“Ms. Nancy, what are you doing out there?” I stuttered.
“I am just getting back from the hospital with Paul. His partner, Officer Greg, was in a terrible accident. He didn’t make it. Paul is a wreck because of it.” She wiped a tear from her eye. “The real question is, where are you girls going this time of night with that baby?”
“She was fussing so we’re taking a walk to try to calm her down,” Nakita improvised.
“It’s too dark and chilly out there for her. Something could happen to one of you. Besides, she looks sound asleep to me.”
“You’re right, look at that. She’s finally asleep,” Nakita chuckled, glancing at each of us.
From that moment, a new set of terror saturated us. Part of us had a suspicion Ms. Nancy knew what was going on, with the exception of Judith. She was convinced Ms. Nancy didn’t know. What we all could agree on was that Paul and Anthony had something to do with Officer Greg’s “accident.” It was hard for us to believe the brakes on his car mysteriously went out shortly after he was brought in for questioning following a raid that had taken place on his home. An anonymous source phoned that Officer Greg was having relationships with minors. The news reported that in the raid a burner phone was found with pictures of Laura asleep with and without clothes on. That was, in fact, another warning to us from Paul and Anthony. We had made a pact to do whatever we could to keep one another safe until we could get out, even if the four of us had to end up sharing the same room in order to keep ourselves and our babies safe.
* * *
I was now back in my own room because I was having a hard time sleeping and the last thing I wanted to do was keep Princess Adrianna up because of it. Anthony and Paul had not been around lately. I wasn’t sure if it was because Ms. Nancy told them to lie low or what. I didn’t want to think Ms. Nancy could do something or agree to something so horrific. However, it’d been hard for me to trust her. It seemed like every time we felt ill toward her she’d show up with a gift for us, order in, or become suddenly ill. Nakita swore that was just her nature, that she just couldn’t see Ms. Nancy allowing anyone to hurt us. Not even her brothers. She said it just didn’t make sense. I didn’t know what I should or shouldn’t believe. All of the wrestling back and forth was what had been keeping me up at night.
Ms. Nancy purchased a sound soothing machine for me that played water sounds, and she said it was supposed to help me sleep. Nakita gave me her eye mask and instructed me to use both, and she swore they’d helped her. She just had no idea what she did with her sound machine. In any event, I was giving both a try. The soothing sound of water flowing was definitely blocking out all other noises and keeping my brain from wandering. At once, I was starting to feel like a walking corpse as I made my way to my bed. That machine must have had some magic dust in it. How did I get so tired that fast?
“I am not complaining at all,” I mumbled, almost scaring myself as my thoughts escaped my lips.
Pulling the eye mask over my eyes as my head sank into the pillow, I began to feel my body drifting away. The water sounds had me feeling as if I were being carried on the water waves as sleep swallowed me in.
* * *
“Why is this machine so loud?” I asked myself aloud as the sounds pulled me from the best sleep I’d had in a long time.
“So you can stay asleep. Welcome back. We’ve missed you,” Anthony informed me as his hands muzzled my mouth.
“Yeah, you’ve been camping out in that other room for too long,” Paul chimed in.
“Nancy informed us about your attempted stroll in the wee hours of the morning. It’s unfortunate what happened to Officer Greg.” He yanked my bottoms from me.
Tears stung from behind the mask. I couldn’t see them, but I would never forget their voices as long as I lived. There was someone kissing on my neck and feeling me underneath my T-shirt and shorts. I closed my eyes in hopes that I was just having a bad dream, but their actions told me otherwise. They proceeded to sexually assault my mouth and vagina as I lay paralyzed underneath their weight.
The only thing I could do was concentrate on breathing and pray that they didn’t hurt my baby for what felt like hours. I actually had no idea how long it was going on. I was just telling myself, just breathe. Just make sure you can breathe, and you’ll be fine.
“Damn, she might be the best yet,” Anthony praised as I heard them exit the bedroom.
