by Linda Ellen
“Yeah, except now…” Fleet began, but hesitated.
Louise knew what she meant. Except now there was a lot more riding on the outcome.
Sitting on the vanity stool in Irene’s bedroom and staring at her reflection in the mirror, Louise wondered how she would even make it through the next few hours. She had rummaged through her things and located the purple dress, and while Irene pressed and freshened it, Fleet was styling her hair the same way she had for the dance four years before.
But Louise was a bundle of nerves. She reached for the small glass of water with a dash of bicarbonate Irene had prepared for her, and took another sip, allowing the salty, alkaline taste to slowly descend into her jittery stomach. I can’t believe it’s been four years…will he think I’ve changed too much? Have I changed a lot? What has he been through in the years since I saw him last? Does he still feel the same way that he did when he wrote me that beautiful letter?
Fleet had clued her in on the subtle changes she had noticed in Vic, and now, along with Irene, she’d had had a tough time convincing Louise that she needed to be bold and take a step of faith.
In her customary, no-nonsense way, Fleet had fussed at her, “Girl, you need to go down there to Vernon’s and get your man!”
After much primping and fixing, and Irene calling a taxi for Louise’s ten-block trip to the pool hall, the three ladies stood together in the doorway after they heard the toot of the cab’s horn.
“We’ll take care of Tommy. You take all the time you need. Don’t worry about anything,” Irene encouraged, smiling at the girl she had taken under her wing as she pressed the money for the cab into Louise’s quivering hand and shooed her out the door.
“Remember, tell the truth and don’t keep secrets. Things will work out better all around,” Fleet advised, her eyes locking with Louise’s as they shared unspoken thoughts.
Irene took her young friend’s hands in hers and whispered, “Go to him, honey. Talk to him. Don’t hold anything back.”
With a nervous swallow and exchanging quick hugs with both women, Louise drew in a deep breath, clutched her pocketbook close, and turned to go down the hall – on the way to what she hoped would be her first step toward the happiness that had been ripped away by a savage twist of fate four years before.
A sentimentally tearful Irene, and a widely grinning Fleet, watched together from the doorway.
*
Since it was early afternoon, Vernon Lanes only had a few regular customers, and most of them were bellied up to the bar at the far end of the billiard room. Cigarette smoke and the pungent scent of beer permeated the atmosphere.
Alec had offered to buy Vic a brew, but it sat on the corner of the table only minus a few sips, as he wasn’t much of a drinker. Alec, however, had tossed his own down rather quickly.
The two friends had bowled a few games, but Vic, normally a good bowler, was not surprisingly off his game, considering the circumstances. They had been talking for hours…or rather…shooting the breeze. Not much actual discussion had taken place once they had arrived, beyond the ‘what ifs’ and ‘yeah, but’s’ Vic had mumbled in the car. Eventually growing tired of knocking down pins, they had moved on in to the pool tables.
Alec figured that when his friend felt like unloading things off his chest, he would. Until then, they would just rack up another game. Thinking practically, however, he realized they didn’t have all night. He did need to go to work later.
Watching as Vic leaned over to line up for a game-opening break, Alec asked casually, “You stewed enough yet?”
Vic shot him a glance. “You got somethin’ on your mind?”
“Me?” he grinned, shrugging and leaning nonchalantly against the side of the table. “Just figured you might need some help figuring things out, is all.”
Vic heaved a sigh. “I been doin’ nothing but figurin’. It don’t get me nowhere, ‘cept round and round the maypole.”
Alec studied his friend, weighing his options. Finally, he decided to let him have it, both barrels, and see if he could force a reaction.
“So…you figure she’s just a no-good tramp and in the morning you’ll head back to your job and your life in Evansville, right? Easy as pie,” he added with a snap of his fingers.
Vic’s head jerked up and he glared at his friend. “I didn’t say that!”
“Well, you didn’t say you were staying, neither. So, what’s it gonna be? You gonna go over and see her? Talk to her? Hear her side of things? Or are ya gonna stay here in this smoky joint and brood all night?”
