by Ella Hayes
‘You like?’
‘Mmm—it’s delicious.’
He looked pleased. He motioned to the sofa. ‘Let’s take the weight off. Is that what you say?’
‘Yes! Your English is very good.’ She dropped onto the long sofa, ran her hand over the leather. It felt soft, yielding. Expensive. Milo sat on the sofa too, a little distance away. He took a sip from his glass, crossed one leg over the other.
‘So, forgive me, but what did you mean by an outlet when you were talking about Zach’s playing?’
‘I meant that maybe playing gives him a way of expressing his grief...’
‘Grief?’ Milo frowned. ‘What grief?’
‘I...thought you knew...about his wife... She died.’
Milo’s face blanched. ‘I had no idea...’ He shook his head a little. ‘I don’t know Zach very well... I only moved here a year ago. What happened to his wife?’
‘I don’t know. I haven’t wanted to ask—but I do know she passed a couple of years ago.’
‘Oh, dear.’ To her surprise, Milo’s eyes began to fill with tears. ‘This sad news is setting me off...’
She leaned forward. ‘Are you all right?’
He put his glass down, wiped his eyes with his hands. ‘I’m sorry; forgive me. I get emotional because I lost someone too—it’s why I came to Capri. I couldn’t stay in Naples after Sergio died...’
Sergio!
‘He had a cancer of the pancreas... We found out too late.’ He sniffed, took a drink from his glass. ‘I keep myself to myself most of the time, so no one knows. I don’t socialise much...but I like the bar, listening to the music. It’s nice.’
She thought of Zach on the boat that morning—‘If I look happy it’s because I am.’ Was that the truth or had he been trying to make her feel better about the boat? Was he still trapped in his grief like poor Milo? That night in Ravello, when he’d reached out to her, that look in his eyes. The threads inside her head were tangling again.
She took a small sip of wine then set down the glass. ‘I suppose it must be hard to move on when you’ve lost the love of your life...’
Milo’s eyes filled with fresh tears. ‘It’s not hard, Olivia. It’s im-pos-sible.’ He began to sob and for a moment she felt completely helpless, then she did the only thing she could think of. She moved along the sofa and wrapped her arms around him.
* * *
Zach began to untie Django from her mooring then stopped and re-tied the rope. He couldn’t leave. He’d brought Olivia to Capri so he could keep an eye on her—on Milo. Jetting off around the island would defeat the object. He sighed, scaled the short ladder and jumped aboard. He yanked a bottle of water from the fridge near the helm, took it onto the foredeck and sank onto one of the sun pads.
When they’d set out this morning he’d felt great. He’d worked through his sadness about getting the boat out, had loved every minute of their little voyage to Capri. And Olivia had loved it too—the views, the speed, the feeling of flying across the water. Her face had been a picture, glowing, full of life.
Alive!
It had been a long time since he’d felt like that. But then somehow, up there, looking around the property, he’d started noticing little looks between Olivia and Milo.
Noticing or imagining?
He swallowed hard. And then she’d said he could go, that she’d be fine with Milo. He snapped the cap off the bottle, swigged down an icy mouthful of water. Had she really been trying to save his sanity or was there another reason she’d wanted him to leave? He looked up at the house on the cliff, and suddenly an image came to him—Olivia in Milo’s arms. As his stomach churned, he suddenly realised that he was sick with jealousy.
He dropped his head into his hands and groaned. He liked Olivia—liked her so much that the thought of her being with anyone else was driving him crazy. He hadn’t realised until this moment how far gone he already was... She was doing something to him, making him think about things that were too difficult to think about...like caring for someone again. But he was stuck. How could he think about moving on when he’d hadn’t said goodbye to Izzy? Her face that night, laughing... ‘I’m fine, Zach. Stop worrying.’ The aftershock, the dazed limbo and always Alessia’s tragic eyes, looking for her mamma, crying for a loss she couldn’t articulate. He’d fallen on the renovation of Casa Isabella like a half-starved animal, worrying at it like a dog with a bone. He never thought he’d step back, begin to see a wider view. But it was happening. Olivia was making it happen, and she had no idea what she was doing to him. Instead, she was in the house on the cliff with Milo Beneventi.
