“Oh my gosh,” Charlotte whined. “It’s like adding salt to the wound.”
I raised an eyebrow at Luca, who grinned and said, “Char’s had a crush on Damon since we were kids.”
“Ah,” she cried, slapping him in the arm, but he only laughed. “Stop. I look terrible.”
Sensing things were taking a turn for the better, I said, “I’ll head to the den, too.”
“Whitney, wait,” Charlotte said, disentangling herself from her brother and hopping off the bed to come toward me. “I want to apologize. I was rude and callous, and I feel absolutely terrible. I never should have come in the house that way and shouldn’t have made assumptions about you without meeting you. I’m exhausted and spending more time as a single parent than I’d expected, but that’s no excuse. My behavior was abhorrent, and I hope you can forgive me and give me another chance to get to know you. I promise I’m usually a really nice person.”
“Of course,” I assured her. “Don’t give it another thought. Like I said, I’ve been in your shoes and understand how the exhaustion and stress can get to you.”
“You’re so sweet. I promise I’ll make it up to you and, if the day comes, I’ll be the best sister you could ever want.”
I blinked at that but gave her a small smile before exiting the room.
This family was giving me whiplash. So many emotions and expectations. I’d only just arrived, and I didn’t feel like I’d been fully prepared to handle it all. We hadn’t even gotten to the dinner yet and I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.
I paused in the hallway, leaning against the wall as I tried to catch my breath.
What am I doing here?
Am I really ready to commit to Luca and become a member of his family?
I’d already done this … merged my family with someone else and started a family of our own. I’d thrown my entire being into it, positive it was going to last forever, and had had my life ripped out from beneath me.
Could I really go through that again? Did I have it in me?
I felt panic flutter in my chest just as Luca came out of the room and turned my way.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked.
I was about to tell him everything that was currently running through my head when his mom called out, “Time to eat.” So, I let out a breath, gave him a weak smile, and said, “Of course. Better not keep your mom waiting.”
He looked like he wanted to argue, but I walked past him toward the dining room, and he had no choice but to follow.
Thirty-Two
Luca
I wasn’t sure how things had gone so wrong so quickly.
Everyone had been friendly, and Whit had seemed to relax, and then Char had walked in and word vomited all over the place.
It seemed like her apology had worked and Whitney had understood that Charlotte’s behavior was due to stress and lack of sleep and she actually wasn’t actually a horrible gossip who was determined not to like my new girlfriend.
Yet, when I’d seen her in the hall moments later, she’d suddenly become closed off.
Dinner had so far been strained and uncomfortable, which was the exact opposite of how dinners with my family usually were.
Because of it, I found myself disappointed and a little annoyed by how weird everyone was acting. Whitney included.
“Ma, you really outdid yourself with the swordfish,” Damon said, trying desperately to ease some of the tension in the room.
I shot my friend a grateful look and tried to take his lead.
“Damon’s right, it’s cooked to perfection,” I agreed.
My mom gave us a halfhearted smile and said, “I’m so happy you boys are enjoying it.”
I glanced at Whitney, whose eyes were on her plate, and felt another surge of annoyance.
Couldn’t she at least make an effort to get to know my family? It wouldn’t take much to make them happy, but the absolute lack of participation was not going to make a great impression.
“Isn’t it great, Whit?” I asked, trying to pull her out of whatever funk she was in and into the conversation.
She looked up and blinked, like she momentarily forgot where she was, then nodded and said, “It’s amazing, Franny. Everything is.”
When she turned her attention back to her plate, I looked desperately at Charlotte.
“Uh, Damon,” Char said, a little too loudly. “Have you been working on anything new recently?”
“I’ve been in my studio a lot lately, actually. My muse has been very generous, and I have a number of new pieces to show you.”
“Wonderful. I’ll be going back to work next week … thank God,” Char said with a little laugh. “I’ll talk to Giles about the schedule and see if we can get a show on the books for you, if you want.”
“You know what?” Damon said, his leg bouncing under the table like it did when he was nervous. “I think I am finally ready to do a show of my own.”
“You’ll have to send us an invite,” my dad said, and my whole family murmured in agreement.
“Thank you. It would mean a lot to me to have you all there.”
Damon often said he was closer to my family than his own.
“We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” my ma said, with her first genuine smile since the whole Charlotte debacle. “It’ll give us the perfect excuse to get all gussied up and spend a night on the town.”
“You always look amazing,” Damon quipped, and Ma preened under his compliment.
“You say the sweetest things.”
This was a common back and forth between the two of them and the normalcy of it had my mood lightening a bit.
“Hey, remember when Damon asked Ma to junior prom,” I said with a laugh, which was mimicked by Vanni.
“Oh my God,” he said, slapping his hand on the table. “He would have done it too, and I swear, she would have gone, if Char hadn’t had a conniption fit.”
