7.
It wasn't every day that you got to be a part of a project called "Young Frankenstein." Well, at least that was what I was calling it. Apparently, in my mind, because human testing was wrong, Paul needed some, unknown human testers to test his new product. It still worried me so very much, how complete strangers knew so much about me. As everyone left the room, I waited for Paige to do her thing. It was a joke. It was a sad joke and it was being played on me. I had control over nothing. I just sat quietly and waited to hear what Paige had to say.
She took a seat back into the chair and we sat there in silence for a while. She then lifted her head and looked at me. "There are some things that we need to cover before I take you back to your room."
I just cocked my right brow. "Lady, if you're calling that God damn dungeon a room, then you're out of your bloody mind." I started shaking my head. "Besides, I'd rather waste as much possible time in her as I can. It's warm, and it doesn't smell like crap."
Paige frowned, her eyes moved from left to right, and then she blinked and looked at me. There was a Manila folder that was sitting on the table the whole time, and she reached out and pulled it closer to her. She opened it and began to examine the contents inside. "So, first thing is, I need to know your medical history. Do you have any allergies?"
The first thing that came to my mind was you people and your damn Manila folders. "No, none that I can think of." I took my right hand and rubbed my forehead. "Ummmm, ahhhh, no."
She continued to examine the papers in the Manila folder. "So, I see your earlier medical records as a child, and I see you were treated for a spastic colon?"
I didn't giggle I just let out a slight chuckle. "We thought it was a spastic colon. Sounds stupid but, after my father died I was unable to cope with it I guess. Long story short I got the shits every day. At first yeah, I was prescribed something, but in the end my doctor just prescribed me fiber pills. They actually worked."
"Mmmmkay." She said. "I also see that were are admitted to the ER and treated for blood poisoning?"
I pushed out a half smile on that one too. "Yeah so, I was trying to break up a fight between my two dogs. I guess one of them got overly excited and thought my thumb was the other dog. She bit me down to the bone. Later, I noticed some red lines down my veins."
"What did you do with the dog that bit you?"
"Huh?"
She hesitated but asked the question again. "Your dog, the one that bit you, what did you do with her? Did you put it down?"
"Oh God no! No, I couldn't do anything like that. That night when I left for the hospital, I saw her looking at me, sad with her tail between her legs. I knew that she didn't mean it." Seems my dear friend Paige there was drifting from the subject
Once again into the paperwork and then her eyes were on me. "So when was the last time that you were sick, like really sick? When was the last time you had to take a day off work because you're too sick?"
I sat there and I pondered the question for a while. I really couldn't remember the last time I was sick. It had to have beeen years. I had recently started a new diet in eliminating mostly all processed foods. "Ahhhh, then I have to go with 4 to 5 years maybe?"
"Wow really?"
"Well yeah. I mean I have come down with things. I had sore throat and stuffy noses. I'm pretty sure I had a mild temperature sometimes two, but nothing extremely severe."
"Do you smoke?"
"Yes."
"How often?"
I narrowed my eyebrows a bit. "Ahh... 4 to 5 cigarettes a day. I do not smoke at home. Oh, I smoke when I drink."
Paige shifted in her chair and then asked me another question. "Okay, so that would be my next question. Do you drink?"
I don't know why but I sat up straight. "Hell yeah!"
"How often?"
"Oh, about three times a week."
"How many beers could you say?"
"Wow, you are really getting scientific with this shit."
Her facial expression turned to inpatient. "Lillian, please just answer the question, how many?"
I let out a big sigh, "let's see? 5 to 6 beers on Thursday, 5 to 6 beers on Friday, and about 8 to 10 beers on Saturday. Is that good enough for you Paige?"
She lifted her head from her paperwork and looked at me. "Yes Lillian that will be fine, thank you."
Paige pulled a pen from her front pocket on her shirt and began writing. Her hand was quick and Swift but smooth. Her head was bent down close to the paper and her brown hair spilled to the side of her face. Beautiful brown curls I thought to myself and smiled as I began to drift away from the conversation. Once again I became curious, and decided to ask a few questions for myself.
