When my body breaks the surface of the water and I re-emerge, laughing with the cold of the ocean, I see her on the beach, clothes still on.
"Come on, darlin’," I call out to her, and it seems to be the incentive she needs.
She takes off her dress and I make myself look away. Not because I'm a gentleman, but because I'm sure if I see her naked right now, I won't be able to resist her any longer. It's been hard enough fighting my feelings for this whole week.
She shrieks as she wades into the water, and I swim with the current to reach her shivering body. Now I can't help it, even though I know what I'm doing isn't right.
She's engaged.
I had my chance, and I fucked it up.
But resisting is out of the question as I wrap her writhing naked form in my arms, pressing her trembling body against my own. Cassidy's eyes are as wide as saucers as she looks into mine, her hands hesitating, but finding their way around my neck nonetheless.
"Cassidy," I groan, and I know she can feel my cock throbbing between us even though the water is ice cold.
I see the inner turmoil in her eyes. She knows what's right, but she also knows what she wants, and those two things are most definitely not the same.
"Please, let go," she moans, but her hands grip me even tighter.
"No," I say decidedly. "Not this time around."
Our hearts beat in unison, and I know it's just a matter of time before we both lose control. Her breasts pressed against my body, she wraps her legs around me, just above my waist. I take a sharp breath and look at her with worry, trying to let her know I won't be able to hold back much longer.
"Please, Cassidy," I whisper against her wet hair. "Think it through, darlin’. Choose me. It's always been me, not him. You need to realize that."
She shakes her head, the wet strands of hair falling in her face. I tuck them behind her ear gently, my hands shaking from the cold sea. "You're mine," I tell her fiercely, and she refuses to meet my eye.
"I'm not," she says. "We've been over for years. This is so fucked up."
Her voice is breaking over the words, heavy with forbidden feelings and emotions.
And then I say something I've never, ever said before in my life. Not to a girl I'd been sleeping with, not to a parent, not to anyone.
"I love you, darlin’," I groan, realizing the words are true as they come out of my mouth.
But they have the opposite effect from the one that I want, and Cassidy looks at me with so much fear it breaks my heart to see her torn this way. She rips her body out of my embrace, leaving my hands searching for her warmth in the cold ocean.
Cassidy starts swimming away, and for some reason, I don't try to catch up. I watch her retreating figure, pain claiming my heart as she gets farther and farther away.
I want to call out after her, pull her back in. But once again, I know it needs to be her choice – she has to be the one to come back into my arms.
I've fucked up once before and it wouldn't be right to fool her again.
Watching Cassidy slide out of the water, I can't make myself look away. Her body is even more beautiful now, her waist tiny and her tits full, her ass insanely tight and tempting. I lick my lips as she pulls the slip right over her wet body, throwing one last look at me over her shoulder.
She's so beautiful, my darlin’.
Cassidy walks away, leaving me and my throbbing cock alone in the ice-cold water. It's like a cold shower, which I so desperately need.
But a smile still plays on my lips because I have another trick up my sleeve. And this time around, I'm not letting Adrian claim the prize.
Cassidy is going to be mine.
Chapter 28
CASSIDY
I know I have to leave the beach as soon as our bodies touch. Not because I don't want Dom's hands on me, but because I want them so badly. And I have to make things right before anything happens between us.
After finding the notebook, my mind is made up. I still don't know whether I want to be with Dom, or what the right choice is here, but I am certain in the knowledge that Adrian is not the man for me.
If I loved him, I wouldn't have all these feelings for Dom, and I wouldn't try to act on them. Besides, the way Dom makes me feel will never compare to the blandness of Adrian's touch.
My mouth pursed, I go back to the house and find Adrian has already left for work. Even though I want to have this conversation straight away, I make myself go about my day. I work on the design of a newly married couple's bedroom. It relieves some of the tension, but come lunchtime, I decide to go to Newport and visit Adrian in his office.
