by RJ Scott
They sat in silence for a while, and then Rowan began chatting about family and dogs, and every so often Gideon would ask questions. Only halfway through a story involving Deon and Dog and an unfortunate roast chicken that had met a canine end, he went quiet.
“Are you okay?” Gideon imagined he’d messed up by not getting more involved in the conversation, but there was something about Rowan’s voice, and he was mesmerized. I should have said more, kept up my end of the conversation.
“So I have an admission,” Rowan began.
Gideon’s chest tightened. This didn’t sound good. In the scale of one to complete shit, this sounded like an admission that he was already dating or married or—
“I’m going to have to rename Deon,” he said and inched away from Gideon to meet his gaze head on.
“Why?” Gideon wasn’t sure why he asked because Rowan was so damn serious.
“You want to know why I called her Deon?”
“Because you have a thing for Canadian divas who sing the theme tunes to sinking boat movies?” Gideon went for a joke, but Rowan pulled his scarf away from his lips and shook his head.
“When he ended up at the house, it was Dog who was the life and soul of the party. I mean, it was Dog who got the chicken from the counter. It’s Dog who led the great Easter charge against the chocolate eggs and ended up needing a veterinarian. Deon was always quiet, kind of grumpy, serious, untouchable, as if he didn’t want to be part of our world.”
“Sounds…interesting.”
“Don’t hate me,” Rowan began and held up gloved hands.
“That’s not the sentence I was expecting to hear on only our second date,” Gideon joked.
“I named him after you, Gideon. Deon mostly because he was grumpy.”
“Oh.” Gideon wanted to feel hurt, but how could he when Rowan was looking so miserable.
“You have to know because the family knows, and they’ll tell you one day, and you’ll be pissed at me, and you know what?” He leaned toward Gideon.
“What?” How could this story get any better? Or worse?
“You’re not grumpy, you’ve never really been because a few days after I started working for you, I had a handle on you, and you’re just cautious.” He sat back in triumph.
“Not grumpy, just cautious,” Gideon repeated the facts as he saw them and stared right at Rowan. He held his gaze, wanting desperately to tease a smile, but he couldn’t stop the snort of laughter.
“No wonder Deon loves me. He has my awesome name.”
“You’re not pissed?”
“Why would I be pissed?” He held out an arm and Rowan slid close and into a hug. “I love you. You’re an idiot, and Deon adores me.”
Rowan said something into Gideon’s coat that didn’t make sense and then eased himself away. “You love me?”
Well shit. He hadn’t meant it to slip out quite like that. Not in a frozen park with them both wrapped up in so many layers they were buried worse than hibernating animals. He’d imagined saying the words over dinner or maybe in bed or—
Rowan pounced on him as much as he could in his huge coat and yanked at Gideon’s scarf until he could find his lips to kiss him soundly. Then he sat back with a satisfied grin on his face.
“Well, hell,” he began with a broad smile that reached his brown eyes. “Gids, I love you too.”
Gideon found waking up next to Rowan was an interesting experience. He had this way of sprawling out and taking up the entire bed, and Gideon couldn’t love it more. They’d said the words over and over when they made love, when they had snacks at midnight, and just before they fell asleep in each other’s arms, with Kimi curled up on the pillow by their heads.
The fact that Kimi bopped Rowan’s nose before he snuggled down just added extra points in the Rowan-is-great list.
But waking up today, there was a weight on Gideon’s chest, and he couldn’t shake it at all, knowing why it was there but not sure how to fix things.
“Can I show you something?” he asked post shower sex and when they were both dressed and sipping hot coffee.
“Didn’t you already do that?” Rowan deadpanned, and Gideon shook his head.
“Something other than my dick.”
Rowan pouted. “That’s disappointing.”
“It’s not going to be easy to show you, but I need to, for me, and for you.”
“Okay, sure.” Rowan didn’t look worried, but he hugged Gideon as if he sensed that Gideon needed it.