"Why all these health questions? Obviously as I've heard you've done this procedure before."
She partially opened her mouth and took a deep breath. "As you know, my father," big hesitation on that one. She swallowed. "As my father told you that in the past we have acquired only homeless women. Due to their current health, none of them survived the after procedure. All girls died with a terrible fever."
"All girls? How many exactly are we talking about here?" I raised both my eyebrows, my face completely and utterly concerned. I was pretty sure I heard some of it before, but that was after I had been kidnapped and then brutally beaten. I now had food in my belly and had some sort of senses. She just stared at me with empty eyes. "You would be the sixth."
"Seriously?" My eyes were wide open at that point.
She hesitated. "Well, we did not administer the procedure to the first girl. She was kind of like our test run, what we could do with these women."
I cocked my eyebrow, my eyes widened. So what happened to the first girl? Was she successful?"
"She was. She did quite well. Her name was Totty. We called her the tarantula." Paige took a deep breath and then shifted in her seat. "I don't know why we called her the tarantula. She was really good with all appendages of her body, I guess. She wasn't hairy or anything." Page leaned back in her seat, took her hand and started rubbing her lips with her index and middle fingers. "Totty was so eager to learn everything. She was an excellent fighter. She won many battles. In the end though, she took a horrific blow the stomach with a knife. We had to?" Paige's eyes just drifted off into space.
"Put her down?" I decided to finish the sentence for her.
"Yes?" Paige's breathing seemed to become heavier. Her train of thought seemed to drift into an empty grayness. "All the girls that we have dealt with were? More willing to do this, but you, you have been a challenge. You have been less cooperative."
I perked up quickly at that. "You think?!" I felt my temper coming back. "Do you people ponder the reason why I am so pissed?" It was one thing to abduct a homeless woman, thinking to myself I shook my head no, it didn't matter who the hell they abducted, regardless it was wrong. I felt one of my famous pissed off speeches coming on, and Paige was going to get the blunt of it.
Paige began to protest, but I butted in with my explosion. I leaned in and slammed both my elbows upon the table. "Listen lady, just because a douche bag with a shit load of money thinks he can use it to buy people, he has another fucking thing coming. And just because you've had cooperation in the past, don't mean you be getting it now. The only reason I'm here sitting talking to you right now," I leaned in closer and gave her my utmost attention and eye contact, at this point I was flaming. "You have threatened my mother, and or my other family members. And unfortunately, because of this I must abide by your bullshit rules. You have no idea what you have done to me. I am not just a little puppet with strings you can move around at your will. I swear to God, mark this day, you all will feel my wrath once I have the chance to give it." I sat there on edge of my seat. My face was red my neck was hot.
Paige began to open her mouth to say something, but I cut her right off. "One more thing... Right now, I cannot agree more with the phrase, you don't know how important something is until you lose it. I have just lost it all.
My heart is in a million fucking pieces." I tried to hold back, but I felt the tears begin to drip out of my eyes. I raised my hand to my head and wiped them away with my middle finger and thumb. "These last two nights, were the scariest nights of my whole God damn life. Most nights, I cry because I'm lonely. These last two nights, I cried because it was scared, I was beaten, and alone. I do not know how you can fucking sleep at night. I do not know how you can live with yourself." I placed my Palm on my forehead covered my eyes and closed them. I began to rub my face with my hand. I drew my hand through my hair and stopped at my ponytail. I pulled out a strand of hair started to twirl the strand through my fingers. It was something I always did when I was under a lot of stress. The softness of my hair between my fingers always calmed me.
Paige just sat there motionless. I saw her quickly glance at the tattoo that was etched on her wrist.
I shook my head and half smiled. "And once again the tattoo comes into play. What is it, what's on your mind Paige?"
She looked up at me again, eyes true, pure. It was a strange process that brought people together. It was a strange string of fate that brought yourself into another person's life. Every person that I had ever met, I had found some sort of meaning in their life. I always tried to ponder the reason why they were brought into mine. The biggest question on my mind, was why I was brought into Paige's, and she into mine. I leaned back into my chair, left elbow laying on the armrest, my fingers flickering. I then leaned forward placing my right elbow onto the armrests and resting my chin into my right hand. "All right kiddo," I said, "who is Ivy?"