I slide his engagement ring off my finger, staring at the huge sapphire on it. It's beautiful, but it's the only beautiful thing in our relationship.
I've been fooling myself for a long time, living a life that I never wanted. I've been keeping my eyes firmly shut, seeing the residual light through the darkness. But now it's as if a whole new world has opened up, a dreamland of vivid, gorgeous colors. And I know I won't be able to live with my eyes closed anymore.
I push the ring inside my purse and drive to Newport, parking in the lot under Adrian's workplace. I didn't call ahead, knowing he might say he's busy working – but I just can't wait any longer. I need to tell him now.
His assistant is out when I get to the office, but the receptionist knows me well and lets me through. I stride to Adrian's office, a beautiful room with gorgeous wood paneling I helped him decorate. He got promoted last year, earning his own office and a beautiful view of the beach.
I knock in my signature way, letting him know it's me, then open the door.
My fiancé is sitting on his office chair, the one I picked for him lovingly, choosing a buttery cream color to calm him while he works. His trousers are unbuttoned and there's a woman on her knees in front of him, sucking his cock.
I just stare at the scene in front of me, feeling nothing. I'm empty. Completely devoid of feelings and emotions.
Adrian throws his head back, his mouth open in a surprised o-shape. "Cassidy," he groans, and I realize he hasn't seen me yet. He's calling my name as some woman sucks him off. Sick. It's sick.
"Right here." The words roll off my tongue before I can stop them.
His eyes find me standing at the door, widening in horror.
"Cassidy!" he says in a raised tone, rushing to get up. His trousers fall to the floor in the process and reveal his erect cock, still slick with the other woman's saliva.
I can't move, still glued to the doorway as I stare at the disaster in front of me. The woman on her knees gets up, facing away from me. She's wearing a pencil skirt and begins buttoning up her blouse before turning towards me, her mouth pursed in a tight line.
I recognize her immediately. "Brielle?" I ask.
She smirks at me, wiping her mouth with her palm which makes me cringe since the action is so vulgar. It's Dom's cousin, the woman who has been helping me organize Valerie's wedding. On her knees. Sucking off my husband-to-be.
"Get the hell out, Brielle," Adrian spits out as I just stare and stare. She grabs her purse and laughs as she leaves, shooting me an evil look on her way out. I have enough strength in me to grab her wrist as she passes me, and she stops in surprise.
I've mentioned I've changed a lot since the first summer in this town. I've become calmer, softer, gentler. But the scene I just saw has left me raw and emotional, and for once in my life, I let my real personality shine through.
"What are you gonna do, slap me?" Brielle asks, laughing as I hold her limp wrist between my fingers. "You're useless, Cassidy. As a woman and as a lay, or so I've heard."
Her words should cut deep, but instead they make me feel fury. "No," I reply sweetly. "I don't need to slap you. Reality will do that for me, dear."
She looks at me in confusion, but I'm not done with this whore yet. "You think you've won, Brielle?" I ask her as she returns a defiant stare. "You have nothing. You're a taken man's whore, and he'll never take you
as anything else.”
Her resolve falters as I lean in closer, getting ready to deliver the final blow. "And don't think I don't know why you're so involved in the wedding. I know you're hoping to inherit something when Valerie passes," I spit in her face and she looks guilty. It immediately lets me know I've hit the nail on the head.
"You won't get a damn cent. Why don't you go find someone else to take advantage of now? Your job here is done," I finish with a syrupy-sweet voice, and she rips her wrist out of my hand.
"Actually, I've changed my mind," I finish. "I think I will slap you."
And the sound of my hand hitting her cheek resonates in the room. "You can go now," I let her know as she clutches her reddening cheek in shock.
She rushes out of the room, not looking back once. And then it's just Adrian and me, my heart pounding faster than ever as he strides towards me.
"Cassidy," he says desperately, and my eyes are focused on his crotch. His zipper is still undone, and for some reason, that bothers me more than the fact that I just found him cheating.