He pressed the cold bottle to his forehead. He was scared to look back, scared to look forward. He didn’t know what to do... All he knew was that he had two hours to talk himself off the ledge.
* * *
‘Zach!’
It took him a split-second to take in the open wine bottle, the two empty glasses, her hands wrapped around Milo’s. Her eyes. Milo’s eyes. His gut twisted tight. Just minutes ago, on the boat, he’d reminded himself that Olivia was a free agent, but he hadn’t expected to walk in on something like this.
Breathe.
‘Hi! How did it go?’
Smile.
She was standing up, smiling. ‘Really well.’
Milo was standing up, smiling. ‘Olivia is a joy to work with!’
The pair of them, smiling at each other, exchanging little looks. It was an effort to control his voice. ‘That’s great! I’m glad it went well.’
Milo motioned to the wine bottle. ‘Would you like a drink, Zach?’
He couldn’t imagine anything worse. All he wanted to do was escape. He spied Olivia’s bag and tripod in the corner.
‘I’m sorry, Milo, but we have to get going.’ He gave a little shrug. ‘Something came up.’ He turned to Olivia. ‘Are you good to go?’
‘Yes.’ He could tell she was trying to read his thoughts. ‘The gear’s all packed.’
He went for her bag and tripod. When he looked up, she was giving Milo a hug.
‘I’ll send the photos as soon as I can.’ She stepped back, looked deeply into Milo’s eyes ‘You take care now. I’ll see you soon.’
Zach realised he was grinding his teeth. ‘Liv, I’m sorry, but we really do have to go.’ He leaned forward, shook Milo’s hand. ‘Sorry, Milo. I’ll see you around some time...’
He started walking towards the terrace, heard Olivia’s quick footsteps behind him. He didn’t look back but hurried down the steep winding steps which led to the jetty. He stood aside to let her onto the boat first, then handed her the tripod.
As she took it from him, her eyes locked on his. ‘What’s happened?’
He fought back a wave of guilt for dragging her away on false pretences. ‘Nothing’s happened.’
‘You said, “Something came up”—what came up? Is everyone all right—Alessia?’
Her sweet concern for his family increased his misery. He picked up the camera bag, handed it up to her. ‘Everyone’s fine.’ He attempted a reassuring smile, then untied the boat, threw the rope on deck and jumped aboard.
‘So, what’s up then?’
I think I might be falling for you.
He broke away from her gaze, took the wheel and turned the key in the ignition. The engine kicked and slowly he backed Django away from the jetty.
She came to sit beside him at the helm. ‘What’s going on, Zach? I feel like you’re mad at me and I don’t understand...’
He throttled forward slowly, pointing the boat towards the open sea. When he turned to look at her, he hated the bewilderment he could see in her eyes, hated himself for being the cause of it. He sighed. ‘I could never be mad at you, Liv. I just need to get back, that’s all. I... I’ve got a meeting.’
‘Oh! I didn’t know.’ She dropped her sunglasses over her
eyes. ‘You didn’t mention it before.’
She was staring into the distance, her lips pressed together, a small frown creasing her forehead. He wished he could tell her what he was feeling, but he was a mess and he knew that whatever he said would come out all wrong. He pushed the lever, felt the boat lifting in the water, but this time she didn’t laugh and squeal.
The wind tugged at his hair, the growl of the engine filled his ears and in his head, over and over again, he replayed the scene he’d just witnessed. He’d walked in on something. They hadn’t tried to hide it... Their hands had remained clasped, their affection obvious. He felt his jaw tighten as he tried to bury his anguish. Olivia was single and he had no right to feel put out if she liked Milo. He glanced at her, noticed goosebumps on her bare arms. He rummaged under his seat for his old hoodie and handed it to her, raising his voice over the engine noise. ‘You’re cold—take this!’
