Normally, I would’ve made sure that each item was folded and placed just so, but I was so mad at the moment that all I wanted was to get out of there with whatever shreds of my heart were still intact. “While Noelle was researching marriage counselors and buying into your whole ‘everyone deserves a second chance’ nonsense, Riley was making plans to eviscerate her. I should never have advised her to give him a second chance.”
“I didn’t tell you what you should tell your client,” Gabriel said.
“No, but you waxed on about the importance of second chances,” I said, pulling out my second suitcase, and packing that one haphazardly, too. “I was foolish enough to let myself believe that some part of the world worked that way. I let myself believe in all this nonsense.” I waved my hand around the room. “I never would have given my client such bad advice if it hadn’t been for you.”
He pushed himself off from the doorway and stepped toward me. “Would you betray your client’s confidence?” he asked, his eyes hooded and serious.
“Of course not,” I snapped, my forehead wrinkling. “I don’t expect you to either. But you could’ve hinted that there might be a problem. Instead, you let me prattle on about how wonderful it was that they were getting a second chance, and how happy they were going to be. And you knew that Riley was plotting against Noelle.”
He took another step toward me. “Be reasonable, Harper. You know it would be unethical for me to say anything.”
“I am finally being reasonable,” I snapped. Clearly I wasn’t going to make him see things from my point of view, and there was even less of a chance that he was going to admit that he had done anything wrong. So I zipped my suitcase, and grabbed both of my awkwardly-packed bags and brushed past him as I headed for the stairs.
“So what?” He followed me, close on my heels. “You’re just leaving? You’re going to give up on what we have without even talking about this?”
“You’ve proven that I can’t trust you. If I stayed, then I’d be sucked right back into all of this fantasyland. I don’t need that in my life,” I said, without bothering to stop or turn around.
Behind me, Gabriel exhaled audibly. “This is exactly what happened with my ex. Things get a little tough and she just bailed. Just like you’re doing.”
I halted abruptly at the bottom of the stairs, and spun around. How dare he compare me to his ex! “I’m sure she had a good reason, too,” I quipped.
He winced. “We were having problems, so she took up with another guy and bailed. Is that your idea of a good reason?”
My heart clenched in my chest and I felt terrible.
“I’m sorry,” I said, wanting to put my arms around him. But I held back for my own good. “That doesn’t change anything between us, though. I can’t trust you.”
“But—”
“No,” I said. “Nothi
ng you can say will change my mind. You could’ve told me about Riley and Noelle without actually telling me. But you didn’t. And, honestly? The fact that the two of them have broken up again only proves my point that love can’t last.”
I set my bags down on the entryway tile. “Look at what we do for a living, Gabriel. Do you really believe that love actually works?”
“Yes.” He stepped toward me, reaching out to take my hand. His hand felt warm and strong around mine. “My parents were very much in love.”
Tears sprang into my eyes, but I blinked them away. “I forgot something in my room,” I said, pulling my hand away and hurrying for the stairs before I changed my mind and stayed.
When I got back to my room, I crossed straight to the dresser and picked up the pine twig. It would always remind me of Gabriel, but I couldn’t part with it. Looking around the room, I felt a sharp pang of sadness knowing that I would never be back.
If there were just some way. . . I drew in a sharp breath, and shook my head. No, I wasn’t going to let myself fall back into bad habits. Look at what happened to Noelle when she decided to take my obviously-misguided advice. No amount of Christmas perfection was going to make me forget my vow to never let myself need a man again, not even someone as amazing as Gabriel. I couldn’t trust him, and that was all I needed to know.
Taking another deep breath, I headed back downstairs. Gabriel stood by the door, his gaze meeting mine with a look of sadness. “Don’t leave, Harper.”
“I have to.” My throat tightened. “Your parents may have been in love, but your dad probably never gave your mom any reason to doubt him.”
“No,” he countered, shaking his head. “The difference is they were dedicated to each other no matter what. Other people just bail.”
“I’m not willing to take that risk,” I said, picking up my bags. Then I headed out the front door into the perfect blustery wintery world.
A huge part of me didn’t want to head back into the real world. But if I didn’t, then there would be nothing left of my heart when Gabriel was done with it.
Chapter Eight
I pulled into the garage of my townhome, feeling like I’d been run over by a truck. A steaming bag of Chinese take-out from Uncle Shuang’s sat on the seat beside me, but I had zero appetite. I grabbed the take-out and headed inside, deciding that I could haul my bags in later.
While I should’ve been relieved to finally be home, the whole experience at the cabin shimmered in the back of my memory like a dream. I could hardly believe that I’d left Tahoe only earlier in the day. I entered my townhome, and dropped my keys into the ceramic bowl perfectly placed on the antique wooden table in the foyer. The familiarity of my home brought no relief to the stress that had been threatening to crush me since I’d left the cabin.
Flipping on more lights, I went into the kitchen, and set my bag down on the white countertop. I grabbed a plate from the cabinet, and opened the paper bag. The smell of chicken, fried rice, and eggrolls hit me full force and my stomach growled. Instead of filling my plate in a pleasing way, I reached into the bag, snagged one of the eggrolls, and took an enormous bite. Groaning, I hurriedly dumped food onto the plate.
As I went to grab a fork, I glanced around my townhouse with the sleek barstools sitting by the breakfast bar, the leather sofa and armchairs arranged perfectly in the living room, and the minimalist art hanging on my walls. I had no Christmas decorations of any kind. The realization hit me like a punch in the gut. The place felt empty, void, without all the holiday decorations we’d had at the cabin. Maybe the place felt empty without Gabriel.
