She gave me a wan smile as she stepped back. “I’m happy for you.” She went and got her purse. All of a sudden, I was afraid she wouldn’t be here to help me with my mom.
“I’m sorry Lora.”
“No. It’s my fault. But you should tell your mom. She’s worried about leaving you alone.”
My eyes narrowed. “Is that what that kiss was about? You’re trying to appease my mom?”
She gave a soft laugh. “No. I regret letting you go. Of course, she encouraged me, but I can see I don’t have a chance. But you should tell her about your new relationship as it will ease her worry.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“I’ll be back tomorrow.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief. I reminded myself that despite what had happened, Lora was a good person.
“Thank you, Lora.”
She gave me a wave and headed out.
I ate my sandwich, checked on my mom, and then went to bed. I replayed the scene in the kitchen, with Lora kissing me. I wondered if maybe I shouldn’t have stopped her. Maybe I should pursue a reconciliation. Lora was here in Chicago. My mother liked her. I could return and be a family like I’d once planned. Like my mother seemed to desperately want for me.
But Petal…fuck I couldn’t stop thinking of her. Entertaining the idea of taking Lora back made me sick to my stomach with guilt.
I picked up my cell phone, but it was dead. I plugged it in and then grabbed my mom’s cordless phone from the kitchen, went to my room, lay on the bed, and called Petal.
“Hey. You got there alright?” Her sweet voice was like a balm on my tortured soul.
“Yeah.”
“And your mom. How is she?”
I propped myself up against my pillows. “She looks like hell, Petal. Jesus.”
“I’m sorry. I wish I was there to hug you.”
I let out a small laugh. “I do too.” I needed a distraction. I needed something else in my brain besides my mother’s gaunt face. “What are you wearing?”
There was silence for a minute. “My apron. Just my apron.”
I closed my eyes trying to imagine it. Appreciating that it probably wasn’t true but she was trying to make me feel better.
“I bet you look great,” I said.
“There isn’t a lot of support for the girls.”
“I wish I was there to help you with that.” I sighed. “I wish you were here.” God, I wanted to get lost in her.
“What would I be doing?”
“You’d be next to me. Your soft skin next to mine. Making me forget.” I felt a bit like an idiot for admitting that, and yet I was so damn tired, I didn’t have the strength to censor myself. Besides, this was Petal. I trusted her.
“Close your eyes, Cy.”
“They’re closed.”
“Now think of me—”
“I already am.” My dick was too. I was in my boyhood bed with a hard on and seriously thinking of having phone sex with my friend. Not that I’d never jacked off as a teen in this bed, but still, I was a grown ass man.
“My hands are caressing your body. Soothing your tension. My lips are kissing your temple, your jaw—”
I had a flash of guilt as I remembered Lora’s kiss. I wondered if I was supposed to tell Petal about that.
“Can you feel me, Cy?”
I pushed Lora away and focused on Petal’s soothing voice. “Yes.”
“Are you relaxing?”
“Not exactly.” I slid my hand down to my dick. “You’re stroking my cock, Petal.”
She let out a breath. “Do you enjoy it?”
“Yes.” I spread the pearl of precum over my tip. “I wish it was real.”
“I’m with you, Cy. That’s real. And if I were there, I’d be making you feel good.”
“Would you suck my dick?”
“I’d cover in frosting and suck it until you came in my mouth.”
I groaned. “Tell me more.”
20
Petal
I hadn’t expected Cyrus to call tonight. I knew he was flying back to Chicago and would be focused on his mom. I was in bed reading when my phone rang. My first reaction was excitement that he was calling, but then I remembered that I was his friend and he probably needed support. I hadn’t expected the call to go from offering emotional support to phone sex. But if he needed to have his mind taken off his troubles, I could do that.
“Tell me more,” he said.
“I’d lather your entire cock with cool, smooth frosting.”
He let out a shuddering breath. I imagined him stroking his dick and it made me wet.