"I never meant for it to happen," he begins, the words rushing out of his mouth, meaning shit to me. "It was nothing, she didn't mean anything. She was just a fuck…"
"Just a hole to put your dick in when I wouldn't let you?" I ask matter-of-factly, and he looks away, looking broken. But I didn't do this to him – it's a pain he inflicted on himself.
I dig in my purse, pulling out my engagement ring and handing it over to him with a cold expression. Adrian groans out loud, running his hands through his surfer blond hair, leaving it in disarray. He refuses to take it and it remains in my hand, as heavy as the burden I feel on my heart right now.
"No, Cassidy, I won't take it back," he says desperately. "Don't you understand? You're all there is for me. I fucked up, I know. I fucked up."
His voice is full of remorse, his words ringing true in my mind. I know he's telling the truth this time around, but it doesn't mean anything to me. My mind was made up when I left the house an hour ago.
But I let him go on, enjoying the torture he must be going through. He deserves to suffer for doing this to me, betraying my trust in the worst way possible.
"Cassidy," he continues eagerly, trying to grab my hand. I move away from his touch, too disgusted to feel his skin against mine, even if it is for the last time ever. "I fucked up. I've just…"
"Just what?" I ask, needing to hear his reasoning behind what's been going on, even if it doesn't change a thing between us.
Adrian raises his gaze to mine, his eyes broken just like his soul. "I've been living in Dom's shadow for four years," he says, his voice heavy with emotions that make me blush. "You never talked about him, never mentioned him. But it's always been him – if you hadn't found out about the bet, you'd still be with him. That's why I told you, because I wanted you for myself."
He tries reaching for me again and I move away once more, so his hand falls away empty. "I tried so fucking hard to be enough for you, Cassidy," he says heavily. "I tried to make you happy, tried to give you everything you wanted."
I look into his eyes and I’m surprised to see them brimming with tears. But what's more surprising is the fact that it doesn't make me feel a thing – not remorse, not glee at his pain. Not a goddamn thing.
"As soon as he came back into your life, I knew I'd never keep you. We could get married, have children, but you'd always want him. He'd always be the one that got away."
His words are true, even if I don't want to admit it.
"That doesn't excuse you sleeping with Brielle," I say, already tired from this conversation.
"No, it doesn't," Adrian agrees. "But I never loved her. Always, since that summer four years ago, you've been the one for me. And I'm sorry, so fucking sorry, Cassidy, that I can't be the same for you."
His voice breaks as he wipes his eyes. His confession may be heartbreaking, but it just makes me feel embarrassed for him, and even more for me. I've been stuck in a loveless relationship for four years.
This man has broken himself, but I had a hand in hurting him, too. I've transformed myself into someone I don't even want to be. I bite my bottom lip, fighting back my own tears.
"I'm sorry, Adrian," I admit with defeat. "I'm sorry I didn't need you the way you needed me."
We're both quiet for a long moment and I take his hand next, opening his palm. I place my engagement ring firmly on it, folding his fingers over it. "Keep it," I tell him forcefully when he tries to stop me. "You'll find a girl who deserves it more than I do."
I know he's about to object, but I press a finger to my lips and smile at him as I retreat from his office.
"I'll send movers with your stuff to your parents’ house," I tell him, already deciding that it's for the best. "You'll have everything in a couple of days."
Then, I turn abruptly on my heel and rush outside, needing the fresh air to wake me up from this nightmare. I ignore Adrian's voice calling after me.
Stepping out on the pavement, the scorching heat hits my face, but it feels good. And for the first time in four years, I feel hopeful.
My stride is relaxed, my hips swaying as I walk towards my car. I mentally promise myself to never change who I am for a man again. From now on, I am Cassidy Lynn – the real thing. What you see is what you get.
I arrive at the house and seek refuge in my old bedroom, the one room in the house I left unchanged. I fall back on my bed and have the sudden urge to call Susie. She's always been there for me these past few years, always had my back.
I wonder how she'll take my news.
She answers her phone right away. "What’s up, Cass?" she asks enthusiastically.