Exhausted, spread thin like wax paper, not wanting to do anything except cry, I lay still, coated in the semen of my assailants. I felt them ejaculate over my entire body as if I were nothing more than a useless piece of nothing. Becoming sick to my stomach, I sprang up into a sitting position and was instantly struck with a blinding headache. Completely sapped of energy, I discharged the best squeal I could muster up in hopes that Nakita would hear me.
“Please,” I sobbed a little above a whisper as I heard the door slam shut. Out of fear, I reached for the blanket to cover my tainted existence.
“What . . .” was all she could get out after witnessing my soiled frame. Nakita began to weep instantly, and I could hear her heartache through the shaking in her voice as my eyes were still shielded.
“I hate them so much. I am so sorry, Candice. I want to send them to their Maker so bad. I hate them,” she sympathized as I felt her trying to remove my eye mask.
Stopping her in her tracks, I placed my hands on top of hers, preventing her from allowing me to see the face of my reality. With tears escaping from behind the mask down my face, I whimpered, “I . . . I just want to stay in the dark.”
“Please, Candice, you cannot sit here like this. Let me get you all cleaned up and put some fresh linen on the bed. Then we can remove the eye mask, all right?”
“I just want to die, Nakita. I’m not built for this. I cannot take it anymore.”
“No, don’t say that. You cannot die because you must live for your baby. She won’t be able to make it into this world without you.”
“Right now, that might not be such a bad thing. This cannot be the way of life for us or our children. It’s like we can’t escape them. They may kill one of us.”
“Please don’t think like that. Please don’t say things like that, because you’ll end up doing something crazy. We will put our heads together and come up with something. We have to.”
“I cannot do this alone. How will I be able to protect my baby if I cannot even take care of myself?”
“We will get through all of it together. Look, you can just move into my room. We will put a dresser in front of the door while we sleep,” she pleaded, removing the mask from my eyes.
That time I didn’t stop her.
Examining Nakita and everything around me, I became frantic. “Please turn that stupid sound machine off. And where is Adrianna?”
“Oh, my goodness, I heard your cry and ran straight in here to you.”
Grabbing the tainted sheet from the bed, I draped it across my body and ran out of the room behind Nakita toward her bedroom.
My heart stopped me in my tracks as we witnessed Paul and Anthony leaving Nakita’s bedroom.
Chapter Eleven
Love: A Mother’s Love
Nakita
What did those bastards do to her? My face burned. An animalistic snarl clawed its way up my throat. “I’m going to kill you!” I fumed, swinging and missing as Anthony grabbed me and slammed me into the wall. I refused to go out without a fight. Kicking my legs in every direction, I repeatedly made sure to connect my foot with his nasty pink limp Vienna-sausage dick. Ms. Nancy shouted for me to calm down, but I refused to hear her until I caught a glimpse of Adrianna in her arms.
Ms. Nancy chastised and corrected me. She wanted me to apologize to those bastards. I was the one who was owed an apology. I didn’t care about them helping move the white dresser I wanted for Adrianna. It was the least they could do.
“Nakita, she was crying on my way up to your room, so I calmed her down. I have no idea what’s come over you
, but this cannot ever happen again if you’re going to stay here. We will not in any way, shape, or form condone harm to anyone here. Not you, the other girls, myself, Adrianna, or my brothers. Is that understood?” she ranted.
“Ye . . . yes, Ms. Nancy. I guess I blacked out for a minute. I apologize.”
“Something happened, and we will get to the bottom of it because it can never show its face here ever again.”
“It’s my fault,” Candice intercepted.
“Candice, you don’t have to do this,” I pleaded.