The drive to the cemetery wasn’t a long one, with light traffic it was under two hours to get out of New York City and head up the coast to Milford. To his credit, Rowan didn’t once ask where they were going, instead he kept up a steady list of stories about his family and alternated those with finding music that wasn’t an insult to his ears. At least that’s what he called Gideon’s container of CDs before syncing his phone and using Spotify. He had eclectic tastes in music from Aretha Franklin to AC/DC, but that was Rowan.
When they reached the cemetery gates and pulled off the road, Rowan turned off all the music and was instantly respectful. They exchanged glances with Rowan nodding his head once. Gideon didn’t have to recall where to walk to find Luke, he came here every year after Christmas, and sometimes in between if he wanted to center his life for some reason. Rowan didn’t immediately reach for Gideon’s hand, but Gideon sought his hold, and with gloves off, they laced their fingers and headed across the icy grass.
“Twenty years,” Gideon whispered as they passed markers for people who’d died recently. “The passage of time is marked by the number of graves I pass to get to him.” Rowan was quiet, but that was okay because it was Gideon’s turn to talk. They reached the gravestone. “Luke Waites, taken too soon, cherished son, brother, and friend.” Reading the words, as he always did, he waited for the crushing weight of grief and loneliness, but for some reason, this time it wasn’t there.
“Hi, Luke, I’m Rowan.” Rowan didn’t say anything else, just simply stood quietly, gripping Gideon’s hand.
“Luke, I met someone. This is Rowan, I’ve told you about him before. I finally pulled the stick out of my ass and told him how I felt. I love him.”
“And I love him too,” Rowan added after a short pause.
Gideon pressed a kiss to the tip of Rowan’s nose. Rowan tipped his chin, and they shared the briefest, most gentle kiss.
And in the frozen graveyard, the whisper of snow swirling around them felt like a message, as if Luke was okay with Gideon and Rowan.
And Gideon knew that the rest of his life was just beginning, with Rowan at his side.
Epilogue
The sound of fireworks echoed from outside. Gideon turned his head, checked on Kimi, who was curled up on a footstool, unperturbed by the New Year celebrations.
“Curled up same as Rowan.” He gently stroked back Rowan’s hair, smiled at the small trembles of Rowan’s lips as he breathed against Gideon’s chest. “I thought we were supposed to see the New Year in together.” He pressed his cheek to the top of Rowan’s head. Part of him wanted to tease him, mess with him and stir him awake, and yet, he didn’t.
It had been a year and a few days since they had entered into a relationship no longer merely that of a boss and his PA, and Gideon’s only regret was that they hadn’t done so sooner. He closed his eyes, hugged Rowan to him, appreciating the closeness of a warm body, but not just anyone’s…Rowan’s. This had become one of his favorite things, even more so in the last four months.
Being able to go to bed and then wake each morning with Rowan beside him still amazed Gideon.
We’re together. Every. Single. Day.
After months of Gideon asking, Rowan had finally agreed to move in with him.
You see me every day at the office. You really want to live together as well? Rowan had said each time and had given Gideon a look, a look that said Rowan knew Gideon had, up to that point, enjoyed his own space and questioned whether he was really ready for someone t
o insert themselves into his home. Their belongings mixing with his and bringing with them routines and habits that might clash with his own.
“I’m glad I didn’t give up.” He leaned forward and kissed Rowan’s forehead. Wake up. I’ve something important to ask you.
They had spent Christmas with Rowan’s family again this year. Gideon thought he’d seen everything there was about the chaotic family but apparently, he was wrong. This time he was officially considered to be part of the family which meant more mom-hugs, more dog fussing, awkward sibling conversations, and children deciding Uncle Gideon was now fair game to include in their play.
Thank God I learned my lesson from last year and left the suits at home.
Over the few days visit, he’d been faced with muddy paws, chocolate-covered small hands, and spilled paint, and he’d loved every minute. He smiled to himself and stared at the muted television at a band he didn’t recognize singing in the New Year.
