Alonzo DeMartini was the store manager and probably one of the nicest people I had ever met. When we worked late, he allowed me to vent. I shared a few things with him after he hounded and asked why I was so sad all the time and the reason behind my clothes being two sizes too big. In the beginning, I ignored him, being that he was a 19-year old stranger and knew nothing about me. Boy was I wrong, because he saw right through me.
“Hey, new girl, I think I know why you wear your mother’s clothes to school.”
Looking down at the natural stone-colored ceramic tile flooring, I snapped, “My name is Candice, and you do not know me. I just work for you and that is all. Oh, and for the record, I do not wear my mother’s clothes to school. How would you know anyway? I have on a uniform.”
“You don’t wear it to work. That’s how I know. What or who are you hiding from? Are you in the witness protection program?”
Laughing uncontrollably, I managed to reply, “Why are you so crazy?”
“I am a little crazy. But seriously, I just wanted to try to lighten you up and make you smile. You have a beautiful smile. Why do you constantly cover it up with a frown? Life can’t be that bad for you.”
“You have no idea what my life is like, so save it and thanks for the laugh.”
“Look, if you’re going to be working late with me on Thursdays, we need to be able to get along and not work with so much tension. You’re entirely too young to be walking around upset and down all the time. Life hasn’t even hit you yet. I don’t get it.”
“Life hit me the day I was born. Do you not see the way I look?”
“No, because you are in hiding, remember?”
“To be so old you’re never serious. Why is that?”
“There’s a time and a place for everything, and life is too short to walk around miserable. I am not where I want to be in life yet, but I am going to make it my business to be happy until I get there. Tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us.”
“You have a point, but my life is nothing like yours, so that’s a little hard for me to do.”
“Life is what you make it. I think if you spend some of those King dollars in your paycheck on some clothes that fit, take that thing out of your head, and let your hair down, you might see things differently.”
“Clothes and taking my hair down will not change my appearance. I was born this way, so thanks, but no thanks.”
“You were born beautiful and will grow into a gorgeous woman. What mirror have you been looking in? You must not see what I see.”
Wow, that is the first time in my life anyone has ever called me beautiful. He thinks I’m beautiful? How is that? He is tall with bronze skin that is a shade or two lighter than I am. With black hair combed back and a muscular build, he is a ladies’ man, no doubt. I can’t believe he of all people said I am beautiful and gorgeous in the same sentence.
“Where did you just go? Hello? Candice?”
“Oh, I am sorry. I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
“Well, no one has ever said those things about me, and it kind of made me feel weird, but thank you.”
“You have got to be kidding me. All the little boys in school must chase after you all the time.”
“I don’t pay them any attention. Some of them make fun of me, and others are nice. I am in school to learn. I don’t have time for hang-ups. I was born with one and don’t need any added to it.”
“Hang-ups?”
“It’s a long story that I really don’t want to talk about it. We’re supposed to be working anyway.”
“We’re done, so talk to me.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Come into the office for a minute. Let me show you something.”
After I followed him into the jumble of organized chaos that included stacks and piles of papers that littered the surface of a desk, he closed the door behind me. Out of reflex, I reached for the doorknob in fear, because I didn’t understand why he closed the door.
“Relax, I just want to show you what’s behind the door,” he reassured me, pointing to a full-length mirror. “Do you see what I see?”
Looking down at the floor, I responded, “Yeah, a mutt named Candice.”
“Sweetheart, you are far from a mutt. I don’t know what poison is being shoved down your throat, but the person I see in that mirror is one hot babe with big-ass clothes on. You even managed to get a uniform twelve sizes too big,” he mentioned, lifting my chin for me to get a better look at myself through his eyes.
With tears bombarding my tan skin, and trembling lips, I cried, “Mother says I am a disgrace and she is ashamed of me. I didn’t mean to be born this way.”
“You have no control over how you are born, and your mother is out of her mind. She is probably upset because you’re so much hotter than her. No offense.”
Before I realized what was going on, he was kissing me on the back of my neck, and I was beginning to get this tingling feeling between my legs. Hypnotized from the feeling of his lips, I slipped deeper into his trance as he cupped my perky 32C-cup breast. Without notice, he slid his hand into my sacred place. A soft moan escaped my lips from his touch. It was so loud that hearing myself startled me.
“Oh, my God, what are we doing?” I pushed him off me.
“I will stop if you really want me to, but from the feel of things, you want me as much as I want you. Let me make you feel like the beautiful woman you are.” He pulled me closer.
“I am fifteen years old. I am far from a woman.”
“Why don’t you allow me to be the judge of that?” he seduced, raising my shirt above my head.
* * *
It had been a year now that Alonzo and I had been having a secret, romantic interlude, and I loved every minute of it. I was so in love with Alonzo that I couldn’t wait to go into work. There were times when I’d go up to the job on my days off without Mother knowing, just so I could see him. At times, he would brush me off and act as if he didn’t have a connection with me. He’d camouflage his actions, saying it wouldn’t look good for him if it was known that we were dating.