Vic swore under his breath. “I don’t know, man,” he fumed, drawing the pool stick back and sending it forward with way more force than needed. With loud, crashing tings, the balls shot all around the table, a few nearly leaving it. Sizing up for his first shot, he had just leaned down and grasped the cue again when he heard Alec clear his throat. Vic glanced up, ready to tell his friend to lay off, when the look on his face – and the fact that Alec was staring past his head toward the door – made the fine hairs at the back of his neck begin to tingle.
Vic sucked in a deep breath and slowly turned his head, peeking back over his shoulder. He wasn’t prepared for his reaction – it was if he had stuck his finger in a light socket.
Louise.
There she stood, looking just like she had the night he had taken her dancing on the Idlewild, just like she had thousands of times in his memories and dreams. Only…he wouldn’t have thought it possible, but she was even more beautiful now than she had been then.
Releasing the pool stick, it clattered to the table as he turned to face her.
Louise stood stock still, hugging her pocketbook to her chest. Gazing back at Vic, she was so nervous she could barely breathe, and her heart was pounding so fast she thought she might faint.
All the way there in the back of the taxi, she had tried to allow Irene’s words, and Fleet’s encouragement to buoy her confidence. Irene had reiterated that God didn’t punish a person endlessly for making a wrong choice, as both she and Fleet had encouraged her that Vic coming back was a sign that things were about to turn in her favor.
When the cab pulled up at the bowling alley, however, she had given the driver an extra twenty-five cents and asked him to wait around for ten minutes before moving on…just in case the worst happened and she found out Vic had ultimately changed his mind…
Using every ounce of courage she possessed, she had checked her hair, smoothed her dress, took in a deep fortifying breath, and opened the door, expecting to see him right away at one of the bowling lanes. When he wasn’t, she had almost panicked. Then suddenly, from the room to her left, she had heard the distinctive sound of a cue ball striking its targets and something had told her…
Now, staring at the man who had never left her mind or her heart since the last time she had seen his face – or for that matter – since the first time she had seen his face, she felt tied up in knots and none of her carefully planned words would come to mind. Having pictured herself running up to him and jumping into his arms, she now held back as she had unfortunately overheard the exchange he had just had with Alec and she wasn’t sure at all what to do next. The worst thing in the world for her would be if she threw herself at him and he spurned her advance.
Gazing at him, she thought he looked wonderful, even more handsome and virile than he had four years before. He looked healthy and fit…his muscles seeming more pronounced through the thin material of his shirt. And the potent way his darkening eyes were boring right into hers made the short hairs on the back of her neck prickle.
It was as if electricity was charging the very air. Neither of them could seem to move.
Then suddenly, the spell was broken as one of the patrons at the bar let out a loud wolf whistle.
“Hey, hey! What do we have here?” the man called, beginning to saunter in Louise’s direction in the doorway.
That instantly spurred Vic into action and he began to move toward Louise. The other man
got there first.
“Never seen you around here before, cutie. What’s your name?” the unknown man asked as he stopped close to Louise. She dragged her eyes from Vic to glance at the man, about to tell him to get lost, but in the next instant, Vic was there. He reached out and smoothly maneuvered an arm between them as Louise took a step back out of the way.
“She’s with me,” he murmured to the man. The no-nonsense warning in his eyes spoke volumes. The man didn’t argue, merely inclined his head, flinging an arm out in a mock bow as he turned to saunter back over to the bar and rejoin his chuckling drinking buddies.
Now close together, the two long lost sweethearts turned to face one another. For a few moments, time seemed to hesitate, and then start up anew. It was like their first and last encounters all over again and rolled into one, as they became acutely aware of one another’s close proximity. Vic hazily registered Louise’s perfume and the nervous energy she seemed to be projecting, while she luxuriated in his familiar natural scent that she remembered and adored.
