by Ella Hayes
Olivia glanced at Alessia, who was now peering closely at the scarf she’d draped over the back of a chair—a present from her dad—navy silk printed with bumblebees and dragonflies. She smiled. ‘Lucia, would you like me to look after Alessia?’
Lucia’s eyes widened. ‘No, no, no! I wouldn’t want to impose—’
‘But I’d like to—I’ve just finished editing my first wedding and I was about to go out for a walk.’ She turned to Alessia. ‘Would you like to go for a walk with me, Alessia? We could go adventuring...’
All smiles, Alessia bounded over and reached for her hand. ‘Sì!’
Olivia laughed. ‘I understand that word.’
Lucia smiled hesitantly. ‘Well, if you’re sure...it would be very nice for her.’ She lifted an eyebrow. ‘She seems to have taken to you, Olivia.’
Olivia grinned, squeezed Alessia’s little hand in hers. ‘And I’ve taken to her too.’
Lucia beamed. ‘I’ll tell Maria then.’ She turned to Alessia. ‘Now, be a good girl for Olivia.’
‘Sì, Nonna.’
‘Oh, and Olivia? Could you please tell Zach that I’m having dinner out, but I’ll be back before he has to go?’
‘Of course.’ Olivia wondered where Zach was going. Perhaps he had a date. A little knot started twisting in her stomach just thinking about it. She was so distracted that she didn’t notice Lucia walking towards the door until the older woman turned around and looked at her. It was a long look, wistful.
‘You know, in this light you remind me a little of my daughter.’
Olivia gripped Alessia’s hand. She didn’t know how to respond.
Lucia smiled. ‘I hope you have good adventuring, as you call it.’ She winked at Alessia and then disappeared through the door.
For a long second Olivia didn’t move, then suddenly she became aware of Alessia staring up at her. She looked down, caught a fleeting impression of Zach in Alessia’s eyes which took her by surprise. She smiled. ‘Shall I bring the camera? I could take some nice pictures of you for your daddy and for Nonna—would that be nice?’
Alessia nodded enthusiastically.
‘Okay then, let’s go!’
* * *
The light had mellowed and the day looked softer now, the colours richer. Olivia wanted to explore the outer reaches of the property, but soon discovered that walking with a three-year-old required an unhurried pace. Alessia kept stopping to examine the smallest things: a fallen leaf with curly edges, a hairy caterpillar looping along the ground... But it was nice listening to Alessia’s chatter, pointing things out to her. Olivia realised how often she was repeating her dad’s words, telling Alessia the proper name for the cloud they could see, or the name of a flower...smothered memories unfolding like petals as they walked.
By the time they reached the dark hush of the olive grove, Alessia was flagging. Olivia picked her up, felt the little arms snaking around her neck. ‘Shall we have a rest?’ Alessia nodded and suddenly she felt guilty for bringing her this far. There was an old bench under a nearby tree and she carried Alessia there, put her down then sat down beside her. Within moments, Alessia was scrambling onto her lap. For a second Olivia hesitated, then she slipped her arms around her. It felt nice, a little strange.
She’d started noticing things about Alessia that reminded her of Zach—like the way she walked and the way she looked when she was concentrating on something. As she held Alessia, she got the strangest feeling that she was holding Zach too, and it felt like a little release, like an outlet for all the confusion in her head. She lowered her face, felt the softness of Alessia’s hair against her cheek and pulled her a little closer.
* * *
Zach switched off his computer and stretched. His meeting with the accountant had felt interminable. He’d struggled to concentrate because he’d been thinking about his set for the evening. Playing in the bar was the highlight of his week, the only time he could forget everything and lose himself in music. He got to his feet and walked over to the window. The view was spectacular. He could see the formal garden with the craggy Amalfi Coast beyond—blue sea and sky—but he wasn’t really looking at it. He was wondering what to do about Olivia.
