“Synth? Hey, you need to stay awake.”
Her head lolled, eyes closed.
Goddammit. I couldn’t let this happen, not again. I hooked my arm under hers, clutched her back against my chest, and pushed out of our hiding place. Spray burned my eyes and water caught in my throat. We went under. I kicked off the loose seabed and we broke the surface.
Spluttering water from my lungs, I clutched the upright pole and pinned the synth’s dead weight against it, holding her there so I could lift her face.
“Hey! Hey, you don’t get to come back and die like this. That’s not how it works.”
I sunk my fingers into her cheek and brought my face close enough to feel the icy burn of her lips against mine.
“Don’t you get it, synth? You’re the hero. You came back, you beat the system, and you defied your orders. You won’t let them control you. You’re everything human beings stand for.”
I speared my fingers into her hair and pressed my palm against her cheek, holding her head up.
“I’m sorry, so fuckin’ sorry, but it can’t end here.” I breathed the next words over her cool blue lips. “You’re Haley Hung, Chen Hung’s daughter. Your father killed you, and I watched him do it. Listen … listen to me. You’re not finished. You don’t get to quit.”
Her eyes flicked open. Her pupils dilated, pulling me into their darkness.
“We need to get out of this water, and I can’t do it without you.”
“You didn’t let me g-go,” her cultured voice stuttered like a bad recording.
I almost laughed and would have, had I not been freezing my balls off and about ready to pass out. “Please, synth. Before we both die here.”
She twisted in my arms, reached up, and hauled herself onto the deck. For a few seconds, long enough for me to wonder if she’d left me, she vanished, and then she reached down, clasped her hand around mine, and hauled me out of the water. I collapsed on my hands and knees. She knelt beside me, big eyes observing me, her face blank, her hair and clothes plastered against her blue-tinged flesh.
“Okay.” The deck was clear but the sound of warbirds still thundered in the gray above us. Fleet would be nearby. I coughed and spat up seawater. “Let’s get off this deck and dry—”
#1001 stood over me, gun shouldered, aim loose, and finger poised on the trigger. This close, she didn’t need to bring the weapon up to aim; she couldn’t miss.
I lifted my hands and smiled. “You remember everything, huh?”
She took a single step back and lifted her chin. “I begged you, Caleb. I reached for you. And when he held me down, I knew you’d stop him, because I loved you and you loved me. You’d stop my father …”
Her aim didn’t waver. If she pulled the trigger, it’d be quick and I wouldn’t feel a thing. The wind whipped her wet, silvery hair about her face. She smiled a true, devastating smile. A new fierceness burned in her eyes. I looked deep into the synthetic eyes of my killer, and relief lifted the smothering weight of guilt off my soul. Finally, it was over.
Chapter Twenty Seven: #1001
I dropped from the broken vent and stumbled into Caleb’s arms. We really didn’t have time to mess around, but when his arms closed around me from behind, when he pulled me close and I smelled that warm, masculine scent of him, I couldn’t stop myself from leaning into his touch. And once I did that, he noticed. He always noticed the little things.
“We shouldn’t be here,” he whispered and nipped my ear. Shivers rippled down my back and pooled into low, intimate places.
“You’re a fleet captain. Caleb-Joe, aren’t you just a little bit curious?” I made a feeble attempt at pulling free from his arms, but he turned me to face him and gave me his typical, through-the-lashes look that made me forget what I was saying.
“I’m not any fleet captain. I’m the best fleet captain there is.” He backed me against the warehouse wall. Behind him, the empty space yawned, quiet and dark. Orange security lighting glowed somewhere above us, highlighting his stubborn jawline and warming his dark eyes. He nudged a knee between mine and pressed his whole body against me—hard, strong, and warm.
“Modest too,” I whispered. I couldn’t have spoken any louder if I’d wanted to. “Be still my fragile heart …”
He laid his hand over my heart, tipped his head, and came in so close I could feel the tension fizzling between us. Like this, when he was all I could see, all I could feel, all I could think about, he was everything to me. I forgot we were trespassing on my father’s property, forgot I was meant to be home before curfew. He did that to me—made me forget and made me dream.
