I shout. The air is too hot, but it urges me on.
When I eventually stop, I feel sick, dizzy, lightheaded. For a moment, I think a tree’s moving toward me, and I balk.
But, no, it isn’t.
Of course it isn’t.
I frown. I can’t remember the last time I ate. Am I hallucinating? Did I imagine Three?
The Seer instability?
My stomach lurches.
I try to calm myself, take a deep breath, but I can’t.
I don’t know what to do.
Except find Three…if he was here.
Maybe he’s gone to see Esther and Toivo. The thought flies at me.
Yes. That’s where he’ll be.
I turn to my left, see the settlement up there, in the near distance.
I walk back, feel numb, empty.
But it will be okay. It will.
Will it?
What if you get back and find everyone dead?
I inhale sharply.
No.
That won’t happen—hasn’t happened. I’d feel something.
Wouldn’t I?
If I was the last Untamed alive, I’d know… I’d have to know.
But déjà vu fills me as I get to the settlement, as I run to the nearest building, throw the doors open. A pounding, ominous darkness.
Complete silence, inside.
What the—
No…no…no….
Why did I run away?
Why?
Then I see it.
A shape in the dark. A person.
A body.
No.
I inhale sharply, lunge to the left, grab the candle—because this room is old, no electricity here. The wax is cold in my hands, but it lights as I touch it. My powers…they’re a little stronger and—
Long, black hair, glossy in this light. Broad shoulders, long arms, legs.
Quinn.
Her body.
No….
I say her name, and my voice wobbles.
She moves.
Her body trembles.
Then I’m running.
I reach her side, try to roll her over, don’t understand…but her body’s locked up, locked into that shape, a fetal position. Sweat drips from her, and her face is shiny, glistens with it. She sees me—there’s recognition in her eyes, but then her eyes roll, and the sclera takes over.
Only it’s not white, like it should be. It’s a pale gray.
Her whole body convulses.
My stomach twists, and I shout for help—what do I do? Try and hold her still, but I—
I’m freezing.
Quinn.
My daughter.
Is she dying? Is this death?
How quickly do they die? Raleigh would drag it out, wouldn’t he?
The others… I need to find them….
Corin.
“Mum?” Quinn whispers.
Mum.
The word pulls me closer, feels like it’s wrapping around my heart.
“Quinn? Quinn?” My voice is frantic, and my hands are on her, trying to do something, to help. Because I have to. I have to.
She’s cold, so cold, sweating so much.
Her eyes are back—still Untamed.
Untamed until death.
“It’s okay,” I whisper. Even though I know it’s not. But you’re supposed to comfort people in times like this, aren’t you?
“Gods, I want them,” Quinn rasps.
“Want what? Quinn? What do you need?”
Her eyes drift out of a focus, and she tenses. I hold onto her, panic rising in me.
Then her body slackens.
“Get…Siora,” she gulps.
“Siora? Where is she? But isn’t she…” Dying too?
“Main…main building,” Quinn pants.
“She’s not dying as well?” I stare at her.
Siora? Why’s Siora different? Unless Quinn’s wrong?
Quinn laughs a little, then flinches. “I’m not dying… It’s not the end… This… Siora told you! Since Raleigh had me…I get like this. It’s the fear and—and something else. But Siora can help. Please! Just get my sister.”
The fear and something else.
I stare at her. “Raleigh’s doing this to you?” Rage boils inside me. It wasn’t just Quinn’s fear of Raleigh before? It was more? I think of how ill he made Corin. He’s controlling her, making her like this—in such a way we couldn’t detect it? No red dots? And, this time, it’s so much worse than before.
She shakes her head. “Not him… Not this—it’s the augmenters. The effects of them.”
Augmenters? I frown. “I thought you got out before that? Before the conversion?”
Tears squeeze out from the corners of her eyes. “I can’t fight it. I can’t. I need them. I’m not like you.”
Addiction? I stare into her mind, but I can’t see any. No active addiction—not like there was with Taras.
Because she hasn’t had one for a long time?
Because only she can fight this?
She’s addicted.
Like I was.
“You can fight this,” I say. “You will.”
“I can’t! And I’m scared he knows where I am—and I know we’re safe, but it’s just making it worse, all the worry. It’s making it stronger, and I want augmenters!”
“No, come on.” I hold her tighter. “It’ll be okay. You’re strong. You can do this. And you are safe—Raleigh can’t get to us here.”
She whimpers. “Just get Siora.”
But I can’t let go of her. I physically can’t. My arms won’t let me. It’s like something’s controlling me—my future self—and I’m choosing her, holding onto her, being her cage. Being there for her, even though I haven’t yet told Corin or decided to become their parents.
So instead I scream.
We’re near other buildings, and I pray not everyone else is still in the meeting room on the other side of the settlement. Pray with every ounce of my soul.
Footsteps, clattering.
People burst into the room.
“Get Siora!” Quinn yells.
“Do it!” I shout.
