I have to mash my jaw together to keep from saying something that’s going to piss her off. Something else that’ll end up hurting both of us. If we stay like this—toe to toe—any longer, I’m going to do something I regret. I’m going to say something I shouldn’t. Like, Stay dammit. I love you. Stay with me.
“Fine.” My feet move of their own accord, and I shuffle to the side, giving her the space she needs. Letting her go.
Sera’s large doe eyes blink up at me for a beat too long. She gives me a watery smile that I don’t bother returning. She lightly squeezes my bicep before walking out of the bathroom. Walking out of my life.
I know I should be a gentleman and offer to help her move into her new place, but I can’t. She decided this on her own. She managed to find a new place and set up the lease, all on her own while I wasn’t home. She can handle moving out on her own, too.
But she’s got it covered, though, because a second later, I hear footsteps enter the condo. I hear Wyatt’s voice in the hallway. “You got everything packed up, Sera?”
Fucking great. Wyatt’s here.
I don’t hear her response to her brother because I slam the bathroom door so hard the vanity lights tremble.
They’re at it forever, bumping into furniture, banging into walls as they move Sera’s boxes and bags out of my place. Eventually, I get out of the bathroom because I can’t stay in there all day and as hurtful as it is for me watching her leave, when she’s around, I just want to be close.
I’m on my way back from the fridge to grab a piece of mozzarella when I cross Wyatt in the hallway. He deliberately bumps my shoulder as he’s walking out the apartment with the last of Sera’s boxes.
I turn and hit him with a glare. “What?” At this point, I’m down to fight him. I have nothing left to lose.
He looks toward the door to make sure Sera is out of earshot. “I trusted you to take care of my sister and this is what you do? You treat her like shit and you break her heart? Why did you have to mess around with her? Sera is one of the good girls. That’s my sister, asshole. And she’s in love with you.” He gives me a look that says he’s ready to pulverize my testicles with his bare hands.
Maybe I’ve lost my self-preservation instincts or maybe I just want Sera enough to risk the wellbeing of my testicles but I get in my best friend’s face, standing chest-to-chest with him. “And I’m fucking in love with her, too, Wyatt.”
He elbows me out of his personal space. “What…?” He pauses and runs a hand down his face.
“Have you ever seen me this torn up over a woman?” I challenge. “Have you ever seen me jealous and fighting other dudes?” I fling an arm in the direction of my living room. “I have a pink couch, Wyatt. A pink couch.”
He chuckles. “The couch is pretty fucking hideous, man.”
I sigh. “I want to share my life with that girl. I want to give her everything she wants. I want to make her happy. And yes, I fucked up with her because I was terrified of how much power she has to hurt me. But now I want her back. I want her back and she’s decided that she’s done with me. What the hell am I supposed to do?” I’m ready to beg for any help he can give me.
“I don’t know,” Wyatt tells me, “but if you’re gonna shit all over the bro code by drunk-marrying my sister, making her fall head over heels for you and keeping it a secret from me this whole time…the least you can fucking do is keep her happy. That’s the least you can do.” He lowers his voice menacingly. “Man up, Bellino. Fix this.”
He stomps off, leaving me in my hallway, as desperate and confused as ever. When the front door closes for the final time, I strip down and climb into my shower, trying to burn away these unfamiliar emotions. Head bowed, I let the scalding water sluice over my face and down the back of my shoulders.
I wanted to be a good husband. I wanted to give Sera everything she needed. But in the end, it’s all the same. I loved her and now I’m losing her anyway.
It’s just a Jason Bellino fact of life.
Forty-Seven
Sera
It all started when Desiree sent me up to Liam’s office late this afternoon with a strange grin on her face. I should have questioned her on it then, but my head hasn’t exactly been in the right place ever since moving out of Jason’s condo.
I’m living in a new place that doesn’t quite feel like home so I’ve been throwing myself into work. Getting in early. Staying late. Going above and beyond to help with every work project I can get my hands on. And today, as I’m sitting in Liam’s posh corner office, I’m positive it’s all about to come crashing down.