A year, huh? Should I take Rowan to visit my parents?
Last January he’d contacted his parents alone. A brisk phone call to his dad and a short visit to his mom’s, wishing them good health for another year. His mom, as he’d expected, talked non-stop about the new baby. The new grandchild in her “new” family, although it wasn’t exactly new as she’d been with her current husband, Mark, for eleven years. It just wasn’t family Gideon was part of, nor was invited to be part of. He wondered how she would react if he brought Rowan with him. Would she put on her fake loving mother warmth ?
Do I care? Seemed Rowan came with as much family as a person could handle. Beautiful and warm, full of laughter and smiles.
Rowan alone would be enough for Gideon to call family, and he wanted to show him that. Gideon pressed his hand to his pants’ pocket to the spot where he was carrying a ring.
How long have I been holding onto this?
He’d been looking for an opportunity to propose to Rowan for days, weeks. At first, he was going to do it before they went away for Christmas, just the two of them. Then he decided he wanted to do the whole asking the parents’ permission thing and to do so in person. Gill had cried. Jodie had slapped him on the back, and all three of them were nearly caught when Deon lured Rowan into the kitchen having whined for treats.
The more Gideon thought about proposing, the more nervous he had gotten. He’d kind of chickened out of doing it while surrounded by Rowan’s family. And even now he was embarrassed at the thought of going down on one knee in front of a crowd. It had taken him months to get Rowan to agree to live with him, would getting him to say yes to marriage be the same?
I’ll ask him every day if I have to. He clutched the ring. Assuming he had the courage to ask a first time.
Rowan’s cell phone hummed on the arm of the couch, and Gideon was surprised when Rowan gave a heavy sigh.
“You were awake?”
“No.” He sat up and reached for his phone. “Well, maybe a thought bubble or two ago. You think too loud.”
“You’re still doing that?”
Only to me.
The bubbles seemed to be a habit Rowan had developed to tease him and him alone.
Something just between us, even back then.
“Yep.” Rowan flashed his teeth as he grinned and looked at his cell.
Gideon sighed. Bubbles weren’t the only thing between them now. There was so much about them, between them only the other got to see.
Rowan quirked his eyebrow. “Oh, it’s Jared.” He raised a hand to stop Gideon from speaking as he answered the call.
“Hello? Yep, I can talk.”
“Jared? Everything okay?” Gideon said in a low voice. If he remembered correctly, Jared was meant to be with a client that evening.
“Happy New Year to you too. So, what’s up?” Rowan slid away from Gideon and got to his feet. “You’re where?” He lowered the phone and told Gideon, “I’m going to take this in the bedroom.”
Gideon nodded, turning his head when Kimi jumped up onto the arm of the couch. “And you’re awake too, huh?” He picked her up and put her on his lap, stroking the length of her back. “What do you think? Should I ask him tonight?”
Kimi purred loudly, pawing his lap before settling across his thighs.
“That a yes?” He chuckled.
“Yes, what?” Rowan suddenly appeared.
“That was quick.”
Rowan dropped back down on the couch with a huff. “I love Jared but seriously sometimes I wish he’d stop being so nice.”
“There a problem?”
Through his time with them, Jared had become a popular boyfriend at the company, particularly in the last two years. He was good natured, diligent, charming, a little too laid-back at times, but that made him easy to work with and able to fit into whatever situation the client desired.
Rowan winced. “Not really a problem. However, I do need to call him back in fifteen minutes.”
“Okay. Why?”
“Exit plan. Pretend family emergency.”
“And why do you need to do this?”
“I’m not a hundred percent sure, but I think he said he ended up agreeing to an offer of a foursome.”
“Four? How?”
“He wasn’t on the call long enough to explain.”
Gideon blinked and stared at the moving picture on the television as he tried to imagine how someone even found themselves in the position to be offered something like that. “Foursome,” he uttered.
