There’s a persistence in her voice that tells me she’s not going to walk away. I regulate my breathing and let her in.
“Oh, no. What’s wrong with you, babe?”
Lola cradles my face in her hands, then closes the door behind her. It’s impossible to get a word past the lump in my throat.
“Hey, calm down. What happened? Did he hurt you?” she questions aggressively.
“No,” I choke out, still trying to control my nerves.
“Shh, it’s okay. Just breathe.”
“I just –” another heave cuts off my sentence.
Lola wraps herself around me as I continue to take deep breaths. After giving me a moment, she pulls away and looks into my eyes.
“Better?”
“Yeah, sorry. That was just too much for me.” I rewash my face, then lock eyes with my reflection in search of familiarity. I’m nowhere to be found.
Lola puts her arm around my torso and hugs me. Her intimacy is terrifying. A charge of energy flows between us when I turn around. Heat radiates from the core of Lola’s body. Wet lips and an open mouth meet mine as our tongues collide. We gravitate closer towards each other. The world spirals as I pull away just in time to stop myself from going any deeper. My vision readjusts to see her lips puckered and eyes still closed. She slowly opens them and smiles at me.
“We should get back out there,” I whisper.
“Yes, we should.” Lola fixes her skirt.
I step out into the hallway, still emotional but feeling higher than any drug could ever take me.
DOUBLE DATE
The first person that comes to mind for tonight’s festivities is my best friend, of course. Sammy’s entertaining as hell, the only one I can trust to bring along on this covert operation, and she’ll help me figure out whether to pursue Cheri or Lola. We haven’t spoken since that crazy night at Krash, though. Hopefully, she doesn’t already have plans.
Sammy picks up after a few rings.
“Finally! I’ve been calling you for weeks now. Where have you been?”
“What are you even saying? No, you haven’t.”
“I’ve been calling your house mad times a day. I was worried about you.” her tone changes to genuine concern.
“Dude, I lost my phone that night. What the hell happened to us?”
“Yo, we were so far gone. Do you remember anything at all?”
Sammy’s question has a hint of something more – like there’s a secret she’s about to share.
“Nothing after those tequila shots.”
“I told you to lay off that shit. I was chillin’ with my Bacardi and orange juice, like a true Puerto Rican.” she declares. “So, tell me this. Do you remember what happened with the twins?”
“What twins? Natalia and Valentina? Oh shit, tell me what happened!”
The twins are these Dominican sisters that we’ve been obsessing over for months now. A faint image of them walking into the club flashes back into my memory.
“Yes, those twins. Yo, we had sex with them in the same room!”
“You’re lying.” I challenge.
“I swear to God I’m not. We were like porn stars up in there just giving it to them.” Sammy is boasting in full-on character mode, giving all the juicy details I didn’t know I needed.
“Valentina was screaming your name like a beast, and I still have scratches and bite marks from Natalia. I can’t believe you don’t remember that.”
“Do you know how bad I’ve wanted to get with Valentina? To finally hook up and not even remember. Damn you, José Cuervo.”
“Sucks to be you. I remember everything,” she teases. “Anyway, they want to see us. What time can you be ready?”
“Nah, that’s why I’m calling you. We already have plans tonight with these two sexy girls from my job. Tell them we’ll link up another day.”
It’s no contest on who we should hang out with. The twins are boring compared to Cheri and Lola.
“What? Who?” Her excitement turns to sheer giddiness. “You’re the bestest friend a little lesbian could have.”
Suddenly, a call comes in on the other line. It’s an unknown number. I think it’s Lola.
“Hold on, don’t hang up.”
I try to sound nonchalant when I click over, “Hey, what’s up?”
“Wow, you sound different on the phone. Ever thought about doing phone sex with that voice?” Lola flirts on the other end of the line.
“Oh, yeah? Tell me what you’re wearing?” I take the opportunity and run with it.
“I don’t mean right now, silly.” Lola giggles.
She’s calling for my address. I keep the call brief, then click back to Sammy.
“I thought you forgot about me,” she says.
“Sorry, that was one of the girls. Be at my place by 10 p.m. We can pre-game, and I’ll catch you up on all the wild shit I’ve been doing. Oh, and dress extra fly tonight.”
I have enough time for a quick nap before I start getting ready. By the time Sammy rings the bell, I’ve set up a small nook in the backyard for us to chill. There are little snow patches that came down a few days ago, but there’s a fall crisp in the air that’s warm enough to smoke inconspicuously without getting caught.
Sammy hugs me like she hasn’t seen me in years.
“You don’t know how glad I am to see that you’re okay,” she says, still hugging me. “I’m guessing you also don’t remember telling Valentina you were going to use the bathroom and never coming back?”
“Seriously?”
Sammy recounts more details from that night, piecing it together for me. Apparently, I stumbled by their father and thanked him for having such beautiful daughters. Whatever else I said to him must’ve been somewhat coherent because he’s been asking Valentina about me since.
“Wow, I don’t remember any of that,” I admit.
“I only have memories of my mother yelling at me.”
“Yeah, I heard it from her, too. She cursed me out when I called the next day.”