I’m about to get fired.
This is the first time I’m speaking directly with my boss since that shameful debacle I caused at the Paragons-Boomerangs game…and I know I’m about to get fired.
Liam grabs his whiskey decanter and two tumblers as he breezes into the room. He sinks behind his massive mahogany desk. “I’ll cut right to the chase,” he says, uncorking the decanter. “This is about the Wild Garden file.”
My stomach goes tight when he mentions the project I’ve been working tirelessly on all week. I swallow. “Yes?”
He busies himself pouring a small measure of alcohol into each glass. “I was reviewing the notes you took when you proofread Wild Garden’s new lease agreement earlier this week.”
Shit. Did I screw something up? How did I screw up? “Oh, yes, I hope I didn’t—”
He interrupts me ruthlessly, his face impassive as always. “Sera, you saved the firm from losing tens of thousands on a small but crucial error that Ross made in that contract.”
“Wh-what…?” I manage to squeak out.
“I fired his ass, of course, but I’ve just got to commend you on the work you’ve been doing for the firm.” Liam stretches me a small glass of whiskey. I can’t stand the smell of that potent stuff and the taste is even worse but I’m not about to tell him that.
“Thank you,” I whisper, trying to tamp down the elation I feel bubbling through me at my boss’s praise.
There’s nothing better than someone noticing your hard work. Looking back to when I first started here at the firm, that’s all I ever really wanted. To feel helpful. To feel needed. To prove I was more than just Wyatt’s little sister. To make a difference bigger than myself.
“You’re invaluable to me. To the whole firm,” Liam continues between sips of whiskey.
“Thank you,” I say again, hiding my grin inside my small glass.
“You’ve been performing at a high level with great consistency in recent weeks. I know you’re qualified for so much more, Sera. So I would like to offer you a position in my own department, on my team of junior associates, more as an interim role. Then, when the timing is right and an opening becomes available, I’ll help train and mold you for a junior executive position.”
I choke on my mouthful of expensive whiskey. “M-me…?”
This was never, ever my intent when I sat down to proofread Garden Inc.’s new lease agreement. And it definitely wasn’t what I was expecting when I walked into this meeting.
“Yes, you,” Liam confirms impatiently. He squints suspiciously. “Why have you been acting so weird since you got in here? You’re all tense and constipated-looking. It’s making me uncomfortable.”
I flinch when I confess, “I thought you called me in here to fire me.”
“Why the hell would I fire you?” Liam asks, “Because you’re constipated?”
“Because I got caught making out with a footballer—a Paragon—in a shady hallway.”
“Sera, this is Sin Valley. Everybody’s done something regrettable in a shady hallway.” Liam furrows his brows like he’s trying to explain the basics of life on Earth to an alien. “I told you—you’re valuable to this company. So, can we get back on topic, please?”
I grin and nod. “Of course. Yes.”
“So, about the promotion—what’d you say? Are you in?”
I hear a familiar voice whispering at the back of my mind. You’ve go
t to be confident in your words, too. And your tone. Instead of ‘maybe,’ you should respond with…
“Fuck yes!” I give the desk a heavy smack. Oops! “I mean—I, uh, I’d like that very much. Please. Thank you.”
Oh god.
Liam falls back against his chair and laughs. Liam never laughs. “Fuck yes!” He extends a hand to me. “Welcome to the big leagues, Sera.”
Forty-Eight
Sera
Barefoot, braless and clad in nothing but my number eleven Paragons jersey, I wander around Minka’s tiny studio apartment. I have no idea what to do with myself. I’m restless.
With the mood I’m in, tonight would be a bubble bath kind of night. But Minka’s rusty little bathtub looks like the place where people go to get tetanus.
While I’m so grateful to be staying at my friend’s apartment, the place feels…stale. It’s quiet. And not the tranquil, peaceful kind of quiet. It’s lonely. So painfully lifeless.
