by Force, Marie
“If you’re there, my whole life isn’t here.”
“Noah…”
“See what I mean? Not the right time for this.”
“Yes, it is. It’s the perfect time to remind me that the past doesn’t define me.”
“It doesn’t. You’re amazing, and I just want to be with you. If you need to be in Boston, then that’s what we’ll do. If you want me there, that is.”
“Yes,” she said on a long exhale, “I want you there, Noah. I want you here, there, everywhere.”
As he reached for her and wrapped his arms around her, he was overwhelmed with relief to know there’d be more. There might be upheaval and big decisions to be made, but he’d put her on notice that he didn’t want her to get away. “I didn’t want anything like this, ever again. I was quite determined to avoid it until this sexy, infuriating architect showed up and made herself essential to me.”
“I’m essential to you?”
“Hell yes,” he said, kissing her. “You make me not want to be a cranky loner anymore. You make me want to rejoin my family and live fully again instead of burrowing into my misery. Do you have any idea how miraculous that is when I honestly believed I was going to live that way for the rest of my life?”
“You have too much to give to live like that. I wish you could see how your sisters look at you with so much love and admiration. They’re so happy to have you back.”
“How do you know?”
“They told me. Every one of them has said something about it this week. That they’ve missed you and hurt for you and wanted to help but didn’t know how.”
“They’re delightful, even if they drive me bonkers sometimes.”
“They love you.”
“And I love them.” He linked their fingers and looked down at their joined hands. “There’s just one other thing I have to say about all these big things we’re talking about.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s the biggest of big things.”
“Okay…”
“If we do this, if we make some sort of commitment to each other, I need to be certain we’re both in it for keeps. I can’t go through what I did before again, and I’m sure you feel the same way.”
“I do, but I’m not sure I’m ready to say this is it for the rest of my life. After everything that’s happened, I don’t trust my judgment the way I used to. And while I know you’re nothing at all like him, I thought he was perfect for a long time. Until I realized how wrong I was about that, and now…”
“Now you don’t know what to believe.”
“Something like that.”
“I get it. All I can do is continue to prove you can trust me with the hope that maybe, at some point, you might decide to believe in me.”
“I already do. I just need to be sure I’m not making another bad decision.”
“The good news is we have a few weeks left before you head home, and that gives us plenty of time to spend together to get to know each other.” It would also give him time to show her he was just what she needed. How he would do that, he wasn’t quite sure yet, but he’d wage a campaign to keep her in his life if that’s what it took.
* * *
Brianna snuggled up to Noah in bed. He was always so warm, like her own personal heating pad, and during a Vermont winter, that was a nice thing to have. He’d been so sweet earlier, telling her he’d move to Boston if that would keep them together after she had to leave.
She was beginning to wonder if she wanted to leave. Her life in Boston had changed dramatically after her marriage ended. Everywhere she looked was a painful memory of something she’d done with Rem, back before she knew their entire relationship was a big lie. The friends who’d been so supportive of her when things first went bad with him had continued with their lives, their marriages, their children, while she had to wonder how her life had gone so wrong.
Her cousin, Dominique, was the only one there she’d truly miss if she didn’t go back, but Dom was so busy with her own life and family that they rarely saw each other.
Adding to her woes in Boston were the always-fighting brothers she worked for who made each day so stressful that she’d jumped at the chance to work in Vermont—primarily outside in the winter—just to get away from them for a few months. She’d been thinking about looking for a new job long before the inn project had bought her a reprieve. If she went back, she didn’t want to return to that firm.
If she went back…
Since when was that even a question?
She smiled in the dark. It’d become a question when Noah told her he wanted her in his life, but only if she was there to stay.
Of course, she understood why he’d want those assurances. Neither of them ever again wanted to be in the place they’d been before, but Brianna was wise enough now to know that all the assurances in the world didn’t guarantee that things wouldn’t still go sideways.
“What’re you thinking about?” he muttered, his voice hoarse and sleepy sounding.
“You.”
“What about me?”
“The things you said earlier.”
“I don’t want you awake worrying about any of that.”
“I’m not worrying. I’m thinking.”
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I like that you keep me warm at night.”
He tightened his arms around her. “I’ve never liked sleeping like this until you wrapped your sexy self around me, and now I love sleeping wrapped up in you.”
“You didn’t sleep like this with your wife?”
“Nope. She didn’t like anything touching her while she slept.”
Brianna kissed his neck and breathed him in. “That was most definitely her loss.”
“Is that right?” he asked on a low chuckle.
“Oh yeah.” She took a minute to enjoy the warm, safe feeling that came with being wrapped up in him. “I want you to know…”
“What, honey? What do you want me to know?”
“If I were going to have faith in anyone, I’d want to have faith in you.”