She hesitated, but the beans were soon spilled. "Ian Vernon Yates." Her head swiftly dipped and she looked into her lap. "In my young teens, I met a boy."
My half smile still remained. This shit was getting good. I continued to listen.
"When I was young, like every story goes I met a boy. We fell in love, and one thing led to another, I became pregnant." Her face was not buried into her lap, but she was looking into it like everything she had to say was causing her great pain. She managed to glance up at me, and then continue to look at the steel table. "At the time, my father was involved with heavy gambling and drinking after my mother died." She shook her head, eyes becoming watery. "I just lost him." Still shaking her head, eyes now filling with tears. "He got into something dark. He got into something that he could not get himself out of. I became pregnant and when I told him, he told me just to get rid of it." At this point her lips were no longer straight, but they formed a frown.
Her Brown eyes so beautiful seemed empty, and cold. The tears that were protruding from her eyes we're creating a magnifying glass that was making them ever so big like the moon. I could feel her pain. Despite our differences I wanted to hold her. I was chained. I was bound to my chair.
"In the end I went through the pregnancy I did not terminate it." Her face was still like a block of ice. She wasn't looking at me; she was just looking into an empty space of time. Her body was there, but it seemed as if she was just on auto drive. "After I had a little boy, I gave him up for adoption. By then my father's mind was completely gone. He owed somebody, he now belonged to somebody." There was sort of a shift to her train of thought. Her eyes fluctuated and became more strained. It seemed she was trying so very hard not to break into tears. "There was one day, my father came home. I was there with my boyfriend, my father was so drunk." She left her gaze into the empty space and looked at the ground and shook her head. She looked back up at me and straight into my eyes. "I never saw my love again after that day. I looked all over the place for my son, I wanted to make sure he was safe and with a good family. I found him, I did." A smile, it was slight, but it was there. "He's safe, and well provided for. But, I tell you this that you are not the only one that has something at stake here."
Alas, a sad solemn quaint moment with Paige. She was so tender at the moment, close to breaking. I didn't want to take it as a moment of opportunity for advantage, but I kept it close to mind. If I had any chance of getting out, Paige was it. Eyes big, I tried my best to comfort her with what I had. It definitely was not going to be a hug... My hands were a bit bound up at the moment. "Paige, I'm... I'm sorry."
She looked into my eyes for some time, sniffles slowly drying up. "My god... Your eyes, they are so..."
"So?" I said it between my teeth and tilted my head.
"Green... And your hair... It's not quite blonde, but it is not brown either...Almost gold."
Well, it seemed she had taken a turn off the path. Perhaps I had her recall a repressed memory and at the moment, her mind was trying to find ways to deal with it.
Snapping out of it, she blinked, and quickly moved around the table and behind me. My chains were unlocked, and the bag was once again slipped over my head. "I need to take you back to your room, err? dungeon. You need to get some sleep. The operation will start tomorrow at 7:00 AM."
We once again ventured through the door, and up the stairs. We traveled through the house, and through the snow. I waited a brief moment as Paige opened the wooden flap to my dungeon room. We descended and the smell of dirt, and muskiness invaded my nose. I stood once again as my chains were locked and I was bound into my room. The bag was removed from my head, and I lifted my hands and turned so I could sit on my bed.
"Is there anything else that I can get you?"
"Food?"
"You know I cannot give you that right now." The rays of sunlight were peeking through the small open crevices of the wood above. It made her hair look like strands of gold, and her eyes were gorgeous brown beacons of hope.
I put my arms from the sides of the bed, and placed them into my lap. Moving was such a pain. Being attached to chains was annoying. "In that case, please bring me a toothbrush and toothpaste. If you could so kindly, at least bring me something to listen to, some music?"
"Will do." Smiling she said it so kindly. "I know Clive has a very big music selection. He listens to everything." She raised her hands and extended her arms to "everything." "I will definitely bring you something to brush your teeth with. I know you are so out of your element and I am so very sorry."