“You’re beautiful.” He touched my face, threaded his fingers into my hair, and kissed me so lightly I thought I’d break apart.
Nerves and adrenalin already had my heart racing. His kiss, his body against mine—I’d never wanted anyone more. I chased his kiss and poured my hunger into it, kissing him back as though I were afraid I’d lose him. He responded like fire sparking to life beneath my touch. His hand rode up my thigh, fingers curling around my leg. He pulled me closer, so close I felt the hardness of him through his fleet uniform. I needed to feel him, his hot skin against mine. He made me crazy, made me stupid, made me happy.
“You’re going to get me fired,” he mumbled against my mouth, and then trailed a scattering of kisses down my chin, down my neck. His fingers pulled at my top, yanking it off my shoulder so he could nip exactly where he knew it would make me groan. And I did. He wouldn’t stop there, and I didn’t want him to. His free hand pushed up beneath my dress and slipped inside my panties. In my head, I begged him to touch me; I may have even said it aloud. His touch and his kisses all blurred into one stream of breathless sensations. What had I done to deserve him? He was generous, funny, fabulous, and all mine.
When the warehouse lights came on in a wave starting from one end of the cavernous space and ending at the other, I almost didn’t care. I did care when Caleb stopped, pulled his hand free, and straightened like a bolt of lightning had struck him.
“You, Caleb, are in more trouble than you realize.”
“Daddy?” I straightened my clothes and peeked out from behind Caleb’s arm. Not just Daddy, but also several of his security team. They frightened me. They always had. The eyes of his men were cold, as if they had no souls.
Daddy glared at Caleb. His hand trembled at his side. “Not only do I find you screwing my daughter—”
“Daddy, I—”
“Silence!” His shout boomed through the warehouse. He pointed at me. “Don’t talk.”
I’d never seen him like this, so angry, with his face screwed up and twisted. He didn’t even look like my father.
“But you, young man”—he snarled at Caleb—“I also find you breaking into a classified Chitec facility. That will not do for a decorated fleet captain.”
Caleb held his arm in front of me, blocking me or protecting me, I wasn’t sure which.
“We …” His voice wavered. “We didn’t know. We’ll leave. We haven’t— We haven’t seen anything.”
It was then that I noticed the synthetics standing in perfect rows behind Daddy. There were so many it had to be all 1000 of them, ready to be shipped to their new/old homes. I’d only really seen them in e-zines pictured one at a time. They all looked beautiful, these pinnacles of technology combined with the desire to prolong life. With their silvery hair and brushed-steel colored garments, the warehouse lighting glinted off them. Together, row upon row like that, each and every one identical, they looked surreal, and wrong. And they were armed. I saw knives hidden in sheaths, and holstered Chitec pistols, and pulse-rifles slung over their backs. They stood dormant and silent, waiting for their commands. But this wasn’t right. They were meant to be people. They were supposed to be dreams.
“Daddy…?”
Caleb turned his head to fix his gaze on me. “Don’t.” The threat in his voice wasn’t for me. It masked his fear.
“Haley, why won’t you listen?�
�� My father sighed. “Tīng wǒ shuō. Now this…. What I must do is your fault.”
“B-but … I …” I slipped my hand into Caleb’s. “What’s happening here? Why are they armed? What is this? This isn’t right.” Caleb squeezed my hand, but I wouldn’t be silenced. “You’re lying to everyone, about everything.” At the sight of my father’s soulless eyes, fear spilled over me. “You can’t do this. I won’t let you do this.” My voice barreled into the silence, rolling over the silent 1000.
“I told you to stay away from him and to stay away from these premises. I warned you. Why didn’t you listen?”
I moved forward, intending to leave, but my father’s men all stepped forward at once. Caleb yanked me back against him and closed his arms around me.
“We won’t talk,” he said, the depth of his words reverberating through my back, through me.
