Aideen

by L. A. Casey

  Kane couldn’t hold my gaze anymore. He dropped his head and sagged his shoulders in shame.

  “I’m disgusted with myself for not being here for it all.”

  I was disgusted with him too.

  “What did I tell you?” I asked him.

  He looked up at me and shrugged.

  “I told you I wouldn’t be with you when you’re attached to that life.”

  Pure panic marred Kane’s features.

  “Please,” he begged in a low voice. “Please forgive me. I won’t do it again. I won’t help Ryder ever again. I swear on my life.”

  It hurt me seeing him so desperate, but I decided I had to be cruel to be kind. I loved him, and I was not letting our relationship fail because of his stupid mistakes. He was my forever, and I was going to make him realise the baby and myself were his.

  I kept my expression as blank as I possibly could; I tried my hardest to be heartless.

  I was about to scare him straight.

  “I think you should leave,” I said, locking my gaze with his.

  “Aideen,” he choked and stumbled forward until his knees knocked into our bed. “Please, I’m begging you, don’t do this.”

  Don’t break until he does.

  “I didn’t do anythin’, you did,” I replied leisurely. “I’ve asked you, no I’ve begged you, repeatedly, to tell me what you and Ryder were up to, and I’ve pleaded with you not to be involved with it... but you completely ignored me. You said it wouldn’t take you from me, but it has. You almost missed the birth of your son for it… was it worth it?”

  “I’m so sorry,” he croaked, as tears fell from his eyes and dropped onto his cheeks.

  Put the fear of God into him.

  “No, I’m sorry, Kane,” I said with a shake of my head. “I’m sorry I let this go so far. I truly thought your love and respect for me would be enough for you to do the right thing, but I’m obviously not worth it. You chose somethin’ dangerous, illegal and plain disgustin’ over me.”

  I looked down to my left hand, wiggled the engagement ring off my finger and threw it to the end of the bed where it landed before him. He looked at me with widened eyes and the look of utter heartbreak that encased him was almost too much for me to bear. But I needed him to realise that he could lose me over something he thought wasn’t much of a problem.

  I wanted him scared shitless.

  “Please don’t leave me,” he cried. “I’d die without you.”

  I looked to our son so he wouldn’t see my act was falling apart.

  “If you don’t put me first, what’s to say you won’t put him first?”

  I looked back to Kane as he grabbed my engagement ring and crawled up the bed until he was face to face with me.

  “I’m begging you not to do this. You and that precious boy are my everything, I swear to you.”

  I frowned. “I don’t know if that’s enough for us to work.”

  “Babydoll,” he breathed and placed his hands on my cheeks. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. I don’t want to lose what I live for. You and our son. I never thought it was possible to love two people as much as I do you two. I love you both so much it hurts. Please, don’t take away my reason for living.”

  Damn him!

  I leaned into him. “You swear on his life that you’re done with anything related to your old life?”

  “I swear.” He frantically nodded. “I swear to God.”

  I regarded him for a long moment before I nodded and said, “Okay.”

  Kane crumbled before me, and pressed his forehead against mine. I forced myself not to fall apart, but my God it was hard. I had never seen him so broken, and it gutted me that I caused it, but I had to.

  I had to scare him into believing I was really done with him; if I hadn’t, who knows how long he would have ‘helped’ Ryder for. For all I knew, it probably would have forced us apart in the long run and broken our family.

  “I love you so fucking much,” he whispered.

  I put my arms around his neck. “I love you too, sweetheart... now give me my ring back.”

  Kane wiped his face before he placed the ring back on my finger and kissed it. I lifted my hand and nudged his head up until he was looking at me.

  “You have me heart,” I told him. “Don’t ever forget that.”

  He nodded his head. “I won’t, not ever.”

  I kissed him then, and he kissed me back with a fierce hunger. It lasted a few moments before he pulled back and rustled around until he was under the bed cover next to me.

  “Lie down,” he urged. “I need to hold you.”

  He helped me get settled on the bed before he stretched out next to me.