I contemplate how I should tell her what happened, but before I can stop myself, I'm already blurting the truth. "I broke up with Adrian."
A long pause follows, after which I hear a strange noise on the other end of the line. "Susie? Are you okay over there?"
"I'm laughing," she admits. "Finally, you’ve see some sense, you stupid woman!"
I move the phone away from my ear and stare at it in shock. Susie has always been supportive of my relationship with Adrian. "Huh?" I ask in confusion.
Susie sighs, her voice laced with giggles, just like when we were younger and used to gossip on the phone for hours. "It’s about time, Cassidy. He wasn't right for you, and deep down, you knew it."
I let her words sink in, realizing she's totally right. But it's a realization I needed to come to by myself, and I appreciate that she didn't tell me her real thoughts sooner.
"I know what prompted this," Susie says with more seriousness this time around. "I always knew he'd come back for you, Cass–"
"Stop," I cut her off, knowing she's talking about Dom.
"No," she says stubbornly. "Not this time. You've been a fool, my dear, and it's time to fix that, before it's too late."
My heart starts pounding, my eyes fluttering through the window towards the guest house. I see Dom standing in front of the window, wearing shorts slung low on his hips, a glass of juice in his hand.
He pulls his hand out of his pocket and raises it in greeting. It makes his shorts slide lower. I gulp.
"It's play time," Susie gushes over the phone, almost as if she's right here, seeing the delicious view in front of me.
Chapter 29
DOM
My mother is getting married today, and my heart is pounding like it's my day of doom, not hers. I have something planned for today, and it might be the very thing my future balances on.
I haven't talked to Cassidy since yesterday at the beach, and I have no idea what she's feeling and thinking. I've been around to the house, but she never answered the doorbell. I took it as a hint and spent the extra time preparing the surprise I have planned.
I start getting ready, knowing my mother expects me at the venue in an hour. I got a tux specifically for the occasion, and I feel like a goddamned penguin in it. The fact that some of my ink is still visible under my sleeves mak
es me feel a little better.
Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I take a deep breath. I'm taking a big step today, and I hope it’s in the right direction. I hope it pays off, because I'm realizing my life up to this point has been a farce.
A car is already waiting for me, and I get in, my palms clammy with sweat. We arrive at the destination too quickly, and I'm not ready yet. A too-enthusiastic wedding planner tucks a rose in my buttonhole. Meanwhile, she's yelling into her headset and hissing instructions to her bedraggled-looking assistant.
Both of them are attractive, and it surprises me that it's just a fact I acknowledge, not something I want to act on. Had this happened a month ago, I'd be eager to get them both in my bed – if possible, at the same time. But today, my mind is preoccupied, swimming with thoughts of one particular redhead.
"You go see your mother now," the planner says tiredly. "She'll be waiting for you to make last-minute arrangements. You're walking down the aisle in twenty."
"What?" I ask in confusion as she tries to slide away, gripping her wrist in my hand. "What the hell are you on about?"
"Your mother," she repeats like I'm brain damaged. "You are walking her down the aisle in twenty minutes."
"But I don't even know the man she's marrying," I protest. Bert is flying in late because of some work he had to wrap up, so I didn't have a chance to meet him up until the big event.
The woman gives me a venomous look.
"Listen, pal," she spits out. "That's the plan and you better go with it." She waves her notebook in the air. "Do you want me to hit you with this? Because I will do it!"
I can't help but laugh at this neurotic woman, which seems to piss her off even more. She will hate me in a couple of hours, but for now, I'll go with her plan. I nod, letting go of her wrist and raising my arms in the air in sign of defeat.
She huffs and puffs for a second longer before stomping off to deal with another pre-wedding disaster. I head towards the back of the hall where my mother is supposedly waiting for me.
There's a big door in the back, and I knock on it hesitantly, half hoping no one will answer. What is a guy supposed to say to his own mother on her wedding day, anyway?
Heartbreak Summer Page 14