“I guess that is good advice. Though I have to say, that was a nice car as long as it doesn’t come with the salesman that never shuts up.”
“Yeah,” Jay laughed. “Never met a salesman like that before.”
“Ready to go to the store?”
My stomach grumbled, and I closed my eyes. Lord, I hope Jay didn’t hear that. He had taken me to lunch an hour ago, and I was ready to eat again. This baby was making me a bottomless pit.
“Del?” he called.
I opened my eyes and turned my head. “Yup. Never been more ready.” I pasted a smile on face.
He pushed off the car, and I stepped back as he opened my door. “Maybe we can stop at a drive thru on the way. I’m getting kind of hungry. What about you?”
I sat down in the car and shrugged. “I guess I could eat.”
He shut the door with a huge smile on his face.
He had totally heard my stomach growl, but instead of giving me shit about it, he chose to be a gentleman.
A gentleman who was about to buy me a double cheeseburger with a large chocolate shake.
*
Chapter Ten
Jay
“Pretzels and queso are amazeballs.”
I handed her the last pretzel bite and laughed. “You are right about that one, Del.”
She snatched the pretzel bite from me and grabbed the bowl of queso. “What?” she mumbled around a mouthful. “You can’t waste queso, Jay.” She dragged the pretzel bite through the cheese, making sure to get every last drop, then shoved it into her mouth.
I grabbed the bowl and turned to the sink to wash it. “You want some ice cream?” I asked over my shoulder.
“I think the monster inside me is satisfied for the time being. Ask us again in half an hour, though.”
A glance over my shoulder at her and found she was sitting back on the stool with her hands resting on her stomach. “Is that how you two communicate?” I asked. “Maybe I need to have a talk with the kid to tell him to lay off you for a bit.” I had been dying to get my hands on Delaney. Not just to feel the baby, either.
“Trust me, I’ve had many talks with this kid. He already has a mind of his own at two months in the womb.”
I finished washing the dish and grabbed the towel off the bar on the stove to dry it. “Do I get to pick what movie we watch tonight?”
She shook her head. “Nope.”
“Del, you were asleep not even ten minutes into that movie last night. At least let me pick the movie so I have something to watch while you snore.”
“I don’t snore,” she insisted.
Right, and birds didn’t fly. “Whatever you say.”
“Hey, you’re just trying to pacify me,” she accused me.
“No need arguing about something I know I’m right about.”
Her jaw dropped, and she scoffed. “You are not right, sir.”
I grabbed my phone out of my pocket. “You can bet your ass I’m recording it tonight.”
She shoved her chair back and stood. “I’m never going to sleep in front of you ever again. Besides, you can’t record me without my knowledge.”
“Pretty sure I just told you I’m going to record you.”
“Well, that's inadmissible in a court of law because I’m not giving you consent.”
Jay blinked slowly. “Are you a med student or a law student?”
“I’m a med student who watches a lot of Dateline and Law & Order.” And that was that.
“Pretty sure that doesn’t mean you know what you’re talking about, Del.”
She flitted her hand at me. “I don’t snore, and you can’t record me doing it since I don’t do it.”
I held up my hands. I was not going to argue with her about this. “I hear you loud and clear.”
She huffed and rested her hands on her hips. “You can pick what we watch tonight, but it can’t be a race or something like that.”
There went my idea of putting on the Speed channel. “I’m sure we can find something to watch we will both like.”
“You didn’t like the Herbie last night?” She tried to keep a straight face, but a huge smile spread across her lips.
“Del, you gotta know you tortured me last night with that.”
“Oh please,” she laughed. “It had Lindsay Lohan in it. That’s totally eye candy.”
I cringed and shook my head. “Not for me, Del. Especially since she looked about sixteen in that movie.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s not like she was actually sixteen.”
“Doesn’t fucking matter. Chick is not what I’m into.” Far from it.
“And just what is your type?” she demanded.
“Look in the mirror, Delaney.”
*
Delaney
I was on the couch.
Jay was on the couch.
We were on opposites ends of it, but we were both sitting on it.
“Pick something.”
Jay spread his arm along the back of the couch and kicked his feet up on the coffee table. “This is the hell you put me through last night. Just paying you back, Del.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed. “I do not do this.” He kept flipping through the channels, stopping every few channels to watch for a minute, and then he would flip the channel again. I was about to go batty and snatch the remote from him. “You passed six shows we could be watching right now.”
“Same thing I said to myself last night before you settled on that ridiculous car movie.”
“Herbie is a classic, Jay. Since you love cars so much, you should know that.”
He flipped the channel three more times before he settled on the first channel he had stopped on.
“Seriously? We could have been watching this half an hour ago.”
He winked and tossed the remote on the coffee table. “Told you today, you can never settle on your first choice until you go through all of your options.”
“Sounds like a philosophy of yours you apply to everything in life,” I mumbled.
