by Kelly Moore
“I wanted to with every fiber of my being, but I didn’t do it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mags. You’re starting to scare me.”
“Derrick.”
“What about Derrick?” He holds me tight as my wet clothes soak into him.
“I took his shoes into his room, and his clothes were laying on the floor.” I swallow hard.
“And?” he questions.
“I picked up his pants to lay them on the bed, and I found a bag of cocaine in his pocket.”
Without a word, he gets out of the tub and starts screaming Derrick’s name. I turn the water back on and drown out the sound of the yelling. Laying my head on my knees that are drawn up, my head starts to shake as I let out the tears.
I don’t understand this need in me that wanted the drugs so badly. It was almost like I could taste it and feel it rolling through my veins. It’s a yearning that seemed familiar, yet I don’t remember it. I almost let it take control, and then I saw Will’s face and the faces of our children. It was the only thing that kept me from snorting up the white lines I had drawn in the powder.
I don’t know how long I had been sitting here when Will came back into the room. Instead of crawling in with me this time, he starts pacing in front of the tub.
“He’s gone and so are his drugs.”
“I’m sorry,” I mutter.
He stops walking and turns the shower off again. “Have you been to rehab?”
I look up through my wet hair. “I don’t know.”
He yanks the shower curtain down in a fit of anger. “How would you not know if you’ve been to rehab or not, Maggie! Quit lying to me!” His harsh words buzz through the room like hornets threatening me with their barbed stingers.
I brace my hands on either side of the tub and stand. “I’m not lying to you, Will. I honestly don’t remember ever doing drugs. Obviously, I did.” I hold out my arms pointing to the tracks hidden underneath my tattoos. “My body even knows I did it, or I wouldn’t have craved it so badly, but my mind doesn’t recall it.”
He takes my face in his hands and studies my eyes. I can’t tell if second thoughts about me are jabbing him like a sharp stick. “You look clean,” he says.
“I told you, I didn’t do it. I saw your face and I couldn’t.” I sniff.
He stares at me for a moment then grabs me to him. “I’m so sorry I let him in this house. He swore to me that he wasn’t using anymore.”
“It’s not your fault.”
He snatches a towel and hands it to me. “Patrick got him hooked.” I can see the pain permanently embedded on his face. “I’ve tried to help him like I did Patrick. Evidently, I failed him too.”
I strip out of my clothes and dry my body. “You can’t make someone stop using, Will. They have to want it for themselves.”
He walks out into the bedroom, and I wrap the towel around myself.
“I’m so sick of losing the people I love to drugs. I can’t lose you too.”
His shoulders slump in defeat.
“You aren’t going to lose me to it. As soon as I saw your face, I didn’t want it anymore. I love you, and I promise you, here and now, that I’ll never want it more than I want you and our children.”
He starts peeling himself out of his wet clothes. As his shirt goes over his head, I place my hands on his chest. “I’m sorry, and I’m sorry about your friend.”
He rips his shirt the rest of the way over his head and throws it into the bathroom. “I gave up my company.”
“What? I thought someone was running it for you?”
His belt makes a whipping sound as he pulls it from his wet jeans. “I failed the one person in my life I wanted to help the most, so I gave it up.” He kicks his pants off and changes into dry boxers.
“You didn’t fail Patrick. It was his choice, just like it was mine to not take the drugs I so badly wanted today.”
His jaw clenches as he turns his head away from me. Tension is wheeling off his body. His muscles are tight in his chest and twitching. I step up close to him and drop my towel to the floor. His face stays to the side, but his look travels over my naked body. I go to my tiptoes and kiss the spot on his jaw that’s seized tight, and he exhales. I trace the band of his boxers with my hands, and I cup him through the material.
He turns his face toward me, and I swear his glare bores through me. I can’t tell if he’s angry or filled with lust. Right now, I think it’s a fine line with him.
He startles me when he grabs my hands off him and pushes me backward toward the bed. I fall down with a huff but refuse to take my eyes off him. His muscular chest heaves as he runs a hand through his hair like he’s trying to gain his control.
“Don’t think, Will. I want all of you.” I raise one foot up on the bed, exposing myself to him. He literally growls and rips off his boxers, then he’s on top of me like a wild man.
My nipple stings as he sucks it into his mouth and then taunts it with his teeth. I cry out his name with the sensation. He crawls down my body and with the palms of his hands, he pushes my thighs apart then settles between them. I can still feel the tension rolling off him with each lick and suck. It’s brutal, but it feels so damn good. I don’t know if he’s punishing me or himself, but I’ll take it from him.
His fingers dig into my skin so hard I think my skin will bruise, but any pain I feel is covered with the pleasure he’s giving me. I need the pain right now. I can’t explain it, but somehow, it makes me feel alive. I lust for it as much as I yearned to take the drugs. His touch is so much more real and healing.
My orgasm sneaks up on me, exploding with a passion that I’ve never felt before. I wildly buck off the bed and then with all my might, I pull him up and flip him over. The adrenaline coursing through me makes me bold.
He’s flat on his back, and I’m hovering over his chest. “I want to ride you, Will.”