She walked to me ever so close. She keeled down, and placed both of her hands upon mine. She looked at me so sincerely, and said, "I know you do not want to be here, nor do I. I am sorry for your troubles, and your pain. And I thank you, for lending me your ear." With that she was gone. She disappeared back up the stairs, opening the flap and letting a little bit of the golden sunlight saturate the dark, dank stale dungeon that I was now inhabiting.
I could think of nothing more than her face, her lips being so close to mine. Her mouth was of perfection, porcelain. I wanted so badly to take my hands and place them upon her beautiful cheekbones. I wanted to hold her there, face so close to mine. I wanted to stare into her eyes and feel the oblivion of gorgeous brown.
I was a good girl my whole life. I could never fathom the thought of being stuck in a prison. But here I was. Stuck in the small confines that could only be described as a dirty oversized coffin. I lifted my legs up onto the bed and sat Indian style. I leaned against the wall, and stared into nothingness.
As I waited for Paige's return, I began to hum a song. Brooks was here, from Shawshank redemption. I was a sucker for soundtracks, and I loved the composer Thomas Newman. I was always hyper and could never get to sleep easily, so I used the music of Thomas Newman to move me to shut my eyes. As I hummed, I tried to picture how the music would actually go in my head; the piano, the strings, and the cello. So quickly did I drift away from my wooden hell; I began to dream about the tree; the tree in the middle of the green meadow; the blue skies and the blotchy clouds. I took a deep breath and I could almost smell the fresh air.
Cold, but comfortable I slowly drifted off into once again a disturbing slumber; a painful slumber. I could feel my head pounding, and my body aching. My face was swollen, my jaw ached. The brand on my upper thigh was pulsing. Still leaning back against the wall, sitting Indian style with m
y head down, I shivered and tried to catch some zzz's.
It wasn't long until once again Paige emerged down the wooden steps. More beautiful than the Venus DE Milo, she was a vision of angelic proportions. Maybe I was over exaggerating a bit because she was the only one providing comfort, but either way, she was a good distraction to the chaos my life had so recently become.
Paige came bearing gifts as she promised. As quickly as I stood up and raised my arms, she placed the toothbrush, toothpaste, and MP3 player equipped with headphones into my hands. I clutched them closely to my heart as if they were the greatest gifts that I had ever received in my life. I placed the MP3 player onto my bed and went to the sink. I vigorously began to brush my teeth.
Blood dirt and grit inhabited my mouth. I wanted nothing more than to wash away the pain and the grief. I brushed fiercely. I tried to scrub away the pain, the hate, and the fear. In the end, all I felt was just a clean mouth. Everything else still remained.
I leaned over the sink rinsing out my mouth, both hands lying on each side. Paige walked up to me and put one hand on my right shoulder. She leaned in close, and I could smell her scent. She whispered into my ear, "I will see you in the morning. I wish I could say that the rest of your day will be good, but I know it will be not. Please stay strong." She stepped over the chain that was binding my right arm and ascended up the wooden steps. Her presence, her energy had left the room. I finished rinsing my mouth and sat back down on my bed. I placed both the ear buds into my ears and listened to what Clive had to offer.
The sound that began to enter my ears was a new one. It was uplifting, and prideful. It was bold, and filled with beats. It made me want to be the hero. It made me want to rise against all. I could not understand how such a dreadful man could listen to such beautiful music. Though my stomach was empty and I felt so very weak, the strength was pulsating through my ears and into my veins. There were many artists that were ringing into my ears that night. The one I most became adapted to was, Two Steps from Hell, and their album Invincible. It was boldness, honor, strength, and beauty all rolled into one. I laid down onto my bed and covered myself with my comforter. Ear buds in my ears and listening to this new bold venture that I just begun to learn. I called it epic rock. I enjoyed it so very much. I knew Clive Dross very little. Listening to his music though, I felt as if I knew him a little bit more personally. As the music played on I stared off into the emptiness of my room. I watched as a light slowly diminished into darkness. After the darkness had conquered all, I finally let my eyes slowly melt. I finally succumbed to sleep. My mind was raging with the activities to come in the morning. I could think of nothing more but my mother. I saw her there all alone and by herself. I did not want them to lay one hand on her. I knew the operation would not be easy, but I had to survive it. I smiled as I heard good tunes, and felt the strength that they were giving me.