“I saw what my father did to his wife and children and vowed as a teenager I’d never be that kind of man, the kind who left and disappointed the people who loved him. I may not be the best guy who ever lived, but I don’t leave when things get hard. If Mel hadn’t done what she did, I never would’ve left her, even if there were things about our marriage that didn’t work for me.”
“Like what?”
“She spent a lot of time with her friends—more time with them than she spent with me. She even traveled with them.”
“Without you?”
“Yep. They didn’t invite me. We did stuff together, too, but it bugged me that she spent so much time with other people, and they seemed to come first with her.”
“Did you ever tell her that?”
“I tried to, but she didn’t want to hear it. They were her ride-or-die girls, and they came first.”
“That’s not fair to you.”
“I knew they were incredibly close before we got married. I just thought our relationship would come first after we got married, but nothing changed. I realized much later, after she was long gone, that I was lonely in our marriage. But I stuck it out because I committed to her. That mattered to me.”
“She didn’t deserve you.”
“No, she didn’t.”
Brianna laughed. “We both deserve better than what we had before.”
“We do, and that’s why I believe that if we were to make a go of this, we’d know how to do it right. We know what not to do.”
“For sure,” she said with a sigh. “I also want you to know that I’d been thinking about making some other changes long before I came up here.”
“Like what?”
“My job, for one thing. I hate it. I work for brothers who do nothing but scream at each other all day long, and I can’t stand it. When they were looking for someone to take this job, I jumped at the
chance to get the hell away from them, even if it was Vermont in the winter, and I hate being cold.”
Noah slid his leg between hers. “But now you know the secret to staying warm in Vermont, and it doesn’t seem so bad, right?”
“Everything about Vermont is different from what I expected.”
“So, move up here and be part of my business.”
Brianna raised her head off his chest. “What?”
“You heard me. I’ve had this idea running around in my mind for a while now, and you’d fit right into it.”
“What idea?”
“The renovation idea. There’re all these great old buildings all over Vermont that would make for unique homes. For instance, my aunt and uncle live in a restored barn that’s the most incredible home I’ve ever seen. You’d have to see it to get the full picture. I’ll take you over there tomorrow.”
“Like Grayson’s place, the restored church, which is amazing.”
“Yes, exactly. I thought it might be a fun niche for the company to buy the places, restore them and then sell them at what I hope would be a huge profit. People are always looking for ski houses up here. I think there’d be a real market for it.”
“That’s the most exciting idea I’ve ever heard.”
He laughed. “That can’t possibly be true.”
“No, it is. It sounds so fun and interesting. My brain is exploding with ideas and thoughts, and well, I think it’s a great idea.”
“Even though I work for myself, there’re so many daily demands from clients that I just get tired of it all. I feel like this way, I could truly work for myself, and I’d want you to be part of it.”
“Really? You’d want to work with me when all we did was fight for weeks when we first worked together?”
“We only fought for weeks because we were both pretending we weren’t attracted.”
“I wasn’t attracted.”
“You’re such a liar!”
Brianna lost it laughing.
“Everything is different now.” He squeezed her ass for emphasis. “We’d be a great team. You’d do the design, and I’d do the work. While I was finishing one project, you could be preparing for the next one.”
“I have goose bumps.”
Noah ran his hand down her arm. “You do.”
“You’ve given me so much to think about.”
“I’m glad you’re thinking about good things rather than things that hurt you.”
With her hand on his face, she turned him to receive her kiss. “Thank you for giving me good things to think about.”
“You’ve done the same for me.”
“I just need a little more time to think. I hope you understand.”
He kissed her. “I understand, and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here when you figure out what you want.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
—Robert Frost
The middle-of-the-night conversation had changed things between them—in a good way. Noah could tell she was giving careful consideration to his idea. They didn’t talk about it again or anything more significant than what they should have for dinner and when would be a good time to visit Izzy, who was now at home with Cabot tending to her every need.
They were bringing dinner to Izzy’s that night, two days after their late-night conversation.
Brianna had made some of her famous lasagna for Izzy, who was curious to try it after hearing about it from her siblings.
When Noah pulled into Izzy’s driveway, he noticed Ray’s truck parked in front of the house. “Mom and Ray are here, too.”
“I made a ton, so there’s plenty if they want to eat with us.”
Noah leaned across the center console to kiss her. “Thanks for cooking for my family again.”
“I love your family.”
That was just another reason for Noah to love her. Mel had often been annoyed by his boisterous family, who were always asking them to do something. She usually had something else she’d rather be doing when he spent time with his immediate family and his Abbott cousins. “Too many people,” she’d say, dismissing whatever invitation they’d received.
“I’m glad you love them,” Noah said to Brianna. “Let me come around to help you carry that.”
