“Terrence texted me – they’re over at your mom’s house already,” Damian confirmed, checking his phone. “And lunch is on the table waiting for us – your mom, my granny, and your sister put together a hell of a spread, apparently. He just Instagrammed it, and it looks delicious.”
“Thank god, I’m starving.” Jake lit up. His mom made a mean baked mac-n-cheese with bread crumbs every time he came to visit because she knew it was his favorite.
“I hope your families like me.” Miriam bit her lip nervously. “I’m the only roommate they haven’t met.”
“They’ll love you,” Jake reassured her, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “My mom will probably try to adopt you, honestly. Don’t worry.”
If their hands remained intertwined until the car came to a stop in Janine Perry’s driveway, no one seemed to notice or care.
They were enthusiastically received by Granny Wells, Terrence, Janine, Leah, Marley, and Janine’s boyfriend Carl, whom Jake had Skyped with a few times since Thanksgiving but had never actually met in person. Lunch was a chaotic affair, with ten people crowded into the Perry kitchen vying for food and attention. Jake had been right – his mother, sister, and niece had immediately taken to Miriam.
Late in the afternoon, Marley and Miriam were holed up in Marley’s bedroom upstairs having an impromptu tea party, Damian and Fink were passed out in the den in front of a sports game with Terrence and Carl also nodding off, and Jake was in the kitchen with his mom and Leah, drinking coffee.
“So, Miriam’s a sweet little thing,” Leah remarked, snacking on a chocolate chip cookie fresh from the oven.
“Yeah, she’s great,” Jake agreed with a smile, snatching one of the cookies from her plate.
“You never mentioned she was your girlfriend, though,” Janine prodded. “I thought you were just friends.”
“She’s not my girlfriend!” Jake sputtered, spraying cookie crumbs all over Leah, who smacked him. “We are just friends.”
“There’s an awful lot of chemistry there for ‘just friends,’“ his mother mused. “Don’t you agree, Leah?”
Leah nodded, wiping the crumbs off her shoulder. “She’s so much better than Callie, too – did you see how patient she is with Marley? Callie couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her. Definite marriage material, Jake.”
“Oh, my god,” he whined. “Stop! She’s my best friend – that’s all.”
“Really? Nothing’s ever happened between you?” Janine pried. “Not one kiss under the mistletoe, nothing?”
“Well...we sort of have this arrangement–”
“Eww,” Leah wrinkled her nose in disgust, and his mother suddenly glared menacingly at him.
“It’s not what you think!” he protested. “Neither of us wants a relationship, so when we’re out together in public and one of us gets hit on, the other one sort of…steps in, and we pretend we’re dating. So...we may have kissed a few times. But like I said, we were just pretending.”
“You can’t pretend to kiss someone,” Leah argued. “There’s either something between you or there isn’t!”
“And there definitely is,” Janine added. “Anyone could see that – it’s probably what makes you so convincing when you’re defending her from her would-be suitors, and when she’s protecting you.”
Jake sighed. It was no secret to him that he maybe, sort-of, possibly harbored more-than-friendly feelings for Miriam, or that he enjoyed kissing her more than he really should since he was only supposed to be acting. But he didn’t know how she felt about him, and he was afraid of screwing up their friendship – better to keep the status quo than risk frightening her away for good. “I don’t want to mess up what we have. She’s...important to me.”
“Just be honest with her,” Leah advised. “You don’t want to miss out on something great just because you’re scared – you’ll regret it.”
“That’s right,” his mother nodded. “I was nervous about going out with Carl after what happened with your dad all those years ago, but now I’m so glad I gave him a chance – I’ve never been happier.” She smiled contentedly.
“Okay, I guess...I guess I’ll tell her how I feel,” Jake decided. “Just – not now. I want to enjoy this trip without worrying about how she’ll react. Soon, though. Before graduation, I promise.”
Leah and Janine both sighed. “It’s a start, I suppose,” Janine replied. Leah just shrugged.