“It’s all right, Nakita. I had a terrible nightmare, Ms. Nancy, and I think I upset Nakita so much that she panicked when I questioned Adrianna’s whereabouts. We’ve been through so much. Which I am sure you’re awa—”
Cutting me short, Ms. Nancy comforted, “Trust me, girls, I understand. We will be sure to set up some group sessions to channel all of this. Fear has each of you bound. We can overcome this and any fears that might be festering on the inside. The last thing we want to do is transfer these feelings and emotions to these babies as soon as they get here. Group sessions will commence tonight at six p.m. Fear can become extremely dangerous in many ways. Fear alone is one thing. The moment you allow it to take hold of you and grab you by the tail and swing you around, we’re talking a whole other ball game. And it appears that’s the field you’re currently playing on, Nakita.”
“You’re right, Ms. Nancy, and I apologize to you as well as to you, Paul and Anthony.”
“It’s cool,” the brothers grunted in unison.
“All right now, this little princess needs a changing. I will leave you to tend to her,” Ms. Nancy instructed, placing Adrianna in my arms. “Candice, baby, please put some clothes on. You have your business hanging all out, sweetheart,” Ms. Nancy added as she and her brothers departed.
That may have been the scariest moment of my life. I was so frightened for Adrianna. I would have murdered everyone moving if something had happened to her. Please God, don’t let anything have happened to her. I don’t want her to grow up without a mother like I did. After silently and thoroughly examining Adrianna, everything appeared to be fine, thank God.
“She’s good, thank goodness.”
“Yes, thank God, and promise me, no matter what, you will hold up your end of our vow to only leave our babies with each other. Alone is never an option.”
The thought of it freaked me completely out. As I closed my eyes, drops of tears slowly ran down my face as I briefly revisited the buried skeletons in my own closet. The only thing that replayed in the back of my mind was how Mr. Frankie took my innocence away. I was so afraid that the same thing was going to happen to Adrianna.
* * *
While Candice showered, I strapped Adrianna to my body in her baby carrier. Then I headed downstairs to get breakfast and make sure it was all right with Ms. Nancy for us to be excused.
“Are you feeling better?” Ms. Nancy quizzed as soon as I stepped into the kitchen.
“Yes, I am, and again I am so sorry for freaking out like that.”
“It’s fine. We will get past this. You just took me by surprise, because you’ve come such a long way from when you first arrived. I am afraid you might be caught in the middle of a transference of emotions.”
“What do you mean, and what the heck is that?”
“You have been acting as Candice’s counselor, and her fear has managed to transfer itself to you. I am trained for these types of situations, which is why I don’t react or act out of character when something is bothering me after you girls release and unpack your bags on top of me. But you’re not equipped to handle anyone else’s baggage or dirty laundry. Hence, why you lost your ability to maintain control of your emotions a little while ago. However, all is well. Group session will allow us to channel all of those emotions.”
“I had no idea all of that was taking place,” I played along.
“You wouldn’t know, sweetheart. It’s my job to pick up on these things and address them.”
“You’re right about that, Ms. Nancy,” I said in hopes that she’d shut the hell up.
“Anyway, sweetie, enough of that. Would you look at this precious little one fast asleep already?” she cooed, rubbing her hand over Adrianna’s back.
I had prayed time and time again that this old lady was as clueless as I was led to believe she was. I would have to kill her if I were to find out something different. She occasionally possessed the qualities and a love for me identical to Ms. Jeanette. Ms. Nancy’s eagerness to want to help and fix us made it difficult for me to see her in a different light. It was unfortunate she was related to scum like Anthony and Paul.
“All she wanted was her mommy and to be cleaned up.”
“I see.”
“Well, on your way up to put her down, let Candice know breakfast is ready.”
“Speaking of breakfast, would you mind if we ate in the room? Candice is a little shook up. I thought it’d be a good idea to have breakfast upstairs so she can rest and get herself together before group later,” I pressed.
“Great idea. Let me get a tray together for you two.”