  “Babydoll?”

  I snuggled back against him and murmured, “Yes.”

  “I say it all the time, but I really do love you with all of my heart. You know that, right?”

  I closed my eyes and smiled. “I know, babe. I’m sorry about being so horrible, I never want to hurt you or make you cry.”

  “You had every right to be furious with me. I almost missed our son being born over Ryder and his stupid deals.”

  I snuggled into my pillow. “Let’s not talk about it anymore. It’s done now and your decision has been made. You made it for his birth and that’s all that matters.”

  I felt Kane nod as he hugged me, lowering his hands down to my stomach.

  “It’s all flabby,” I grumbled.

  Kane snorted. “It’s weird that your stomach isn’t huge and hard. I can still feel a smaller bump, but Branna said that will go down in a few days as your womb starts the process of shrinking back to normal.”

  I looked over my shoulder. “You talked to her about stuff like that?”

  “All the time,” he nodded. “I want to know what you’re going through.”

  I smiled and looked forward, staring into our son’s Moses basket.

  “What will we name him?” I questioned.

  Kane sighed. “I don’t know, what do you like?”

  I grinned. “Promise you won’t laugh?” Kane nodded his head so I said, “Jax.”

  He broke his promise and laughed, lowly.

  “Hey.”

  “Sorry,” he chuckled.

  I frowned. “You don’t like it.”

  “I actually do. I was just thinking of how Jax Teller brought us together that fateful day in Ryder and Branna’s house.”

  I grinned. “Through Jax Teller all things are possible.”

  Kane chuckled. “Jax Slater... that sounds cool.”

  “Jax Slater,” I repeated. “I love it.”

  “So we’re settled on his name being Jax?”

  I nodded with excitement and said, “Yeah, but what will his middle name be?”

  “I was thinking of his middle name being after your dad.”

  I felt my lower lip wobble. “Really?”

  “Of course,” Kane nodded. “Your dad is awesome, and the look of admiration and love he holds for you and Jax fills my heart. He is a good man, and will be an awesome papaw.”

  I beamed. “Papaw. That’s so cute, I love that.”

  Kane chuckled. “So his name is Jax Daniel Slater?”

  “Yes! Wait, Jax Daniel... is it just me, or does that sound like Jack Daniels?”

  Kane suddenly burst into laughter. “We can’t change it now, we already agreed.”

  Oh, man.

  I lightly laughed. “Me da will get a right kick out of this.”

  “I love you, Jax,” Kane murmured after out laughter subsided.

  I placed my hands on top of his and said, “Me and you?”

  “Me and you.”

  I smiled then and closed my eyes as sleep grabbed me. The last thing I remembered before I fell into darkness was that my heart was even fuller as another Slater man entered my life and dominated it.

  Twelve weeks later...

  It was the ever familiar sound that made a tired mother sigh, and a new uncle reel
in horror.

  “Please don’t tell me you just did that, Jax.”

  Jax farted for a second time, and the follow through was louder than before.

  “Oh, my God!” Nico gasped then heaved when the foul smell reached his nostrils. “Quick, take him.”

  I laughed at Jax’s grinning face, and Nico’s revolted one.

  “No.”

  Nico looked at me with wide, horrified eyes. “What do you mean, no? He needs his diaper changed! He stinks.”

  I stayed seated. “You’re goin’ to change him.”

  “Me?!” Nico screeched.

  He looked terrified.

  I calmly nodded my head. “You need to practice. Bronagh will have your baby before you know it. Nappy changin’ is a skill you need to master sooner rather than later.”

  Nico looked visibly ill.

  “What if I hurt him? He is tiny.”

  I deadpanned. “You got away with that excuse when he was a newborn, but he is twelve weeks old now; he is much bigger and sturdier. You won’t break him.”

  “But—”

  “You’re changin’ him.”

  Nico groaned in defeat and looked at Jax. “I love you, little man, but I don’t love the presents you leave in your diapers.”

  I snorted. “Get used to it; you have all this ahead of you.”

