by C. M. Lally
Reporter: “Enigma, to ask the obvious— where’s your trainer and hot, new partner? You seem to be all alone up there while your opponent has his entire entourage.” Fucking asshole. Hot, new partner? I’ll fucking punch a hole through him.
“I thought the focus of this conference was about my opponent and me. I don’t like the question. I’m the one who’s going to win the fight. What’s it matter to you who’s up here with me?”
Reporter: “It looks like you don’t have any support. Will that jeopardize your chances in this fight?”
“Lou and Jade are busy. They’re getting ready for this fight in their own way. They support me. Rebel’s supports me. My family and fans support me. I don’t need people standing here in silence behind me to know what-the-fuck I’m gonna do to win.”
Reporter: “Bulldawg, how have you trained differently knowing that The Enigma hasn’t ever lost a fight?”
“I haven’t changed a thing. He’s never lost a fight because he’s never fought me in the cage. Every dog has their day, and tomorrow will be mine. It’s gonna feel great to solve the mystery of The Enigma.”
“There’s no mystery. Everyone knows I’m the best and you’re about to choke and get your ass leashed, Bulldawg.”
I stand and face him. His accent tells me he’s backwoods Southern with the intelligence of a piss ant. He couldn’t even make himself presentable for the media, showing up in his trainer shorts and raggedy MMA t-shirt. He presses his massive chest into mine, our faces less than an inch apart. I can smell the wintergreen of the gum he’s chewing. Backwoods for sure. The camera bulbs flash everywhere for the photo-op. Liam steps between us, separating us back into our chairs.
Reporter: “Mr. Rebel, when is the next fight scheduled and who will it be?”
“In another eight to ten weeks. We are featuring the Enigma here until we have another contender to back. For now, we are exclusive to his fights. The chosen opponent hasn’t confirmed yet, but we expect that to come after the fight this weekend. Stay-tuned. And if there aren’t any more questions, let’s get the guys out front for some more photo-ops to wrap this up.”
When the flashes all disappear, and there aren’t any more microphones to shove in my face after we leave the stage, I see Jade standing in the far corner. She’s in a dress, looking nothing like the pretty, grappling chick I train with.
I walk toward her, and she pushes herself off the wall to stand tall next to me. I grab her hands and hold them up for inspection. Yes, indeed; she had them manicured and painted.
“They look nice,” I say, releasing them. She takes a step backward putting some distance between us.
“You’re an asshole.”
“Yes, this is true.”
“So, no apology or words of regret?”
“Jade, leave it alone. I’m not that kind of man.”
“That’s right. Testosterone keeps you from admitting you were wrong and expressing your emotions. You’re nothing but an empty gym junkie.” The sound of disappointment in her voice sends a chill up my spine.
“Is that all you have to say?”
“No, but those are the strongest of my words. The rest would be meaningless to you. I’ll be here tomorrow to coach you through the Jiu-Jitsu moves because I won’t be the one to let Lou down. See you later.”
I watch her take every step to the door, pushing it open and letting it close behind her.
The knots in my stomach twist again, harder and tighter making it hurt. I’m fucking this up with her, but I can’t fix it right now.
I head into the locker room and grab my bag, debating whether to change my clothes or not. Shawn is waiting for me at Dontonio’s for my traditional pre-fight dinner. I’ve never had one without Lou. We’d talk strategy and timing, syncing our schedules for the day. Without him beside me, I already feel like I’ve lost him when I walk out of the locker room alone.
Liam is over near the cage area, directing the workers on how to set up the rest of the chairs for tomorrow night. As I approach, he swings around in my direction. “I was coming to look for you.”
“Good, because we really need to talk. I need to know what’s going on with Lou and this partnership you two have, and the full impact it has on me.”
“What are you doing now?” He pulls his phone from his pocket and looks at the time. “I’m seriously fucking hungry.”
“I’m heading over to Dontonio’s for my meal with Shawn. Wanna come?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely. Those meatballs are calling my name.”
