All I have to do right now is focus on the interview, and then I’ll find Max and tell him how I feel. I take a deep breath, compose myself and walk as fast as I can to the concert hall. I know I’m going to be late, so let’s hope Jonathan doesn’t ask any questions. God knows I’m a terrible liar.
8
Max
I have no idea how she does it, but Valérie always manages to get under my skin, without even trying. With a few words, she can be sure that the alpha male in me comes out. Jesus, I have never been so possessive when it comes to a woman, but because of her, I tend to beat on my chest as King Kong did and make it clear to anyone who wants to hear that she is mine. Mine alone!
Why didn’t she want to interview me first? And why did that feel like a knife straight through my heart? Of course, it is not as if she would do anything with the other band members. It may have been a long time since I was around Valérie, but I’m sure she’s not the type of woman that would cheat on a man.
Except it wouldn’t be cheating since she’s not your girlfriend.
I silence the small voice inside my head. She’s mine; she just doesn’t realize it yet. Her body clearly hadn’t forgotten how it felt between us, because as soon as I got closer, I saw her stiff nipples through the shirt she was wearing. I couldn’t hold back when she left the breakfast room alone. Apparently, she couldn’t get away from me fast enough, but even though I was sure she remembered my touch, I would never let the opportunity to touch her pass me by.
And that’s exactly the reason I followed her to the alley, and the reason I gave her something to remember me by so that she would think of me all day. Every time she closes her eyes, it is my smell that she will smell, my touch that she will feel on her skin and my voice that she will hear, asking her who she will think of.
I’m sitting here, in my hotel room. Alone. And now I realize that I have not only given her a souvenir but myself one as well. Her unique, feminine fragrance still hangs on my body. Every moan she made I can still hear echoing in my head, and I can still taste her sweet taste on the tip of my tongue.
I must have lost my mind to do that to her in an alley. I mean, what would have happened if someone had seen us like that. Not that I didn’t keep a close eye on the fact that nobody could see us, but I should have known better. There is always paparazzi lurking somewhere to take the ideal picture or some fan who realizes that there is money to be made with a picture or a video of her and me in such a situation. And that could have seriously damaged both her and me. That is absolutely not what I want. I want her to trust me again and come to me with every problem. Not have her want to run away from me as soon as possible.
A knock on the door of my hotel room jolts me out of my thoughts. I step to the door, and when I open it, Jolene is standing there.
“Hey, sis. What do I owe this visit to?”
“Can I come in? Talk to you?”
I frown. I don’t like the tone of her question, and I can see she’s upset about something. My sister usually doesn’t come to me when she has problems; at least, not anymore. After the death of our parents, I have taken it upon myself always to support her. Just after the funeral, I took Jolene on our tour with Full Moon. A decision she certainly does not regret now. That’s how she got to know John, and he’s the one she now goes to when there’s something wrong. So, the fact that she is coming to me now should mean that it’s something important.
“Of course, come in.”
She walks past me and over to the bed. With a big sigh, she sits down. She doesn’t even notice that I’ve come to sit next to her, she’s so deep in thought. She slowly rocks back and forth and plays with the hem of her skirt. Even now that I’m sitting next to her, she still doesn’t look at me. I carefully put my hand on her knee.
“Whatever the problem, I am your brother, and you can come to me for anything.”
She looks up at me, and tears glisten in her eyes. She blinks frantically with those long lashes of hers, to avoid the tears falling. I don’t like to see her like this, so I decide I’d better use humor as my best weapon.
“Is it something with John? Should I go over to him and cut off his balls?”
Luckily, she can laugh about it anyway. Which also reassures me that this has nothing to do with John.
“No,” she says with certainty. “Everything is fine with John and me. But... there’s something else I want to talk about with you.”
“Okay,” I encourage her, and I squeeze her hand again to reassure her. “What is going on?”
“John and I have found a house we would like to buy. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid. But in the short time I’ve lived at home again... I can’t live in that house anymore, Max. Everything reminds me of them.” She starts to sob. I realize that she needs to let it all out for once. I pull her against me and let her tell her story. “I can’t go there anymore. There are too many memories of Mom and Dad everywhere in that house. I want to make a new start with John.”
For a while, the two of us sit on the bed staring out in front of us. I’m sure we’re both thinking back on some great memories of our parents. We were always a close-knit family. I still remember perfectly how the house was decorated every year at Christmas. Our Christmas decorations have lasted for years. And every year we said we would buy new ones, but still, the old garlands and ornaments were brought out year after year after year. The decorations are still somewhere in a box in the attic.
Actually, I am glad that my sister has started talking about this, because for a while now I have been thinking that we should sell our childhood home. Not that I don’t want to think back to our youth, but it hurts too much to go there. Maybe I should check if there is another house for sale in our town. That way we remain connected with our childhood, but we don’t have to deal with the loss every time we walk into our parent’s home.
Why didn’t I think of that before? It is my job to take care of my sister, and I will continue to do so now.
“I will contact someone tomorrow to sell the house. With the money we get for it, we might be able to buy another house in the same neighborhood. So we can go back whenever we want.”