“Then I’d drag my tongue along the bottom of your cock. I’d moan. Mmmmm…”
“Fuck yeah…it’s so good, Petal.”
“Some frosting would get stuck along the rim and I'd flick my tongue back and forth to get it.”
He groaned, making me feel so sexy and powerful.
“Then I’d take your dick in my mouth. All the way. Can you feel your dick hit the back of my throat?”
“Yes, fuck yes…suck it, Petal. Suck my cock.”
“Mmm…your dick is so good, Cy. It’s so big. Too big for my mouth.” I’d never had phone sex before and I hoped I wasn’t sounding cheesy.
“Your mouth is perfect. So, fucking perfect.” His breath was harsh as it came over the phone. “Are you wet Petal?”
“Yes. Your cock in my mouth always makes me wet. So wet.”
He moaned. “We’re in your bed. You’re laying on me, sucking my cock. Your pussy is at my mouth, and I’m eating it. Drinking your sweet juice.”
This time I moaned. I pushed my covers off and slid my hand under my pajama waistband.
“Are you touching yourself, Petal?”
“Yes.” Not able to get the right feel, I pushed my pajama bottoms down, gasping as the cool air hit my wet pussy.
“Pinch your nipples baby. Pretend I’m sucking them.”
I did as he asked. “I love your mouth on me, Cyrus. It’s hot and wet…ooohhh.”
“Now I’m eating you and you’re sucking my cock. Can you picture it?”
“Yes.” We’d never done what he was describing in the sixty-nine position but I hoped someday we’d try it.
“My tongue is flicking your clit.”
I flicked my finger over my hard nub and groaned.
“Now I’m sucking it, Petal. Fuck…I’m so hard…”
“I’m deep throating you, Cy. My hand is massaging your balls.”
He growled. “Make me come…”
“I’m fucking you with my mouth. My finger is rubbing your skin behind your balls…you know you love that. You love it when I lick you there…”
“Yes more, Petal…more…fuck I’m so close.”
“My mouth is sliding up and down your hard cock. It’s so big, Cy…I can’t hardly take it.”
“Yes…yes…”
“You’re in my mouth, I’m holding you deep in my mouth. I can feel your power, Cy. You’re about to come. I’m going to drink it all.”
“Come with me…fuck…I’m there…” He let out a strangled groan that sounded like he was trying to be quiet.
I slid my fingers inside me and imagined him coming in my mouth. I could see his face when it went from torture to sweet satisfaction. My hips bucked and my pussy spasmed as my orgasm hit.
“Fuck…so much cum…I’ve made a fucking mess,” he said.
“I wish I was there to lick it up for you.”
He groaned. “Jesus, woman, you’re going to make me come again.” He let out a breath. “Did you come?”
“Yes.” I felt myself blush even though I was alone. I’d never touched myself with an audience. Or in this case, someone listening in.
“I wish I was there to see it,” he said. “I’d like to watch you pleasure yourself.”
“I’d like to watch you too.” Just thinking of Cy’s large hands stroking his cock to make himself come made me hot again.
For a
minute the line was quiet, but I could hear him breathing. I hoped he could hear me. It was a strange thing for us that we could be completely together even without talking.
Finally, he said, “I hope I haven’t interrupted your evening.”
I laughed. “I’m glad you did. It was way more fun than what I’d planned.” There was another silence. “Are you okay, Cy?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. I’ll let you get to sleep.”
“You get some rest too.”
When I hung up, I took a quick shower, put my pajamas on, and went to bed. Even after having phone sex, Cyrus showed up in my dreams. Interestingly though, he simply pulled my body against his. His large warm body spooned around mine, and held me close. He held me like he needed me. Like he wouldn’t let me go. In my sleep, I couldn’t stop the wish that our relationship was more. I tried to look at it as a moment of paradise instead of being disappointed when I woke up and knew despite how well we got along, it would never grow into something more. Especially if he ended up moving back to Chicago.
