But that wasn’t the same thing as saying he was on her side, she realized as he bowed courteously and swung up into the curricle again.
As he drove off, she realized that she was not only exhausted but ravenous, so she headed right to the kitchen and let Mrs. Wicker feed her soup, bread, and cheese. That gave her the strength to climb up to her room. Once there, she dropped her reticule in a chair, kicked off her slippers, and settled down to nap. Pregnancy was hard work.
Shadow performed his usual cat magic of appearing to nap with her. She fell asleep with his furry body curled against her, and wondering if it had been worthwhile seeing her parents. She supposed so—but she didn’t want to see them in the future without Kirkland there to defend her.
Kirkland took his time returning the curricle to the livery stable where he’d hired it, then walking back to Laurel’s house. Visiting the senior Herberts had been unsettling. Not only did he hate seeing how badly they behaved to Laurel, but he now understood better why she was so reluctant to resume their marriage. With her parents as an example, it was surprising that she’d been willing to marry at all.
But he and Laurel had been saturated with blind, youthful passions which overcame experience and any claims to good judgment. Now they both knew better, yet even so, he still wanted her rather desperately.
The challenge was to persuade her to feel the same.
Chapter 13
Laurel slept for two solid hours but awoke refreshed. Time to find Violet, so she headed across the garden to Zion House. She found the girl in a corner of the common room demonstrating an elaborate formal hairstyle on one of her four students.
Seeing Laurel approach, Violet said, “Practice on each other now. Pretend you are to be presented to the queen!” Then she turned to Laurel, her expression inquiring. She wore a quietly elegant cream-colored gown that complemented her dark skin and hair. Laurel had bought the garment for her from a rag dealer, and the skill with which Violet had remade it was testimony to her ability as a lady’s maid.
Laurel asked, “How are your students doing?”
“Very well. They’re all keen to better themselves.” Violet regarded the girls fondly. They were all neatly dressed in an echo of their teacher. “It was clever of you to buy all those old clothes from the rag shop so they can practice dressing each other.”
“Those clothes also present myriad opportunities to practice mending!” Laurel studied Violet’s expression. The girl had fit into Zion House easily and was well liked. She was also diligent in training future lady’s’ maids, but there was strain around her eyes. “I expect news of my newly arrived husband has spread through both houses already?”
“Yes, Miss Laurel. Or rather, Mrs. Kirkland.” Violet smiled. “We’re all perishing of curiosity, of course.”
“Of course,” Laurel said, not offering any explanations. “Tomorrow morning I’ll leave for London to spend a month or so there with Kirkland. Would you be willing to come as my lady’s maid?”
The girl’s dark eyes widened. “Oh yes, miss! Ma’am. I would love to leave Bristol and serve you.”
Laurel cocked her head. “You don’t like Bristol?”
Violet bit her lip. “Not that, but several times when I’ve gone out, I’ve been watched, I’m sure of it.”
“You’re very pretty and also exotic looking. Surely men always notice you?”
Violet shook her head. “That is sadly so, but this is different. As I was leaving the market yesterday, I saw a man start after me. I returned to the market and lost myself in the crowd before leaving a different way. He was dressed as a sailor and had a long, curving scar down the left side of his face.” She shuddered. “I’m afraid Captain Hardwick has hired men to steal me back into slavery if they have the chance.”
Having seen Hardwick and his cruel eyes, Laurel didn’t doubt that he might have done exactly that so he could recapture the girl who had escaped him. “You should have told me! Can you be ready to go tomorrow morning?”
“I would leave this minute if it meant safety,” Violet said simply. “I will go now to pack your clothing. Is mending needed? Or alterations? I could do them tonight.”
Laurel made a face. “Don’t worry about the mending. I think my husband will send me to a London modiste for a new wardrobe.”
Violet laughed. “From your expression, I think I will enjoy that more than you.”
“You’re right. I shall rely on you to help me choose what is best for me rather than merely fashionable.”