Then everything’s a blur. Siora seems to appear instantly, but, at the same time, I know it takes minutes. Agonizing minutes, watching Quinn convulse again in my arms—because of the withdrawal?
“Let me have her,” Siora says, nudging me aside.
My arms release Quinn, and I stagger back against Elf, who grabs me, rights me.
I watch Siora as she draws on her Seer powers.
Powers.
Oh Gods, what if I’ve—
I can’t finish the thought. Can’t.
My vision swims. I shut my eyes, concentrate on my breathing, count my breaths.
But then the air gets lighter, and Siora and Quinn are speaking.
“She’s okay,” Siora says to me. She’s standing in front of me now. She still had the vital power. Thank the Gods.
I stare at her. “What…” My lips feel too big, numb. I can’t make out the words.
“Augmenter withdrawal,” Siora says. “Raleigh tortured her more than me. She gets these…phases. I can get her out of them, but they’re getting worse each time now.”
I touch my hair, run my hands through it, feel sick, remember how ill Quinn looked when we were practicing Seer power transplants. Was that because of this? Because of the addiction? She’s in withdrawal still?
Why didn’t I realize?
I should’ve realized.
My head drops into my hands, and I breathe hard. Then I straighten up. I need to be strong.
I need to be there for her. For—
I look around.
I’m the only one in here.
What?
I frown, vaguely remember the others leaving. That happened, didn’t it? I frown, I think it did.
I rub my eyes, and—
A figure stands in the doorway.
I jump, heart pounding, ready to face R
aleigh, and—
It’s not Raleigh.
It’s Corin.
I stare at him.
“When were you going to tell me?” His voice is low, and he takes a step forward, toward me.
“Tell you what?”
“Siora and Quinn.” His gaze is dark. “I know who they are.”
I stare at him, my head all light and fuzzy.
He knows?
I take a step forward, then stop, don’t know what I’m doing.
“How did you find out?” My voice is small.
“Elf told me.”
I exhale hard.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice is softer, and I look at him, the hard lines of his face. No anger? No annoyance? “Sev, we said we wouldn’t keep secrets from each other. We agreed to that. So why?”
I stare at him. How is he so calm? “Because—don’t you understand what this means?”
“What?”
Oh Gods. He’s going to make me spell it out.
I back away from him, turning, feel like I’m unraveling.
“Where are you going?”
“I can’t do this right now,” I say.
“Do what?”
I turn on him, throw my hands in the air. There’s melted wax on one of them. “Because it changes us. We have children. It changes our relationship. That’s why I didn’t tell you! I didn’t want things to change between us. Not when we’ve not got long.”
But that sounds stupid, I know it does. Things have changed. I think of the last two nights, how I could barely touch him.
Because I was scared—not of him, but because everything was changing around me, and I had no control. And I’m supposed to be in control. I’m the powerful Seer who’ll save everyone.
Corin walks up to me, stops right in front of me. So close we’re practically touching.
Except we’re not, and that feels important.
“Why would it change anything?” he asks. “We love each other, right?”
I nod, and it feels like I’m breaking.
“So why would it change things?” Corin shakes his head, frowning. “Why would we let it change things?”
“Because it means we have to sleep together before we die.” I look away, feel silly. It’s not like we weren’t going to—is it? Part of me is sure we would have if Siora and Quinn hadn’t revealed their secret. That first night in our room.
I swallow hard. If I hadn’t known, I’d have wanted to. I’m sure.
Just thinking about it makes me feel even sillier—because it’s Corin. Corin, whom I love.
But it’s pressure, and it makes it not feel right when otherwise it would’ve been. I have to get pregnant, and the whole thing feels way too much like the Zharat customs for my liking.
“You think this puts pressure on us? Sev, it doesn’t—”
“It does! It means I’m pregnant when the war ends. And that can’t be far away now.”
My chest tightens, and Corin starts laughing. Actually laughing.
Annoyance flits through me. “If you think this is funny, you can go.”
He stops, abruptly. “But, Sev, you’re not pregnant when the war ends. There’s no pressure for us to do anything now.”
“What?” I stare at him.
“Didn’t you ask Siora and Quinn?” He runs his hands through his hair. “Sev, we’re there together. Both of us are in Death’s realm. They’re born there, but years later.”
Every part of me tightens. My vision wobbles. “No. You can’t be there. It’s solitary confinement. It’s….”
“Don’t you see? This means we find a way around it.” He’s smiling, making me want to smile too. “We must do. I’m there too, Sev. You’re not seventeen when we have children. You’re twenty-seven.”
Twenty-seven.
Ten years from now. Ten years.
Corin looks at me, shakes his head slightly. “You’ve been panicking this whole time? Letting fear change you? Gods. No wonder you’ve been so tense around me.” He laughs again.
I flinch. “Don’t laugh.”
“Sorry.” He reaches out for my hand, and I let him take it. “Why didn’t you just ask them when they were born?”
“Because I didn’t think you could be there.” A fluttery feeling rolls through me. “It never occurred to me. Death always said I’d be alone.”