If fuels his desire, and he grabs my hips, guiding me over him. I seat myself fully on him and place my hands on his chest. “Sit still and let me make love to you.” He loosens his grip on my hips but leaves them in place.
I bite my bottom lip and throw my head back as I raise up and then sit back down. He groans, and I do it again, and then I rock my hips back and forth. I swear he grows even larger inside me. I’m so full, if I move I know I’ll come again. I want to feel him filling me as long as I can. The moment doesn’t last long when he lifts me up by the hips, and I slam my body back down on him, filling me. I spiral so hard I can hardly catch my breath between gasps. I focus on trying to find a rhythm that takes him over the edge with me. It causes me to have another orgasm, and he roars, sitting up and holding me tight to him as he finds his release.
Chapter 13
“Caroline, I’m so glad you made it.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she says, kissing my cheeks.
I see the limo driver take off, but no sign of Will’s father behind her. “Is Mr. Taylor coming tomorrow for the wedding?”
Sadness covers her sweet face. “He’s not going to make it, dear.”
“Does Will know that?”
She looks around the cottage. “Is Will here?” she asks quietly.
“No. He and our friend Hank are running some super secretive last-minute errand for the wedding.” I laugh briefly. “Come on in and have a seat.”
She straightens her peach-colored dress before she sits on the couch. “I’m afraid I have some bad news, but I don’t want to ruin the day for you and Will.”
I sit next to her. “Are you okay?”
“I moved out of the house and into one of our bed and breakfasts.”
“You left Mr. Taylor?” My mouth gapes. “You two have been married for years.”
“He’s changed so much the last couple of years, and I can’t tolerate the way he treats Will. He told me about visiting him here, and it was the last straw for me. God knows I love the man, but I can’t live with his decisions anymore. Losing Patrick was hard enough
, but him chasing away Will is more than I can stand. He’s always kept Will at arm’s length, but he was never cruel to him like he is now.” A stray tear slips down her pink cheek.
“Maybe he needs some grief counseling.” I take her hand.
“I don’t think it will ever change the way he sees Will. He will always compare him to his brother, and I think he blames Will for not saving him. For some reason, he thinks Will held his brother back from so many things in life.”
“Will loved Patrick and wanted to help him.”
“I know. They were thick as thieves at one time but fiercely protective of one another.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’ve filed for a divorce, and I’m going to move on with my life.”
“I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Just love my son with all your heart.”
“I already do. You’ve raised a wonderful son that you can be very proud of, and he’s as easy to love as sipping sweet tea on a lazy August afternoon.”
She laughs and then grows quiet. “I think I should wait until after the wedding to tell him.”
“Tell me what?” Hank and Will come rushing through the front door. She stands and Will hugs his mother.
“It’s nothing that can’t wait, sweetie. I’m so excited for your big day tomorrow.” She plasters on a smile that was gone only a few moments ago.
“Who is this beautiful young lady?” Hank asks.
“Sorry, Hank. This is my mother, Caroline.”
Shocking both of us, Hank takes her hand and kisses the back of it. “It’s so nice to meet you,” he says with a twinkle in his blue eyes that I’ve never seen before.
Caroline’s cheeks turn an even darker shade of pink. “It’s nice to meet you too, Hank. I’ve heard a lot about you from my son.”
“Will didn’t tell me he had such a beautiful mother.”
“Hank, come help me in the kitchen,” I say and then lean into Caroline’s ear, “tell him.” I take Hank by the hand and drag him behind me.
“So, tell me what the two of you have been up to today?”
“My lips are sealed,” he says, zippering his lips with his fingers.
I can’t help but smile at him. “Set the table for me, will you?” I hand him the white plates for the cabinet.
“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” he asks as he places the dishes on the table.
“Not at all. I can’t wait to be Will’s wife. Mrs. Maggie Taylor. I love the sound of that.”
“Thank you for letting me be a part of it by walking you down the aisle. It means a lot to this old man.” He walks around the table and stands in front of me. “What are you two going to do at the end of the summer? Go back to New York?” His face looks sad as he stuffs his hands in his pockets.
“I don’t know for sure, but I wouldn’t mind living here. Will has hinted a few times that he would like to stay in Southport. I suppose I could find a teaching job at one of the local schools.”
“You know, I’m not getting any younger, and the two of you could run the market, and I would sure like to retire. Besides, I’d really like you guys to stick around.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah. I mean, I would still need to teach you guys a few things, but I think the two of you would work out just fine.” He winks at me.
“I don’t know that I would want to give up teaching altogether, but I think Will would love it. He’s such a people person.”
“It’s a great little town to raise a family.” He points at me.
I run my hand over my stomach. “Are you trying to tell me something, Hank?”
“No, but I’ve heard Will mention how much he wants kids.”
Will walks into the kitchen with his arm around his mother’s shoulder. Their eyes are both red, and Caroline’s lip is quivering. “I could sure use a glass of wine,” she says as Will pulls a chair out for her to sit.
“I’ll get the glasses,” Hank says, opening up the cabinet door.
