I knew exactly what he felt like as he slid inside of me, grasping my hips as he whispered, “I’m going to cum in you.”
I feel myself flush – so hot...
And Borden’s gaze zeros in on me.
Like he knows exactly what I’m thinking.
As Tyler finishes his presentation, silence descends in the room for a few long seconds as Borden’s eyes stay riveted on me.
“Cass hasn’t spoken once during your presentation, but yet she’s the head of my PR. I’d like to hear from her directly on these ideas you’ve presented Tyler,” I hear him murmur, his gaze intent, taunting me.
I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. I realize everyone is staring at me, waiting, but yet I can’t seem to form the words to speak.
In a mocking tone, Borden interjects, “Tell you what. I have another appointment that I need to get to. Why don’t we have dinner tonight, Cass, and you can tell me all about your ideas then.” A jeering smile widens across his face as he continues, taunting me, “I think maybe you’re a little star struck right now.”
When did he become such an ass, - I silently wonder as he taunts me with that last line.
“That’s a great idea. We’re both available for dinner this evening,” I hear Tyler interject anxiously.
Borden’s eyes hold mine as he replies evenly - firmly, “I’ve already heard your ideas, Tyler. I want to hear what my head account manager has to say. I don’t need you there.”
Shocked, my eyes fly to Tyler’s and I can see surprise clearly displayed across his face. But he recovers quickly as he replies uneasily, “Sure, whatever you want.”
My eyes fly back to Borden as he asks softly, “How about 7pm at Gracie’s?”
Not knowing what to do and definitely not wanting a scene, I nod my head, remaining incapable of using my voice.
Borden holds my eyes a few more minutes before he rises and turns his attention to Marty and then back to Tyler. After shaking both of their hands, he glances at me one more time before finally leaving, and his obvious choice to not shake my hand hangs heavy in the room. Silence descends awkwardly, and Marty quickly gathers his items before excusing himself, not wanting to be in attendance of what was to come next.
“What the hell was that?” Tyler explodes.
I don’t say anything, I’m still reeling from seeing him again, the one - the only - guy who seemed to reach deep inside me, making me forget myself.
“I didn’t think you were the kind to be star struck. If I’d known, I never would have put you on this account. It’s too important,” Tyler continues angrily.
Finally, I form a thought as I respond in a rough voice, “I’m not star struck.”
Silence, and then Tyler replies heatedly, “You could have fooled me.”
Swallowing thickly, I force out in an even tone, “I’ll smooth everything over tonight.”
Tyler holds my gaze and I almost squirm...almost.
“Are you sure you can handle a one on one meeting after today?” he grinds out between clenched teeth.
Nodding, I hold his gaze. I should tell him, tell him everything right now, but I need a chance to think, to gather a coherent thought – to get my aching heart under control.
“Is there something you’re not telling me?” he asks, his eyes trying to penetrate through to what was going on inside of my head.
If he only knew.
But that one night was a long time ago and if I told Tyler about Borden and me...
The truth is, I’m not sure how to go about telling him or how he would react. Plus, I was still reeling uncontrollably.
I just needed the time to process seeing Borden again.
And my reaction to him.
But Tyler’s gaze is still trying to penetrate through me and I’m not given the desperate reprieve that I need. So, under Ty’s very watchful gaze, my mind continues to spin as I try to grasp with how to deal with this situation along with what to reveal. I know this account is important to Tyler’s growing company. Borden seemed willing to pretend that we didn’t know each other. Maybe it’s best for everyone if I kept my mouth shut as well and just go meet with him this evening, one on one, to clear the air.
After all, it had only been one night between us.
A night that meant nothing.
A night that I overthought, making it up to be more than it was.
Then why is a tremor, a hot stroke of heat, lightening through your stomach at just the thought of seeing him...
One on one?
Clearing my throat, forcing myself away from my thoughts and to hold Tyler’s eyes steady, I respond, “No, there isn’t.” The lie burns in my throat.
Holding my eyes a moment longer, Tyler finally relaxes and nods, and then drops my gaze as he turns to leave the conference room.
I’m finally and thankfully alone.
I squeeze my eyes shut, my trembling hand coming out to brace myself against the conference table as I no longer have to pretend that my whole world hadn’t just been shaken and turned upside down.
Chapter 5
Borden
Drumming my fingertips on the tabletop, I wait impatiently.
Where the fuck was she? - I silently fume and glance, once again, at my watch. She was six minutes late.
After arriving half an hour early in my anxiousness to see her, this delay was literally consuming me, as if eating me alive. Every nerve ending in my body is vibrantly alive, making me edgy and angry.
I was ready to tear something - or someone - apart.
If she didn’t show up for our appointment, it wouldn’t stop me from seeking her out.
Nothing would.
Now that I knew where she was, nothing was going to prevent me from finding out why she had ditched me, like that night never meant anything, especially since that night had completely changed my life. I’d felt that we had something when I’d left her condo that night and I knew she also felt it too.
The hell that I’d went through, the fight that I’d had with my drug addiction...