He hadn’t seen her all week and that was fine. He understood. If she didn’t want to talk about things, he could respect that. But he couldn’t help wondering if she was avoiding him because of the other thing that happened—or rather the thing that hadn’t happened. It had confused him too, sent his own thoughts wandering into unfamiliar territory.
Their afternoon by the paddling pool had reminded him of how joyful life could be. Alessia and Olivia seemed to have an easy compatibility and he’d been drawn into it, hadn’t wanted Olivia to leave because it felt right. It felt like the way things were supposed to be.
When Izzy died, Alessia had barely started walking so they’d never had that kind of family time together. The paddling pool afternoon had been a new experience for him, and he’d loved every minute of it. He could still hear Alessia’s laughter as Olivia poured the water over his head, still see the way Olivia had been looking at him, her eyes shining with mischief. And then later when she’d been crying, and he’d held her, there’d been that moment when he’d started noticing how good her body felt pressed against his, and he’d realised how much he missed being warm and close to someone who was not his daughter. He’d wanted to tilt Olivia’s face to his, kiss her, lose himself in her warmth and her softness.
He didn’t know what to make of his thoughts. For so long he’d been putting one foot in front of the other, not really thinking about anything except achieving Izzy’s dream. Working long hours, not spending enough time with his daughter. And now Olivia was here, bailing him out, messing with his head. Was there a way to put things straight, to draw a line in the sand? It should be easy. Liv was working for him, which meant that their relationship ought to be strictly professional, but she was living in his house, and Alessia liked her. He liked her—and he got the feeling that she liked him too.
He walked slowly out of his office and closed the door behind him. Avoiding each other wasn’t going to solve anything. He needed to see her, be friendly with her. That was the only way he’d be able to put things back on the level. She’d told him she wanted to watch him play at the bar. Maybe he could ask her if she still wanted to go. Hopefully, if he made it sound casual, it would break the ice.
He was heading down the stairs when two figures caught his eye through the half-landing window. One tall, one small, walking down the cypress avenue.
Olivia and Alessia!
He wondered where Lucia had gone, hoped that Olivia wasn’t feeling put upon—he hadn’t brought her here to be his daughter’s babysitter. He took the stairs two at a time, plunged through the grand doors and hurried down the stone steps.
‘Papà!’
Alessia started running towards him, a happy smile on her face. ‘Hello, monkey!’ He scooped her up then turned to Olivia and smiled cautiously. ‘Babysitting again?’ She looked pale, he thought, a little tired.
‘Lucia had a...thing...in town.’ He saw a hesitation in her smile, which bothered him. ‘Maria was going to mind Alessia but, since I was going for a walk anyway, I offered to take her with me.’ She stepped closer, touched Alessia’s cheek. ‘We had a nice time, didn’t we?’ Alessia nodded, let her head drop against his. Olivia looked at him apologetically. ‘She’s tired. I probably walked too far... I’m not used to kids.’
‘You could have fooled me!’ He stroked Alessia’s hair. ‘You’re really good with her.’
‘That’s because she’s adorable. She’s easy to lo—’ She stepped back, fiddled with the camera around her neck. ‘I was going to take some pictures, but it never happened...’ A smile played on her lips. ‘We found a butterfly...’
‘And some ants, Papà!’
Olivia laughed, warm light filling her eyes
again. ‘Yes! Lots of ants—and we sang the song!’
‘The song?’
Olivia giggled, looked at Alessia and started to sing. ‘“Now the army ant did say...”’
Zach felt his cheeks creasing into a smile as Alessia joined in.
‘“I don’t want to march all day...”’
As the words of the old song came back to him, he couldn’t resist singing too. ‘“I want to dance not drill, tap my feet until, I’m a true formicidae.”’
He was laughing hard now; so were Olivia and Alessia. When Alessia warbled the last line again, he laughed even more, joined in with the next verse, widening his eyes, acting the fool, being utterly, joyfully silly. When he noticed that Olivia had stopped singing, he looked around then laughed all over again. She was standing a little distance away, taking pictures.