  Nico grumbled to himself as he stood up with Jax in his arms and walked towards the sitting room door. He paused at the doorway and looked over to me and said, “I need you to instruct me on what to do. Come with me.”

  I chuckled as I stood up and followed him out of the sitting room, and down to Jax’s bedroom. I leaned against the doorframe of the room and watched as Nico laid my son down on top of his changing table.

  “What do I do first?” Nico asked, not taking his eyes away from Jax.

  “Take off his babygrow and vest. Open the nappy he is wearin’, roll it up with one hand and put it into the bin bag on the side of the table. Before you do that though, pull out some baby wipes so you can grab them quickly to avoid a mess. A fresh nappy is to your right. When he is wiped and powdered, you put it on. Easy.”

  “Easy? Missions to space take less fucking instructions from NASA than that!”

  I burst into laughter.

  “Are you okay?” I quickly asked when he dry heaved again.

  Nico composed himself and nodded his head. “We got this, haven’t we, buddy?” he cooed to Jax.

  Jax had his fingers in his mouth and was busy chewing on them, but when Nico spoke to him, he gave his uncle his undivided attention. He began to talk in his baby language, and it melted my heart.

  “He does this with you, your brothers and my brothers all the time! He smiles and tries to talk, but with the girls he doesn’t have the time of day for them. He just grabs at them.”

  Nico didn’t look up from unbuttoning Jax’s babygrow as he said, “He’s a Slater, it’s wired into him to choose bros over hoes.”

  I snickered. “I’m tellin’ the girls you called them hoes.”

  “I’ll deny it,” Nico said, grinning to himself.

  I snorted and watched as Nico stripped Jax of his baby grow and vest. He did a good job in taking them off gently. He was about to open the wings of the nappy, but just as he was about to do it my apartment door opened.

  I leaned backwards and looked to see who it was. I saw an arm and a colourful dragon tattoo that told me who my visitor was.

  “Hey, Alec.”

  Alec stepped into my apartment and closed the door after himself. He looked in my direction after hearing my greeting. He smiled and walked down the hallway to me.

  “Hey, preggers.”

  I deadpanned. “I told you not to call me that until I begin to show again.”

  “Sorry, I forgot.”

  I playfully rolled my eyes then screeched when Alec poked my sides.

  “I can’t believe you’re six weeks pregnant,” he said in awe. “The first time you and Kane have sex after Jax is born and he knocks you up. His dick is lethal.”

  I laughed. “It was a build-up of no sex for six weeks.. he just got excited.”

  “I’ll say.” Alec laughed.

  I shook my head, chuckling. “We wanted to try again anyway, so it worked out.”

  It worked out all right, I was six weeks along into my second pregnancy, and we couldn't be happier about it. While I could have done with some time to lose the forty pounds I had yet to lose from my pregnancy with Jax, I was still over the moon.

  This time around I would do things differently. I planned to regularly work out with Kane and eat better to help control my weight gain. I wanted to use some creams and oils on my skin to help reduce the chances of stretch marks. My stomach, hips, thighs and even my breasts got destroyed with them the first time, and if I could help it, I would try avoiding them completely on round two.

  My body already looked like a purple and pink road map to Hell, I didn't need to add to it.

  “Is Dominic still here?” Alec asked, gaining my attention.

  I nodded. “He’s in here.”

  I leaned my shoulder back against the doorframe and snorted when Alec came up behind me so he could see into Jax’s room.

  He said, “What the fuck is he doing?”

  Nico still had his fingertips on the wings of the nappy, but he hesitated in pulling them open.

  “Changin’ his first nappy,” I answered Alec.

  He grunted in distaste. “Why?”

  “Because Bronagh is pregnant. He needs to learn.”

  Alec huffed. “What’s there to learn? You take off the dirty diaper, wipe and powder, and then put on a fresh one. I watch Teen Mom, I know what I’m talking about.”

  “It’s not that easy!” Nico hissed without taking his eyes away from Jax and his nappy.