I hadn't even heard the call of the rooster before they came and got me. It wasn't Paige, but rather Barrett Jackson and his evil little sidekick Clive Dross. It was quick and without hesitation. Barrett shoved the gun into my face while I was lying on the bed. He ripped the ear buds out of my ears, and sternly said, "if you need to go now, get on that pot and go now or forever hold your peace." My chained hands slowly slid above my head. I did as I was instructed. I did have to go, but I wished I did not have to go in front of a crowd. I got out of bed, and walked to the toilet, arms still raised high. I wasn't sure who would get me in the morning, so the night before, I had made sure I was fully clothed. For extra warmth, I began to make a habit of sleeping with my hoodie on. Barrett, still with had the gun pointed at my face, and Clive, was pleasantly sneering at me like a nincompoop. I wanted so badly at that point to rip off his face, but no such luck. Barrett would probably squeeze off a few rounds even before I could get there. I figured I should just pee instead.
Both men were staring at me. Clive was an idiot, and Barrett, well Barrett's face was unreadable as usual. I looked into Barrett eyes and pulled down my pants. For some reason, it was an odd reason, Barrett never left my eyes. He never looked down at my exposed body. It was strange, but I felt safety in that. He wasn't there to violate me in that way. Clive, well that boy was a different story. I would have to keep one eye open with that man, but I at least I knew that Barrett wouldn't let it happen.
After my business was taken care of, my chains were unhooked from the room, and the two boys walked me up the wooden steps. As I reached the mouth of my dungeon, Barrett nudged Clive to remind him to place the bag over my head. I was able to see the inside of the barn. It was big, complete with empty horse stalls and bales of hay. There were no animals though.
The rafters were high, and the wood was old and worn from water and weather damage. They had left the barn doors open. The sun was rising, but it had not yet risen over the horizon. I could barely see, but I caught a glimpse of the sky. The pink burning haze was slowly ascending, melting the blackness. It had been forever since I was able to see the rising sun. As I caught the last glimpse of the beauty, the bag was placed over my head and once again I was surrounded by darkness.
Clive and Barrett were in a hurry. They quickly pulled my chains as I tried my best to follow. I stumbled, and nearly fell a few times. I could feel the anticipation in their steps. They, as well as I, was very nervous about the day's events.
We once again entered the house, and I smelled coffee and breakfast. My stomach rumbled. I thought of a big plate of scrambled eggs with a side of ketchup. As they drug me downstairs, I thought of another side, hash browns. My mouth began to water.
When we reached the foot of the steps, it seemed as if they were taking me to the interrogation room. But we didn't stop; we continued a few steps further. A door was opened, and I could see a seeping white light through my head bag. I stood there for a while; hands still chained lying by my sides.
Patiently, I stood. I didn't realize how cold it was, until the hairs on my arms began to stick up. There were voices in the room. I could hear Barrett's, and Clive's, and who I believed was Dr., Cole.
I was hungry, sore, and still shaken up from the beating I had received. Anything and everything the voices were saying was not quite registering into my mind. I heard the door open, and then close. Then, there was silence. Another body mass it seemed, had entered the room, for I heard it shuffling around. I patiently waited for my destiny.
The bag was removed from my head, and my eyes tried to adjust to the light. Dr. Sebastian Cole was in front of me. His dark eyes so elegantly placed behind his thin framed glasses. His neatly cut goatee reminded me of a young Santa Claus. He had his doctors coat on, and was ready for business.
"Lillian, I am going to unchain you now." He said as he went side from side unlocking my writs cuffs. He once again emerged into my eyesight. "You're not good to try anything stupid are you?"
Solemnly I stood and shook my head. "No."