It had all been because of her.
I feel my anger rise even more as I glance at my watch again and clench my fists.
Seven minutes...
For weeks after that night with Cass, I’d tried calling her every spare moment that I had. She’d never picked up the phone, never told me what I’d done to not even give me the decency to call me back. The same went for the multiple texts I’d sent.
Every single one of them went unanswered.
Not willing to give up, as soon as I’d returned to LA a year later after the tour, I’d immediately went to her condo. There was no way I could be in the same city as her and stay away. I couldn’t, for some reason, let that night go - let her go, so easily.
But my trip turned out to be a waste.
She’d moved out, several months before, leaving no forwarding address.
I had walked away that day so very angry.
Angry that she’d dismissed me so easily when I’d thought about her constantly on my tour. I had, obviously, not clearly understood what she had felt in return for me that night. I’d stupidly thought there was something between us, a deeper connection that I’d never felt with anyone else.
But she hadn’t felt the same...
And yet she still haunted me.
Even to this day...- my heart gives a painful lurch in my chest.
It’s why I turned to drugs in the hope of forgetting about her.
But the memory of her had kept calling my name.
Staring at my impatient fingers that have gone back to drumming on the table top, I purposely still them. I shouldn’t be as angry as I am right now. After all, what we had been had just turned out to be one stupid night that I’d overblown in my mind. There had been no promises, no plans for the future. Hell, she didn’t even know who I was then.
But still, I can’t help the anger. Because she’d duped me, made me think of her, wonder about her and what could have
been if I hadn’t left that night.
Seeing her today, even after all this time, I’d wanted to reach out and yank her to me, to taste those lips again, to see if they tasted the same as I remember. To see if her lips felt the same as the ones that haunted my dreams. Since that night, I’d looked for her in every woman that I met, hoping they had some small ounce of Cass in them so I could experience that deep, unexplainable, unavoidable pull that I’d only felt with her.
Now I wanted to know if the memories she’d left me with were true, that perhaps I’d made her, and what we had, to be much more in my mind than what it was in reality. I also wanted answers as to why she never even gave me the decency of a return text or phone call telling me to fuck off instead of leaving me hanging, wondering what I’d done.
Finally, I see her as I crane my neck – not for the first time since I arrived here – to check the host stand. With another painful lurch of my heart, I watch as her lips form the words of my name and I struggle within myself with wanting to go to her even as I feel my anger rise another notch. But I force myself to remain in my chair as the host responds to her and gestures for her to follow him to the table I had specifically reserved for us. I’d been reassured over the phone that this table, tucked away in the corner of one of LA’s busiest restaurants, secluded by curtains draped from the floor to ceiling, would give me the privacy necessary for a heated conversation.
Because what I have to say to her will not be said civilly.
I was too angry for a civil conversation.
Her eyes connect with mine as she follows the host to where I’m sitting, and I see her step falter before she squares her shoulders, bracing herself for this upcoming meeting.
Good, she knows I’m angry, - I silently seethe even as my hands start to shake with her impending nearness. Standing, I continue to hold her eyes as I move behind her chair to pull it out for her.
“Your table, miss,” the host says politely, gesturing to where I’m standing waiting for her to sit, before quickly excusing himself.
She pauses for a moment, glancing around, taking in our seclusion and I see hesitation cross her face.
“Make no mistake, we are going to talk. Whether it’s here, surrounded by people just on the other side of these curtains or I chase you to the street outside, it’s happening,” I murmur.
She hesitates for a moment longer, causing me to grasp the chair back tighter in my hands, feeling as if I will tear it apart if she walks away from me...
I watch the indecision play across her face but then, finally, she decides to stay as she moves to where I’m waiting impatiently, holding her chair out.
As she bends to sit, my eyes become riveted on her ass as the soft silken short black dress she is wearing outlines it perfectly.
Instantly, my mind flitters back to that night – now taunting me – as I remember that I’d once guided the tip of my cock over each of those flawless globes. Her scent, still the same from that one night, fills my nose and my cock rises quickly to full attention. I realize my hands are trembling as I slide her chair beneath her and I remember exactly how that ass felt cupped in my hands. When she’s settled, it’s my turn to take a moment to close my eyes, allowing her scent to absorb into my body completely.
God, she still smells the same.
Opening my eyes, I look at the back of her head, the elegant slope of her neck which is exposed by her high messy bun, wondering what it is about her - this particular woman - that hypnotizes me so completely.
Forcefully prying my hands away from her chair, I move back to mine and sit. I don’t say anything, only stare at the face that had never quite receded from my memory, even after five years. I let my hungry eyes rove over her perfectly formed lips, remembering how they tasted, still wanting desperately to know if they tasted the same.
I move my eyes up to hers and both of us hold each other’s stare.
My angel from the park, - my mind, my body and my heart all seem to silently whisper as I feel my soul connecting with hers just by simply gazing at her.
My anger fades.
I can’t help myself as I reach out my hand to take hers that she had rested on the table in an attempt, I’m pretty sure, to steady herself.