I woke up the next morning missing Cy which was strange. He’d never stayed the night before so it wasn’t like I used to him being there. Maybe it was because he wouldn’t be by tonight after I closed. Or maybe it was my worry that he wouldn’t return from Chicago. His mother needed him and it would make sense that he’d stay with her throughout her treatment and recovery.
Maybe he’d see his ex and now that he was out of the military, they’d reunite. As much as I didn’t like that idea, I wanted him to be happy, and clearly, if they’d been engaged, she’d once made him happy.
I forced myself out of bed and into the shower. Thirty minutes later I was down in the bakery prepping for the day. I wasn’t a muffin baker, but I did usually make a few breakfast oriented cupcakes for the weekend, including a cinnamon with brown sugar crumble, a buttermilk cupcake with maple syrup frosting and a bite of bacon on top, and a vanilla one with marshmallow cereal on top.
Once I opened the shop and served my first customers, I had a moment to call a couple of the prospective assistants to set up interviews. The sooner I hired and trained someone, the sooner I could be more available to help Cyrus. I could even travel with him.
I chastised myself for thinking that. Clearly, I was getting too involved. And at the same time, I wondered if he’d want me there. Last night he’d said he’d wished we were together. I fought against the idea that it meant something more. He needed his friend. That was all.
Later that afternoon, April showed up with Maya.
“Hey Miss Maya. Where have you been?”
“Hi Petal.” She ran over and hugged me.
“I’m out running errands and we thought we’d say hello,” April said.
“Do you need help, Petal?” Maya asked, her hopeful blue eyes looking up at me.
April laughed. “I think she’s tired of errands.”
I put my arm around her. “She can stay while you do your errands.”
“Yay, can I mom?”
“Are you sure, Petal?” April asked.
“Yes, absolutely. I miss having my assistant.” To seal the deal, I told Maya, “Go put your apron on.” I’d had it made for her a few years ago after she started hanging out with me sometimes in the bakery.
Maya ran back into the kitchen.
“Where are Jude and Bertie?”
“Napping probably.” She looked over the cupcakes. “Is that bacon?”
“Yes. It’s a breakfast cupcake.”
“Like a muffin?”
I laughed. “No. It’s a buttermilk cupcake with maple syrup frosting. You know, like a pancake.”
“I’ll take one. I skipped breakfast.”
I got her cupcake and poured her a complimentary cup of coffee in a to-go cup.
“I haven’t forgotten that I want details about you and Cy,” she said as I handed her the cupcake and coffee.
“There’s nothing to tell,” I said. I glanced back to see where Maya was. She was in the kitchen pulling out all sprinkles. “April, I know I can’t tell you not to tell Jude, but Cy is concerned about hurting his friendship with you both.”
She frowned. “Why? I kind of like the idea of you and him.”
“If it goes south…you did say you’d kill him.”
She rolled her eyes, but then thought for a moment. “If he hurt you, it could cause issues. It might be hard to work with him.”
“Right. I don’t want to put him in that situation,” I said.
“But I know and if—”
“We’re not a thing. We’re friends first.” I tried to make my voice stern so she’d understand how important this was.
She gave me a dubious expression. “Is that even possible? Friends with benefits? Or maybe I should ask if it is possible for you? You’re not a woman to keep the emotion out of sex.”
“I care for him, but it’s not serious.” My brain called me a liar. “Besides, it’s possible he’ll be returning to Chicago as you said. So, there’s nothing to tell.”
She let out a breath. “If Jude ever asks, I’m telling him the truth. But I won’t say anything unless he does.”
“Thank you. Cyrus has enough on his plate, he doesn’t need to worry about his friendship with Jude.” I felt some relief that she’d keep my secret.
“I think you’re underestimating Jude’s ability to support his friends. He’s not like August. He wouldn’t get selfish.”
“I know but it’s what Cy wants.”
She narrowed her eyes. “If he didn’t want complications, he shouldn’t have gotten involved. But I know you Petal, even a badass SEAL like him can’t resist you.”