We had been doing this for so long that Alonzo no longer wore protection. That may not have been a great idea, because I hadn’t had my menstrual cycle roll through for two months. The smell of greasy food made me vomit when I walked through Burger King’s doors. I was in the bathroom with tears streaming down my face, and my body was shivering like I didn’t know what, when the sound of Alonzo’s voice startled me.
“Candice, are you in there?” Alonzo asked from the other side of the bathroom door.
“Yes. I will be out in a minute.”
“Just come to the door. I have something for you.”
Pulling myself off the floor, I made my way to the door and opened it. Despite the weak feeling plaguing my body from the upchucking, a smile danced across my face instantly as our eyes locked.
“Here, take this. I picked up a pregnancy test. Go back in there and see what it says.”
“I am so scared, Alonzo. Mother will be so disappointed in me. She thinks I am at work right now and I am up here taking a test to see if I am pregnant.”
“Just go and take the test please.”
Sitting there with my eyes shut tight, waiting to see the results, was driving me insane. It felt like I had been in there for hours, but it had only been a few minutes. I was so afraid to look down. Taking in all the air around me, I worked up the neve and opened my eyes to confirm what I already knew. I was sixteen and pregnant.
“What’s going on in there?”
“I am right here.” I opened the door.
Seeing my tearstained face, Alonzo knew the results. I could see it in his eyes. He looked so hurt at the moment. Without saying a word, he grabbed my hand and escorted me into his office.
Closing the door behind him, he begged, “I need you to do me a favor. No one can know I am the father of this baby. I will be disowned from my family if they find out.”
> This can’t be happening right now. My body trembled as my mother’s words haunted me. Was she right?
“I promise to help you out with whatever you need, but you cannot tell anyone that I am the father. Unless we plan to get rid of it.”
“I cannot kill a baby.”
The sudden hollow echo of knuckles rapping on the door startled the both of us.
“Yes, I will be out in a minute!” Alonzo shouted to the person on the other side of the door.
“No problem, boss. Candice’s pops is out front. He said she has a family emergency.”
“I will be right out. I am just picking up my pay.” My heart raced.
* * *
Dad was excited as he drove to the hospital, where mother and my twin sisters awaited his arrival. I knew she didn’t want to see me.
Without question, as soon as we entered the room, her maternal instinct siren went off. “Candice, look at me. What have you gotten yourself into?”
“Nothing, Mother. I was at work.”
“I know that look, and I also know you. Your breasts are all swollen, and you’re glowing. Are you pregnant, little girl?”
I couldn’t even muster up the words to respond. My tears relayed to her everything she needed to hear.
“Dale, your daughter is in trouble. I told you she was acting different and smelling herself.”
“Please calm down, Camilla. We were kids once and have made our share of mistakes along the way as well.”
“You cannot be serious. We have two additional mouths to feed. We can’t afford another baby.”
“What do you suggest? We just throw her away like trash, Camilla? She is our child, and we have to do right by her.”
“Who is the father, Candice?”
“I am not sure, Mother.” Alonzo was the only person who really loved me. I couldn’t let him down. Mother couldn’t know his identity. I just couldn’t tell her.
“What do you mean you’re not sure? How is that possible?”
“I don’t remember his name. It only happened one time.”
“That’s it. I am not about to raise another bastard child.”
“Bastard child? What are you saying, Camilla?”
“I am sorry, Dale. I didn’t mean it like that. It came out the wrong way.”
She meant it, Dad. She meant it. Don’t believe her, I screamed within.
“There’s this place in Connecticut. Hope House is the name of it. Alesia’s family donates supplies and Christmas presents to them every year. They help teens who end up in these types of situations. I will see if they can take Candice in,” she continued.
“I don’t think that is the answer, Camilla.”
“Dale, she will be with girls who can relate. This will be hard on all of us. However, I believe it will be the best thing for Candice and the baby. It’s not about us and our feelings right now, it is about the baby. You know I will be too busy with the twins. Candice cannot do this alone. Besides, you are at work more than you are home,” she said, laying it on thick.
“You have a point,” my dad gave in.
“This is what’s needed. It will be beneficial and will help in many ways.”
I had just lost complete respect for my dad. He was not going to bother trying to defend or help me? How in heaven’s name was sending me away the best thing for me and my baby? Was he going to bother to see how I felt, or was he just going to stand there spineless and allow my mother to have me packed up and shipped off? All from the confines of her hospital bed.