“I think you’re talking about more than cars and TV, Del.”
I huffed and folded my arms over my chest. “Shh,” I muttered. “I want to watch whatever it is you settled on.” I had meant more than cars and TV shows. There came my odd jealousy raging back. He obviously used the same theory when it came to women. Though he had yet to settle on one.
He grabbed the remote, pointed it at the TV, and paused the show. “Time to talk again, Del.”
I looked over at him. “No, it’s not.” I focused on the screen of a woman awkwardly frozen and willed it to play again.
“You trying to change the channel with your mind?” he chuckled.
“Yes. Be quiet so I can try harder.” The TV turned off, and I blinked rapidly. “Hey,” I shouted.
“As soon as we talk, you can go back to trying to change the channel with your mind.”
I grumbled and turned to look at him. “You’re never going to be able to control the TV ever again.”
He shrugged and tucked the remote into the waistband of his pants. “Pretty sure as long as I keep the remote here, you’ll be wrong.”
“That’s hardly playing fair,” I complained.
“Talk, and I’ll let you grab it.”
Pfft. Of course he would let me grab it. It was almost tucked all the way into his pants. I was liable to grab more than the remote. “Talk and you take it out of your own pants.”
“Not sure how that is fun for either of us.”
I rolled my eyes and turned on the couch. I tucked my legs under me and rested my elbows on my knees. “What do we need to talk about?” Might as well just get it over with.
“Explain to me what you meant by I run through all of my options on everything.”
Of course, he would want to press that matter.
“You’ve been with a lot of women, Jay. I don’t go to parties often but I could tell just by the way you acted I wasn’t the first woman you decided to
pick up.” I also knew from the things my mom had said about him, he was far from a saint.
“And yet you decided to let me pick you up.”
“You didn’t pick me up.”
He tilted his head to the side. “Are you being literal right now?”
“Yes,” I muttered. He hadn’t physically picked me up, and it was completely my choice to go to bed with him.
“You seriously confuse the hell out of me sometimes, Del.”
I didn’t know why. I wasn’t thinking or saying anything a normal person wouldn’t. At least, I didn’t think I was. “Then maybe we shouldn’t talk right now. I wouldn’t want to confuse you anymore.” I was determined to get out of talking about this. My jealousy over the fact Jay was with so many women before me was not high on my list of topics to discuss.
“Oh, we’re gonna talk about this, Del. I know it would bug the shit out of me if I knew you were with a bunch of guys before us.”
“There is no us,” I insisted. “For there to be an us, you would first have to remember the time there was an us.”
He tilted his head to the side. “I’m sorry I don’t remember that night, Del. I’ve laid awake more than a week trying to remember. I can’t, though. I would erase every girl before you just to remember that night.”
I flitted my hand toward him. That was one hundred percent the right thing to say, but I couldn’t let him know that. Not now, and not ever. Partly because I was afraid he was just saying what sounded right and didn’t mean any of the words. “Give me the remote out of your pants. We talked.”
“No, no, no. I talked, and you didn’t.”
“I’m not sure what you want to hear from me, Jay. I’m jealous?” I asked. I nodded. “Yup, I totally am. Is there anything I can do about it? No, because I can’t go back in time to undo us or this or anything that’s going on. Though, I don’t want to undo the baby.”
“Neither do I,” he said softly.
I laughed flatly. “I find that hard to believe. I just completely wrecked your world nine days ago, and you say you’re fine with it. I don’t think so. That is one lie I will not believe.”
He shook his head. “Never said it had completely sunk in, Del, but I know I don’t want to change it. I don’t want to go back and have us never meet. The only thing I want to go back and change is maybe drinking a few beers less so I could remember being with you.”
“I wish the same thing too, Jay, because you really don’t know how it feels to tell someone they’re going to be the father of your baby and they look at you like they’ve never seen you before, let alone had sex with them.” It sucked. It sucked more than anything in the world. I closed my eyes and tried not to feel my soul crush a little bit more. I had given this man my virginity and was going to have his baby, and he didn’t remember one single second of it.
I did well hiding my feelings, but when put up against them face to face, I couldn’t deny I was hurt. Even though Jay didn’t mean to forget it, I still hurt.
I felt him shift on the couch and then I was in his arms. “God dammit, Delaney. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m not trying to hurt you,” he said lowly. “Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do.”
Being in his arms was nice. I knew this from before. I didn’t fight him. I didn’t try to act like I didn’t want him to touch me.
I had been wanting this since the first time we had sex. Before I found out I was pregnant, I had talked myself out of finding Jay because he wasn’t trying to find me either.
Jay lifted me in his arms and laid back on the couch with my body covering him.
“Don’t cry over me, Delaney. I’m not worth one of your tears.”
And that was where he was wrong. If he wasn’t worth them, then why was I crying them?
You only cry about things that really matter to you.
That was what my mom had always said.
If you cry, you care.
