“Petal.” He whispered harshly. Then he wrapped his hand around my waist and hauled me up as he switched places, sitting back on the couch and pulling me over him. I collapsed against him, letting my head rest on his shoulder. I didn’t want to look at him. I was afraid he was about to withdraw from me emotionally. Worse yet, I worried he’d regret this. So, I wanted a moment to simply savor the remnants of pleasure still shimmering through me.
His dick continued to pulse inside me and my pussy responded, massaging him. He’d gone softer inside me but not fully flaccid. But when I rocked my hips, he grew.
“Fuck…Jesus…” His hands went to my hips and I thought he might stop me, but instead, he shifted himself and opened his legs allowing me to sink further over him.
It seemed impossible to have the ability much less the energy to make the ascent to pleasureland again, and yet without a word, that was what we did. Slowly at first. Each time I moved over him, he filled me more.
His hands kneaded my breasts and when he bent forward and sucked my nipple into his mouth, I felt it straight to my pussy. Pleasure shot out. My hands gripped his shoulders as I rode him, harder, faster, more, more, more.
I moaned and whimpered as I hurled towards the edge of bliss.
“Yes, right there, Petal…fuck yes.” His hips bucked up in time with my movements. We were polar opposites in so many ways, and yet, like this, we fit perfectly. We were in complete sync, until finally, I hit the peak and soared again, crying out.
He groaned and immediately thrust up, letting himself come with me.
I collapsed against him again, soaking in the wonder of it all. I was no prude. I’d been with men before, but it had never been like that. Fast and furious and intense.
His head dropped back. “Fuck.” He finally lifted his head to look at me and I saw the regret. He was still inside me, but was regretting being there. “Petal.”
If I hadn’t seen it in his eyes, I’d have heard the regret in his voice.
“I know.” I looked down, unable to bear it even if I knew he was right. We were friends, after all. I moved off of him. “I’ll be right back.”
I hurried to the bathroom under the guise of cleaning up, but I really needed a moment to gather my strength so I could face him. I removed my dress which had been scrunched around my waist, and put on my robe. I combed my hair and washed my face. I wasn’t a sexy witch anymore. I looked more like a hungover housewife. If having sex with me didn’t scare him off, this look surely would.
When I came back out, he was dressed and leaning on the back of the couch, his eyes soft with sympathy as he looked at me.
“Petal, I’m sorry—”
I rushed to him and pressed a finger to his lips. “Please don’t tell me you’re sorry.”
He looked down. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m afraid I’ve hurt our friendship.”
I mustered a smile. “No. Nothing could ruin our friendship.” It occurred to me that perhaps the moment wasn’t quite as spectacular for him as it had been for me. He struck me as a man that had many opportunities with many women who were likely sexier and more adventurous than me in the sex department. I wondered if he was disappointed.
At the same time, I recognized that we’d crossed the line. I blamed the Halloweentinis for making me amorous and reducing my inhibitions.
He started to reach out like he was going to touch my face but then stopped. “Are you okay? I was a little rough that first time.”
I nodded. “I’m fine. I…ah…well…never mind.”
“What?” His eyes were dark and yet soft. It was amazing how such a fierce looking man could appear so warm and safe.
I looked down. “I liked it.” I glanced up at him wondering if he thought I was being a silly girl.
His smile was sincere. “I did too.”
Of course, he’d say that, even if he didn’t mean it. So I turned away.
“Petal.” His hand rested on my shoulder but I didn’t turn around. “Really. That was amazing. But we’re friends. As much as I’d enjoy doing it more, I don’t want to fuck that up.”
I nodded. “Me too.” I walked with him to the door.
His expression was sad. “Your friendship means a lot to me. I’m afraid I’ve ruined it.”
I worked up a smile even though each time he mentioned our friendship felt like a stab in the heart. “No. Your friendship means a lot to me too. It will be fine. One small drunken incident of friends with benefits.”
His lips twitched upward. “I’m not drunk.”