All of my friends have gotten a mouthful from her at least a few times. My mother tells everyone off at some point. It’s not because she thinks I’m this perfect kid, and they influence me to do wrong. Mami knows the truth; I’m trouble, and my friends are my accomplices.
“I’ve never been that blacked out before.” I contemplate.
“Well, you’re safe. That’s all that matters.”
“True that.”
We clink our drinks in celebration, then details of our latest adventures are laid out on the table for each other. The first thing on the list of tells is my latest line of work, which leads to the new ladies in my life.
“I’m here thinking you’re behaving yourself, and you’re out there being the king of kink.” she jokes. “So, what is this place?”
“It’s roleplay and fantasy.”
I wait for a reaction while Sammy stares at me blankly.
“What the hell does that mean? Are you playing some Dungeons & Dragons shit now?”
“It’s this whole other world, where we fulfill people’s deep, dark fantasies.”
“Fulfill fantasies? Like what?”
“Lower your voice.”
It’s no secret that the wind carries whispers spoken in confidence. My mother, Yolanda De La Vega Romero, is the biggest bruja of them all. She somehow discovers things unseen with no idea of how the knowledge comes to her.
“They come in to get whipped, stepped on, watch us do things, and get spit on… all types of crazy shit.”
“You’re nuts. Only you would do something like this, I swear. Do you have sex with them?”
“Damn, you think I would be taking it that far? We’re doing crazy things, but not alla that.”
Sammy’s at a loss for words. I can see her gears goin
g as she processes the gossip. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her anything. Is she going to think I’m having sex for money now?
“Okay, who are these two girls we’re meeting up with?” she jumps off-topic.
“Oh, yeah... Lola and Cheri.”
“Are those their stripper names?”
“Kind of.” I laugh.
Had I known their real names, we’d be having a different conversation. Every detail I’ve observed gets shared with Sammy like we’re kids at the playground.
“Here’s the thing. I like them both, but I like Lola more.”
“What the hell? I thought this was a double date,” Sammy complains.
“It is. I’m just confused about who I’m supposed to be on a date with. I think it’s Cheri.”
“So, I’m a fourth wheel to your threesome.”
“How about this? Let’s just go with the flow and see who vibes with who. If you see Lola getting friendly with me, then entertain Cheri. And vice-versa, I think. Just pay attention to how Lola is acting.”
“You’re lucky I love you. I can only agree to this because I know you have good taste in women, and it’ll be worth it.”
Sammy pulls up the collar of her shirt, feeling good about the game plan.
My phone vibrates.
“They’re about to pull up.”
Sammy watches as I take out the yellow baggie that Becca hooked me up with.
“Want some?”
“Who are you? And what did you do to my best friend?” she teases.
“This is the newest version of the old me. No more heartbreak for this kid,” I declare, thinking of my breakup with Camila.
On our way out, I call down to Papi, who is working on a project in the basement. His artwork is all over our home, from wood carvings, garden pieces, and painted arches with Roman columns in our living room. Papi, Kelvin Romero, Sr., is the South Bronx Picasso.
“Daddy, I’m heading out. Love you.”
“Okay, muñeca. I love you. Be careful.” he shouts back up.
Lola steps out of the passenger side of a black four door. Sammy reaches out her hand with the charm set on high.
“You’re even more beautiful than Solei said. This is going to be an interesting night.”
“Sammy, this is Lola.” I shake my head slightly, enough for her to be the only one that catches it.
“Lola is only for TLC. In the real world, I go by Adelina.” she winks at me, then turns back to Sammy. “You better be a fun date. Come on, I’m sitting in the back with you.”
Sammy shrugs and gives me a confused look, then motions for Lola to go in before her.
Adelina.
I repeat her name in my mind. That’s a name that could roll off my tongue in the middle of the night. No more calling her Lola.
Cheri is in the driver’s seat, beaming her wide, infectious smile.
“Sammy, this is Jesenia.” Adelina follows up.
Hearing their real names makes me feel like we’re meeting for the first time.
“Where to first?” I ask.
Jesenia turns to me with a raised eyebrow.
“You’re not in charge tonight, sugar tits. I am.”
The conversations flow so effortlessly that it’s like we’ve known each other for years by the time we get to the city. Our first stop is dinner at a speakeasy in the Flatiron District called C’est La Nuit. There are candlelit settings for ambiance and a DJ spinning electronic dance music. The crowd is full of smug Europeans speaking too loudly. Aware of my surroundings, I lengthen my spine and chuck my chin up a little higher. Spaces like this always make me feel like an outsider, but the extra effort it takes to feel like I belong is worth it.
Jesenia puts her hand on my leg and sits closer for more privacy. She tells me of a dream, one where I made an appearance. Her voice drops to a whisper for the steamiest parts. I listen intently to details of bodies intertwined, legs coiled rapturously, and how we reached a climax in the same breath.
“The best dream I’ve had in a while,” she bites her lower lip.
This imagery leaves me bewitched with a warm tingle in my chest that flows down between my legs. The waiter refills our drinks, infiltrating the invisible curtain around us.