I’ve finally gotten my big promotion and it was better than I could have imagined. But the accomplishment is bittersweet. I just wish Jace were here. I would have never had the courage to step up and get noticed at work if it weren’t for him and his encouragement. It hurts so much that he’s not here celebrating with me now.
I try reminding myself that I’ll soon be training for the executive role I’ve always wanted.
But I’m still not…happy.
I miss Jace.
I miss hearing about his day. I miss his thoughtful advice. I miss that naughty smirk he’d shoot my way whenever he’s up to something. I miss the way his hands mold to my body like no one else’s ever have. I miss the way I feel when my head hit his chest, as though no matter how rough the day was, his touch could make everything right with the world.
Cradling a bowl of Fruity Pebbles in my lap, I set myself up on Minka’s couch. I grab the remote and flick on the television. And just my luck, a Paragons game is on.
Jace is on the field and he’s in tiptop form tonight, his stellar plays contributing to Iowa’s healthy lead over Las Vegas.
It’s almost painful to watch him, knowing I won’t be the one he kisses after the game. Knowing I won’t be the one he goes home with.
Still, I can’t not watch.
About twenty minutes into my pity party, loud banging at the front door startles me, causing me to splash milk all over my shirt.
“Shit!” I mutter as I set the bowl down on the coffee table. I bounce off the couch and rush over to the closet next to the bed where my suitcases are stowed with the rest of my stuff.
The banging grows more insistent. “Minka?!” a deep male voice calls out from beyond the door. “Minka, I know you’re in there!”
Dammit. Whoever it is is gonna have to wait because I’m not answering the door in my undies and a jersey that’s milk-plastered to my boobs.
“Coming!” I call out, my head buried inside the closet.
I grab my old college sweatshirt then peel out of my wet jersey.
“Stop playing around, Minka. Open the door. I know you’re in there. I can see the TV on from the street. You’ve been avoiding me for weeks now. We need to talk about what happened between us.”
“I said I’m coming!” I yell over my shoulder as I shimmy into some leggings.
The person on the other side of the door keeps banging and by the time I finally get to the door, I’m sure the neighbors are about to call the cops on whoever is making all this racket.
I steal a glance through the peephole, y’know, to make sure I’m not about to have an encounter with an axe-wielding maniac because heaven knows that’s what it sounds like. What the hell?
I tear the door open and come face-to-face with Declan. “Psychotic much?” I greet him with a fist parked on my hip.
For a second, he looks taken aback to see me. “Oh, hey. Sera.” Then, he’s marching right past me, into the apartment. “Where’s Minka?”
“Minka left town,” I say following him over to the couch.
He spins around so fast I almost walk right into him. “Minka left town?”
I nod.
“When? Where’d she go? Is she coming back soon?” He flings questions at me faster than I can catch them.
“Um, I don’t know. I don’t know anything. All I know is she was acting super weird when I saw her a few days ago and she told me I could stay here.”
A pained look crosses Declan’s expression. He scrubs a palm down his face, looking absolutely devastated. “Shit…” He drops onto the couch, sprawling out like a heap of disappointment.
Now, I’m becoming concerned. I take a step closer to him and dare to put a hand on his shoulder. “Declan, what’s going on?”
He stares blankly at the television. “I…we…I just need to speak to Minka…”
I shake my head and shrug. “I’m sorry, Deck. Can’t help you.” I stand and watch him pull at his hair, scrub his face, swear under his breath. He looks like a man tortured, a man in love. “You wanna talk about it?” I ask, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Because the kitchen table is basically half a foot away from the couch.
He drops his head into his hands. “Nah, I…I’m too late…” he says, defeated.
On the television screen, the Paragons make a touchdown and the crowd goes up in cheers.
Declan glances at the TV before his eyes bounce over to me. “Okay, I’m gonna get going…”
“Sorry, I wasn’t able to help,” I tell him, my heart breaking for him.