Jolene looks at me with tearful eyes. “Are you sure, you don’t need to sell it; you could still live there if you want.”
“Of course, I’m sure. I’ve had the idea of selling the house for some time, but I thought that you might have wanted to keep it.”
Despite her tears, she still gives me a little smile. “You are the best brother a girl could wish for.”
“I couldn’t have gotten a better little sister than you.”
“By the way, do I have to remind you that tomorrow there will be a fitting for the tuxedos for the wedding party? You and all the other band members are expected in the shop.”
“Is that really necessary?”
“I’m not going to discuss this anymore. And besides, you are the one who has to lead me to the altar, don’t you want to look your best?”
She looks at me with those sweet puppy eyes she always gets her way with. I pull her against me and kiss her on her forehead.
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, sis.”
9
Valerie
When I arrive at the concert hall, Steve lets me in. He looks at me closely from head to toe, and I blush. I am sure that my face shows what I have just done with Max. Not to mention the fact that I’m not wearing any panties at the moment. Luckily my pencil skirt comes over my knee, but I’ll be aware all day long that I’m not wearing anything under my skirt, and I’m sure that was exactly Max’s intention.
I don’t think I’ve ever walked around without a pair of panties before. It’s an automatic thing to put a pair on every day, and I’ve never had a boyfriend ask me not to wear any before. And yet I have to admit that I find it exciting when Max treats me like that. I would love to go back to the hotel now and to live out all my wild fantasies from last night with him. But I must not forget that I am here to work,
not to be distracted by Max.
I walk through the narrow corridor to the common room and sigh with relief when I see that Jonathan is not there yet. That gives me some time to get myself together and prepare everything. I’m just getting my laptop ready when Jonathan comes in. He has a grim expression on his face. It’s clear that he would rather be somewhere else, which makes me wonder what his experience with other journalists is.
“Where do you want me?”
I pull up one eyebrow at him, and he immediately laughs. He runs his hand through his hair.
“Fuck, sorry, that came out wrong. I mean where do you want me to sit.”
“You can sit wherever you feel most comfortable. The sofa, the chair...”
“Then I choose the sofa.”
“Make yourself comfortable. All I have to do is open the right program and get my questions, and then I’m ready for you. Do you mind if I record our conversation? That’s easier for me to write the article later.”
“Okay, no problem.”
I wait for Jonathon to sit down, put the recording device on the table and look at him. “Ready?”
He grabs at his hair again and looks at me with what seems like insecurity. “Yep, the sooner you start, the faster this is over with.”
“Let me first make it clear that you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, Jonathan. I have collected the top three questions from our readers, shall we start with that?”
“Okay.”
I sit a little straighter and take the sheet with the questions. Here we go.
AFTER THE INTERVIEW with Jonathan, I go back to the hotel. I really need a nap. After that short night’s sleep, I’m never going to make it to the end of this evening. As soon as I walk into the lobby, I feel his gaze on me. I don’t even have to look around to know that he’s standing here somewhere. That’s the effect he has on me. I look around and see him standing next to the elevator. He leans against the wall, with one foot on the ground and the other against the wall. He’s wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, probably to blend in and not get recognized.
For a moment, I stand still and look at him. Even though his sunglasses are so dark that I can’t see his eyes, I’m sure he’s looking at me. The longing of earlier this morning rises up in my belly, and I feel the desire course through my veins. The peace and quiet I was looking forward to, instantly forgotten. Ever since the first day I saw him again, these feelings have been bubbling up in me whenever I see him. No matter how hard I try to fight against it, I cannot deny a longing that is so intense.
There is only one question, do I dare to open my heart to him again?
Max remains still, watching me and waiting. As if he knows that this is a choice I have to make myself. It feels like we are the only two people in the lobby and I forget everything and everyone around me. Like they have a mind of their own, my feet start moving again, and I walk toward the elevator. I push the button and wait patiently for the elevator doors to open. All this time I still feel his gaze burning on my back. When the elevator finally arrives, I get in and press the button for the top floor. A few more people get in, and I slide to the back to make room. When Max doesn’t enter the elevator, I start to feel anxious. Did I misread him? Was he not waiting for me in the lobby? Then why was he looking at me like that? I can feel my heart beating in my throat.
When the elevator door starts to close, is the moment I feel my heart break. He’s not coming. But just as I’m thinking I was all wrong about Max I see a hand pushing in between to stop the door from closing. When the door opens, he’s standing there. His eyes locked on mine. I squirm on my feet and feel like everyone is looking at me, but when I look around, no one is. Max may have waited until the last second, but he gets in and finds his way to the back of the elevator, on the opposite wall.
In this small space, it feels even more intense now that I know he is only a few inches away from me. My whole body longs for him. The elevator doors close, and it starts to move. With every floor we ascend, the tension builds. I have to cross my legs to relieve the tension, but it immediately reminds me that I’m not wearing any underwear. When I hear Max chuckle, I know that it didn’t escape him either.