***
Once the other guys woke up from their nap and Miriam was released from Marley’s overzealous clutches, they left for Shoshanna’s downtown loft near the UT campus. She had immediately dragged them to Sixth Street for dinner, drinks, and a comedy show, barely giving them time to change into some nicer clothes.
When they’d gotten back late that night, sleeping arrangements had to be decided upon. The loft wasn’t huge, with only two bedrooms – Shoshanna’s, and the ‘extra room’ (she didn’t keep roommates long – she preferred to live alone, so the room was furnished but usually un-lived in). She had a relatively comfortable couch and matching recliner, as well as a queen-sized canopy bed in the second bedroom – if no one wanted to take the floor, they needed to put two people in that room to share the bed.
“Or, if you like, Jake or Damian can bunk with me,” Shoshanna suggested slyly. “You both could, in fact – that couch or the chair wouldn’t be nearly as comfortable as my king-sized mattress, you know.”
“Jake and I will share the bed,” Miriam said loudly. She glanced at Jake. “We’re both adults – it’s just a few nights. No big deal.”
Shoshanna smirked. “Damian?”
“Don’t worry, Damian, you can take the couch – I’ll sleep in the chair,” Fink offered. “Shoshanna, we appreciate your hospitality, but no one will be having sex with you this week.”
“That’s okay, I’m sort of seeing someone, anyway,” she shrugged. “I just like messing with your friends.”
“You are?” Fink was surprised. “Mom didn’t mention it. Is he another investment banker? Real estate mogul? Oil tycoon?”
“Mom and Dad don’t know,” she admitted. “It’s sort of new, and I think it might be leading somewhere long-term. And no, he’s a student – well, actually, he’s the TA for my Business Law class.”
“Well, good for you!” Fink exclaimed. “It would be nice to see you in a relationship for once. Now I’m ready to get some sleep – everyone, get out of my bedroom, please. We’re have a big day tomorrow, and I want to be well-rested.”
Shoshanna showed Jake and Miriam to the second bedroom. It was nicely decorated, with light yellow walls and white, puffy bedding. “You should have plenty of blankets,” she informed them, pointing to the closet, “and that door over there leads to the bathroom. Just be sure to lock both doors when you’re in there, because someone can get in from the hall, too.” She smirked at them. “Sweet dreams, kids!” She pulled the door shut behind her.
Jake took a deep breath. “Um, why don’t you use the bathroom first? It’s late; your contacts must be killing you. I’ll just change in here.”
“Thanks – my eyes feel like the Sahara desert,” Miriam replied gratefully, grabbing her duffel bag and disappearing into the bathroom.
Jake hurriedly changed out of his jeans and hoodie, leaving his boxers and tee shirt on – he hadn’t envisioned this situation when he’d packed for the trip, so he didn’t have any pajamas to wear, and he doubted Fink or Damian had any extras for him, either. “It’s not a big deal,” he told himself. “She sees you like this every morning. We’re both adults. It’s fine.”
In the bathroom, Miriam nervously brushed her teeth and pulled her hair into a loose braid. “It’s not a big deal,” she whispered to her reflection in the mirror. “He sees you in your pajamas all the time. He’s helped you change into them, for god’s sake! We’re both adults; it’s fine.” She tried to ignore her heart racing – kissing Jake as an ‘act’ for the benefit of others, oftentimes under the influence of alco
hol and always, always fully clothed, was one thing; getting into bed together completely sober and half-naked (she’d known it would be warm this week and had only packed shorts and camisoles to sleep in) was another thing entirely. “Please, don’t let things get weird,” she pleaded to herself, and opened the door.
Jake was already in bed, underneath the blanket, and he made an effort not to stare at her legs or her breasts – the skimpy pajamas she had on were not helping his already iffy control. “Um, I hope you don’t mind the left side,” he mumbled awkwardly and motioned to the ample space next to him. “We can switch places if you want.”