He circled the truck and opened the passenger door to take the heavy pan from her. After she retrieved another bag from behind the seat, she followed him up the walkway to Izzy’s adorable Craftsman-style house.
“I love this house.”
“She does, too. She did most of the work herself with a little help from her contractor brother. It took years.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“I agree. She did a great job.” The house was painted white with bright red trim that Noah had thought would look silly. But Izzy had been determined to go with the red, and he’d later had to admit it was perfect. In the summer, the porch was full of potted plants and comfortable furniture that he usually helped his sister move to the basement for the winter.
Cabot met them at the door and held it open for them to pass through with the food. “Something smells delicious.”
“It’s Brianna’s famous lasagna,” Noah said.
“I’ve been thinking about that all day,” Cabot said.
“How’s the patient?”
“She’s much better today,” Hannah said. “She even took a shower without any help. I was here on standby in case she needed me.”
“Stay for dinner,” Noah said. “Brianna made a ton.”
“We don’t want to crash your party,” Hannah said.
“Don’t be silly,” Noah said. “We’d love to have you.”
His mother gave him a curious look, but before he could ask her what was up, Brianna needed him to show her how to work Izzy’s fancy oven. Since he’d helped her install it and figure out how to use it, he was able to show Brianna.
“That’s her pride and joy,” Hannah said of the restaurant-quality oven and gas stove.
“After her cameras,” Noah added.
“Are you guys talking about me?” Izzy asked as she came into the kitchen, moving slowly but looking better than she had.
Cabot was ready with a chair for her and an arm to hold as she lowered herself to sit in what seemed like a well-practiced routine.
Noah was intrigued by the way Cabot doted on his sister. He caught Izzy’s eye, raised a brow, and she shrugged as if she didn’t know any more than he did about what was going on with Cabot.
Brianna put a plate in front of Izzy with lasagna, salad and garlic bread.
“This looks fantastic,” Izzy said. “Thank you. Everyone has brought the yummiest food. I’m going to be nine hundred pounds by the time I can move normally again.”
“You need to relax and let your body heal,” Hannah said as she brought her plate and Ray’s to the table.
“That’s easier said than done,” Izzy said, frowning. “Being out of work is going to put me in a bind. The downside of self-employment. There’s no one to fill in for me.”
“You can file for disability,” Hannah said.
“That’ll take a while to kick in,” Izzy said.
“I’ll take care of whatever you need,” Cabot said. “Don’t worry about anything.”
“You’re not paying my bills, Cabot,” Izzy said. “But it’s sweet of you to offer.”
“Why not? You need it. I have it. No big deal. Now eat your dinner, and we’ll have that fight later.”
She gave him a withering look that had helped to keep their younger siblings in line. Izzy could be scary when she wanted to be—not to Noah as the older and wiser brother, but to the younger ones for sure. They did what she told them to, and she’d been a huge help to their mother when the “kids,” as they called them, became teens.
Cabot had no idea what he was in for after they left.
The thought of Izzy handing him his ass made Noah
smile. He was so very thankful she’d survived the awful accident.
When the doorbell rang at the back door, Brianna got up to see who it was. “Come in, Gray.”
“Sorry to interrupt your dinner,” Grayson said, his gaze finding Noah.
“Everything okay?” Noah asked his brother.
“Could I speak to you in private?” Gray asked.
“What’s going on, Grayson?” Hannah asked.
“I just… I need a minute with Noah.”
Noah got up from the table and led the way into the living room.
Grayson followed him.
“Noah,” he said in a low tone so only Noah could hear him, “we found Melinda where you thought she’d be.”
“Not surprised. That’s where she grew up.”
“There’s more.”
“What?”
“There’s a child—a boy. The investigator said he’s about two to three. He took photos from a distance.”
Noah’s entire body had gone cold. “What the fuck are you saying, Gray?”
“Look, we can’t prove anything with photos from a distance—”
“What the fuck are you saying?”
“He looks like you, Noah.” Grayson showed him a photo on his phone, and right away, Noah could see the resemblance to a picture of himself that hung in the hallway at his mother’s house.
The entire world tilted, and it was all he could do to remain standing. This could not be happening. She wouldn’t.
And then he was screaming, oblivious to his mother, Ray, Cabot, Izzy and Brianna, all of whom came into the room and looked on with alarm.
“Noah, my God,” Hannah said. “What is it?”
“I’m going to fucking kill her!”
Grayson held on to him so tightly that Noah couldn’t move. He could only scream at the top of his lungs. It was the only thing he could do to keep from bawling his head off. How could she have done this to him? How? Once upon a time, she’d told him she’d love him forever.
When the tears came, he pulled loose from his brother’s grasp and sank to the sofa, face buried in his hands.
Gray sat on one side, Brianna on the other. He knew she was there because he could smell the fresh scent of her hair.