“Are you okay over there? It looks like you’re about to have each other for dinner.” Adelina says with a tinge of jealousy in her voice.
I take a deep breath and gather myself. The night’s magic has officially seized effect, bringing with it lowered defenses to Jesenia’s magnetism and Adelina’s deep gaze. There’s a disappointment in her that I can’t bear. It forces me to turn my attention to the tapas that have been served, as the surge of desire for Jesenia abruptly evaporates.
Sammy changes the mood with a joke. Seeing it as a window of opportunity, I excuse myself to the bathroom. She follows.
“Dude, you’re on your own here. I’m just the chaperone at this point,” she complains. “I should’ve kept my plans with Natalia. Adelina asked me all these questions about you while you were over there, having your lust fest.”
“Yo, Jesenia was telling me about the wildest dream. She had me stuck on stupid.”
“I saw. You just looked horny to me.” Sammy cracks.
“Horny?” I suck my teeth. “I’m not horny.”
“Call it what you want. It’s still that. Adelina was all up in it, trying so hard to read lips.”
“I don’t understand. She’s the one pushing me to get to know Jesenia.”
“She’s testing you. Hello, this is what girls do. Adelina wants you to decide you like her enough to stop flirting with her friend. Duh.”
Sammy’s ability to decipher this for me is why she’s my confidant. We return to find the girls red from laughing so hard. It takes some time for them to recover their breathing.
“What’s so funny? I wanna to laugh, too.” Sammy probes.
Adelina shakes her head.
“Nothing you would understand. It’s girl talk.”
“Hey, I’m still a girl under these clothes. Thank you very much,” she responds.
“Girly girl talk. You don’t count. You’re like a boy-girl.” Adelina points to her stilettos. “See these heels? You would need a pair to get the joke. Got it? Good.”
Her rude response throws Sammy off.
“Whatever,” I interject. “We don’t want to be girly anyway. See these shoes?” I point down to my hella comfortable Vans. “They never hurt. We can go all night.”
“That’s hot. The way you’re defending your friend like that,” she gets up and grabs her purse. “Let’s get out of here. We already paid the bill.”
Sammy and I have never been on dates where we weren’t expected to cover the check. In the lesbian community, if you are the less feminine one, there’s an unspoken rule that you pay.
When we get to Exit, the line is halfway around the block. Sammy objects to wait that long to get into the club.
“Do we look like we wait on lines?” Adelina walks ahead of everyone waiting, and gives each of the bouncers a kiss on the cheek.
“Looks like it’s going to get crazy tonight,” she says to one of them.
“It will be, but no one is looking as good as you, baby.”
The muscle head on the right leans in to kiss her on the mouth, but Adelina turns her head just in time.
“Bruno, how many times do I have to tell you I’m not interested in you like that. You’re like a brother to me.”
“I’m sorry. The thing is, I’m not your brother, and you’re a baddie.”
His associate – a chunky black dude – puts in his bid.
“Well, I’m not your brother. How about you let me tap that.”
“Ew, shut up. Don’t talk to me like that in front of my girlfriend.” Adelina reaches out her hand for me to grab it.
<
br /> I play along.
“You’re a carpet-muncher? No fucking way.”
“Hey man, don’t talk to her like that.” Bruno gets serious. “What’s up, girlfriend?”
I strain to make my grip stronger when we shake hands.
“If my little sis likes you, then you’re good in my book. Welcome to Exit.” Bruno unhooks the velvet rope and ushers us in.
The music pulsates off the walls and floor beneath us. My first objective is to go to the bathroom. Hitting the stalls is the perfect reset button when you walk into a high-energy spot like this.
Jesenia tails me.
“I want to ask you something,” she blocks me right before I go in. “Do you like Adelina or me? Be honest.”
I know that this answer will change everything. No longer will it be a “cake and eat it, too” game.
“I like you both… but I know that’s not right, so I won’t pursue either of you.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Jesenia responds. “I know she likes you. And I think you would make a cute couple.”
“We would too, though.” I flirt.
“The one girl that I like, and she likes you, too! Ain’t that some shit.” she continues. “No, but seriously, I love that bitch. You should go for it.”
Jesenia’s co-sign brings with it an unburdening. I was playing with fire, and she just extinguished it for me. I’ve learned that when you can’t make a decision, the world makes it for you, and you’re lucky if you come out with anything at the end.
“I’ll just have to find another lesbian to eat me out, I mean, turn me out.” Jesenia jokes while letting me into the bathroom.
They’re all waiting at the bar with drinks when I return.
“Cheers!” we roar.
The hours drift while dancing our asses off. The more alcohol we consume, the more affection I get from Adelina.
“You better not hurt my best friend, or I’ll cut your tits off.” Jesenia threatens in complete inebriation.
Little do I know, my breasts are in more danger than I could ever imagine.
MONDAY BLUES
Mami isn’t too happy when I ask to borrow twenty dollars to get to work on Monday morning. A weekend of nonstop partying and shopping has left me completely broke. She gives me ten instead. The lunch shift at Giggles is a drag. By the time I get to TLC, I’m ready for a nap.
Identity Interrupted Page 5