I smirked. “Really, April, you’re making too much of this. In fact, I’m looking at getting into the dating game. I even have a profile online.”
Her eyes widened although I wasn’t sure if she was excited or worried about it. “Really? Have you met anyone yet?”
“No. But I have talked to a few through online messaging. So you see, it’s not a big deal between me and Cy.” I hoped she bought that.
“Petal, can we make confetti cupcakes?” Maya said coming into the main shop.
“Yep.”
“That’s my cue to take off. I’ll be back in two hours, kiddo,” April said.
“’kay mom. Come on Petal. Can we make the cupcake orange color?” Maya asked.
“Orange with sprinkles? Why not?” I laughed and followed her into the kitchen.
Later that night, I lay in bed reading, but not really taking in the content as I kept checking my phone to see if Cyrus would call. As the time ticked later and later without a call from him, disappointment grew. Finally, at midnight, I put my book down and turned out the light.
I closed my eyes, and let myself drift. I don’t know how long I was hovering between wake and sleep when my phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Ah hell…you were sleeping.”
“Cy.” My smile was probably goofy.
“I’m sorry. I’ll let you go.”
“No. I want to hear your voice,” I said, tucking the phone under my ear as I lay on my side.
“I was needing to hear your voice.” He sounded so tired. “Tell me something good, Petal.”
“Maya and I made orange colored cupcakes with sprinkles today.”
“Do orange and sprinkles go together?” he asked.
“We got a sherbet level of orange color so it wasn’t too bad. Are you okay?”
“Tell me something else.”
I got the hint that he didn’t want to talk about him or his situation.
“I’ve made interview appointments to hire help.”
“I didn’t realize you were doing that.”
“I need a social life.” I yawned. “To do that I need to have some time off.”
“I see.” There was something about his voice that sounded off. “I should let you go. I’m sorry I woke you.”
“It’s okay. I’m awake—”
“Good
night Petal.”
The phone went dead. I frowned as I wondered what happened. He seemed to have shut down when I talked about a social life. Was he worried I was trying to get more from him than friends with benefits by making more time for myself? Was that what I was doing? Was my attempt to be available as his friend really a desire to grow the relationship into more?
I set my phone aside. “Petal, you’re going to ruin everything,” I warned myself. Cy had been clear that he couldn’t give me more. Plus, he was going to be gone a lot. If he asked me to wait for him, I would. But he was clear that we were just friends. I had to accept that. It was time for me to check my dating profile and finally take the next step in seeing someone.
21
Cyrus
I was a selfish asshole to call Petal so late on Saturday. I just couldn’t get to sleep without hearing her voice. After the call, I couldn’t sleep because I was pissed off that she was trying to make time for a “social life” aka dating. The idea of another man touching her made me see red. Was she really going to see someone else while she was fucking me?
Except I had no claim to her. Our relationship was friends with benefits, with an emphasis on being friends. I was the one to highlight that factor because I didn’t want to lose her as a friend. Kicking the ass of her dates would probably cause a problem in our friendship.
Fuck!
I woke Sunday morning in a surly mood.
“Are you and Lora fighting again,” my mother asked. She was upright now, sitting in the recliner as I served her some oatmeal for breakfast.
“No. Why?”
“You’re being grumpy. I’ve probably put a damper on your relationship.”
“I’m not in a relationship with Lora,” I snapped.
My mother flinched and I felt like shit.
“I’m sorry, mom.” I held my hands up in surrender and took a breath. “She and I are friends…” So were me and Petal, and yet it felt so different. “I know you want us to be together but that’s not happening.”
“I see. You can’t forgive her?”
I sighed and sat down on the couch. “It’s not that, mom. It’s that my feelings are different. I don’t love her like that anymore. I’m grateful to her for being her for both of us, but I’m not attracted to her.”
Friends to Lovers: A Secret Pregnancy Romance (Heart of Hope Book 6) Page 13