I tried to ignore that last thought. . . .
My gaze dropped to my plate and I couldn’t help but remember the first time Gabriel cooked for me. All I could do was clean up after him, because I’d been so stressed out by his mess. I laughed softly to myself. I had been so concerned with cleanliness I hadn’t been paying attention to what was right in front of me. I didn’t have to worry about that here at least.
My smile faded as I remembered the betrayal I’d felt when I found out Gabriel had known that Riley wasn’t trustworthy. That meant that Gabriel wasn’t trustworthy, and I’d been foolish enough to let him into my heart. He was the reason I’d given Noelle such terrible, sappy advice. I was the reason she had decided to give her soon-to-be-ex husband a second chance.
I had called Noelle on my car ride home, and assured her again that I would take care of everything. She’d sounded grateful but so sad that I had nearly cried. Thinking about my phone, I realized that I hadn’t checked my home phone yet. I glanced to the other side of the counter, I saw that the light on the answering machine was blinking.
My heart leapt and my pulse sped up as I wondered if Gabriel might’ve called. That thought was chased away quickly with the question of how he would’ve gotten my home number. I shouldn’t have cared so much, but my hands were shaking so hard that I set my plate down with a thump, and could barely punch my PIN into the phone to retrieve my messages.
* * *
You have two new messages. Message one:
Hey, Harper. It’s Charlie. Merry Christmas Eve! How is your vacation going? I can’t wait to hear all about your long weekend of R and R. I’m in town and done with filming, so we need to have lunch when you get back. Call me when you get this. Bye.
* * *
Message two:
Harper? It’s Kara. I am so sorry that we messed up the reservation. I can’t believe we did that. You sounded frantic in your messages. Are you okay? I’ll try you on your cell.
* * *
I set the phone back in the receiver, and bit my lower lip. I knew that was an old call from Kara, but I couldn’t help wondering how she was doing with her own marriage problems and Evan working so late every night. I wondered if I should call her. My stomach was still growling, and I was disappointed that Gabriel hadn’t been one of the messages, even though I knew I shouldn’t be thinking about him.
Pulling out my cell phone, I scrolled through my contact list until I found Kara’s number and tapped on it. While I waited for her to answer, I took another bite of an eggroll. I was just swallowing when she answered.
“Hi, Harper,” she said. “How are you? Still enjoying the cabin?”
“Actually, I just got home.”
“You’re home?” She sounded surprised.
“Yes, I have a client who needs me,” I said, knowing that the last time I had talked to Kara I had been waxing poetic about how well things were going with Gabriel. She had felt so bad about the mix up that I couldn’t stand the thought of making her feel worse by letting her know how we’d crashed and burned. “How are you and Evan doing?”
She giggled. “We’re really good.”
“That’s great,” I said, taken aback. “Things are going better than the last time we talked?”
“Yeah, things are worlds apart from when we talked,” Kara said. “I’d been acting so silly complaining about my sweet husband. He gave me my Christmas present early.”
“I’m so glad for you,” I said. “What was it?”
“He set up a scavenger hunt,” Kara said. “He set up clues at each of the places that were significant to our relationship. We spent today going from place to place. It took him forever to set it up. That’s why he claimed that he was working late every night for weeks.”
“That’s the sweetest,” I said, picking up my fork and poking at my congealed chicken. Kara had been mistaken about her husband. Gabriel had done loads of sweet things for me, but I couldn’t see how I was mistaken about him lying to me.
“It was sweet,” Kara agreed. “He even had us go to the place where we took our first boat ride. He used to be really into sailing, and I’d lied to him about my sailing abilities. He took me out, and I spent the entire time hanging over the side of the boat, puking my guts out. When we ended up at the dock today I was terrified that we’d go back out on the water. We just had dinner on the dock, thankfully.”
; I laughed with her. “I’m so glad that everything is going so well between you two.”
Kara began telling me about more of what her husband had done for her. It was great to hear her sound so in love after all of these years. The kinds of things that Kara’s husband had done were the kinds of things that Gabriel had done for me this past weekend. Kara had made it through a rough patch with her marriage because she was committed, and now it sounded like they were more in love than ever.
That made me wonder if that could happen for me and Gabriel. Maybe we could come through our rough patch stronger and more in love than we had been before.
Wait, in love? Had I really just had that thought? There was no possible way that I could have fallen for him that fast. Could I? My head told me no, but my heart wasn’t agreeing. I swallowed hard, and realized that maybe I wasn’t as self-aware as I thought I was.
Kara and I said our good-byes, and I sat down on one of the bar stools. My anger had cooled off and I was more confused now than I had been when I left the cabin. Kara and her husband had weathered their trial, and now they were still happy after all these years. And Gabriel’s parents had been happy throughout their whole marriage.
I had to admit that maybe love did work for those who were committed. My eyes burned. I rubbed a hand over my eyes. Maybe now would be a good time for me to start unpacking. It would distract me from all the confusing thoughts that were scrambling around in my head.
I went back into the garage and retrieved my purse and my suitcases. As I straightened up, my purse’s contents spilled onto the front seat. The tiny pine twig that I had kept was sitting in the middle of the pile. I picked it up, inhaling the heady scent of Christmas, which reminded me of Gabriel. Tears pricked behind my eyes. In truth, everything was reminding me of him. Holding the pine branch in my hand, I dropped to the cold garage floor, with tears pouring down my cheeks. I had no idea what I was going to do now.