“Come on, it’s not like they would have actually done it. Dad wouldn’t have agreed,” Char said, her cheeks reddening.
“Sure I would have. Hell, I would have volunteered as chaperone and taken pictures,” Dad replied.
“Char was just jealous because she wanted to be Damon’s date,” I teased, then yelped when she kicked me under the table.
“Instead, I had to go stag with this guy,” Damon said with a sigh.
I slapped his shoulder and said, “Hey, we had a blast that night. And if you’d taken my ma, you wouldn’t have had the opportunity to take Simone Childress behind the bleachers.”
“That is true,” Damon replied, staring off into the distance as if caught up in the memory. “And she was a phenomenal kisser.”
I winked at Charlotte and she stuck her tongue out at me.
“I don’t know what is more far-fetched … the thought of Ma at a high school formal or Dad chaperoning one,” Vanni said, and we all started laughing.
Well, everyone except Whitney, who’d plastered a polite smile on her face and was watching us all like we were strangers.
Once the meal was over, we all cleared our plates and went about helping put the leftovers in containers and clean up as best we could. Once it was mostly done, Ma kicked us out of the kitchen, and rather than meet the others in the den, I pulled Whitney into the guest room.
“Is everything okay?” I asked her once we were alone.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I guess I just got in my head there a little bit. Your family brought up some emotions and questions I wasn’t ready for.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“I don’t think now’s really the time to talk about it.”
“Well, you kind of shut down there after talking with Charlotte and I’d like to know why. Why now, of all times, during dinner with my family, did you decide to lock yourself away and put this distance between us? You barely even spoke during the meal.”
“I know and I said I was sorry. It wasn’t something I did on purpose, it was simply a reaction to the things Charlotte
said and the expectations your family seem to have about our relationship.”
“What expectations? They only talked about normal stuff people talk about when discussing a couple and the possible future of that couple,” I said, a little defensively.
“Like I said, this isn’t the time to talk about it.”
“Okay, do you want to leave? We can swing by your place, sit down and have a conversation,” I suggested, even though I knew my ma would be upset if we left before dessert.
Whitney shook her head.
“You know what? I think things have gotten a little too real for me and I need to take a step back to think things through. Reevaluate a little.”
“Take a step back? You mean break up?” I asked, shocked.
I mean, how did we get from her coming to meet my family to this?
“Not break up, just a pause. Let’s put a pause on the relationship so I can figure out what I want moving forward. It’ll be good for both of us.”
“I don’t see how it’ll be good for me when it’s not what I want,” I argued.
“Luca, please, give me this. I promise I’ll work my stuff out and we’ll be better for it in the end. Just give me a little time.”
“Fine. Okay. Are you going to stay for dessert or are you leaving now?” I asked, biting back my anger and disappointment.
I didn’t want to say something I wouldn’t be able to take back, even though I was baffled and hurt by this turn of events.
“I think it’s best if I slip out now,” Whitney said sadly. “I’ll call you, okay?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and nodded.
“Okay. I’ll go say my goodbyes to your family and see myself out.”
I knew I was acting like a petulant child, but I stayed there, quiet, with my arms folded, and watched her walk out.
This woman … the first of whom I’d brought to my family as an adult, who I was falling in love with, had just shown me a side of her I didn’t know existed and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.
Although it looked like I didn’t have much of a say … our relationship was on pause.
Thirty-Three
Whitney
I drove like I was in a fog.
It was kind of like having an out-of-body experience. I wasn’t sure what the exact trigger was, or why I’d suddenly shut down like that.
Right after my divorce that had happened a lot.
I’d be driving down the highway and not even realize there were tears running down my face until they slipped off my chin.
Or I’d find myself unable to get out of bed and stay in it, in my pajamas, for the entire day.
These things didn’t happen all the time, I had my children to take care of, but it seemed like depression would hit when I least expected it.
Therapy had helped with all of that, and I hadn’t felt as freaked out as I had today in over a year. Maybe it was because things with Luca had progressed much further than I’d ever expected, and the fact that we were already to the meet the parents’ stage of the relationship had doubt festering beneath the surface and I hadn’t been aware of it until everything seemed to hit all at once.
Figuring my reaction today could only mean one thing, I bypassed the exit to my house and continued on to Marcus’s.
I often put off having to talk to him unless it was absolutely necessary for the kids. But today made me realize something my therapist had been trying to drill into me for months.
Marcus and I had never really talked about what happened.
It came up in the divorce, and we talked around it, but we’d both done a pretty stellar job of avoiding having an actual conversation about the demise of our marriage.
It’s time I got some closure.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I parked my car, got out, and marched up to the front door of his and Crystal’s house.
With a deep breath, I steeled myself, then raised my hand and knocked.
A few seconds later, Marcus opened the door in a tank top and shorts. He was sweaty and out of breathe, and I figured he’d been on the treadmill.
Marcus had always been serious about fitness.