Chapter Three
Memorial: From Bad to Worse
Candice
It was my first official day being at Hope House, which was run by Ms. Nancy, a generous, caring middle-aged Caucasian woman. She and her foster brothers, Paul and Anthony, inherited the camp grounds from their foster parents, Byron and Beverly McGivney. Ms. Nancy started Hope House after being thrown away by her parents for having sex and getting pregnant out of wedlock. Here’s the kicker: she bedded a black man, and her parents wanted nothing to do with her, just like my mom. They just made sure Ms. Nancy didn’t want for anything, as long as she stayed as far away from them as she could. Ms. Nancy ended up staying with an older couple, whom her parents paid to take her in and care for her. They moved her into their home, which happened to have been a former monastery for nuns in the past. Long story short, the couple was a former priest and nun who couldn’t fight the undeniable love that they shared for one another. Father McGivney owned the property and lost all his parishioners and flock after falling in love and getting caught. Luckily for Ms. Nancy, when they passed, the McGivneys left the property and all their prized possessions to her. Being a survivor of abandonment, Ms. Nancy became passionate about helping teen mothers who weren’t as fortunate as she was. Therefore, she renovated the grounds, turning it into a haven by founding Hope House.
Ms. Nancy had just finished screening and processing my intake for my stay here at Hope House. She was the house mom and case manager. Ms. Nancy said she was here to make sure all our needs were met and to prepare us for motherhood. The sound of the word “motherhood” frightened me. I just hoped I didn’t have to do it alone and that Alonzo, my one and only true love, would come and rescue me. On a brighter note, from the looks of things, it appeared to be a really nice place. I’d just have rather spent my every waking moment with Alonzo. I honestly didn’t want to see my parents’ faces. They just gave me away and didn’t care as if I were a stranger or a lost dog.
After my tour of the facility, I would be permitted to make a phone call. Right now, the only voice I wanted and needed to hear was Alonzo’s. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to him or anything. Mother had Ms. Alesia pick me up from the hospital, take me to the house to grab my things, and drive me straight here. It was the longest, most dreadful two-hour ride of my life. My dad wouldn’t even look at me before I left. Without question, my mother kept her face buried in the twins’ faces, cooing. I wished she would have just once looked at me the way she looked at and cooed over her precious twins. I made a vow to myself on the ride over to be the complete opposite to my child. My baby would know that I loved it, no matter what I had to do to prove it.
My new room was much bigger and better than the one I had at home. I could probably fit another bed in it, it was so spacious. There was a huge television, a queen-sized bed with a white headboard trimmed in black, along with a soft pink bed covering with hints of pink, white, black, and silver, and throw pillows to bring it all together. There was also this cool white furry rug that the bed sat on. The walls were a lighter pink with white trimming that had inspirational wall art in black lettering adorned on top of it. The room was beyond beautiful, and all I could do was cry. It was more than I ever had at home with my own mother. Strangers were doing this, which was so bizarre to me.
Before I attempted to get settled, I wanted to give Alonzo a call to let him know where I was. He was probably worried sick about me. I was given $10 in quarters to use the pay phone on the wall in the hall and would be getting $10 every month until my stipend was approved and awarded. I would eventually be awarded a monetary allowance from the State, along with medical insurance as soon as everything was accepted and approved.
Rushing to the phone, I nervously dialed Alonzo’s number before being asked to put seventy-five cents in to make the call. I did as instructed, only to hear the voice recording on the other end inform me that the number I’d reached was no longer in service.
Thinking that I must have dialed the wrong number, I tried four additional times. Humiliation slapped me in the face each time the same message was recited. Alonzo said he loved me. How could he have changed his number without giving me the new one? I called Burger King, and some girl named Monique said he no longer worked there and hung up the phone in my face.
How is this possible? He was just there with me yesterday. Is Mother right? Am I only good on my back? Maybe they found out about us. Yeah, that’s it. They found out about us, I conv
inced myself.
“Candice, please come downstairs to meet the rest of the family,” Ms. Nancy summoned, rescuing me from my thoughts.
As soon as I hit the last step, I was greeted by four huge pregnant girls who were standing beside Ms. Nancy smiling from ear to ear.
“Hello, my name is Nakita. Welcome to Hope House. You’re beautiful,” one of the girls said.
“Thank you, and nice to meet you, Nakita.”
The other three girls, Samantha, Tracy, and Judith, allowed Ms. Nancy to introduce them before they waddled into another room together. Nakita stayed and showed me around a little more as she was making sure to stock up my room with every snack imaginable. She said I would end up thanking her later for it. I hoped she was right, because food and I were currently warring with one another and I seemed to be fighting a losing battle. The one thing that I could do was sleep. I didn’t think I could get enough of it either. I was always so tired. With that, I was calling it a night. All of this had been a bit much to digest all at once.
“Yeah, my life just did a 180 right before my very eyes,” I pondered, closing my eyes as sleep took over.
Just when I got into a sound sleep, I felt a hand nudging me. As I came to and opened my eyes, there was a person standing over me with his finger over his lips, instructing me to remain silent. I couldn’t see his face. He had a mask on, but no clothes. As I motioned to jump up and open my mouth to scream for help, the masked man muffled my mouth and pushed me back onto the bed before threatening, “You can make this easy if you relax and calm down, or this can be one of the worst days of your life. It’s up to you.”
Rather than allowing me to utter a word, he used his knees to spread my legs apart and rammed his penis inside of me.
The Case Manager Page 2