My father smiled. “You won’t, but she will.”
He was right.
“What happened to these people’s dreams? You’re using their wishes, their hopes, and for what? War?”
My father came forward. “You can’t understand. You were born inside glass towers. You don’t know what it’s like to watch the old values—our old world, everything we held dear—die, smothered by corruption and greed.”
“Greed?” I laughed. “What is this if not your greed?”
“It’s necessary,” he snarled and clicked his fingers. His men came forward. “Caleb, you want that promotion, don’t you? Or would you rather be back on old Earth with your father? I can make either happen. You’ll wake up tomorrow a commander, or poor and wretched.”
I shrank away from my father’s men and into Caleb’s grip. What was happening here? What were they going to do? They reached for me. Caleb held me close, held me tight, but when I tried to back up, to get free, Caleb’s arms clamped tighter. His grip changed, turned hard.
“Caleb, stop. Don’t do this.” I bucked, but he was too strong. “Don’t do this. Don’t let them do this.”
Icy terror burned through my veins. My father’s men gripped my arms and dragged me out of Caleb’s arms. I twisted and reached for him. ”Don’t let me go!” I bucked and twisted and kicked. “Don’t! What are you doing? Daddy, please …”
Caleb watched, hands fisted at his sides. He’d do something. He’d say something. He’d stop this. I knew he would. “Don’t let them do this. Caleb, please … please…. Don’t let me go.”
“Hold her,” my father ordered.
Arms like steel clamped around my upper body, pinning me still. More hands clamped around my head.
“Would you like a knife, Sir?” One of the men asked.
“No. No blood. Let’s keep this clean.”
A knife? What did he mean? “Caleb! Don’t … don’t let me go. Don’t let me go. Please … please no. Daddy, no. I won’t talk. I won’t—”
“No, you won’t.”
I took a breath before my father smothered my mouth and nose. He pushed into me, his eyes stern.
Caleb…. I screamed in my head. Please stop him. Please, I know you will. You love me. You’ll save me.
My chest heaved. I twitched and jerked, but already the warehouse, my father, they all felt distant. I could see Caleb though. He hadn’t moved, hadn’t said a word. Why wasn’t he saving me? I was dying. I would die here, and he … he did nothing. Nothing. I thought he loved me. I thought he cared. I was wrong.
* * *
Don’t
Let
Me
Go
Inside I’d screamed at him to save me, to stop my father. I hadn’t believed he’d leave me to die. Not Caleb. He loved me. He’d save me. He wouldn’t let me die. I had believed with my heart and soul that Caleb would stop them. Even as I’d died, I had believed.
My power core barely radiated enough heat to keep me standing, but I had a new source of heat now—a hungry, rage-filled heat.
On the deck with a storm raging and fleet so close, Caleb looked up at me from his knees, hands raised, and he smiled a sorry, knowing smile. He knew this was his fate.
“I loved you,” I said. It had been true, but now I hated him.
“Do it.”
“You never loved me. You used me.”
He barked a dry, bitter laugh. “You were Hung’s daughter and I wanted to get to the top. No, I didn’t love you. I didn’t even know what love was. I still don’t.” His smile died on his lips. “I just wanted to be in control. I wanted to be the one giving the orders. I’d have done anything to be the best. That included fucking you to get in front of your father.” He bit into his lip and looked away. “Had I known what was inside that warehouse, I would have walked away.”
“You’d have walked away from the knowledge that could have stopped my father, stopped Chitec from using people’s dreams to build weapons? You’re a coward. A selfish, coward.”
“Yes, I am.”
Fault, fault, fault. “And now? You smuggle guns, you kill pimps, and you save whores. Do you think that somehow makes up for your mistakes?”
He opened his mouth, perhaps to explain, and hesitated. Did he think he could convince me? Jesse had said there was good in him. I’d yet to see it. He’d left his brother for dead and would have given me up to Chitec had I let him.