“Whitney,” he said, his surprise obvious. “Is everything okay? I’m supposed to have the kids until tonight. They are at the store with Crystal right now.”
“I’m not here about the kids,” I said with a wave of my hand. “We need to talk. Can I come in?”
“Uh, yeah, sure,” Marcus said, stepping to the side and gesturing for me to enter. “I’m going to grab some water. Do you want anything?”
“No, I’m good, thanks.”
I followed him through the house and into the kitchen. While he crossed to the fridge, I moved to the small table they had by the bay window and took a seat.
When he was about to sit across from me, I looked up at him and asked, “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did you leave me? Leave us? Why did you cheat?”
Marcus’s eyes widened as he paused mid-sit.
“We’re going to need something stronger than water for this conversation.”
A couple minutes later, he was back with two glasses and a bottle of bourbon. He poured us each two fingers and took his seat.
“So?” I prodded when he didn’t say anything.
“Why are you asking this now?”
“It’s well overdue, don’t you think? I mean, I know you hate conflict, and I was always super careful to avoid it so as not to upset you, but those days are over, and we need to have this discussion. I need it.”
“Okay.” Marcus cleared his throat, like he did when he was uncomfortable, and said, “Well, you know things in our marriage had gotten stagnant in those last few years. We were running on autopilot, like we were stuck in this rut and we didn’t know how to get out.”
“So you thought sleeping with Crystal would help that?” I asked, admittedly a little cattily.
Marcus sighed.
“No, obviously not. But when I met Crystal, she was so full of life and seemed to hang on my every word. She was really into me and wasn’t afraid to show it…”
“Even though you were married.” At his pointed look, I mumbled, “Sorry, please go on.”
“She made me feel like I was young again. Like I was desirable as a man, not just like the father to her children whose job it was to mow the lawn and take out the trash. I never meant to cheat, and I didn’t want to hurt you, but once I saw how things could be with Crystal, I just couldn’t go on living the life I was.”
I could understand that. My life had changed since the divorce and I’d found myself enjoying doing things because I wanted to and not having to think about what Marcus would want before making decisions. And, since I’d met Luca, I’d felt sexier, more open to possibilities and excited about what was to come.
Still… “If you were so unhappy, how come you never talked to me about it? I mean, before you went looking for someone else to do new things with and have adventures, why didn’t you try and fix things with your wife? You don’t think we could have found our way back to each other?”
Marcus gave a half shrug and said, “I don’t know. Maybe. But by that point we hardly ever talked about anything but the kids and what was going on in their lives. Look, you couldn’t have been happy those last few years either, right? Even if you didn’t know it then, I’m sure you know it now. Didn’t you ever wonder what it would be like if we were no longer together? What it would be like to start over with someone new?”
“No, I didn’t. I was married to you. Committed to the life we spent twenty-five years building. I thought we were going to grow old together,” I said honestly. I’d taken our vows seriously and the thought of cheating never crossed my mind. I just wasn’t that kind of person. “I guess there were the occasional times when I wondered what life would be like if you died, but the thought of either of us leaving each other of our own free will never crossed my mind.”
“Wow,” Marcus said dry
ly. “So, you’d have rather seen me dead than with someone else?”
“At the time, yeah, I guess,” I admitted, then let out a laugh. “But now I’m happy you’re alive.”
“Gee, thanks,” he said with a chuckle.
We both took a sip of our drinks and he asked, “So, what brought this on?”
“I’ve been seeing someone, actually. He’s a great guy, and even though I tried to keep him at arm’s length, he managed to get me to feel things for him without me realizing it.”
Marcus didn’t look surprised, so I figured one of the kids must have mentioned Luca. “That’s good. I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah, it’s just, now that things are progressing, I’m scared. How can I trust him not to hurt me? I don’t know if I could go through that again, Marcus, I really don’t.”
He reached out and laid his hand over mine and I realized it was the first time we’d touched since he told me he was leaving.
It’s funny, to go from touching someone every day for twenty-five years, to not so much as holding hands with them.
“I’m sorry, Whit,” he said, and my eyes filled as I looked into his familiar face. “Hurting you was never my intention and I’ve hated myself for doing it. But I truly believe we are better off now than we’d be if we’d stuck it out.”
Since I was happier now than I’d been in ages, I had to agree with him.
“Thanks for talking with me,” I said as I stood up. “I know you probably wanted to shut the door when you saw me on the other side.”
He rose and gave me a small smile.
“I’m always here if you need me, Whit. Truly.”
“Thanks, Marcus. I’ll see you later,” I said, before going back the way I came and letting myself out.
I felt a million times better than I had when I’d arrived, like a weight I hadn’t realized I’d been carrying all these years had been lifted.
Now I just had to figure out what I wanted and what it meant for me and Luca.
Thirty-Four
Luca
Starter Wife (The Jilted Wives Club Book 1) Page 12