‘Now that was a golden moment!’ She widened her eyes, shot him a cheeky smile. ‘I couldn’t resist.’
It felt so good to see her, so good to see her smiling again that Zach only realised he was staring when she looked down, clicked a little switch on the camera. She took a step backwards then lifted her hand. ‘Oh! Lucia said to tell you she was having dinner out but she’ll be back before you have to go...’
For some reason his pulse was climbing. ‘Right. Thanks...’ She was gazing at him and he could tell she was about to walk away. He’d intended to throw the bar invitation into the conversation casually but the ant song had stolen his thunder. Now he was going to have to invite her more formally. He drew in a breath. ‘I’m playing at the bar tonight... I told you about it, remember?’
She lifted her chin. ‘That’s where you’re going!’
‘Where else?’ He smiled. ‘Do you still want to come?’
Her expression softened. ‘Well, I have finished editing the Hadleigh wedding so I’m free...’
He could feel Alessia’s fingers twirling in his hair, hear her giggling in his ear. ‘So that’s a yes?’
Olivia smiled, eyes full of light. ‘Yes—I’d like that, thank you.’
‘Great! We’ll leave at half-eight. I’ll meet you out here.’ Alessia’s fingers were raking his hair upwards now. He grinned. ‘That’s assuming my hairstylist has finished by then.’
* * *
Olivia pulled back the doors of her wardrobe and gazed at the contents: three summer dresses suitable for wedding days, a pair of faded jeans, two pairs of smart shorts, one pair of denim cut-offs, assorted tops, a pair of white crops and a denim jacket. Three pairs of sandals and a pair of blue sneakers were arranged at the bottom. She hadn’t brought much, intending to buy anything else she needed locally, but that hadn’t happened yet. She ran a hand over the hangers. The choice of outfit was important. She wanted to look nice, but not done up.
Seeing Zach again, singing the silly song, laughing together—it had felt so right. She’d missed his smile, the kindness in his eyes... She reached for the white crops and a black V-necked tee shirt. Going to see him play this evening, spending time with him on her own would be good for her, would give her a chance to redraw the boundaries in her head. She laced up her sneakers, pulled on the denim jacket. She considered lip gloss, decided against. It was going to be hard, but somehow she had to plant Zach firmly in the friend zone.
As she walked through the house she felt a little surge of happiness. Getting away from Casa Isabella for the evening was just what she needed. A change of scene. She was dying to see Ravello, dying to see Zach in a different environment, playing his guitar. He’d looked a little wistful when he told her he played, called himself a failed musician. He’d studied music so he must have been serious about it once, but now he was running a wedding venue and playing in a bar once a week...
‘Hi!’
She stopped in her tracks. He was walking along the hall towards her, guitar case in hand. He was wearing jeans, not chinos, and the kind of tee shirt women like to steal: faded, butter-soft. Sexy. She swallowed hard, reminded herself about the friend zone. ‘Hi!’
He smiled. ‘Ready to go?’
There was an energy about him—like electricity. He couldn’t wait to play, she could tell. She smiled. ‘Yes—I’m excited!’
‘Don’t be, please.’ He grinned. ‘I couldn’t stand the pressure.’ He opened the door and she stepped outside into the mellow dusk. The scent of roses and oleander flowers drifted on the air as they went down the steps towards the waiting car. He put his guitar case on the back seat then opened the door for her. ‘I was going to drive with the hood down, but I’ll cover up if you think you’ll be cold.’
‘No, down’s good.’ She smiled. ‘I’m a sucker for a convertible...’
‘Me too—obviously!’ He smiled and closed her door, strode round the car and slipped into the driver’s seat. ‘So, thanks again for looking after Alessia—and huge thanks for teaching her that song.’ He shot her a mischievous smile as he started the engine. ‘I now have the mother of all ear-worms playing in my head. There’s every possibility that a few chords of the ant song might make it into my set tonight.’