“You were drunk on the sexy witch costume.” I said working to return to the usual banter we had.
“That is true,” he admitted. “I’ll see you around.”
“Bye.” I gave him a little wave and watched as he turned and headed down the stairs. I shut the door, and leaned against it, letting out a breath.
It took me a moment to get my bearings and then I pushed off from the door and got ready for bed. As I climbed under the covers, I wondered if I’d wake up tomorrow thinking this was all a dream. Maybe it was. What I hoped was that I didn’t wake up feeling embarrassed by it. I didn’t regret it happening, although I understood Cyrus’ position. But I knew he regretted it and I couldn’t deny that his wish for it to never have happened hurt me. I could see he knew it hurt me and he regretted that too.
I woke with a start the next morning as I realized he hadn’t used a condom. I suppose the booze and sexual haze had robbed me of that realization last night. I shot from bed and checked my calendar to see if our one mistake would lead to another. It was early in my cycle and so I felt relatively safe. I remembered when April and Cyrus decided to have Bertie, she’d mentioned to me the sign of ovulation, and ever since then, I’d always been aware of when it happened to me. Checking the calendar, I knew I was a week away at least from that part of my cycle. Whew!
With that scare out of the way, I showered and dressed, and was at the bakery by five thirty putting in a few batches of cupcakes and frosting the ones I’d made the night before. But the busy work didn’t dull the fact that I could still taste Cyrus’ kiss and feel his steel length moving inside me, and his regret at having touched me. I tried to focus on the wonderful memory instead of the regret and embarrassment. I figured if anything, I had a real-life fantasy to conjure up when I was alone and needing a little self-stimulation.
I opened my shop on time and went through my day as usual. It was almost like Cyrus’ complete and total domination of my body never happened. I supposed it was a good thing that it was the weekend and so I didn’t expect to see him.
I had my usual morning crowd that slowed down as noontime arrived. I was getting ready to take a little break when April and Maya showed up.
I grinned and clapped my hands over my heart. “Look who’s here.”
“Petal, look, I got a ribbon for my science project at school.”
I came around the counter to examine her ribbon. “Wow. That’s fantastic. You’re so smart. If I ever have a daughter, I hope she’s as smart as you.”
“I can help her,” Maya said.
“We thought we’d come by and say hi since the boys are home napping,” April said.
“I’m glad you did. I have some new cupcake flavors I want to share with you.” I pulled out the new flavors from the case. “Here’s a lemon blueberry, and here is a pumpkin cheesecake one.”
“That sounds so decadent,” April said, as I went to pour her some coffee as well.
We sat at a table and April and Maya tried the cupcakes.
“I like the blueberry one,” Maya said. “Can you make one with bananas?”
I thought about it. “Yes.” At first, I thought of something like banana bread, but that would become a muffin. Then I remembered the classic banana pudding with vanilla wafer dessert and wondered if I could concoct something like that.
“You’re a cupcake scientist,” Maya said with a mouth full of frosting.
I grinned. “I am.”
“So, you were
quite popular last night at the party.” April’s comment was a loaded one.
“Was I?”
“Lyle was salivating.”
“He was drunk,” I quipped.
“It’s not good to be drunk,” Maya said, licking her fingers.
“No, it’s not,” April agreed. She looked over at me. “Did Cyrus ever relax?”
My body heated as it remembered the way Cyrus touched it. “Not really.” I stood and went to the counter, hoping she didn’t see the way my face had to be flushing if the heat in my cheeks was any indication. I grabbed a bottle of water so it didn’t look like I was avoiding eye contact.
“Do you suppose he was ever a kid?” April said looking over at me.
“What do you mean?” I drank from the water bottle letting the cool liquid cool my insides.
“He’s so serious and intense all the time.”
I didn’t know why I felt the need to defend him. She was right, he was usually serious and intense. “I think he’s just shy.”
