The Dedalus Book of Roman Decadence- Emperors of Debauchery

by Geoffrey Farrington

  JUVENAL

  from the Satires

  Cassius Dio

  Commodus

  Emperor AD 177-192

  `If a man were to fix the period in the history of the world during which the condition of the human race was most happy and prosperous, he would, without hesitation, name that which elapsed from the death of Domitian to the accession of Commodus.'

  So wrote Edward Gibbon in The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. And certainly, under the emperors Nerva, Trajan, Hadrian and the Antonines - the so called `Adoptive Emperors' - the practice of an emperor adopting as his successor the man who seemed best qualified for the task led to a period of much more stable and enlightened rule. It was broken finally when the philosopher emperor, Marcus Aurelius, allowed his natural son, the hedonistic and megalomaniac Commodus, to succeed him. It was a difficult choice for Marcus. There were no obvious candidates for adoption without the risk of causing factional strife, and whoever might finally have succeeded him, it was unlikely that Commodus would have been allowed to survive. But with the accession of Commodus - who had the same devotion to playing the charioteer and gladiator as Nero had for playing the actor and singer - the Golden Age which Gibbon described came to an abrupt end.

  CASSIUS DIO

  From The Roman History

  LXXIII, 17-21

  Commodus would never drive a chariot in public except occasionally on nights when there was no moon, because although he really wanted to be a charioteer in public as well, he was ashamed to be seen at it. In private, however, he would often do it, wearing the livery of the Green racing-team. He killed a large number of wild beasts in private, and a large number in public as well. In addition, he would fight as a gladiator, and when he did so in private, he sometimes killed a man (and in battle with others, as if trimming their hair with a razor, he cut off their noses, or the ears or other parts). In front of the people, however, he would not use iron, nor spill men's blood. Before he went into the amphitheatre he wore a silk tunic of white and gold, with sleeves, and in that costume he received our greetings, but when he was due to go in, he put on a purple robe with gold embroidery, a Greekstyle cloak of the same colour, and a golden crown with gemstones from India, and he carried a herald's staff, like Mercury. The lion-skin and club of Hercules were carried in front of him in the street, and in the theatre they were put on a gilded chair when he was present and also when he was not. He went into the arena dressed up as Mercury, and, having thrown off all his other garments, he set to work barefoot and wearing only the tunic.

  On the first day he killed a hundred bears himself, throwing javelins down at them from the balustrade above; the theatre had been divided with two cross-walls, supporting the gallery that went all round it. The wild beasts were thus divided into four herds and could be speared easily from any point. What's more, in the middle of all this action Commodus became tired, and took a club-shaped cup of cold, sweet wine from a woman, and drank it all at one go. All the people, and we, the senators, at once shouted out the drinking-session formula: `Health and Long Life to You!'

  Now I do not want anyone to think I am dishonouring the dignity of history if I write down things like this. Normally, to be sure, I would not have mentioned this business, but it was done by the emperor himself, and I was there myself, witness to everything seen, heard or spoken, and so i have decided to suppress not a single thing, but to pass it all on, however trivial, for posterity. Furthermore, I shall describe all the events that happened during my lifetime more exactly and in more detail than earlier ones, because I was there when they happened, and I do not know of any other chronicler who is familiar with the events to the same extent as I am.

  So that is what happened on the first day. On the others, he went down into the arena from his place up above and killed the animals that came near him, or were led in, or brought in nets; he killed a tiger, a hippopotamus and an elephant. After all this he would retire, but then after eating he would fight as a gladiator. The kind of fighting (and the equipment he had) was that of the so-called secutor, the swordsman. he had the shield in his right hand and a sword made of wood in his left - he was proud of being left-handed. Fighting against him was an athlete or gladiator, using a stave, either someone he had challenged himself, or someone chosen by the people. Here as in all other things he let himself be treated the same way as all the other gladiators, except that they fought for a few coins, and Commodus enriched himself with a colossal amount from the gladiatorial fund every day. Aemilius Laetus, the Praetorian Prefect, and also Eclectus, his chamberlain, were beside him when he was fighting, and when he had finished his bout (and won, of course), he used to kiss these, with his helmet on. And then the other gladiators would fight. The first day he himself arranged all the fights, down in the arena, dressed up as Mercury and carrying a gilded staff, and then he went onto a platform which was also gilded. This was regarded as an omen. And then he went to his usual place to watch the rest of the games with us. From now on the battles were no longer like children playing, but were serious, with a great many men killed. And once, when the winners were slow to kill those they had defeated, he tied the gladiators together and made them fight. The men fought against each other that way, and some killed men from different groups, because the numbers and the lack of space brought them so close together.

  This kind of activity went on for a fortnight. When Commodus himself was in action, we senators and the Order of Knights were always present, and only Claudius Pompeianus the Elder never came, but stayed away and only sent his sons. He himself would rather be killed than watch the emperor, the child of Marcus Aurelius, behave in this manner. For among other things that we did, we had to shout slogans out on demand, especially (and frequently) `You're the Lord! First and most blessed of all men! Victory is yours, and always shall be! Amazon, victory is yours!' But many of the ordinary people did not go into the amphitheatre, or they just looked in and then left, either from shame at what was happening, or from fear, because the word was that he wanted to fire arrows at some of the spectators, in imitation of Hercules when he killed the Stymphalian birds - and the story was believed, because he once gathered together all the men in the city who had lost their feet (by disease or accident), fixed serpent-like tails below their knees, gave them sponges to throw instead of stones, and then clubbed them to death, saying that they were monsters.