She laughed. That song... All afternoon, memories had been trickling back, things her dad used to say escaping from her own lips as she’d walked with Alessia. It was still so strong inside her, the good stuff, that for a while she’d let go of her pain. ‘You were thirteen’—that was what Zach had murmured as he’d pulled her into his arms. At twenty-four, could she sift through those feelings again, find a grown-up perspective on things? She looked at Zach, his face shadowy in the twilight. It was unlikely that he’d bring up the subject of her family again in case it upset her, but she needed him to know that she could actually talk about her dad without turning into a snivelling mess.
‘My dad taught me that song.’ Zach threw her a glance and she gave him a little smile. ‘We were camping one time and we found an ants’ nest in the woods, just like Alessia and I did today. I was worried that the ants would come into the tent. I kept thinking I could feel them crawling on me, so my dad taught me the song...and I didn’t mind the ants after that.’ She could tell that he didn’t know what to say. She took a deep breath. ‘You know, they weren’t even arguing... I had no idea they were planning to separate...so that morning, when Dad told me... I was—’ She closed her eyes. ‘You’ve no idea how angry I felt, with Dad especially, because he’d been my rock and I felt like he’d left me in the lurch... I’m sorry I wasn’t able to talk to you about it the next day, especially after—’
‘You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.’ Zach drove through the gates then stopped the car. ‘I understand everything. Your parents’ split was a massive shock. On its own it would have been bad enough but facing down those kids at school—’
A deep, dark ache stirred inside her, spreading upwards until she could feel it at the base of her throat. She swallowed hard, whispered, ‘Kids at school?’
He frowned. ‘Yeah...isn’t that at the heart of everything?’
She stared at him.
‘The teasing... Sticking up for your parents’ choices... Fighting their corner... Then having the rug pulled, just like that! It would make anyone angry.’
A car spun past, catching them in its headlights. Olivia looked down at her hands. How could it be that Zach had shone a light into shadows she didn’t know existed? She felt his eyes on her, a little unravelling of something deep inside herself. She looked up, noticed the illuminated clock on the dashboard. ‘We should go or you’ll be late.’
He looked at her for a long second then threw the car into gear and pulled onto the road, accelerating hard. After a few moments he said, ‘Are you okay?’
She stared ahead at the darkening valley, at the lights glinting from the houses scattered over the slopes. ‘Yes—or at least I think I will be.’
* * *
‘Salve, Zach!’
Smiling faces turned towards them as they stepped through the doorwa
y. Olivia hung back. This was his night. She didn’t want to saddle him with tedious introductions or with having to translate for her. In a corner there was a chair with a microphone stand set at guitar height. She threaded her way through the dark wooden tables and flickering tea lights until she found an empty seat close by, then she sat down and looked around.
It was an interesting interior, dark and intimate. In the past it might have been a wine cellar. The ceilings were arched, the walls were rough stone, illuminated at intervals with projector slides of music notes. Cool! She looked over to the bar, caught Zach’s eye. He smiled at her, motioned to the beer bottles in his hand—one was for her—and carried on talking to a good-looking man in a pale linen jacket. The place was filling up fast. She figured that most of them were locals, the way they came in and sat down, the way they ordered without looking at the drinks list. She looked over at Zach again. He was talking to some other people now, trying to demonstrate some musical chord, struggling because of the beer bottles in his hand. He was animated, into it, she could tell. As she watched him, she couldn’t stop her eyes travelling down... His jeans looked soft. They hung from his hips in just the right way. She should see the shape of his behind, wondered how it would feel to slip her hand into his back pocket.
Friend zone!
She shifted in her seat, slipped off her jacket, draped it over the back of her chair. When she looked over again he wasn’t there and then she saw him making his way through the tables towards her, smiling.
‘Sorry that took so long—I got caught.’ He handed her a beer. ‘I start in ten, so I’m going to go tune up. I’ve told Mario not to let your drink run dry.’
‘Thanks, but I’m here for the music, not the drinks!’