“Good. Then you drive.”
He yells out to no one in particular that he’ll be back in a few hours, and we head out.
As soon as we get in the car, I ask the question that’s burning a hole in my mind right now. “Man, I hate to jump on you like this unprepared, but did you know he was sick?”
“No, Kol. Not a clue. I knew he had aches and pains that he complained about. I thought it was generic old age complaints. I never knew it was serious with his heart and shit. I swear.”
“Did you know he was having this procedure done?”
“I had no fucking clue until the morning of. I think it was the day after he sent you and Jade out of town.”
“He sent us away so we wouldn’t worry and make a big deal out of it. What a mess! I’m so fucking mad at him right now.”
“And worried at the same time. I see it. You’re paler than usual, and you’re erratic— like you don’t know what problem to solve first, so you tackle them all at once. I get it. I was like that when my dad got sick.”
That’s exactly it. Lou is the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father figure. He’s fed me, clothed me, picked me up after fights and cared for me— all the way back to my foster care days. I feel nauseous thinking about him being in the hospital all alone.
We are greeted at the hostess stand by Kimberly and a very embarrassed Jade. Her face flushes pink as soon as our eyes meet. She gives a half-hearted smile to Liam after seating us, but ignores me by ducking her head and scampering away back to her post.
I’ve watched her ever since our heated words earlier. Her eyes shift back and forth everywhere in the room, but never settle directly on me. She’s obviously avoiding me. Is she regretting working here already? I’m glad Shawn called her. She’s going to need to be flexible with our training schedule, but maybe I shouldn’t have made her one of our employees.
Half-way through the meal, a bubbly, happy laugh floats across the room and I know it’s Jade. She’s sitting at a table in the corner wrapping silverware in the linen napkins with another employee. A male waiter. I watch him reach across and touch her hand before causing her to laugh again. She slaps him on the arm before standing and taking her full tray to the hostess station.
I see Shawn making the rounds and moving away from a table to my left, so I motion for him.
“Aren’t you full enough yet?” He winks at me while looking down at my mostly-empty plate.
“Never, but who is that over that wrapping silverware?” I nod my head in that direction. Shawn shifts to take a look.
“Oh, that’s Jeremy Tillman. Why?”
“No reason. Just curious.” Liam snickers under his breath, and Shawn gives me a side-eye look like he doesn’t believe me.
“Just curious because he was training Jade for a while, or just curious because of your working interest in the restaurant?”
“So, what’s his story? He looks like a fucking bookworm.”
“Yes. He’s a third-year med student. He’s working here because his parents own the distribution house where we get our wine. They asked if I could take him on to get his face out of his books every now and again. They don’t care if we pay him. They want him to use his people skills and socialize every now and again. He works two nights a week. Does that satisfy your curiosity?”
“For now.”
“Good. Now how was your meal?”
“Perfect, as expected,” Liam replies for us both, patting his be
lly and stretching backward in his chair. “I’m going to be useless the rest of the night.”
“I’m sure you’ll be busy enough tomorrow night. I’ve got to run, but I’ll be there at 6:00 pm.” He leaves us, gesturing to a waitress to clear the party room in the back.
We both stand to leave as well. I’ve had enough peopling today and need to sleep. Last night with Jade at the beach house didn’t go as I had planned. Every statement that I thought of sounded stupid and immature. My thoughts are all confused, and now this shit with Lou has my mind all fucked up.
We exit the restaurant and watch Jade get into the passenger side of a Jeep Wrangler. When it pulls out of its parking space, I catch a glimpse of the driver— it’s med boy, and he’s smiling like the Cheshire cat.
“C’mon, Liam. Let’s follow them. Hurry.”
“Seriously? You know where she lives. He’s probably just giving her a ride.”
“A lift— you mean he’s probably just giving her a lift, right? We’re heading in that direction anyway, so it’s technically not following her. And that’s what I want to make sure of. It better just be a lift. No rides allowed.”