“No, the left is fine,” she replied awkwardly, lifting the blanket slightly and sliding in next to him. She breathed easier – the bed was big enough that Fink could have easily fit in between them. She wrinkled her nose at the thought.
“Well, good night,” Jake mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Good night,” she responded, rolling over onto her side to face the bathroom.
***
When Miriam awoke several hours later to the sun bursting through the blinds they hadn’t thought to shut the night before, she found herself snuggled against Jake’s warm chest, her legs intertwined with his. Obviously they had both gravitated to the middle of the bed during the night – maybe, she reasoned to herself, they’d both gotten cold. Either way, she didn’t want to make things any more awkward than necessary, so she wriggled out of Jake’s warm, comfortable embrace and tiptoed to the bathroom to take a shower.
Jake had actually woken up before Miriam had, and he’d been too afraid to move – he didn’t want to accidentally jostle her awake in their compromising position. He stayed completely still as she disentangled herself from him and finally sighed in relief after he heard the lock turn in the bathroom door. He decided to go hunt down some breakfast while he waited for a chance to use the facilities.
He was shocked to find Terrence in the kitchen, flipping pancakes in his underwear. “What are you doing here, man?” Jake asked, confused.
“Me!” Shoshanna announced, entering the kitchen and coming up next to Terrence, slipping her arms around his waist. “I told you I was seeing a law student.”
“You never said it was my brother!” Damian was aghast in the doorway. Fink could be heard snoring in the living room, blissfully oblivious.
“You didn’t ask.” Shoshanna pinched Terrence’s ass, and he jumped and grinned bashfully. Fink snorted and woke up.
“What’s going on in here? Terrence, what are you – oh, god, really?” Fink whined. “Now two of my roommates have slept with my sister!”
“Three, actually,” she smirked, causing Fink to gape at Jake, who turned bright red.
“What? When? How? When?” Fink squeaked, looking from Jake to Shoshanna and back again.
“New Year’s, last year,” Shoshanna supplied. “Just a one-time thing.” She glanced at Terrence. “It doesn’t bother you that I’ve been with your friend and your brother, does it?”
Terrence shook his head good-naturedly. “Nah – you’re with me now,” he replied, kissing her on the nose. Fink and Damian both gagged, horrified at this development, and Jake felt a little bit uncomfortable himself.
Miriam walked into the kitchen, fully dressed with damp hair. “Ooh, pancakes! Hey, Terrence, what – oh!”
“And now you’re all caught up,” Shoshanna quipped, grinning slyly.
“Except for the part where my sister has slept with all of my roommates,” Fink added darkly.
“No, I knew that – and I haven’t slept with her, doesn’t that make you feel better?” she asked him encouragingly.
“A little, I guess,” he answered glumly. “Wait, you knew about her and Jake?”
“She caught me doing the Walk of Shame,” Shoshanna shrugged.
“Ugh,” Fink complained. “Whatever, just – ugh. Let’s just go to Six Flags. I can’t deal with this right now.”
***
After a delicious pancake breakfast, a long day at Fiesta Texas, and another day at Sea World followed by a third day of touring the Alamo and other tourist attractions nearby, everyone was ready to end the day trips to San Antonio. On Thursday, Fink excitedly dragged everyone to a fancy outlet mall in San Marcos where even Miriam and Jake managed to find clothes they liked, and Friday was just spent walking around Austin. Friday night, their last night in town, they went bar-hopping on Sixth Street.