April thought about that. “Jude worries about him now that he’s preoccupied with me and the kids. We don’t have a sense that he’s settling in outside of the business. But he does come here, right?”
I nodded. “On weekdays, yes. Plus, he’s fixing up his house. I don’t get the sense that he’s unhappy.” Although I wasn’t sure I’d really know.
April finished her coffee. “Well, if you think of anything we could do to help him feel more like this is his home, let me know.”
“Jude would know more than me,” I said. “I just give him a cupcake and coffee a few days a week.”
April arched a brow at me and I realized my tone was a little terser than it needed to be. “You knew about his house.”
“Selling cupcakes is like being a bartender. I hear a lot of things about a lot of people,” I said. I didn’t know why I was being so evasive with her. She was my best friend and I really did want to confide in her. Of course, Maya was here so telling April that Cyrus had given me the orgasm to end all orgasms wasn’t appropriate right now. Or maybe since Cyrus had so much regret over what happened, I just wanted to forget it ever happened.
April was watching me with suspicion as she told Maya to clean up. Then she ordered a couple cupcakes to take home to Jude.
I’d only had a minute to catch my breath after they left before another stream of customers arrived. I was grateful to them for distracting me.
The rest of my weekend went as usual except I was still ruminating on being naked on my couch with Cyrus. On Monday morning, as I put the chocolate peanut butter cupcakes in the display case, I wondered how it would be when Cyrus showed up for his coffee and cupcake today. Would it be like it had been before we’d had sex? I hoped so because even if I wanted to get naked with him again, I also really wanted to remain his friend. I didn’t want it to be weird between us. I made a vow to act as normal as possible when he came in again.
That afternoon, I watched the door as I expected him to walk in at his usual time. But he didn’t. Nor did he arrive late. He didn’t come at all. My rational mind told me he probably had a good reason. Maybe something came up at work. But emotionally, I felt pain. I was certain he was avoiding me.
The rest of the day, I felt like I was moving around with lead in my legs and fog in my brain. It was shocking how down I felt at not seeing him again, especially at knowing it was because he regretted what had happened on Friday night.
9
Cyrus
Becoming a Navy SEAL had been no easy feat. It required physical strength but also an iron strong mental toughness. So it was disconcerting how quickly my willpower had abandoned me and I was overcome by the petite, sweet, sexy Petal. Through the course of the Halloween party, all my resolve to not touch her withered away and I’d taken her on her couch like a fucking caveman. How I hadn’t hurt her I didn’t know. Well, actually, I did hurt her but not physically. The knowledge that I’d taken advantage of her didn’t sit well.
Then there was the realization that I hadn’t used a condom. I was such a stupid fuck. She hadn’t said anything about it and so I had to hope she was protected. Still what did it say about the sort of man I was that I hadn’t thought about protecting her? She didn’t know my history and that I was healthy in that regard.
The next day, I’d told myself I was taking Petal’s advice to visit my mom since I was worried about her, but in truth, I needed time away to regain my mental strength so I could be Petal’s friend and not think about her luscious tits or how fucking amazing it had felt to slide inside her.
I tried to brush off how spectacularly I came to it having been a long time since I’d been with a woman, but who was I kidding. Afterall, I’d been masturbating to fantasies of Petal for nearly a year. Nope, somehow that woman had gotten under my skin. If I was going to retain my friendship with her, I’d need to stop thinking about her. I hoped a few days away would help with that.
When I arrived at my mother’s home in Chicago, I was surprised at how tired she looked even as she was excited to have me home.
She made me my favorite dinner and I took care of a few fix-it projects around the house. But her weight loss and chronic fatigue concerned me.
“Mom, you should see a doctor,” I finally said Sunday afternoon as we ate lunch. I’d already called Jude and told him I would be away for a few days this week helping my mom. I’d drag her kicking and screaming to the doctor if I had to.
“Oh, it’s nothing, Cy. Just age.”
“I want the doctor to tell me that.” I gave her a stern stare to tell her I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. She was the only family I had. I needed to know she was okay.