And dammit it all to hell if I didn’t care about this man who didn’t even remember me.
*
Jay
She slept.
Finally
She had cried in my arms for a solid twenty minutes before she finally relaxed. I had grabbed the remote to turn back on the TV and settled her back in my arms.
This wasn’t sexual.
I wasn’t trying to get to second base.
I was consoling a woman I had hurt, and I was silently dying inside with each tear that dropped.
For years, I had dated around, going from one girl to the next, looking for something. I didn’t know what it was I was looking for until Delaney had relaxed into my arms.
I was searching for trust.
For something that was mine.
I was searching for Delaney.
*
Chapter Eleven
Delaney
He was gone when I woke up.
The alarm on my phone sounded at half past eight, and there was no trace of Jay.
All I had was a blanket draped over me and the dam spring in the couch poking my side.
I was an idiot last night. I should have told Jay I didn’t care about his past or the fact he didn’t remember me. But me being me meant I had to be straightforward and tell him just exactly I was thinking and feeling.
And now, he was gone.
“Bang up job, Delaney,” I muttered out loud.
My stomach growled, and I sighed.
Of course, I was hungry even though I had quite possibly ruined any kind of relationship I was forming with Jay.
It was the perfect time to eat.
I dragged my butt off of the couch and shuffled into the kitchen.
Sitting in front of the coffeepot I hadn’t used in months was the box of decaf coffee pods Jay and I had picked up yesterday while we were bumming around. There was also a note lying next to them.
Just give them a shot, Del.
-J
Short and sweet, but it gave me a little bit of hope that Jay hadn’t run for the hills.
I popped one of the pods into the coffeemaker and waited while it gurgled to life and spit out the decaf drink that was hopefully going to somehow jump-start my mornings better than the tea was doing.
So Jay wasn’t here this morning.
It didn’t mean anything.
It wasn’t like he lived here or anything.
I inhaled the heavenly scent of the coffee and sighed.
Maybe Jay would be right about this whole decaf thing. It smelt like my mornings used to, and if I tricked my mind into thinking it was real coffee, this would be awesome.
My phone dinged in the living room, and I wandered over to get it while the coffee brewed.
At work. It’s looking like I’ll be here all day. Need to do some testing on the car.
I had completely forgotten he needed to go into work today. Though he wasn’t going to be able to get off early like he had hoped. No problem. Be careful at work.
Can I come over after work? If it’s too late I won’t.
I bit my lip. It didn’t matter if it was late, early, or right now. Jay could come over whenever he wanted. Whenever is good.
I didn’t have to wait even a minute before his reply came through. Then I’ll see you later, Del. Think of me. <3
Think of him? That wasn't hard to do at all. I decided not to reply and left the phone sitting on the coffee table.
While things were a little clearer, they were more confusing in other areas.
Jay and I were in the middle of a delicate and complicated relationship, and I wasn’t sure what way it was going to go.
Either way, we were going to have a baby together, and we needed to figure out what we were doing.
*
Chapter Twelve
Jay
“We’re hitting Hilltop after work. You coming?”
I dropped a wrench in my toolbox and closed the top. “Nah.”
“Nah?” Remy laughed. “Did you really just say nah to going out?”
“Leave him alone,” Harlyn chastised Remy. “Maybe he has other plans.”
I pointed my finger at Harlyn. “I knew you were a good one when we found you on the side of the road.”
Harlyn rolled her eyes. “Pretty sure you were passed out in the back of Remy’s car when my car broke down.”
A huge smile spread across Remy’s lips. “You so were. Seems you pass out during important moments in life.”
“Yeah, because you meeting Harlyn was an important moment in my life.”
Remy slung his arm over Harlyn’s shoulder. “Was in mine.” He pressed a kiss to the side of her head and pulled her close.
She patted him on the chest and laughed. “Just why are you laying it on so thick right now?” she asked.
Remy held his hand over her hand and scoffed. “I’m offended that you think I’m being nice just to get something.”
She rolled her eyes. “Spit it out, Remy.”
“Fine,” he mumbled. “Mom wants to come out for the Fourth of July.”
“I’m not sure why that is a problem?”
“I might have told her we were having a Fourth of July party.”
“Remy,” she scolded. “We don’t have plans like that at all.”
“I know, I know. But she kept asking what we were doing, and I just sort of blurted out we were having a party.”
I shook my head and closed all the drawers on my toolbox. “Lord have mercy. Meg coming to town for a party. I can only imagine the trouble she’s going to get into.”
“Lo is coming with her. Along with Cyn and Rigid,” he reassured us.
“You should have stopped with Lo coming with. You know how she is when she has Cyn with her.” Harlyn folded her arms over her chest. “Even with Rigid there to help Lo, you know they can’t handle those two together.”
Remy’s mom and her friend were some of the coolest people I had ever met, but if there was trouble to be had when they were around, you better believe they were there getting into it. “Good luck with that, bro.”
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