  We shared this fear, just as much as the rest of the people. And he did another thing to us senators that made us fear our own deaths.

  He killed an ostrich and cut off its head, and came to where we were sitting, holding the head in his left hand and a bloody sword in the right; he said nothing, but shook his own head and smiled, indicating that he would treat us the same way. And many might have been cut down there and then for laughing at him - for it was laughter, not distress, that this provoked - if I had not started chewing on some leaves which I grabbed from my laurel-crown (and I got others nearby to do the same); the movement of our jaws hid the fact that we were really laughing.

  Cassius Dio

  Commodus was finally assassinated by members of his household. He was succeeded by Pertinax, who had been city prefect and whose energetic efforts to implement emergency financial and disciplinary reforms after the negligence of Commodus were resented by the Praetorian Guard. Founded by Augustus, the Praetorians were an elite body of guards upon whose might the power and authority of an emperor rested. But at this period they had become like a Frankenstein monster, a thing beyond their master's control. A fledgling emperor could not hold power in Rome without their support, and the Praetorians had begun to regard the throne itself as something within their gift. After a rule of only three months the soldiers murdered the unpopular Pertinax. This, and what followed, became one of the most lamentable episodes in Roman history.

  The soldiers cut off the head of Pertinax, put it on a spear, and were cheered for doing so. And that is how Pertinax perished - a man who wanted to renew everything at once. In spi
te of his wide experience, he did not understand that it is not pragmatically possible to restore everything at a stroke, and that the renewal of an entire political system needs time and wisdom. He was four months and three days short of sixty-seven, and had reigned for eightyseven days.

  When it became known what had happened to Pertinax, some people hurried to their own homes, others to those of the soldiers, everyone having their own safety in mind. Flavius Sulpicianus, however, who had been sent to the Praetorian Camp by Pertinax to restore order, stayed where he was and tried to get himself acclaimed emperor. But when Didius Julianus (a wheeler-dealer and a wastrel, who was always ready to stir up political trouble and who had been exiled to his home city of Milan by Commodus), heard of the death of Pertinax, he went to the Camp, stood at the gates and tried to persuade the soldiers that he ought to rule over the Romans. What happened next was a very nasty piece of business indeed, and quite unworthy of Rome. For just as if it were a market-place or an saleroom, the city and the state were put up for auction, and those selling were the ones who had killed the emperor. The buyers were Sulpicianus and Julianus, outbidding each other, one from inside and one from outside. The bids rose as high as five thousand silver pieces per man; some of the guards would take word to Julianus and say `Sulpicianus offers so much - what can you do instead?' Sulpicianus, who was already in the Camp, was a senior city official, and was the first to name that sum of five thousand silver pieces, would have won if Julianus had not upped his offers not just by a little, but by a very large amount at a time, which he shouted out in a great voice and also indicated with his hands. The soldiers, caught by his generous offer and also afraid (following a suggestion made by Julianus) that Sulpicianus might want to avenge Pertinax, brought Julianus in and declared him emperor.

  And so, towards evening, the new ruler went to the Forum and to the Senate House, accompanied by a large number of the Guard, who were carrying their standards and seemed ready for action. He wanted to intimidate us, the senators and the people, and win us over that way. The soldiers were cheering him and calling him `Commodus'. When word came to each of us senators, we were frightened of Julianus and the Guard, especially those of us that had done anything for Pertinax (and I was one of those myself- I had been honoured by Pertinax and made praetor, and when acting at trials for other people I had often found him -Julianus - to be guilty of offences). For all that, we did turn out, partly because staying at home did not seem safe and might have aroused suspicion. So after a bath and dinner we pushed our way through the soldiers, went into the House and heard his (predictable) speech, in which he said: 'I see that you need a ruler, and I myself am clearly best suited of anyone to take command. I would list all my good points if you did not already know them and if you hadn't already had experience of me. Therefore I did not ask to be accompanied by many soldiers, but have come here alone, so that you can confirm what they have given me.' He did say 'I am here alone,' although he had placed heavily armed Praetorians around the Senate and had many soldiers in the House itself. He also reminded us of the sort of man he was - and because of this we hated and feared him.

  Apuleius

  Born c. AD 120

  Novelist

  `The Golden Ass' of Apuleius is a delightful work, a novel of magic, adventure, bawdy humour, mythology and religion. It follows the misfortunes of one Lucius who, by means of sorcery, is transformed into an ass. The only antidote for this unhappy condition is to eat roses, but naturally this proves continually to be unfeasibly difficult. In this extract Lucius the Ass falls into the hands of a group of itinerant eunuchs, servants of the Syrian goddess Atargatis.