She rolled her eyes, but I could see she was concerned too. “I’ll go to the doctor if you consider calling Lora.”
My eyes narrowed. “I thought you didn’t like Lora. She broke your son’s heart.”
“Yes, well, I don’t like that part, but you two were in love and it couldn’t have been easy for you to be gone all the time.”
I arched a brow. “So, it’s my fault she fell in love with someone else while I was defending our country?”
“No, of course not. But I don’t think she really fell in love with someone else. I think she just wanted attention. Now that you’re back for good, maybe you can get back together. Get back what you lost.”
I was shaking my head before she finished. I was sure she was just wanting me to be happy, or maybe she wanted me to move back to Chicago. “That’s not happening mom.”
“Why not? I mean, I know you’re hurt and angry—”
“Not anymore I’m not.” It was the first time I realized that was true. I’d been bitter about Lora for a long time, but now I hardly thought about her. That was Petal’s doing. I supposed I should be grateful that she’d helped me get over Lora. But how the hell was I going to get over thinking dirty thoughts about Petal?
“Is there someone else?” my mother asked, her voice hopeful.
“No.” Sure, under different circumstances, I might ask Petal out and see what could happen. But she was my friend. She was Jude and April’s friend. It just seemed like I had a lot to lose if it didn’t go well.
“Then what could it hurt to see Lora?”
“I’m not averse to seeing her, but we won’t be getting back together, mom. It’s over. And you know what, maybe it’s the right thing.”
My mother furrowed her brows. “Why would you say that? You loved her. You wanted to marry her.”
“She didn’t love me enough to stay faithful and while I’m not seeing anyone else, I have been tempted by another woman, and I’m not sure that temptation wouldn’t have been there if I had married Lora.”
“Oh?”
“If Lora was the one, that wouldn’t happen.” Especially with the force and intensity of attraction I had to Petal.
She put her hand over mine. “If you and Lora were together, you wouldn’t be tempted. It only happened because you’re free now. Because
it’s okay.”
I wasn’t so sure. Of course, if I was married to Lora, I’d have never met Petal, so maybe my mom was right. But I had met Petal. I’d tasted her sweet pussy and fucked her like I was never going to be able to fuck again. It still rattled me how intense it was. How after coming so hard, she’d got my dick full and erect almost immediately again. It wasn’t the first time I’d been able to perform more than one time in a night, but I’d never recovered that fast before. And truth be told, had she taken me to her bed, I’d have probably been able to do it again. My libido seemed to be addicted to her.
Even so, it was best for all of us if she and I stayed friends. She needed to find a nice young man, that wasn’t Lyle or Jacob or Conner, and settle down. I could see her in a cozy home, not unlike my own, making cupcakes, kissing her husband as he went off for work, his patting her belly round with a child.
I jerked and stood quickly grabbing my plate and taking it to the kitchen as I realized the image was in my house and I was the man kissing her goodbye and patting her belly. No, god dammit, it needed to be another man. But even as I tried to picture it, jealousy roiled in my gut.
“What’s wrong,” my mother asked.
“Nothing,” I grumbled. “On Monday, I’m taking you to the doctor.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but I glared at her. I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Not when her health was at stake.
On Monday, my mother was able to get an appointment with her doctor that afternoon. Wanting to be sure she went to it; I drove her there and sat in the waiting room reading an old fishing magazine while she was attended to.
Tossing the magazine aside, I checked my watch to see how long it had been since she’d been called in to see him. I realized that now was the time I would normally be walking into Petal’s for my cupcake and coffee. A wave of guilt rolled through me that I wasn’t there. Would she think I was avoiding her? That I regretted our night together? Fuck, I was an asshole. Yes, I was avoiding her but that was because I couldn’t deal with being around her and wanting her so much. Especially now that I’d had her. I’d do anything to have more.
Friends to Lovers: A Secret Pregnancy Romance (Heart of Hope Book 6) Page 6