  Alec snorted. “Sure it is.”

  “Help me then,” Nico challenged.

  “I got this,” Alec said and slid past me into Jax’s room.

  Alec moved over to Nico’s side and looked down at his nephew.

  “My little man!” he gushed. “You’re so cute—oh Jesus! What is that smell?”

  Nico grunted and covered his nose with his hand. “It’s Jax.”

  “Oh, bro,” Alec whispered and plugged his nostrils with his fingers. “That is not right, should he smell like that? He might have a disease.”

  Nico gasped and girly slapped Alec’s shoulder. “Don’t say that!”

  I was holding onto my side because a stitch developed from laughing.

  “He is fine,” I panted, “that’s just a normal smell.”

  Alec scrunched up his face in disgust. “It smells like something crawled up inside his ass and died.”

  “Stop it!” I cackled.

  Alec shook his head as he looked down at my son. “You out stink Storm, buddy. That’s not cool.”

  Jax was still chewing on his fingers as he laughed up at Alec and began to talk to him. Jax was having a full on conversation and Alec responded with head nods and funny questions.

  Nico smiled at Jax. “Who do you like better, me or this chump?” He jabbed his thumb at Alec.

  Jax grumbled a few sounds but in all honesty, it really sounded like there was a ‘lec’ sound in his baby sentence, which, of course, made Alec scream with joy.

  “He. Said. Alec!”

  Nico rolled his eyes. “He did not, he was blowing spit bubbles.”

  “He did, too. He said my name. I’m his favourite,” Alec proudly announced. “Good choice, my little man.”

  Nico shook his head at his brother. Alec grinned back at Nico. “When Bronagh has your baby, I’m gonna be the favourite with him, too.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “Never doubt the baby whisperer.”

  The baby whisperer?

  I slapped my hands on my knees as I cried with laughter. Nico and Alec were hilarious when separate, but together they were too much for me to deal with.

  “Okay, baby whisperer,
” Nico challenged. “You go get the butt powder while I take off his diaper.”

  “I got this,” Alec replied with a firm nod of his head.

  He looked at me and asked, “Where is the powder?”

  I pointed to the bookcase that we converted into a holder for all of the things needed to clean up Jax. I had a few different powders for Alec to choose from, and I saw him tense up when he stood in front of the case and stared at them all.

  “Alec!” Nico heaved. “Hurry!”

  I looked to Nico and saw he got Jax’s nappy off and was currently dropping it into the bin bag on the side of the table like it was a live grenade. He grabbed a handful of the wipes, as in way too many, and quickly began to clean his behind and privates.

  “It’s under his balls!” he cried out in dismay.

  I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle down my laughter.

  “I’m sorry to have to clean you here, bro,” Nico said to Jax who laughed up at him.

  Nico shook his head. “You’re enjoying this aren’t you? You little fart.”

  Jax clapped his hands together and it made Nico laugh. When he finished cleaning Jax up, Nico looked over his shoulder to his brother and shook his head. “What’s the matter, baby whisperer? Are you having trouble with the butt powder?”

  “No!” Alec instantly replied. “I’m just trying to make a decision.”

  “Well, hurry up.”

  I began to howl with laughter when Alec fumbled with nerves as he looked for the baby powder. He was jumping back and forth from one foot to the other as if it would help him complete his task quicker.

  “Alec!” Nico snapped. “Give me the damn powder! He doesn’t want to lie down anymore. Hurry!”

  “Don’t rush me!” Alec shouted as he quickly scanned his eyes over the labels on the baby products.

  “Ah-ha!” he whooped. “I found it. This is the one Kane uses on him!”

  Nico growled. “Open it and give it here then!”

  Alec turned and looked down to the baby powder. He gripped the body of the bottle with one hand and used his other hand to turn the cap.

  Don’t squeeze the bottle!

  I tried to flag him down and warn him of the impending danger, but it was too late. Alec opened the powder, and the pressure on the body of the bottle from his grip caused white powder to shoot from the top of the bottle directly into his face.