She gave him a little smile, eyes hidden by her shades. ‘Thanks!’ She pulled it on, wrapped it tightly around herself. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her drawing the hood against her cheek, breathing in the scent of the fabric, and for some reason the small action seemed to ground him.
He thought about the night in the bar, what he’d seen in her eyes as he was playing, the way she’d looked at him on that narrow street in Ravello. It felt wrong that she could like Milo. How could she like Milo when, from the very first moment she’d looked at him, he’d felt something between them?
How could she like Milo?
Suddenly she was pushing her sunglasses up, leaning in so he could hear her voice. ‘Zach! How much do you know about Milo?’
Was she tapping him for information? A fresh wave of misery crashed over him and he swallowed hard. ‘Virtually nothing.’
She stood up and pressed her back against the windscreen so she was facing him. The breeze was buffeting her hair, loosening it from her ponytail, but she didn’t seem to notice. She looked at him squarely, raised her voice above the engine. ‘So...you don’t know that he moved to Capri after his partner, Sergio, died?’
It took a moment for her words to sink in. ‘Sergio?’
She nodded, shouted, ‘Sergio was the love of his life! Had pancreatic cancer... They found it too late.’
In his head, images scrolled in slow motion. Milo’s eyes filled with—sadness! Deep looks... Clasped hands... Liv stroking Milo’s shoulder as she was saying goodbye. He could see it all so clearly now. She’d been comforting Milo, not... He groaned inwardly—he’d been such a fool, blinded by jealousy, and she’d worked it out, seen right through him. She was gazing at him, hair blowing all around her face, and he could hear all the words she wasn’t saying.
He shook his head, spoke half to himself. ‘I’ve been an idiot...’
‘What?’ She was frowning. ‘Can we please stop the boat? I can’t hear you!’
He throttled down, switched off the engine. The boat reared and fell back into the dark shifting water, rolling and pitching, little sloshing sounds framing the fresh silence. He dropped his hands from the wheel, moistened his lips.
‘I’ve been an idiot... I thought—’
‘I know.’
She was looking at him, reading him like a book, he felt, but he didn’t mind. It was a relief to be found out. He smiled, gave a little shrug. ‘I suppose I’ve blown my cover...’
Her eyebrow lifted, warm light playing across her irises. ‘Probably.’
He took a step towards her, wished he could stop his heart banging against his ribcage. ‘I like you, Liv.’ Another step forward. ‘I didn’t realise how much until today...’
Her eyes were holding his, hair softly blowing across her cheek.
‘So...?’ Her voice sounded husky.
He reached a hand to her face, felt her melting into his touch, and then slowly he lowered his mouth to hers. Warmth...softness...the taste of wine on her lips... For a moment he lingered there, letting the sensation wash over him, and then he was pulling her closer, desire catching him like a wildfire, torching every nerve in his body.
He pulled her hard against him and she sighed, slid her hands over his shoulders and up into his hair. Her lips were parting and he was taking everything, kissing her deeply, losing himself in her. It had been so long since he’d had this—felt this—he couldn’t stop. He worked his hands under the hoodie, under her blouse, senses swimming as his fingers connected with the warm smoothness of her back. He could feel her hands sliding into the back pockets of his jeans, drawing him closer, and it was almost too much. It occurred to him that he could anchor the boat, take her down into the cabin—but was he ready? She was here to work for him...and there were things he needed to get straight in his head. He liked her so much, wanted her so much, but he had to slow down, take a moment.
He took her face in his hands and broke off breathlessly. Her eyes were hazy, her cheeks flushed, lips swollen. He steadied himself, pressed his forehead to hers. ‘Wait—’
‘Wait?’
‘Just for a moment...’
He felt her arms sliding around his waist, the softness of her hair on his neck as she laid her head against him. He wrapped his arms around her, buried his lips in her hair. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘You don’t have to be sorry.’ She pulled her head away from his chest, looked into his face. ‘It must be hard...after losing...’ She pressed her lips together. ‘Milo says it’s impossible for him to move on...’