Ms. Nancy was so good to us, but I was laughing hard at her on the inside. She fell right into my trap. She was an extremely smart woman. However, she was so dumb. Ms. Nancy’s brain couldn’t function outside of what she’d read in those textbooks. She was so much of a walking, talking diagnosis reader and detector that she couldn’t see shit other than what had been quoted or presented to her in a textbook. In a way, it was sad, because she couldn’t see the truth when it sat at her table for breakfast. Especially the mornings after her brothers personally welcomed the new girls into the family. I wasn’t hysterical the morning after, because I knew I would forever be haunted by the ghost of Mr. Frankie. Those were the cards I’d been dealt. I just had to deal with it. It didn’t matter if he was dead or alive. It was as if he’d put a curse on me. Even though he was not around, I could still feel his presence like dark malice.
* * *
In the middle of my talking to Ms. Nancy, Samantha’s and Judith’s water broke at the same time while they were going in for seconds. Not one contraction or anything, just a water party.
“I’m starving. What took you so long?” Candice questioned as I entered the room.
“Girl, you’re not going to believe this, but Judith’s and Samantha’s water broke. I helped Ms. Nancy get them situated, and I cleaned up after they were out the door.”
“Oh, my goodness, really? I was wondering what all that commotion was downstairs, but I had just stepped out of the shower.”
“Yes. The crazy thing about it is they were minding their business, stuffing their faces, and it was like a waterfall down their swollen legs.”
“That actually sounds gross.”
“Girl, you better embrace it, because you’re not too far behind them. Well, actually Tracy is next in line, and then it will be your turn.”
“Don’t remind me. I am so scared for my baby to be brought back here.”
“Listen, we just had this talk. I promise you we will make this work by sharing the same room and doing whatever it takes to protect ourselves and our babies until we can find a way out of this place.”
“Okay. Now can we please eat?”
“I might need to warm it up a bit. It has to be ice cold by now,” I informed her, running my finger over my plate. “Yeah, just like I thought, it has to be warmed up.”
“At this point, I couldn’t care less. I am going to start biting on furniture if I don’t get some food in me.”
“Please stay away from the furniture, acting like you’re some kind of termite or something,” I chuckled. “I will let you pick on this cold plate while I warm up more food for the both of us.”
* * *
Staring at the microwave caused me to think about Ms. Jeanette. She would always say, “A watched pot doesn’t cook, and neither will that food in the microwave.”
“You thought you’
d get off that easy after putting your hands on me?” Anthony intimidated me, extracting me from my thoughts.
“You had it coming to you,” I mumbled.
“What was that? Did you say, ‘You had this coming’? Is that right?” he threatened, smacking my head into the cabinet above the microwave.
Before I could react, Paul grabbed my arms as Anthony pushed my head closer to the wood-paneled floor with one hand and tore my pajama pants from me with the other. At this point in my life, I was emotionally dead and immune to the pain, so I kept my eyes closed while they took turns forcefully ramming themselves into my backside as if it were my vagina.
After about ten pumps and four thrusts between them both, Paul and Anthony released themselves on my back and left me where I stood, bent over and violated.
“Nakita, are you all right down there?” Candice inquired from the top of the stairs moments after they left.
With bated breath, I answered, “I . . . I’m on my way up now.”
I reluctantly made my way up the stairs with a counterfeit smile printed across my face. I was unsure what I was going to say to Candice. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her all over again. I could take care of myself. I’d be fine.
Taking a deep breath, I opened the bedroom door with my eyes closed.
“Oh, my God, Nakita! What happened to you? Where are your pants?” Candice panicked.
With difficulty, effort, and stress, like the opening of a door grown rusty on its hinges, I forced another smile and pleaded, “Please, Candice, calm down. I am fine.” I had to blink back the tears that were threatening to make themselves present as my eyes landed on my princess.
“You’re not fine. You are bleeding, Nakita.”
Looking down, I wiped my hands between my legs and became alarmed looking at my hands, because I didn’t see anything close to blood.
“Not there, Nakita, your head. Did those monsters do this to you?”
“Please stop crying and screaming, before you wake Adrianna. I told you I am fine. I’ve been through worse.”
The Case Manager Page 7