‘No.’ He kissed her cheek. ‘I can see Mum and Dad coming so that means I can go in now. Sure you won’t stay a bit longer?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘What? In the apartment with you? That would be seriously weird. You get your girl home and live happily ever after.’ She kissed him gently on his forehead in return.
Then, over his shoulder, she saw a figure coming towards her along the hospital corridor. A tall, well-set figure, a familiar figure, who faltered for an instant, then strode on. ‘Oh!’ she said in surprise. She pulled away from Will, her cheeks heating even though the embrace was only a friendly one.
Will turned to see what had caught her attention. ‘Ah!’ he said, glancing between Clancy and Aaron with a small smile. ‘Sometime, you need to update me on what you’ve been doing since you left. Thanks again, Clancy. You’re a star.’ Then he gave a wink and vanished through the double doors to Renée’s ward.
Aaron continued towards Clancy, although his eyes followed Will for several moments.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked, suddenly breathless.
He halted, his dark eyes switching to her. ‘I came to see if you’re OK. Phone calls seemed too distant. I would have come yesterday but Lee took Daisy off for a break without telling anyone. Until they turned up again, Mum panicked.’ He hesitated. ‘Lee and Daisy have moved in with me—’
‘Lee told me.’ It seemed a long time since the discovery of that fact, on top of Alice leaving her with Hugo and her B&B plans foundering, had pitched her into the doldrums. Then a thought occurred. ‘Had Lee been with Alice?’
Aaron shook his head. ‘Apparently not, though she seems to have taken off again.’
‘Hugo told me. I haven’t had time to worry about getting in touch with her.’ In fact, she’d all but forgotten, overtaken, as she’d been, by other events.
He sat down on the seat next to hers. ‘So, are you OK?’
She felt herself flushing. Had he come all this way to ask that? ‘I’m fine. I was just saying goodbye to Will. Indications are good that Renée and the baby are going to be all right. Monty and Asila too. They’ll all go home to be looked after by their loved ones in the next few days. The crisis is on its way to being over.’
His gaze didn’t waver. ‘Are you coming back to Nelson’s Bar?’
She managed a grin. ‘I suppose it is changeover day tomorrow so I ought to.’
He didn’t smile and she felt as if he saw right through her, heard everything she wasn’t saying. ‘That sounds as if you’re not sure you’re ready.’
Her gaze slid away from his without her meaning it to. ‘One thing I’ve had plenty of time to realise, hanging around waiting areas, is that there’s a lot of stuff to sort out.’ A tiny sigh escaped her.
‘What?’ he murmured, sliding an arm around her. ‘Talk to me.’ Then, before she could try, ‘Actually, not here. I’d like to see the area where you used to live. We can talk over lunch.’
She looked at him in surprise, but agreed. ‘It would certainly be nice to be outside.’
They had to move both their vehicles and find pay-and-display kerbside parking in Chalk Farm, which, as usual, was tiresome and took time. It was nearly two by the time they were standing on Prince of Wales Road.
‘So the apartment is up there, on the corner,’ she said, feeling self-conscious. Aaron didn’t look out of place because he didn’t have hayseeds in his hair or anything, but she suspected he was feeling out of place without the sea on one side of him and windy lanes and cute cottages on the other. ‘I slept there the last couple of nights but packed my bag and put it in the car this morning. Will should be taking Renée home soon.’
He turned to gaze at her. ‘Does that make you unhappy?’
‘No,’ she said, honestly, not even having to think about it. ‘I’m ready for it to be her home now. But it’s been a godsend for the boys to use the spare room. Did you know Anabelle’s taken them off to live with her in Leicester?’
‘I knew she was going to. I feel sorry for Jordy but … you can’t keep someone who doesn’t want to be with you.’
She nodded. ‘Harry was so sweet when he said goodbye last night. Got all mushy about me helping him and Rory out. The pair of them and Anabelle went to a Travelodge in Leicester while they find a house to rent. He’s got really conflicted feelings about his parents splitting up.’
‘I’ve talked to him on the phone. It’s a lot to cope with for him.’ Aaron glanced back at the apartment building on the corner. ‘So were you on the sofa?’ He didn’t justify the question or look embarrassed. He just asked.