At every stop, people get out until only me and Max are left in the small space. I had expected him to come toward me as soon as we were alone, but he stays on his side. You can almost hear the energy between us spark in the air. When the doors open, I hesitate for a moment because I don’t know what he expects of me. But when he doesn’t make a move, I leave the elevator and fish my key card out of my handbag. I can’t help but feel the disappointment running through me. I wanted him to follow me. When I step inside my room, I want to turn around to close the door again, but I’m stopped as Max enters and forces me backward. I didn’t even hear him follow me. He closes the door with his foot and with every step he takes forward, I put one back. Max takes off his cap and sunglasses and throws them without care on the ground. He grins at me, bends down and throws me over his shoulder.
I scream and drop my handbag on the floor. He hits my ass with his free hand.
“Shh. You don’t want anyone from the band to hear you, do you?”
My God, even now he can irritate me.
I know what his plan is. He’s trying to get me to stop him. We both know that this, us, is not a good idea. But when Max is this close to me, I can’t remember why we’re a bad idea. Nothing good can come out of this. Only regret and sorrow. My head knows it’s a bad idea, but my heart beats so hard that I fear it will explode if he doesn’t touch me.
As if I’m a feather, he throws me on the bed and immediately comes to lie on top of me. His mouth comes crashing down on mine, and we devour each other. It’s a fierce, all-consuming kiss. Mouth, tongue, lips, every part of him is touching a part of me somewhere. I lose myself in him. For once I don’t want to think about the consequences, don’t think about what this can do to my job when this comes out. I want one night, only him and me. Without consequences, without thinking.
I push my hands into his hair and pull him even closer to me. My whole body is on fire, and I know Max is the only one who can take care of that for me. But I also know that I should not think too much about this, because then my heart is going to win over my mind.
I lift his T-shirt over his abs and moan when he pushes his hard as steel erection against me. When our kiss is broken, he pulls the T-shirt over his head and throws it on the ground. He pushes my skirt up until it’s around my hips. He opens my blouse, by putting both his hands into it and just ripping it open. The buttons fly around the room. I should be angry about it, I really should make a snappy remark about it, but I can’t do that. Because it excites me that he is so rough; that he just takes what he wants, without even asking me if I want this. It’s like he knows a part of me, I didn’t even know existed.
He grins at me, and it feels like he can read my mind. To prevent him from saying anything, I pull him back to me and kiss him again. I try to show him with my body what I can’t tell him with words. My whole body is on the verge of climaxing, and my nipples have formed into tight knobs, begging for his touch.
It is Max who breaks the kiss. He leans on one arm, and with his other free hand, he pulls the cups of my bra down. Both my nipples are now free and standing proudly erect.
“You’re such a horny girl.” He brings his mouth to the right nipple and licks it. “You like it when I’m so rough with you, don’t you?”
I refuse to answer and squeeze my lips tightly together. He laughs and gives my other nipple the same treatment as the first. When I remain silent, he gets more determined, and that makes him resort to more drastic means. He opens the zipper of his pants and pulls them down together with his boxer shorts, so his erection jumps freely, and pushes his shaft against my opening.
“You’re so wet for me, Valérie. I want you to tell me that you like this, and then I’ll give you what you want, what you need.”
I look at him angrily. “You better ma
ke this worth my time.”
That makes him laugh even harder. “I knew she was still there. The Valérie I used to know who was not afraid to stand up for herself and she wants. She always told me what she thought. And do you know what, lovely?” He waits a while, as if I know what to answer, but then finishes his sentence. “That’s what I loved most about you.”
His words touch me deeply. He loved me. That is literally what he just said. My heart makes a dizzying jump. Luckily, I don’t have much time to think. Max takes himself in hand, brings the head of his dick to my opening and pushes himself in with one thrust. We both moan, and for a moment he stays completely still, with his dick fully inside of me. He doesn’t move, and I feel how tight I am around him.
“This is so much better than my wildest dreams,” he pants.
I wiggle my ass to get him to move. My whole body is still buzzing with need, and I want him to keep his promise. Again he laughs, but he’s still not moving. He brings his mouth to my ear but doesn’t move the rest of his body, not even an inch.
“Say it, Valérie,” he demands. “Tell me what I want to hear.”
Stubborn as I am, I remain silent. Does he really think I’m going to admit that out loud? Apparently, he has forgotten how stubborn I can be when I really want to. He stays in me motionless but brings his mouth to my right ear. He gently blows on it. Feeling his warm breath on my ear sends a thrill down my spine, and my hips push up to meet his. Although I thought it was impossible, he penetrates deeper into me, and I moan hard.
“I want, Max... You have to...”
I don’t get the words out of my lips, but I know he won’t give me what I want as long as I don’t give him his way. He brings his head back to my ear. “Say it, Valérie.”
He raises his head and looks me straight in the eyes. He knows he has me where he wants me to be, on the edge of an all-consuming orgasm. He is the master, and I am his puppet. At this moment he can do anything with me, whatever he wants because I have to come. I push aside all other objections and surrender to the feelings I have. Tomorrow, I may regret this, but now this is what I want, what I need. So I forgot about all my hesitations, look him in the eyes with confidence and say what I want.
Say You Crave Me (Full Moon, #4) Page 8