“There are people here, on Mimir, who can help, but you’re right. I’m not one of them. I told you, synth, I’m a bad person. Always was, always will be. So shoot me, because I deserve it. You only know the half of what I’ve done. The nine systems won’t miss me.” He opened his arms, making himself a bigger target. “Nobody and nothing gives a damn about Caleb Shepperd.”
Rain and sea water dripped from his hair and glistened wet on his cheeks.
I blinked spray out of my eyes. Faults and errors buzzed through my system. I didn’t know what was right or wrong. I’d been ordered to kill him. I wanted to kill him. I should. But I remembered when we’d been together, the times we’d laughed, the times he’d taught me how to pilot a shuttle, and our nights on the starlit beach. I remembered what it had felt like to be held by him and to have his whispers caress my skin. What did I know of love now, in this synthetic body?
I knew how he’d made me feel—alive.
“One Thousand And One, when the time comes, they’ll need you,” he said, raising his voice over the wind. “You’re the broken one, and you’re better for it. You’re the one who can stop Chitec, the daughter who died and came back.” His eyes sparkled too brightly. “You were my wish.”
Cool, unnecessary tears wet my cheeks. All I had to do was pull the trigger and it would be over.
Farther down the deck, where it joined the beach, fleet soldiers saw us. Weapons shouldered, they closed in. I thought of Brendan Shepperd and how he didn’t recognize his own brother, of Jesse and her belief that people could be saved, and of Fran’s fierce loyalty. They would be better off without Caleb in their lives. He’d suck them down with him. His soul was dark, as dark as his eyes, as dark as the night. He’d killed me, as surely as my own father had.
I settled my gaze on Caleb’s sorry face. “This is for the girl who dared to dream of wishes.”
I pulled the trigger.
You follow orders. You will only ever have one: to kill. Do you understand, #1001?
“I understand.” I tossed the gun aside and dropped to my knees, lacing my hands behind my head. It was over. Soon what little heat I had left would fade away. When I opened my eyes, fleet soldiers circled me. Orders were barked. The storm still raged. And nothing had changed, except there was one less man in the world. Caleb was dead. I was still broken inside. The fault still bleated over and over. Why had I done it? For revenge? I’d thought … I’d thought I’d feel complete, but all I felt was empty and alone.
Chitec HQ. Janus orbit station.
* * *
“Yo
u killed him?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Because it felt good. Because he deserved it. Because I wanted to. None of those answers would satisfy Doctor Leanne Grossman. “Because I follow orders.” My voice sounded tedious, exactly like the voices of my 1000 brothers and sisters.
“Whose orders?” she asked. Her heartbeat gave her away. The heart betrays. Yours, I answered inside. Yours, yours, yours, yours. The words pushed forward, up my throat, and over my tongue, but even as I parted my lips to speak, protocols shut the truth away.
Grossman smiled in that sharp, closed way of hers. She had smiled like that when she’d ordered me to kill a man. She’d smiled like that when she’d bypassed my failsafe. I didn’t know whether I should thank her for freeing me or hate her for it. Hate. Yes. That was the right word, the right label for the burn devouring my thoughts.
My fingers flexed on the arms of the chair, just a twitch, but I didn’t recall sending the pulse ordering them to do so. Grossman’s pale blue gaze flicked to my hand. She’d noticed the movement too. Her heart fluttered. Diagnostics told me her body temperature had spiked. Beads of sweat glistened above her top lip. When her gaze met mine, her sharp smile dulled.
She reached forward, red-painted nails flashing, picked up a pen, and scribbled on her report sheet. I knew by the strokes of the pen’s tip, by the drag and flick of her handwriting, exactly what she’d written.
* * *
#1001 DECOM IMME—
* * *
I sprang from my chair, snatched the pen from her hand, and punched it into her eye socket with enough force to topple her backward. We fell to the floor together. I landed crouched over her upper body, poised to finish her. Her head had cracked against the floor and she’d bitten through her tongue, but she wouldn’t have felt any of the pain. Doctor Leanne Grossman had been beyond feeling much of anything long before I’d killed her.
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