“What? Dude, you’re losing it. You can’t control what she does on her personal time.”
Fuck!
Chapter Eighteen - Jade
“THANKS FOR THE LIFT, Jeremy. I really appreciate it.” I slide out of the seat and shut the door, throwing my bag over my shoulder. I was ready to step away when he rolls down the window.
“Hey, Jade. If you ever see us on the schedule together, just text me. I can pick you up and bring you home. You’re on my way anyway. That is if our schedules match.”
“Sure. That’d be great.” I tug open my purse and grab a pen and tear off a corner piece of an envelope and write down my number, handing it to him. “I work again on Sunday afternoon from 3:00 pm to 8:00 pm. Did you check the schedule for next week?”
“I go in earlier, but we get off at the same time. I can bring you home.”
“That’d be great. Any money I can keep from Uber and Lyft makes me happy. See you Sunday.” I step back from the window and wave goodbye, watching him speed off down the street.
I turn to enter my apartment building and see headlights beaming in Rebels’ lot. Looks like Liam and Kol are finished with their boys’ night out. Why did I offer to stay and train for a bit with Kimberly? Shawn said it had been a slow Friday night and I was more than welcome to get some training to start earning pay. So I thought why the hell not? My brain wasn’t thinking that he’d be in for his pre-fight carb load. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
I kick off my shoes as I come in the door and make my way over to the window in the darkness. Kol is still standing with his bike talking to Liam. Every now and again, his head lifts to my apartment for the quickest of a second before returning his attention back to Liam. All night, I could feel him staring at me at the restaurant. There’s this crazy force that draws us together, but he won’t admit it. And even if he does, he won’t communicate with me.
The longer he remains silent, the more shame I feel. I never wanted to be a fling.
I’m still holding my head high though, for I know deep in my heart it’s his issue with his past.
I turn on the lamp and chase the darkness out of my thoughts. I won’t be sad. It’s not in my nature. God brought me into this world without him, and I’m pretty sure I’ll leave it the same way. My heart twinges a little when I turn away from the window.
I shower and change into my pajamas before dimming the lights. My bed beckons me, so I dive into the messiness of it. Early morning workouts come quickly, especially when a long day is on the horizon.
Closing my eyes doesn’t erase any of the memories in my mind of him looking at me tonight. My mind presses rewind to other, less stressful memories. I can picture his fights in my head. I’ve memorized every single one of his fights posted on YouTube, watching them a few hundred times. So much so that I could perform every takedown. I know his signature moves. I know his strengths and now, even more intimately, his weaknesses.
His opponent is all bark with very little bite. More recently, I’ve been watching his fights too. He plays dirty, but I know his timing and his coaching gestures from his team.
I’m ready, and I know Kol is too.
I grab my phone from the nightstand and open up a new message. Kol’s name readily appears as soon as I type in the “K.”
Me: I’m ready for tmrw. See you at 3 for your meal and warm-up. Sleep well & sleep late.
I stare at the screen for a few minutes, hoping a quick reply will come, but it darkens without a response. I linger, holding my phone in my hands staring at a dark screen and waiting for a chiming vibration. Countless minutes pass in silence. Damn it. I guess he’s not going to respond.
I admit defeat and close my eyes, refusing to think of anything else having to do with Kol tonight.
The final glance at my clock reads 9:50 pm.
“Move left. Kick out. Don’t let him get you on your back. Move. Move. Move.”
He sweeps around to the right and unexpectedly enters into a pace choke. Jesus, Enigma.
“You’re gonna lose if you don’t start listening to me.” My throat burns and my voice is raw from screaming at him. I grab onto the chain links of the Octagon and start shaking it to get his attention. It rattles wildly, but he doesn’t look in my direction.
He twists left as I watch his face turn red, and his sweat allows him to slide through his opponent’s arm and break free of the hold.