One of them had to say something to break the ice, and figuring it probably should be her, Louise moistened her lips and murmured, “Hello, Vic.”
Unconsciously, his eyes twinkled at the impact of hearing her voice utter his name.
“Hey,” he whispered.
Both of them were holding back, longing to launch themselves into the other’s arms, but each was so painfully unsure…
Alec, still over by the pool table, once again cleared his throat, amused at the star struck expressions on both of his friends’ faces.
Louise tore her eyes from Vic’s to glance at their mutual friend, and managed to murmur, “Hey Double A.”
Immediately, her eyes reconnected with Vic’s and he smiled softly, mumbling, “How’d you know where I was?”
At that, her eyes sparkled and she smiled back, her gaze caressing his lips and face as she hummed, “Fleet came to see me.” Then remembering the message her friend had sent, she leaned her head a bit and addressed Alec again, though not breaking eye contact with Vic. “By the way, your wife says to come get her, she don’t feel like walking back home.”
Alec laughed, placing both his and Vic’s cues in the rack on the wall, quipping, “I best get to it, then!”
Just then, several patrons appeared at the doorway. Attempting to push their way in, they unintentionally jostled the two obstructing the entrance. Vic reflexively reached out to grasp Louise’s arms to steady her as she touched his chest. Together they gasped at the intense sensations from the unexpected contact.
“Let’s uh…let’s get outta here…go somewhere and talk…okay?” Vic murmured to Louise, then he called over his shoulder to Alec, “You want us ta drop you off?” although he was hoping Alec would turn him down.
Vic tried to suppress his smile of relief when Alec waved them on with, “Naw, man, I’ll catch a ride.”
*
They reached the parking lot and Vic steered Louise over to his car. When he put his hand on the door handle, she stopped and surveyed the vehicle. Admiring its cute design, Louise found she liked the running board and rumble seat, as well as the color. At that moment, she realized she had always hated T.J.’s car, thinking perhaps it was its color, dark green like heavy moss, or the convertible top that always leaked…or maybe just because of all the bad times…
Refocusing on the present, she glanced up at him. “This is yours?”
Vic smiled proudly and gave a nod. “Yep. Bought it with some ‘a the money I earned in the C’s.”
Louise smiled at that and met his warmly familiar mahogany gaze. “I’m glad…that things worked out good with that.” He nodded again, understanding what she meant – that he had benefited from the money from his second hitch.
Opening the door for her, he watched as she slipped quickly inside, and then he jogged around and slid into the driver’s side. For a moment, both wondered if they should pinch themselves, as the thing each had hoped, dreamed, longed, and prayed for was finally happening.
Vic looked over at Louise and she at him. He raised one eyebrow as she nervously drew her lip a tiny bit between her teeth.
“Where ya wanna go?”
She shook her head with a small shrug. “I don’t care.” And it was true. She didn’t care at all, as long as she was with Vic.
Pressing his lips together, he bowed his head knowingly and reached to start the car, turning the wheel to head north.
They couldn’t have been more aware of one another, sitting quite closely on the bench seat – especially when he would accidentally bump against her arm when working the gearshift in the floorboard.
Louise watched him, hungry for anything her eyes could feast upon – his arms, his hands…his trouser-covered legs and even his shoes as his feet manipulated the pedals with ease. She realized that in all the time she had known him, she had never before been in a car with Vic at the wheel. She felt safe with him, and found herself proud of his driving prowess and wondered if his time in the C’s and his job in Evansville driving a truck had taught him such expertise with the manual gears, or if he was just a natural at it – and she suspected the latter. The thought that she might try to drive such a thing, with the complicated pedals, gearshift, and trying to remember when to press the clutch and when to let off, fairly boggled her mind.
In much the same way, Vic was intensely aware of Louise…of every move she made… if she raised a hand to brush back a strand of hair blown by the breeze from the open window… His eyes strayed time and again to her shapely legs and high heel shoes. Though her dress was somewhat modest, and she was sitting primly with her legs to one side, they still attracted his gaze like a moth to a flame. He was also aware of the fact that she was perusing him, and that knowledge gave him a strong feeling of masculine pride.