‘Had to, really. The boys were in the spare room.’ She watched his eyes carefully and saw them flicker.
Then she decided to change the subject, taking him at his word that he was interested in her old stamping ground. ‘This is Prince of Wales Road, NW5. If you go down Crogsland Road to Haverstock Hill you’ll see the tube station. In more or less the opposite direction is Malden Road where we could find somewhere nice for lunch. Would you like to have a wander around first?’ It seemed very different to striding around the clifftops of Nelson’s Bar but he’d expressed an interest so she felt she ought to offer a tour.
‘That would be good.’ He took her hand and brushed a kiss on the back of it, then paid attention as she took him around the neighbourhood she’d once called home, raising his eyebrows to see so much living accommodation over shops.
As he didn’t look impressed, she joked, ‘Or you can live in a nine-bedroom house at the Belsize Park end if you have five million quid or so.’ He looked pained.
She showed him Talacre Park and the gardens, and he studied the benches full of people eating lunch in the sunshine. He kept glancing at the sky, she noticed, as if checking it was still there. She found herself trying to make up for his lack of enthusiasm, or perhaps her old choices in living here, by listing all the great advantages to living and working in London. He seemed to listen.
They ate lunch at a pavement café in Malden Road on wooden tables and benches similar to those outside the B&B. That was the only similarity. Here the traffic was a constant presence. They had to raise their voices over its noise and they could taste exhaust fumes along with their paninis.
He said suddenly, ‘You’re not sure about Nelson’s Bar, are you?’
‘My things are there,’ she said, unguardedly, but logically.
He put down the last of his panini. ‘Is that your only reason for going back?’ He was using his stolid, unemotional voice.
She paused to drink from her coffee mug, ultra-conscious that she actually yearned to return. Mainly because of him. And it might not be what he wanted to hear. OK, so she was intelligent enough to realise that him being here now, with her, out of his milieu, was because of her, but the memory of how hard he’d fought to keep his own space when he was with Genevieve was pin-sharp in her memory. What if, one day, Clancy too wanted more than Aaron was able to give?
‘I thought I’d fallen in love with Nelson’s Bar,’ she said slowly, watching a delivery lorry stop outside a shop causing the traffic in both directions to have to squeeze into the remaining room with horn-blowing and hand-waving from irascible drivers. ‘But I’m not sure how Nelson’s Bar feels about me. Alice and Hugo arriving changed everything for the worse. If Hugo stays with Alice gone, the Roundhouse will be a torture chamber and he’s Alice’s legal husband so I have no power to chuck him out.’
‘I probably could,’ Aaron observed, ‘but it might take time.’ He waited for her to go on.
‘My B&B idea fell through. Kaz and Oli can’t even accept me as a long-term guest.’ Like the IsVid situation all over again, she’d realised, she’d begun to feel squeezed out.
Being wanted was important.
A sigh escaped her. ‘So I’ve been thinking about alternatives.’ She didn’t tell him that the alternatives were mainly driven by her trying to create conditions in which their relationship would flourish. ‘I thought maybe Thornham or Titchwell
, until the end of October when bookings drop off at Roundhouse Row. Then my money should be through and I can think about starting up a business and buying a place.’
The frown had remained pinned to his forehead. ‘But not in Nelson’s Bar?’
‘I don’t think so.’ She blinked, because being pragmatic wasn’t always joyful.
‘How does being back here in London feel?’ he asked, after a minute.
‘Weird. Familiar. Good. Bad. As you know, I was towed along in my parents’ wake in my childhood. Going back instead of forward hasn’t cropped up much.’ She screwed up her face in thought. ‘Will asked me if I’d return to IsVid on a temporary basis until everyone gets back on their feet, but I’m not really needed because they’ll all be working from home on their laptops in no time. That part of my life is over. The agreements will soon be ready to be signed.’
‘Right.’ He gazed around himself, taking in the constant traffic noise, the endless stream of passing people.
She could almost see him hating the noise, the fumes, the bustle. ‘Do you think it would be a good idea to leave soon? This is a very late lunch and if we hang on much longer we’ll get caught up in rush hour.’