"Good." He then took my right hand, and led me to the hospital bed.
I sat down on the bed, feeling the comfort of a real mattress. It was way better than the wooden plank I was sleeping on.
Dr. Sebastian Cole put a gown into my lap. "Please take off your clothes and put this on." He said as he went to his table filled with scalpels, and other devices that made me want to puke.
I didn't think he really needed to check the table. I figured he already knew what was on it. I figured he just wanted to give me some space so that I could change. Either way, I followed suite and began to undress.
I pulled up my pants leg on each side and undid my boot strings. I tossed my boots into the corner, and stood up. I undid my belt, and slowly removed my pants. The room was cold and I was growing goose bumps everywhere. I removed my hoodie jacket, and threw it in the corner with my boots and pants. I placed my hands at the bottom of my Pontiac Trans Am Fire-bird T-shirt. It was clean, but splotched and stained with blood. I slowly I pulled it up and over my head. I threw it in the corner with the rest of my junk. I was in nothing but
my bra and panties, and I felt so naked. Of course with Paige, It was a different story. Dr. Cole, still examining his tools of destruction, his back to me, waited patiently. I undid my bra quickly, and threw it in the corner, pulling the gown over my body. I sat back down on the bed. "Done sir."
Dr. Cole quickly turned around, and helped me up onto the bed. I was shivering, so he covered me with blankets. I could see, almost a childish smile slither across his face. From what I knew, this procedure had been done many times before, but no one survived. I was the healthiest of Dr. Cole's patients, or so they told me. I could see victory gleaming in his eyes. He was almost beaming with satisfaction.
I smiled, and looked at the old man. "Don't get your hopes up too soon guy. You ain't given me the scalpel yet."
He continued to prep for surgery. "I have good thoughts about you, young one. Your journey will be tough, but I know you will survive."
I felt the prick. I felt woozy. I tried to focus my eyes on Dr. Cole, but his image became blurry. He began to say something, and I tried so very hard to pick it up.
"Your face will be worked on first. You'll have a multiple surgeries. Try not to fret little girl, for the next month or two you will be asleep?"
In and out, and out and in. That was where the pain began. The scalpel tears into my skin. The fading moon and rising sun, and my challenge has now just begun.
My eyes were closed and my mind was gone, but my thoughts were racing. My heart was pounding. Though my eyes were closed, I felt every penetration, every intrusion, and every incision that was made. I struggled so very hard in my mind to keep the scalpel away from my skin. I battled with Dr. Cole, I tried to push him away, and I tried to keep myself pure. In the end, I just gave in. There were two places I could be; the place of hell, burning, or the place of green grasses and Meadows of sanctuary.
I felt comfort in my mind. The oblivion that I was so recently sentenced to did not seem to be such a bad place. I could be anywhere at any time. The only problem was that I consistently felt pain. It could be under my favorite tree, or the in the meadow that set me free, but either way I was pain. I was in a world created of crazy dreams. I was in a world that I had never seen before. There were trees, and/or green grasses and blue lakes, but then there was pain and chaos, and fire. I couldn't stand the pain. My skin was burning. I wished there was an angel to take it all away.
There was a series of light filled tunnels that I flew through. There was light, and there was darkness. I saw myself in the corner of a dark room sitting down, knees up to my chest, swaying back and forth. My head was buried into my legs. The pain throughout my journey was consistent. I remember my face was on fire, my chest, and my arms, followed by my upper thighs. In the end the pain ended up in my knees, my feet, and then slowly diminished.
It was hard to tell when things began, and when they ended. I was in and out of consciousness for who knows how long. My breathing was heavy and erratic. My skin was always on fire, and I always felt so very nauseous. In and out of my sweat filled sickness, I would catch glimpses of Paige. She would be there by my side, cooling me off, or giving me medicine, but always, always trying to keep me comfortable.
I spent who knows how long battling fever. In an out of unconsciousness, and disturbing feverish sleep. I was surrounded by echoes of uncertain voices, and worried tones. The fever finally broke and my eyes opened clear and conscious for the first time?
The Switchblade Mamma Page 6