As I watch Hank and Caroline interact through dinner, I could swear he’s flirting with her. She laughs at all his corny jokes and seems truly interested in his every word. The words Alice spoke to Hank when he was unconscious comes to mind. There is someone he needs to meet. Hmmm.
Will is quiet as he crawls into bed next to me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask curling into his side.
“I’m worried about my mom, and I feel like it’s all my fault.”
I raise up on my elbow to look at him. “How is her leaving him your fault?”
“She left him because of how he treats me.”
“That makes it his fault, not yours. A mother is supposed to protect her children.”
“Yeah, but I’m not a child anymore, and I don’t care how he treats me as long as he loves her and is good to her.”
“Sometimes that isn’t enough.”
“That’s what she said.” He kisses my forehead. “I will never treat our children badly. I will love them unconditionally, just like I love their mother.”
I nestle under the covers with him. “I think Hank was a little smitten with your mom.”
“He did act all weird, didn’t he?”
“I’ve never seen Hank all charming, and he kept making her laugh through dinner.”
“What happened to, ‘Alice is the only woman for me.’”
“Apparently, that went out the door when he laid eyes on your mom.”
“I’ll have to have a little chat with him.”
“They are grown adults. Besides, I don’t think your mom is really into starting up another relationship. She’ll put Hank in his place in her own way.”
“You’re right. She can handle herself.” He pulls me on top of him. “Do you want to fool around one more time as a single woman? After tomorrow we get to have married sex.”
“I love you, Will.”
We are woken up the next morning with a repeated pounding on the front door. Will pulls on a pair of shorts over his boxers as he climbs out of bed. “I’ll go see who it is,” he says as he walks out of the bedroom.
I hear a deep baritone voice and then Will say, “Why the hell are you here now?”
I rush out of bed, throw on a sundress, and head for the living room. Will’s dad is standing in the middle of the room, looking worn and tattered. His normally neat appearance is in disarray. His white collared shirt is unbuttoned, and his sleeves are sloppily rolled to his elbows. His face looks like it’s aged ten years in just a few short weeks.
“I heard you were getting married,” he says, looking past Will at me.
I walk over to Will and wrap my arm around his waist, forming a united front. “We are,” I say.
He runs his hands down his unshaven face. “I guess you heard your mom has left me?”
“Who can blame her,” Will adds sharply.
True regret covers his face. “Believe it or not, I love your mother very much.”
“Part of loving her meant loving your children too,” Will says.
“I know I haven’t always shown it, but I do love you.”
“Always”—Will laughs—“how about never. Not once have you ever even told me. All I’ve ever seen in your eyes is disappointment in me. More like ashamed of your stupid son.”
His father hangs his head. “You’re right. That is all I ever showed you, and I’m sorry.”
“You’re only sorry because Mom finally had her fill of your behavior toward me. I’m sorry I didn’t turn out like you wanted me to be, but I’m not sorry for the man I’ve become, and I have my mother to thank for that. And Patrick. You never once tried to help me. And then, the whole thing with Phoebe, you never believed me. You chose your best friend’s daughter over your own son. You didn’t even believe it when Patrick told you about her.”
His father’s shield breaks as his lip quivers. “I didn’t know how to help you, and I let my pride get in the way. It was easier to love a
nd be proud of Patrick, and for that, I’m an ass. I wish I could change a lot of things, but I have to live with my regrets. Patrick is my biggest one. Maybe if I wouldn’t have pushed him so hard, he’d still be here. Instead, I blamed you. I’m so sorry, Will. I know none of this will get my wife back, but I don’t want to lose my son too.” He glances up at Will through his tears. “I love you, son, and I will do anything to make it up to you.”
I let go of Will. “I think I’ll take a walk and let the two of you talk.” I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek.
I take a long walk along the beach, allowing them plenty of time to talk. I don’t head back inside until I see Will’s father’s limo pull away from the cottage. I go inside to find Will standing in front of the kitchen window, looking out while taking a sip of water.
“How did it go?” I ask as I wrap my arms around his waist.
“I don’t really know. I think he’s sorry, but I don’t think he and I will ever be close.” He turns in my arms. “I’m glad he’s finally seen what he’s done all these years, but it’s too late. He’s lost the best thing that ever happened to him, and I’m not sure he will recover. I picture him wallowing in his own pity for a while and then becoming a bitter old man.”
“I’m sorry, but I do think in his own way he loves you or he wouldn’t have shown up here at all.”
“Maybe you’re right. Only time will tell.”
The day could not be any more beautiful. The sun is sitting high in the sky with nothing but blue surrounding it. I put on the last touch of makeup as Caroline hands me my flowers.
“I’m so glad that Will found you and that you will be my daughter.”
Her words make my eyes water thinking about my mother. I often wonder what she would be like had she straightened her life out. I miss the idea of a mother, and I’m glad that Caroline is so accepting of me.
“I’m the lucky one. Not only do I get Will, I get to have a mother too.” I want to hug her, but I don’t want to wrinkle my white slim-fitting gown.
“You look stunning, dear.” She smiles, but I can see the hint of sadness lingering in her eyes.