He studied her face, seeing little glimmers of light in her eyes. What was he seeing there? Fear? Longing? Something else...?
He sighed. ‘I don’t think it’s impossible... It’s just that everything feels so new...like uncharted waters.’ He smiled. ‘Maybe I need to stay in the shallows for a while. Can you understand that?’
She touched his cheek, smiled. ‘The shallows are warm and safe. They’re a good place to start.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
OLIVIA WATCHED ZACH and Alessia romping around in the water. Minori beach was a world away from the sands of West Wittering and those shivery mornings with her dad. ‘Come on, Liv. It’s bracing.’ That cold slab of wet sand under her feet which made her arches ache, that breathless tiptoe advance, the icy creep of water up her legs, her dad laughing. He used to pull her in. The breath would freeze in her lungs as the waves closed over her shoulders. She’d come up kicking and gasping, then laughing because it wasn’t so bad after all. ‘You’ve got to dive right in.’ That was what he used to say.
She drew her legs up and hugged her knees. Over the past couple of weeks she’d found herself thinking about her dad quite a bit, teasing out all the little knots in her head. Since the day he left, she’d been blaming him for everything. But Zach had been right. The real feeling of betrayal had sprung from the years she’d spent rebuffing jokes about her family from the kids at school. She’d felt so small and stupid when it came out that her dad had left. Not that they’d joked about that exactly, but she’d seen it in their eyes, she’d felt the warm breath of their whispers. That was when her self-confidence had evaporated and that was when the fantasy had started. Her fixation with finding a perfect man, a man whose heart belonged only to her. A man who wasn’t afraid to commit. A man who wanted to marry her.
Zach had Alessia on his shoulders now, holding her hands, scuffing through the little waves. Olivia couldn’t help smiling as she watched them. Since arriving in Italy, her narrow view of perfection seemed to have expanded. Being with Zach was helping her to see things differently. That day on the boat, when he’d kissed her for the first time, she’d been filled with dismay when he pulled away. She’d thought he was changing his mind. She’d given him a get-out, told him what Milo had said about moving on, but he’d taken her by surprise with his answer and then he’d said, ‘Everything feels so new...like uncharted waters...’ She’d never looked at things that way before. She’d focused so much on what he’d had with
Isabella that she’d never thought that there could be anything new for him to discover. His words had bolstered her spirits that day.
‘Hey!’ He lifted Alessia off his shoulders and dropped to his knees on the sand. ‘Why didn’t you come in?’
Blue eyes, still giving her butterflies. She reached a towel out of the bag and wrapped it around Alessia tightly. ‘What have I got here? A bug in a rug?’ Alessia giggled, shrugged out of the towel and plonked her bottom onto the sand. She picked up a little spade, started to fill a yellow plastic bucket.
Zach was rubbing his shoulders with a towel, smooth golden skin, biceps flexing as he worked the towel over his body. She released a slow breath. How could she tell him she was getting tired of life in the shallows?
She smiled. ‘I was happy watching.’ He had just the right amount of dark hair, well defined abs, the dusky trail leading... ‘Besides, it’s nice for you two to be together on your own.’
He laid his towel on the sand. ‘It was lovely in the water, wasn’t it, Alessia?’
Alessia looked up, quirked her mouth. ‘It was as-ton-ish-ing.’
Olivia laughed. ‘I’m never going to live that down, am I?’
He stretched out beside her. She felt his hand on her bare back, his fingers moving slowly up and down. Her stomach clenched. Did he have any idea what he was doing to her? She felt his lips on her shoulder. ‘What about dinner tonight?’
She turned to look at him. ‘You mean, going out for dinner?’
He nodded, fixed her with a darkening gaze. ‘Somewhere nice...’
She smiled. ‘Somewhere nice sounds...very nice!’
His lips grazed her shoulder again. ‘I’ll pick you up at seven.’
She could feel his fingers at the base of her back tracing warm circles round and round and, as she held his gaze, she could see a steady heat building. She swallowed hard, forced out an even breath. ‘I’m looking forward to it.’