Slowly, he nodded. ‘OK. If you’re sure you’re ready to go, I’ll follow you up. Your Beemer’s a racer and my truck’s more of a cart horse.’
Clancy dawdled on the final leg of the journey, but Aaron’s truck never appeared in her mirrors.
Soon she was driving into Nelson’s Bar, through the dappled sunlight of the pinewoods, up Long Climb and curving down sharply into the final dip. When she pulled up in front of the Roundhouse she stepped out of her car with some ambivalence, glad to be back in Nelson’s Bar but not looking forward to interacting with Hugo again. Stretching out the kinks of the journey from her back and legs, she pulled her bag out of the boot and let herself in through the front door.
For once, Hugo wasn’t lounging on the sofa. He was asleep – or passed out – on the floor with three empty wine bottles for company.
Her nose wrinkling, Clancy coughed at the sour smell, leaving the door open to let in some much-overdue fresh air. Hugo roused, blinking blearily as he heaved himself up on one elbow. ‘Oh. It’s you.’
‘Alice hasn’t returned then?’ Clancy asked, as she headed for the stairs, determining that her next job would have to be finding a new, however temporary, abode.
‘No.’ Hugo sounded pitiful. ‘Genevieve has been here looking for her so she’s not with her either. Where have you been? Have you seen her?’
‘Nope. Looks like she’s gone.’
He fixed Clancy with an ugly look. ‘Don’t know what you’re looking so pleased about. Alice doesn’t really like you, you know. She laughs at you behind your back about this shithole little village.’ Then he added, with evident triumph, ‘And Alice and Genevieve queered your pitch with the people at the B&B.’
Clancy halted, her knees suddenly turning to water.
‘That’s right,’ Hugo jeered, satisfaction thick in his voice at having brought her up short. ‘They’ve been egging me on to be obnoxious to you too.’
Clancy’s heart pounded so heavily the blood roared in her ears and she thought she might actually have toppled over if an arm hadn’t snaked around her waist. ‘You really are slime, Hugo,’ said Aaron’s voice. He must have drawn up just behind her after all. He turned Clancy to look into her face. ‘He’s not necessarily a reliable source of information.’
‘I don’t know,’ she gasped, the air feeling too thick to breathe. ‘It could be true, couldn’t it? Genevieve tried to make mischief with your parents right under my nose. It would have been easy to work on Kaz behind my back.’
Aaron stroked Clancy’s back. ‘I’ll speak to Genevieve—’ he began grimly.
With an effort, Clancy straightened her backbone. ‘Thanks. But I don’t care about Genevieve. It’s time I tried to get hold of Alice.’ She took an instant’s strength from his warmth, then gently disengaged herself and squared her shoulders. She could cope alone. It’s what she was good at. ‘Can I ring you in a bit, when I’ve had time to sort myself out?’
Disappointment and doubt warred in his voice but he released her. ‘Come and use my Wi-Fi to make your call then. I have an errand to run, so you can have your privacy. I’m not leaving you here like this.’ He glared at Hugo over Clancy’s shoulder.
She didn’t argue. The possible scale of the betrayal from Alice was just too much. She muttered, ‘Thanks,’ took out her car keys and trailed outside. In moments she was pulling away again, driving drearily towards Potato Hall Row. Realising that Aaron was no longer in her rear-view mirror and seeing Lee’s van outside, she got out of the car and found she could pick up the Wi-Fi if she positioned herself halfway around the workshop, out of sight of any of the windows. She didn’t feel like talking to Lee just yet. He was way too entangled in her issues.
She rang Alice’s number. The call was declined.
Enraged, she sent a rapid text, her finger ends hurting she stabbed the screen so hard. ANSWER THE BLOODY PHONE!!!! She gave that a minute to be delivered, then tried again.
Alice answered. ‘Hi, Clancy! I’ve been meaning to get in touch with you.’ She sounded guilty.
Clancy cut straight to the chase. ‘Did you and Genevieve tell Kaz something that made her pull back from accepting my offer to buy into the B&B?’
A shocked silence, possibly at Clancy’s voice emerging like a death-metal roar. ‘It wasn’t me,’ Alice protested. Then, more reluctantly, ‘I think Kaz mentioned your idea to Genevieve and Genevieve sort of hinted … Well, she said … Y’know, a bit gossipy.’