I swallow thickly as I finally feel her skin again and rub my thumb over her beating pulse.
The only pulse in this world that I wanted each beat to beat only for me.
“Why didn’t you ever call me back?” I whisper roughly and I know my heart is in my eyes as I ask this question.
Surprise enters her eyes, and then I see a sheen of tears as she replies in a whisper, “I was in a car accident the next day. My phone and wallet were never found. I didn’t even know you had tried calling...” Shock slips through me and then worry as I continue to hold her eyes, seeing the honesty and truth there. But then she sends my heart beat racing, close to its threshold, as she admits softly, “But I’d hoped you did.”
My head along with my heart doesn’t know how to deal with all of this, so I find myself asking stupidly, “Are you okay?”
She smiles softly at me, causing my stomach to feel as if it has been kicked, as she replies in a gentle tone, “I’m here, aren’t I?” I squeeze her hand, so very grateful that she is. My stomach bottoms out at just the thought of her no longer existing. She loses her smile as she continues, “I spent a few weeks in the hospital because of a concussion and broken ribs. I had to move in with my parents until I recovered enough to be on my own and they sublet my apartment. By the time I finally felt up to getting my replacement credit cards and ID to be able to replace my phone, they had given away my number and cancelled my account due to late payments. Alexa, a friend of mine that I met in hospital who was single and pregnant, needed to find a place to stay. I ended up letting the sub-leasers stay until the lease ran out and I rented a larger condo with her.”
Immediately, I feel the tension in my body release.
She hadn’t avoided me.
My memory flows back, to the empty feeling I’d felt when I’d forced myself to realize that she never was going to call me back. After several weeks when she hadn’t returned any of my calls or texts, I’d called her with a heavy heart, wanting to leave a message that I got the point and that I wouldn’t call her again. But the recorded voice had told me that the number was no longer in service. I remember as I ended the call, that I’d held the phone in my hand for a long time after, willing it to ring, for it to be her. That it had been just a stupid misdial on my part.
My heart aches in my chest.
The feeling of letting her go that day rushes back, overwhelming me.
It had hurt so damn much.
It still hurts, - I admit silently.
I’ve felt so lost since that night, like I’ve been silently searching for what we had ever since. I want to ask her if she felt the same, if she still somehow had any sort of feelings for me but a lot of time has passed, and both of our lives have changed.
I drop my eyes to our hands and I continue to rub her pulse, cursing fate.
Loving how her skins feels...
How her hand looks so perfect in mine.
Bringing my eyes back up to hers, my earlier intentions of exploding at her in anger are completely gone, leaving me floundering as to what to say.
How to begin...
How to keep myself from asking her if she feels any of these intense emotions that I’m feeling.
That I’ve never stopped feeling.
Finally, clearly my aching throat with a swallow, I ask, my voice rough with emotions, “So...how have you been since the accident? Bring me up to speed on your life.”
I watch her lips as they turn up, my own burning to touch them, as her expression changes back to a small smile before she replies, “I’ve been good. I worked a lot, concentrated on my career and moved from advertising into the public relations business. I’m still working on advancing up the totem pole. I landed some pretty successful accounts as an advertising executive and
I met Ty...” she pauses for a moment, swallowing, averting her eyes from mine for a moment, making me wonder for a moment what it is she is struggling to tell me, before bringing them back up to mine as she continues, “at a conference. We chatted and once he found out about my accomplishments, he asked me to join his company.” She pauses again before she asks lightly, “I’m guessing you were part of the band that played that Halloween night?”
Smiling softly, like a man in love, I reply, “Yeah. We’d just made it to the top of the charts a few months prior. It was overwhelming for me to go from being no one to suddenly being recognized by someone everywhere I went. I struggled with dealing with it.” I pause as I hold her eyes, squeezing her hand tightly while swallowing a large lump in my throat, I feel her return my squeeze as I finish in a whisper, “I couldn’t believe my good fortune meeting someone like you that night. I’ve never forgotten what it was like being with you.”
I watch as her eyes close for a moment, and then when she opens them again, I see only the truth as she admits in a whisper, “I’ve never forgotten it either.”
I hold her eyes, wanting to pull her from her chair, around the table and onto my lap.
But I can’t.
I have someone in my life that deserves better which prevents me from doing just that.
While I’d lost part of myself to the girl sitting across from me, another woman had found me and helped patch me back together. I already feel like I’m cheating, sitting here holding Cass’s hand, wishing that our lives had worked out differently.
That we were actually here together...
Like lovers.
“Borden...” she says softly, and hearing my name on her lips is like a flaming, hot poker to my heart. I watch as she sighs, her body quivering slightly at the intensity flowing between us.
“Are you with anyone now?” I ask quietly, my heart racing, tripping in its beat as I wait for her answer. It shouldn’t matter...
But it does, - I silently war within myself.
She nods her head and my heart sinks. Even though I’m seriously involved with someone else, I couldn’t stop the silent hope deep down that she was available. What I would have done if she was, I wasn’t sure.
Book Two: Inescapable, #2 Page 5