“You will be easy to dress, ma’am. With your height and figure and coloring you will do me much credit.”
“I hope you’re right,” Laurel said dubiously. The real question was whether she would do her husband credit. Telling herself that modistes would be easier to face than her parents, she took her leave of Violet and went in search of Anne Wilson, the matron of Zion House.
When she found her friend in the linen closet, Anne didn’t even wait for a greeting. Turning with a grin, she said, “Well, my girl! So you’ll be off with your handsome husband now?”
“Does everyone here know my business?” Laurel asked with exasperation.
“Very likely.” Anne, round and kind and capable, had taken refuge at Zion House after fleeing the drunken husband who had almost beaten her to death. She’d been unabashedly glad when he fell from a bridge and drowned on his way home from the pub not long after. Now she ran Zion House with strength and compassion, helping women and their children build new lives.
“I’m leaving in the morning, but I will be back,” Laurel said. “Bristol will always be my home.”
Anne shook her head, unconvinced. “Wait and see, my dear. You’ve been the soul and foundation of Zion House, but I think we’ve reached the point where we can survive without you now. It’s time for you to tend to your own life.” She smiled mischievously. “Mrs. Wicker was most impressed with your husband and she’s a good judge of men.”
“She should be,” Laurel said tartly. “She’s known enough of them. And she has a quick tongue as well.”
“A quick tongue and the lightest hand with pastry in Bristol. You might want to ask her to become Herbert House’s permanent cook and teacher for all kitchen arts. That would remove a major task from your shoulders.”
Anne’s suggestion required no thought at all. “That’s an excellent idea. I’ll ask her if she’d like the position.”
“She’s the one who suggested it to me,” Anne said with a grin.
Laurel laughed and hugged her friend. “I’m going to miss everyone, but most of all, you.”
Anne hugged back hard, and her eyes were bright with tears when they separated. “Whether this remains your home or not, you must come back to visit.”
Remembering Kirkland’s suggestion, Laurel said, “Perhaps you can visit me in London. Would you like that?”
“London!” Anne breathed, her eyes round. “That would be a fair treat! I’ve always wanted to see the city. But now I’ll walk you out. I’m sure you’ve much to do.”
When the two of them reached the foyer at the bottom of the stairs, a tiny girl with scorching red hair darted from a door and ran straight to Laurel, wrapping her arms around Laurel’s knees. “Don’t go, Miss Laurel!”
News traveled very fast indeed. Laurel scooped the little girl up. “I’m not going forever, Missy. I’ll be back in a month and you’ll have grown an inch, I’m sure.”
Missy locked her skinny arms around Laurel’s neck. “Don’t gooooooo!”
Wryly Laurel recognized that she was being manipulated by a master. “I’m sorry, sweeting, but I must leave. I made a promise.”
“Break it,” Missy said firmly.
Laurel thought of her broken marriage vows and suppressed a wince. “We shouldn’t break our promises, Missy.”
“Promise you’ll come back!” The little girl was almost five but looked more like a three-year-old because of the hunger and abuse she’d suffered until her mother took her daughter and ra
n away from her drunkard husband.
“I promise,” Laurel said, thinking this would be one promise easy to keep.
Missy’s mother, Eileen Bailey, entered the foyer. Her hair was a darker version of her daughter’s red and her jaw bore a scar as a reminder of the husband she’d escaped, but now her smile was warm and genuine. “We’ll be missing you, but I wish you happy in your new life.”
“Thank you.” With reluctance, Laurel transferred Missy’s warm, active weight to her mother. Would she have a little girl of her own? She should wish for a boy so Kirkland would have his heir, but a little girl would be sweet to hold and raise.
Anne said, “I think we should hold a little going-away party for you this evening. There are many more who will want to say farewell.”
“I’m not going forever!” Laurel protested again.
“Perhaps not,” Anne said, “but things will change, I’m sure.”
Laurel knew her friend was right. “A party, then, not too elaborate. I leave it to you to organize, but I’d like to see lots of cakes!”