I know that Declan has loved Minka for a long time and I’m pretty sure that she loves him, too. They just never got around to doing anything about it.
Slowly, he rises from his seat and listlessly drags himself over to the door, looking like a broken man.
Right as he’s about to exit the apartment, he stares at the TV where Jace is in the middle of making a spectacular interception.
Declan looks at me again. “I know it’s none of my business, but I’ve got to say this…”
I brace myself, not knowing what will come out of my friend’s mouth.
“My brother is an absolute idiot…” Declan tells me. “…but he loves you.”
My heart trembles so hard I have to wrap my arms around myself to keep it from falling out of my chest. I take a glance at the TV screen where they’re replaying Jace’s most recent tackle. He doesn’t look brokenhearted to me. “You don’t have to say that, Deck. It’s okay—”
He scoffs and shakes his head. “Trust me. The guy is about to overdose on cheese. The smell is leaking out of his pores now and I can only imagine what it’s doing to his digestive system.”
I cringe at the overshare. “Well, thanks for painting such a vivid picture but it doesn’t mean anything. Jason doesn’t love me.”
He reaches for the door handle. “I can pretty much guarantee that he does, Sera. Because he showed up at the courthouse the day of your wedding to Rocky. He had every intention of crashing your wedding. He wasn’t gonna let you marry that guy. A man doesn’t do something like that unless he’s in love.”
On those words, Declan breezes out the door, leaving me stunned speechless.
Forty-Nine
Sera
The gymnasium buzzes with restless energy as the boisterous third and fourth graders pour into the room, oversized backpacks drooping from their narrow shoulders.
“They’re…loud,” Liam comments, slipping a finger into his ear as he casts a disapproving scowl over his audience.
I laugh listlessly as I stand at the lectern, clicking around on the laptop to open up the Powerpoint he’s about to present to the room. “Can you blame them? They’re about to listen to a billionaire business tycoon, a military veteran and a professional football player giving speeches today. They’re excited.”
Leaning an elbow on the lectern, Wyatt chuckles. “Trust me, they’re all here to see the football guy. No offence to the billionaire.”
“None taken,” Liam assures my brother in a dry tone.
>
A shrieking blonde-haired child with pink glitter smeared all over her hands appears out of nowhere and weaves her way between us. She ducks behind Liam for cover from the knobby-kneed boy who’s chasing her.
“Sorry! Sorry!” she squawks as she dashes away, leaving streaks of glitter down the back of my boss’s custom-tailored pants. Pants that probably cost more than the combined value of all my assets.
Liam stares down at the mess, his expression hard. “Remind me again why I agreed to this,” he demands.
“Uh, because promoting the welfare of our youth is a noble and philanthropic cause?” I supply.
“Try again,” he deadpans.
“Because the costs associated with this event are tax deductible?”
“Oh right. That’s more like it.” He glances at my brother. “I need to go find a drink. Preferably something with whiskey in it.” He heads for the kitchen.
Wyatt follows after him. “Sorry to be a party-pooper but I think you’re at the wrong venue for whiskey, bro.”
Organizing this talk is one of the first tasks Liam asked me to coordinate in my new position. While giving motivational speeches to the kids at the Sin Valley Community Center does not fall within the scope of Kline-Simmons’s regular activities, it is part of the firm’s implicit commitment to being active within the local community.
My brother and my boss are among the guests who will be speaking to the kids today. The third guest is Maxwell Masters, captain of the Paragons.
Jace turned down Liam’s invitation to be a part of this event. That makes me very sad. I know that the kids would have loved to have the local hero here today, dispensing life lessons that he’s learned from his time on the field. What hurts even worse is knowing the reason he turned down the invitation. He feels like he has nothing to teach these kids and that’s just not true. He’s an incredible person—strong, resilient, funny—and it breaks my heart that he can’t see those things in himself.
Playing House: A Small Town Brother’s Best Friend Romance (The Playboys of Sin Valley Book 1) Page 30