“Have you ever done anything like that? A threesome or anything?” Rowan flipped his cell over in his hands.
“No. The opportunity never really came up.”
Rowan chuckled. “Same.” He pointed to himself. “Besides, I’m more than enough for any man to handle all by my lonesome.” He sat back and Gideon leaned over, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“You are.” Gideon blew a breath. “Which reminds me, there’s something I want to ask you.”
“Ask me?”
“Yes.” It felt as if it were a now or never kind of moment for his proposal. He had to stop putting it off. Rowan was the man for him. The one he wanted his forever with.
Rowan smiled and gently lifted Kimi from Gideon’s lap. She meowed when he placed her on the floor, then padded off toward the kitchen. “I kind of have something I want to ask you too. Ever since Christmas.”
Gideon swallowed. “Really?”
“Mmm.” Rowan shuffled closer and took hold of Gideon’s hand. “But you should go first.”
Something to ask me? Rowan looked serious. “No, it’s fine. Ask what you want to ask.” Gideon rested his other hand over Rowan’s.
“Okay.” Rowan pouted his lips. “Then, how about we go at the same time?” He bounced a little on the cushion as he closed the gap and straightened his back.
“Together?”
“Yeah.” Rowan smiled brightly. “I’ll count to three and then after three, we both say what we were going to.”
Gideon nodded. This was fine.
“Okay, so…” Rowan looked him in the eye. “One. Two. Three.”
Gideon closed his eyes and blurted out, “Let’s get married.”
“Let’s get a dog,” Rowan said at the same time.
Gideon opened his eyes. “Dog?”
Rowan didn’t say anything. His eyes were wide as he stared through Gideon.
“Rowan?”
Color flushed Rowan’s cheeks.
“Hey. You all right?” Gideon waved his hand in front of Rowan’s face.
“You…you want to…” Rowan bit his lip. “Marry. You said marry, right?”
Gideon sucked on his teeth. “Erm, no. I said…let’s…” I can’t think of anything. “So, a dog? You want a dog?”
“Yes. If I could I’d bring Deon home, but it wouldn’t be fair to split the pack now. Plus, Momo was on about someone they knew just had puppies that they’d need homes for, and I thought—” He hit Gideon on the chest. “Forget the dog. You totally said you wanted to get married
.”
“I did?”
“You did!” Rowan got to his knees, straddled Gideon’s thighs, and pinched his nipple beneath his shirt.
“All right. Okay. I did. I did.” He grabbed Rowan’s hand, with his other he reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring. “I’ve wanted to ask you for a while. Never felt the moment was quite right. I wanted it to be perfect, but in the end, it turned out like this—”
Rowan covered Gideon’s mouth. “It is perfect. You said it once about my family. Perfectly chaotic, right? So, to me, this is…” He smiled, cupped Gideon’s jaw with his free hand, then leaned in and kissed him. “The absolute best proposal I could have ever gotten.” He kissed him some more, a slow, firm kiss that Gideon wanted to melt into and stay that way, connected for eternity.
“I love you,” Gideon said, raising Rowan’s hand and slipping the ring on his finger, relieved that it pushed down over Rowan’s knuckle. It fit. “Marry me?” he said and rested his hands on Rowan’s waist.
Rowan held up his hand, staring at the ring. Light bounced off the platinum band, a small leaf pattern etched around it. “You’re sure?” he asked. “Like, properly sure?”
Gideon gripped Rowan tightly, raised his hips so his crotch pushed back against Rowan’s ass. “I am. Never been surer.”
Rowan grinned. “So I see.” He lowered his hand between them and rubbed Gideon’s hard dick through his clothes as he squirmed on top of him.
I want him. All of him. Always.
“Okay,” Rowan said as he stilled. He pulled back his hand, declaring, “I need to tell my moms.”
“Seriously.” Gideon leaned back as Rowan jumped up. “And wait, shouldn’t you be saying something to me first?”
“Like what?”