9.
After Paige had left, I sat down on my bed and stared off into the nothingness. I put the ear buds into my ears and started to listen to the music that Paige had added to my MP3 player. My favorite soundtracks were there, followed by my favorite bands. It was strange how she knew me so well. I continued to stare; my eyes begin to drift downward. I looked at my wrists, and the chains that I was bound by. I followed the chains as they stopped at an eye loop that was screwed into the wooden planks. I got up off my bed and got on all fours and crawled to the eye loop. I touched it with my hand. I grasped it with my Palm, and tried very hard to turn it. I thought if I could unscrew it, then I was at least halfway out. I thought, that if they were to come to me by the morning, and I got out, then at least I would be out and running and found some sort of authority figure by then.
I tried with all my might to unscrew the loop. The pain was exploding in my palm, but I continued to try to turn it. I tried every position possible. I began to sweat. I thought if I only had something to hammer it with. My eyes grew wide, and my head slowly turned to my Doc Martin steel toed boots that were sitting next to my bed. I got up quickly, grabbed one of my boots, and started to bash the side of the metal loop with it. Blow after blow, and nothing. I needed more force. I looked around the room to see if there was anything else that I could use. Nothing. My heart sank. As I was going to give the loop one final blow, I heard noises upstairs. I tossed the boot in the corner and shot myself back to my bed. I shoved the ear buds into my ears and waited patiently as the unknown visitor creeped and creaked down into my dungeon.
Dr. Cole descended down the squeaking wood steps. He walked up to me slowly, casually, and asked, "May I sit down next to you?"
I pulled the ear buds out of my ears, and motioned for him to sit.
We sat there in silence for a bit. He sat motionless. He was wearing blue jeans, and pretty dress shoes, complete with a blue shirt, lined with white pinstripes. Dr. Cole was wearing a simple jacket. He pulled out of the pocket of his jacket, a small case. He unzipped it, and revealed the syringe. Holding it in his hands, he turned his head to me but continued to stare at the floor. "Do you know what this is?"
I remembered in the hospital room, I was administered many shots. Only one, one of which I received once a week, contained pink fluids. The syringe that Dr. Cole held in his hands at the moment, contained a pink fluid.
"Lillian, do you know what this is?"
"Looks like mopping solution, but yeah, I know what it is."
He could not help but smile a bit. "Yes, this is the cocktail. You will require weekly shots of this. Without it, you will slowly die a terrible death."
I lowered my left eyebrow and raised my right one. "Gee Doc; you sure know how to make a girl feel good."
It had to have been at least late afternoon. The sun was creeping through the old wooden planks that were considered my roof. There was a slight flurry of dust fluttering throughout the room that was reflected by the sunlight. Dr. Cole continued on with whatever he was saying. I phased it out. I had the greatest ability to space out on the most important conversations of my life. Someone could be telling me that I was going to die in the next five minutes. As soon as they started in their conversation, I would space out and start thinking of something else. Dr. Cole's mouth continued to move, and I heard not one word of his voice. I started focusing on the new hardware that was placed inside my body. I was visually pinpointing every plate that was pinned to every part of my insides. It wasn't until he shook me lightly that I finally came to.
"Lillian, are you even listening to me?!"
Still staring off into space I shook my head. "Yeah, sorry Doc, you kind of lost me there."
"The contents of the syringe are a mix of lubricants, steroids, and amino acids to keep you going. At any point you stop getting this cocktail, you will have about a few weeks to live before your body completely seizes up and your heart stops."
"Seriously?" Finally, the bulk from my mind disappeared and my thoughts became focused.
"Lillian, I can be no more serious on this matter." Dr. Cole shifted a bit on my bed.
I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Is there anything else you'd like to inject me with Doc? Some hot lava maybe, or some dog poop?" I stood up from my bed and looked down on Dr. Sebastian Cole. If there were a soapbox there, I would have gone on top of it. "Or, maybe you would like to shove the kitchen sink up my ass!"
"Lillian, please calm down."
Both my eyebrows rose, as well as my temper. I used the rays from the sun peeking through the planks of wood as my spotlight. Yes, in my tiny dungeon, for the time being, that I called my home, and for the little time that I had spent there, it seemed as if later in the afternoon was the nicest part of day. Still on my imaginary soapbox, I wanted so very much to create hell. At the to be top of my boiling point, when I thought I could not take any more, the steam just released and flowed out of me. I sat back down on the bed next to Dr. Cole, calm and collective. It finally, like an airplane carrying a banner of information behind it, entered my mind and said, this man is just trying to help. He is either being paid very well, or in the same predicament as I.
He didn't say anything at first. He just stared off into oblivion. I could tell he was a man that had much on his mind. He was a doctor of much bullshit. Who knew how many girls he'd operated on, or treated? All I knew was, I saw fear painted on his face. He was wore out, and tired. I thought he was at the point where money couldn't even buy him anymore. He had been in it for too long, seen too much suffering. The wrinkles on his nose, the bags under his eyes became apparent. I thought his beard had turned white from all of the bullshit.
"Lillian," he said, "can I just give the injection now please?"
I smiled and nodded and offered my vein from my right arm because it was the only big one I had. "Stick it in doc, give me that juice." I smiled as he slid in the syringe. I winced once I felt the pinch as it entered my skin.
It was in and out. I used both my arms to push me back up against the wall as I felt the coldness injected into my arm. It was a strange high. As I felt the cocktail enter my body, I raised my head up to look at the ceiling, and I took slow deep breaths. My mouth was open, and I was inhaling all the floating dust particles that were in the room. If I was in any pain before that moment, it dissipated in a flash. At that point, I had felt as if I had drank six beers at once. I had never done drugs my life. Well, yeah I smoked pot, but who hasn't? It was nothing like this.
Dr. Cole got up, put the empty syringe back into his bag, and placed it into his pocket. Without word he began to leave. I knew I had been given the shots before but I had never felt like this. I had to ask before he left, why was this stuff so strong?
"Dr. Cole, why do I feel this way?" It took a lot for me to get it out, my whole body was on a high.
Dr. Cole placed one foot on the staircase, and then turned around and looked at me. "There are, my dear, many levels of the cocktail. This is now the highest. The first couple of injections yes, will be like this. You soon will adapt my dear child." A slow smile lifted his white beard. He turned around and faced the staircase. With that he walked back up.
If my mind were a butterfly, it swiftly fluttered away with the wind. Dr. Cole's body slowly dissipated itself into a strange fuzzy darkness. All the noises of the entire room, seemed to melt away like candle wax. Leaning up against the wood wall, my head tilted up toward the ceiling, my mouth wide open. All I could hear was my breathing. In and out, and in and out. My eyelids became heavy like anvils and as they slowly closed. My body slowly slid down to lay on my right side. Deep slumber was imminent.
The Switchblade Mamma Page 8