Jake and Miriam had managed to go the whole week without being hit on, which meant there had been no pressing need for them to act like a couple. That night, however, Miriam had traded her Salvation Army jeans, ratty tee shirt, and hoodie for the red silk dress and sparkly silver kitten heels she’d picked up at the outlet mall, and she was getting the eye from half the bar. Attached to her side was Jake, in a pair of fitted dark-wash jeans (no more borrowing Fink’s ‘fat pants’) and a flattering black tee shirt that showed off the muscles in his arms – he’d spent a lot more time at the gym lately to blow off steam from his classes, and it was starting to show. Plenty of women at the bar seemed to notice, too, despite Miriam glaring at them each time one looked his way. The more she drank, the harder she glared – and oh, did she drink, because those girls were making her angry. Jake wasn’t far behind, going through quite a few beers to try and relax – Miriam’s outfit had him riled up, too. By the time they’d gotten back to the loft, Miriam and Jake were spectacularly wasted, laughing uncontrollably and stumbling every few steps.
“Oh, my god, you two – enough! Nothing is funny!” Fink snapped at them as he shut the door to the loft. “I didn’t get a single girl this week! I was supposed to get laid!” He sighed. “I was supposed to get over Libby.”
“Yeah, and I’m in a slump again, too,” Damian complained. “This sucks.”
They both looked up to find themselves alone in the living room – Shoshanna and Terrence had quietly gone to her room, and Jake and Miriam were stumbling into theirs. “This. Sucks,” Damian repeated.
Jake closed the door behind them, tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. “They can’t get laid!” he crowed, nearly falling over.
“I know! And we totally could, because we’re so hot!” Miriam howled, before erupting into another giggle fit. “Man, it’s warm in here,” she said suddenly, wobbling her way over to the bed, where her pajamas lay spread out on the blanket, and started to pull off her dress. Jake abruptly stopped laughing.
“What – what are you doing?” he slurred, his eyes wide as she stood before him in nothing but her undergarments, oblivious.
“Changing, duh,” she snorted, pulling on her tiny pajama shorts and reaching for the clasp on her bra.
“Wait!” Jake blurted, grabbing her hand. “Let me just...I’ll go in the bathroom or something.”
She ignored him, pulling her hand away, and tugged at the clasp. He quickly turned around and silently counted to twenty before sneaking a peek – she was shrugging into the flimsy tank top and giggling her way into the bathroom, presumably to take out her contacts.
“Hey, don’t poke your eye out in there,” he called, bursting into laughter again for no apparent reason as he pulled off his jeans, falling onto the bed. He decided that she was right about it being warm and yanked off his tee shirt, too. Clad in just his boxers, he lay back, his arms crossed behind his head, and let his eyes fall closed.
“Hey,” Miriam whispered, poking his shoulder. He cracked one eye open. “Move over, you’re taking up the whole bed.”
He shifted slightly, barely moving an inch, and she gave a long-suffering sigh. “Fine,” she muttered, crawling onto the bed and flopping down next to him, their sides touching. He closed both eyes again.
“Why did you look away before?” she asked, turning on her side to face him.
“What?” He rolled over, too.
“When I took my clothes off, before,” she slurred, “you went all weird and turned around. Am I...am I that rep-repul-repo-gross to you?”
&nb
sp; “No, of course not,” Jake answered, his mind swimming in a drunken haze. “It’s just – we’re friends. I shouldn’t look at you without your clothes on…right?”
She pouted – a rare thing she only did after a long night of drinking. “You can make out with me, but you can’t see me topless?”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah – yeah, that about covers it. Besides, it’s not like we do that for fun – we’re, like, protecting each other, from being hit on. It’s like a public service.”
She frowned. “Kissing me isn’t fun?”
He shut his eyes again. “That’s not – that’s not what I said,” he tried, wishing he were sober so that he could handle this better. “Of course, it’s fun. But it’s just for pretend.”
Miriam wriggled closer, delving further into his personal space, her eyes wide. “Is it really just ‘pretend’ for you?”
“Is this really the best time to have this conversation?” Jake pleaded. “Because I’m feeling a little bit dizzy. And warm. And sleepy.”
“If we wait to talk about this another time, we’ll never talk about it at all,” she argued. “Now tell me the truth – is it just ‘pretend’ for you?”
Love Thy Roommate Page 17