As Missy squealed her approval, Laurel blew her a kiss and left. Because Daniel was away, she stopped by the infirmary before dinner. She knew she wasn’t irreplaceable, but she was finding it difficult to leave the infirmary and Zion House in other hands.
Reminding herself again that she would be back in a month, she crossed the garden to Herbert House. She was surprised to see her brother in his small office outside the examination rooms.
“Daniel!” She stepped into his office. “You’re just back?”
He looked up from his cluttered desk, his face like granite. “I returned half an hour ago, and was immediately informed that you’re leaving for London tomorrow and that Kirkland is staying under my roof.”
Suddenly exasperated, Laurel yanked the door shut behind her. “It’s my roof, if you recall. I’m the one who bought both houses. Actually, I suppose they’re both Kirkland’s since a husband controls all of his wife’s property. His money paid for everything we’ve built here.”
Daniel surged to his feet, his eyes furious. “I’ll move the infirmary elsewhere! Zion House is your responsibility. You can expand into this building with both of us gone.”
Laurel gasped, appalled at the gap that was opening between them. “Daniel, let’s not fight about this! We’ve always been able to settle things by talking them out. Kirkland was your friend once. Why do you act as if I’m being lured into the devil’s own hellfire by attempting a degree of reconciliation?”
Daniel stared at her, and she realized how tired and travel worn he looked. Softening her voice, she said, “Let’s sit down and talk like the loving brother and sister we’ve always been. Please?”
Daniel exhaled roughly and subsided back into his chair. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Laurel. You have the right and perhaps the duty to reconcile with your husband, but you can’t stop me from worrying that he’ll ruin your life again.” He opened the lower-left desk drawer, pulled out a bottle of brandy and a small glass, poured a stiff shot, and drank half of it straight off.
After swallowing, his expression eased. “This is why I’ve never formally turned Methodist. I’m not ready to give up all of my sinful ways.”
“One or two drinks of brandy a month are no great sin.” Laurel moved a pile of papers from the other chair to the floor so she could sit down. “Don’t forget dancing. Remember how much we both enjoyed dancing when we were younger? Neither of us wanted to give that up even though we don’t have many opportunities these days.”
Daniel became very still, and Laurel belatedly remembered that Rose Hiller had been his favorite partner. They’d both loved dancing, and they had looked so beautiful together, moving as if they were two people sharing the same thoughts. She’d never seen Daniel look happier than when he was dancing with Rose.
He must have had similar thoughts because he tilted the glass toward her and said, “May we both have dancing days in the future.”
He finished the brandy and set his glass aside. “Shall we start with you telling me how things went with Kirkland?”
“Nothing as dramatic as you’re imagining.” She thought a moment so she could summarize a complicated relationship quickly. “We both agree that we married too young and that we are now too different to be a conventional married couple again, but he persuaded me that for the sake of our child, we should be on friendly terms.”
“How friendly, or is that none of my business?” Daniel said dryly.
“Friendly enough that our child and I would be able to move freely back and forth between Kirkland’s world and my life here,” she said, ignoring the implication of his words. “To begin, I’ll go to London for a month. Long enough to meet some of his friends and establish a small foothold in his world. Then I’ll return to my real life here. I imagine I’ll visit him once or twice a year. Possibly he’ll visit me in Bristol occasionally, though I’m sure it would be brief since there wouldn’t be much to keep him busy.”
“It’s hard to imagine him living a life of leisure,” Daniel agreed. “As hard as it is to imagine you a fashionable London lady.”
“You’re right about that,” Laurel agreed. “But I do want to know how to fit into his world enough that his friends don’t feel sorry for him for his disastrous mésalliance.”
He snorted. “Anyone who thinks that is a fool.”
“If his friends never met me, how could they think anything else? I’ll do my best to be a modest and worthy countess.” She grinned. “I think I can manage that for a few weeks. Then I’ll return to Bristol and be myself again. Except for having a child, my life won’t be all that different.”