The bell rings, and Enigma comes to the corner and takes a seat on the stool before I set it down. “How’s your hearing?” I ask as I sponge off the sweat from his face.
He squeezes a drink of water into his mouth, swishes it around, and spits it back out into the bucket. The towel hanging from my waist is used to dry off his face.
“Answer me. Can you hear me yelling at you out there? You’re doing the exact opposite of everything I direct you too. Are you trying to lose this fight?”
“DING,” he stands, pushing me out of his face without a word.
I sit straight up in bed, knowing that ding was real and loud. The room is dark, but passing headlights shine some light into the room. The blue light in the corner of my phone flashes, catching my attention. I scoop it up and see the number one over the envelope icon. My eyelids are thick with sleep, but I notice the time is 4:10 am. What the hell is he doing up so late, or this early? I swipe left to read the message.
K: Hospital called. Lou is worse. I’m heading in. Try to get Liam to re-schedule. Let me know if I still need to show.
Oh, shit!
Me: I will. Be safe.
I kick out of the blankets and start to get up to get dressed, but instead flop right back down on my mattress, thinking.
He didn’t ask me to come.
Although he didn’t tell me not to, either.
Poor Lou. The knots in my stomach twist until I feel sick. He can’t die. “God, please don’t take him. Kol needs him.” And I haven’t gotten to know him well yet. There is so much more life trapped inside that broken body.
Screw it. I’m not wasting any more time worry over if Kol wants me there or not. I want to be there. He can get mad and then get over it.
I leap from my bed and head into the bathroom for a quick shower. The cold water spray wakes me up fast. Within the half-hour, my Lyft ride arrives, and I’m off to St. Luke’s after leaving a note on Rebel’s door to call me as soon as he gets in for the day stressing ‘TIME IS CRITICAL’ underlining it with three bold lines and a slew of exclamation points.
The driver wants to chat the entire ride to the hospital. Even if I wanted to respond, I couldn’t. He’s in the middle of a rant over the high cost of health care since he’s been taking care of his mom. He claims the hospital networks and the insurance companies are in bed together screwing everyone with their nickel and dime antics.
He pulls up to the emergency room entrance, and I’m pu
shing the car door open with one foot hovering over the asphalt before he comes to a stop. “Thank you,” I holler back to him and wave as I wait for the sliding doors to open to enter the building. As soon as they do, my phone buzzes with the driver’s electronic invoice. I stop for a brief second to pay and tip the man before I race to the elevators.
It’s quiet, and the lights are dim in the I.C.U. One solitary nurse sits at the desk, but she’s focused on her paperwork and ignores my passing. I quicken my pace but walk softly to the far room that serves as the waiting area. As soon as I round the corner, I see Kol lying on his side in one of the recliners with the footrest up. His head is buried in this big arms, trying to block out the little bit of light that’s shining into the room from the lamp post outside. He doesn’t stir when I approach, or when I place one of the hospital blankets on him.
His phone buzzes beside him on the table, but it’s locked, and I can’t see who is calling him at this hour.
I grab a few magazines and pull my Kindle out of my bag, preparing for a long morning before taking the seat next to him and reclining.
I lay my head back and close my eyes too, hoping this day ends better than it’s starting.
His phone buzzes again but stops within a few seconds.
A shadow crosses over my eyes, and I look up to see one of the nurses standing over us. She smiles easily to not startle me. “Mr. Porter,” she says in a low but lilting, southern accent. “You may go in now.”
His head rises off the chair, and his eyes are heavy with sleep. He rubs the stubble on his face and stretches his eyes open wide with his fingers trying to push the fog from his brain. He struggles for a moment to lower the foot rest but stands and follows her to the room, not looking back at me.
I don’t even think he noticed I was here.
I lean back further in the recliner and close my eyes to try to shut off the thoughts in my head. He needs me here, whether he realizes it or not. I won’t be bullied into leaving. Lou is my trainer too. He can’t call dibs on him based on length of friendship.