Ten minutes later, at a wide patch on the side of River Road, Vic slowed the car and pulled over. Hopping out, he rounded the rumble seat, where he reached inside to grab an old quilt he kept in there for emergencies, before he opened the passenger door for Louise.
Gracefully swinging her legs out and accepting his offer of help, she reveled in the sweet familiarity of the simple act, remembering the many times he had held her hand on their dates during their idyllic summer. Conscious of the warm, smooth, firm strength of his hand, she closed her eyes briefly to cherish the moment, and then opened them again and looked around at her surroundings. “Where are we?”
Vic smiled as he gently squeezed her hand and led her down through the undergrowth to his favorite spot, under a tree overlooking the river. Looking around, he noticed a few changes from the last time he had been there – the tree was larger…the foliage thicker. “It’s my special place. It’s not as pretty as the one I found when I was in the C’s, but… I never showed this to anyone.” Louise admired the private spot, bordered by trees and bushes. She smiled at his admission that he had never shown it to anyone else, that knowledge causing a warm, satisfied glow to permeate her being. Vic went on to explain that in all of the times he had come there, no one had ever intruded upon his privacy.
The Ohio River stretched out on both sides, with Indiana on the far shore. Gentle waves lapped against the pebble-covered edge of the bank as he guided Louise over, and he paused to quickly spread out the quilt for them to sit on. He watched as she sat down, carefully tucking her legs to one side and arranging her skirt becomingly. It touched his heart when she looked up at him and he connected again with those breathtaking hazel eyes, admitting to himself that he had always loved their color.
Clearing his throat, he gestured at their surroundings. “I used to come here a lot…to fish…stare at the river…think. I…I came here the night we had that big fight,” he added softly as he gazed down at her. She visibly winced and he added, “Sorry…I didn’t mean to bring that up, I…”
“No, that’s alright,” she interrupted. “We…we need to talk about it,” she added as he sank down beside her on the quilt.
For a mo
ment, they were uneasy with one another again, each wondering what the other was thinking.
Then they spoke simultaneously, “Oh Vic, I’m so sor…” “I was such a jer…”
She put up a hand to interrupt; actually glad the time had come that she could say things to him she had yearned to be able to do, for so very long.
“No, Vic…you had every right to be mad. What I did was stupid and immature. Lying to you, keeping the truth from you, playing silly games. It…it became a challenge to see how long I could get away with it. Then…when everything hit the fan…I got in more trouble than I had even dreamed…” she admitted with a doleful expression. Unable to look him in the eye then, she dropped her line of sight down to her lap.
Vic smiled gently and reached for one of her hands, cradling it between his larger one and the strong barrel of his chest. “I overreacted,” he murmured. “See, I’d just been told about the trouble Ger’ was in… That threw me for such a loop I kinda lost my head. But…that night after I stayed here for awhile, I went to see Doc and Miss Irene at the church, and they set me straight.” He paused, remembering his very dear friends and the positive influence they’d had on his life. “They helped me make a good plan…”
At that, she gasped as her eyes snapped to his and began to fill with tears. “And I ruined it! Oh Vic…I thought you were so angry, that you would never forgive me for lying to you. I felt like my life was over, that nothing would ever mean anything again,” she wavered, fighting for control. “It was like I was in a fog and couldn’t see or think straight. All I knew was I had to do something to get some relief…Mama was so mad at me…Edna harped at me constantly…Daddy wouldn’t speak to me…even Billy was disappointed in me…so I…” she stopped, unwilling to say the dreaded words. “Then…when we found your letter…it was the next morning after…” she gestured helplessly with one hand.
Vic’s eyes grew large as he realized what she was saying. The morning after…after she married that no good son of a… He swore silently, not knowing what to say, it was all so unfair, and so unnecessary.