“I think you underestimate how much will change,” Daniel said dourly. “But if you’re sure you want to do this, I can’t stop you.”
“I’m not sure I want to,” she said hesitantly. “But I’ve prayed about it, and I truly believe that attempting reconciliation is the right thing to do.”
“Then there is nothing more to be said.” He gave her his warm, charming smile. “You know I want only the best for you. And if that’s Kirkland—well, I’ll be happy for both of you.”
Laurel felt something inside ease. She and Daniel had been so close for years, sharing the same goals, working side by side, that his disapproval about Kirkland had hurt. “He and I were very adult about it all. I think we can be friends and parents together.”
“I hope so.” Daniel’s brows drew together. “I almost forgot. Rumor has it that this morning you and Kirkland paid a visit to Belmond. How did that go?”
Her tension returned. “Our parents welcomed Kirkland and condemned me; Kirkland insisted that all blame was his and defended me, we had tea and came home.”
He frowned. “How did they condemn you?”
She sighed. “I’m an undutiful wife, I’ve corrupted you from the gentlemanly life you should be living, and I don’t know how to dress. About what I expected.”
Daniel muttered a very un-vicarly word under his breath. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that, but I give Kirkland credit for defending you. I’m sure they’ll be more welcoming once they get over the shock.”
“One can hope,” Laurel said dryly.
“They aren’t the easiest of parents,” he admitted. “But I’m glad you called on them. It’s not good to be estranged from family.”
“Which includes husbands. I shall hope that soon I’ll be on good terms with everyone in my life.” Feeling tired again, Laurel got to her feet. “Anne Wilson wants to have a sort of good-bye party at Zion House this evening. I hope you’ll come? I think our little community will be worried if they think you and I are at odds with each other.”
“Barring a medical emergency, I’ll be there,” he promised. “Will Kirkland attend?”
“I’m not sure. He hasn’t heard about it yet, but he’ll be back here soon. He did express a desire to meet my friends and coworkers.”
Daniel nodded. “He and I can practice being civil to
each other.”
“Civility is our goal.” Laurel left, hoping that her brother and her husband could become friends again. Friendship was too precious to waste.
Chapter 14
Kirkland was playing the piano softly and wondering if Laurel would appear so they could dine together, when she bustled into the music room, face flushed and her hair showing considerable independence. She looked so charming that he had to force himself not to cross the room and embrace her.
He rose, keeping the piano safely between them. “You look as if you’ve been very busy. If you have too much to do, we can delay another day.” He liked referring to the two of them as “we.”
She shook her head. “Staying longer would be an anticlimax when everyone is saying good-bye. Speaking of which, there will be an informal going-away party tonight at Zion House. Do you wish to attend?”
“Of course.” He smiled a little. “Your friends need to see that I don’t have horns, hooves, and a pointed tail. By the way, I heard that Daniel has returned.”
“I just spoke with him, and he’s also choosing civility. He’ll be there tonight if he isn’t called out on an emergency.” She smiled ruefully. “He still has some doubts about my sanity, but he does wish us well.”
“I’m glad.” Hesitantly, since he wasn’t used to showing emotion, he added, “I hope that someday he and I can be friends again.”
“I hope so, too.” She tucked a tendril of bronze hair behind her ear. Her elegant, delectable ear . . . “Violet is willing to see if she can make me fashionable in London.”
He nodded. “You have countenance, which is even better than fashion, but it will be good to have a familiar face near you.”
“I thought the same thing.” Laurel’s expression turned serious. “She thinks that Captain Hardwick has men watching her, with the goal of abducting her.”
Kirkland frowned. “He’s capable of that. She’ll be safer in London.”
“She and I can discover the city together,” Laurel observed. “Shall we go down to supper, my lord? It will be a light meal because of the party. Mrs. Wicker wouldn’t let me in the kitchen, so she must be making something special.”
Not Quite a Wife Page 9