‘No, I don’t know!’ snapped Clancy. ‘Suppose you tell me?’
A pause, then Alice went on, sounding suddenly remorseful and uncertain. ‘It was … well, just like … there must be a reason you’d been dumped by your old colleagues and Will at the same time.’
Clancy could hardly believe her ears. ‘So she painted me as someone nobody wanted to be tied to?’
Alice’s voice got smaller. ‘Sorry. I didn’t really think how shitty that was. Wine was involved when she told me and she made it sound a bit like a joke she was playing on you because she was upset about you and Aaron. Then I wasn’t sure how to tell you. And then I left anyway.’
‘You’re my cousin.’ It was the phrase Alice had used so often, too often, to justify requests for help or treating Clancy unfairly. Clancy closed her eyes and leaned wearily against the wall, tipping back her head and closing her eyes against the sun. ‘I’ve taken a lot of responsibility on your behalf over the past six years.’
‘I know.’ Alice sounded genuinely distressed.
‘You never gave a thing back.’ Clancy’s voice strengthened as she realised just how sick of it she was. ‘Not a thing. When I was on the way to creating a nice new life here, you came back and ruined it, bringing your awful, crappy, bastard, obnoxious husband with you. And now you’ve run off and left him behind like a turd in a swimming pool so I have to find somewhere else to live at no notice.’
‘Oh! I never thought—’ Alice began to cry.
‘You must have thought, Alice. Even leaving aside whether you fully appreciated the effects of Genevieve stabbing me in the back about the B&B, the business I’d hoped would give me roots in Nelson’s Bar, you could see and hear Hugo being horrible to me on a daily basis.’
Alice cried harder. ‘I did ask him to stop.’
‘Big deal.’ Clancy felt so exhausted she could almost have dropped the phone and slept on the floor. ‘Find someone else to run Roundhouse Row for you in future. I’m going to be busy.’ She ended the call and stumped back to her car, intending to find somewhere to sit in the sunlight and try and work out what to do with her life.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Once Aaron had seen Clancy drive off to his place to use the Wi-Fi, he climbed into his truck and drove the short distance to Trader’s Place and Genevieve’s cottage, her garden still bearing the sc
ars left by her builders. It was late enough in the afternoon for her to be home from work.
He knocked. ‘Gen,’ he said when she answered, ignoring the smile that blazed across her face when she saw who her caller was. He looked into her blue eyes, sorry that it had come to this between them but having not a single qualm about what he was about to say. ‘I’ve just heard a worrying allegation that you might be making mischief for Clancy, specifically with Kaz and Oli at the B&B.’ He watched the smile vanish and apprehension slide into her eyes. He went on grimly, ‘I hate to think that it’s true, because we both understand that we’re over. Don’t we? No going back, whatever happens, so you know there’s no point. No. Point. At. All.’
Her eyes filled with pain, but she gave him a querulous smile. ‘I just … I …’
He’d been in a relationship with this woman for a year, so he bit his tongue on the anger he wanted to bellow in her face. ‘I can’t be what you want. You’re not what I want.’
She nodded jerkily and he turned away without trying to soften his rejection, Clancy’s hurt and bewildered face in pin-sharp focus in his mind’s eye.
When he’d set out early this morning he’d drawn castles in the air about Clancy coming back to Nelson’s Bar and them both living happily ever after. But did that make sense?
How could he expect things to change for him and Clancy if everything else remained the same? If Lee and Alice’s situation put them in opposition, if Genevieve made mischief, if even his own mum was cool to the woman he loved? He got into his truck and paused to lean his arms on his steering wheel for a moment, expecting to have to absorb the impact of hearing the L word, even in his mind. But, no. It settled there quite happily.
When he pulled up outside his cottage a few minutes later, there was no sign of Clancy’s car so he could only assume she’d been and gone. He got out of the truck and went indoors. Nelson fired at him like a missile, tail a blur, whimpering far back in his throat as he did when he’d sincerely thought that his owner might never return – which seemed to be any time they were apart for more than twenty minutes.
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