  APULEIUS

  as The Golden Ass

  VII, 15-IX, 10

  Sighing deeply and weeping from time to time, he told his tale, and it affected the country people profoundly. Afraid of getting a new master, and very sorry about the misfortunes that had come upon their former master's house, they made plans to run away. The bailiff of horses, who had been so firmly charged with looking after me, took everything of value that he had in his little house, loaded it onto my back and onto the backs of the other pack animals, and left his former home. We were carrying children and women, chickens, sparrows, young goats and puppies; anything which would delay our escape by its weakness, used our legs instead of their own. But I was not worried about the weight of my burden, however massive, because it was welcome escape from that detestable person who wanted to chop off my manhood.

  We crossed the scrubby ridge of a wooded mountain, and then the length of the plain beyond it, until at evening, just when it was getting dark, we reached a well-populated and prosperous little town, the residents of which would not let us go on that night, nor indeed leave in the morning. Apparently the whole region was overrun with bands of huge, strong wolves, who would attack with ferocious savagery; they would even lie in wait like highwaymen by the side of the road and set upon travellers. Starved and rabid, they would even attack farm-buildings, and the destruction of the defenceless farm-animals was now threatening humans as well. Then they told us that the whole route that we were going to take was strewn with half-devoured corpses, and that everywhere there were gleaming white bones stripped of their very flesh. They suggested that we should take up our travels again only with extreme care, and first of all to make sure that we did so in broad daylight, after dawn and in full sunshine, avoiding secret ambushes from both sides of the road (since the force of these dreadful beasts was reduced by sunlight), and proceeding not in Indian-file, but in wedge-formation; if we did that, we might surmount the difficulties.

  But the useless leaders of our exodus, in blind and reckless haste, and fear of possible pursuit, disregarded this sound advice, and did not wait until the dawn of the following day, but loaded us up and ushered us out onto the road at around midnight. I myself was in terror of the dangers of which we had been warned, and hid amongst the thick crowd of pack animals to protect my backside as far as I could from the savagery of those wild wolves. Everyone marvelled at how swiftly I outran the rest of the horses; but this turn of speed had nothing to do with enthusiasm on my part, but was a sign of sheer terror. Then it occurred to me that even the famous Pegasus must have been driven to flight primarily by fear, and had earned the description `winged' when he jumped up and rose into the sky because he was terrified of a bite from the firebreathing Chimaera. Even the herdsmen driving us had armed themselves, as if for a battle, one with a spear, one with a javelin, another with a throwing-dart, another a club, and some even with the stones which the roadway so generously provided for us. Some carried sharpened stakes, and most of them were carrying burning torches to frighten off the wild beasts. The only thing we did not have was a trumpet, or we'd have been just like an army on the march.

  But our fears proved unfounded, and we did it all in vain, although the trap we fell into was far worse. None of the wolves came near us, and we never even saw one in the distance; possibly they were confused by the racket of all these young men, or frightened off by the light of the flames, or perhaps they were just off somewhere else.

  However, the people on a farmstead that we happened to be passing thought from our numbers that we must be brigands, and so, afraid for their property, they set their huge and vicious dogs on us, dogs that were more savage than wolves or bears, and which they had trained to protect them, urging them onto us with shouts and all kinds of noise. The innate savagery of these dogs was aggravated by the noise their owners were making, so they rushed at us, surrounded us and jumped on us from all sides, tearing at pack-animals and at men indiscriminately for so long that they had brought down nearly all of us. What a sight - though the whole show was more pitiful than memorable! All those slavering, excited hounds, some chasing those who had tried to run away, others holding onto those who had stood still, and lots prowling around our whole group, snapping and snarling!

  And after this horror there was much worse to follow. The farmers began to throw rocks down onto us from t
heir roofs and from a nearby hilltop, so that we didn't know which we needed to take cover from the most, the dogs on top of us, or the rocks aimed at us. One of the latter struck the head of the woman who was sitting on my back. At once she started to weep and scream in pain, and called out for her husband, the bailiff, to help her. He called on heaven to protect him, wiped the blood from his wife's head and called out, `Why are you attacking and hurting us weary and wretched travellers so viciously? What do you expect to get out of it? What kind of revenge are you taking? Are you wild beasts living in hollows, or cave-dwelling barbarians, that you take pleasure in spilling human blood?

  Hardly had he said this, when the shower of rocks stopped at once, the savage dogs were called off and the storm subsided. One of the men then shouted down from the top of a cypress tree, no, we are not thieves who want to rob you; we were only trying to stop you doing the same thing to us. You can go on now, in peace and quiet.'

  And that was that. But we took up our journey with a lot of wounds, some from rocks, some from the jaws of the hounds, but everyone was hurt somehow. When we had gone along the road a little way, we came to a grove with tall trees and pleasant grassy meadows, and our leaders said that we should rest for a little while to recover and look after the various wounds that our bodies had received. And so first of all everyone lay around to recover, and then they all made efforts to heal their wounds in different ways, some washing off the blood in the stream that ran through the place, others putting vinegar-soaked sponges on their bruises, still others bandaging their cuts. In this fashion, everyone looked after themselves.