He smiles. “But we’re going to find a way to cheat Death himself.” He squeezes my hand tighter. “Still, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this.” But his voice is still light.
“Corin, I was worried. I didn’t know how you’d react. I didn’t even know how I was reacting. I didn’t want it to change anything.”
“It’s okay.” He draws me closer, arms going around me. “You know that, yeah? This isn’t going to change anything between us. Even if Siora and Quinn were supposed to be born nine months from now, I wouldn’t sleep with you.”
“What?”
“It wouldn’t feel right, wouldn’t be right. Not like this. There’d be too much pressure. I’d rather change the future than that.” His eyes seem to swallow me as I tilt my head, look at him. “But this is good, because it shows us there is hope.”
“Hope?” I whisper. “What about everything else though? Corin, all the Untamed are bound to the Enhanced—and I can’t bring the others here yet.”
“You will though.”
“What if it’s too late when I can though?” And I think of Siora and Quinn. They know who wins. All this time, have they been laughing at my futile attempts, knowing what fate holds, what my actions will lead to?
Corin’s arms around me get tighter, more secure. “Then we’ll be dead, and it will no longer be a problem. And then I guess you’ll die, end the war completely, and we’ll be together because we know I’ll find Death’s realm.”
I sigh. “I don’t know what to do. What to do now.”
“We’ll discuss it. The others have calmed down.”
“I can’t go back there.” I shake my head. “They hate me.”
“They don’t. They were just shocked. But there’s hope. We can still do something.”
“We can’t.”
He pulls back from me, just enough so we can see each other clearly. “If there’s hope for us, then there’s hope for all the Untamed. We have to believe it, Sev. We’re not giving in. We will survive. All of us. And, you and I, we’ll always be together.”
Corin’s right. The others have calmed down. There’s no shouting, but there are a lot of glares, and many people are outright ignoring me as I walk through the settlement. Dominika and Martina even take exaggerated steps out of my way.
I try to hold my head up, force the feelings of unease away. Corin’s right—it’s important I show my face.
Taras and Elf fall into step with us. I glance at Elf, expect to feel annoyance at him, because he told Corin about Siora and Quinn—but I don’t. I just feel relief, like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
“Do not worry,” Taras says. “By the morning, your powers will likely have settled and your mind healed. You’ll be able to unite us all then. We can discuss it all then, properly.”
So long as the Untamed aren’t all dead by then.
I swallow hard. “So we don’t do anything until the morning?”
“Best to give them more time,” Taras says.
Corin squeezes my hand. “There’s always hope, remember.”
“Indeed, there is,” Taras says. He looks at Corin. “Make sure she gets enough sleep tonight. Her Seer powers will settle and be usable quicker, if she’s well-rested.”
Brief annoyance flitters through me. Why’s he telling Corin this, giving him instructions and not me? How can he actually expect me to sleep tonight? My gut churns and churns with worry.
Raleigh could so easily win. All he’s got to do is find some Untamed, challenge them, and we’ll react. We’re taught to fight them, to never give in. Untamed kill Enhanced. It’s what we do, it’s how we’ve sur
vived this long.
“The chances of an Untamed killing an Enhanced One before tomorrow morning are slim.” Elf holds the door open.
“But there are so many of us. There were four hundred I connected to.”
“Exactly,” he says. “Think about it, logically. There’s what, fifty here? And you saw another fifty children get killed? That leaves three hundred out there. That’s tiny. It’s not like we’re populating all the corners of the earth. We’re in hiding. We’ve just got to survive one more night undetected. We’ll do it easily. Untamed are good at hiding.”
I know he’s just trying to reassure me. They all are. I smile gratefully, they’re on my side.
A few minutes later, Elf heads off to find Bea, and Taras says he must consult Marta’s stories once more in privacy.
Corin snorts. “How much meditation does he need to do? I reckon he’s using it as an excuse to nap or go to bed early.”
I shake my head, the ghost of a smile on my face.
My smile fades, minutes later, when I see who’s waiting outside our room.
Siora and Quinn.
Corin and I glance at each other, and my heart does a strange little fluttery thing.
We come to a stop, hand-in-hand, and look at them. Quinn keeps her gaze down, but I can see the muscles in her face tighten. I look to Siora, find her looking around the corridor. She shifts her weight from foot to foot several times.
“Do you want to come in?” I ask them.
“No,” Quinn says, her voice blunt, just as Siora nods.
They look at each other, then we look at each other, me and Corin.
The four of us are silent. Just silent. It feels strange, like the air’s too thick and humid as it’s confronted with a situation that shouldn’t exist. Two timelines merged together.
“Well, this is odd,” Corin finally says. “This is—”
“I’m sorry,” Siora cuts in. “Elf shouldn’t have told you.” She presses her hands together, rubs them, then wrings them out.
“No, I’m glad,” Corin says.
Quinn sniffs, then clears her throat. “You’re barely older than us. This is weird.”
“No.” Corin shakes his head. “It gives us hope. We end up together, because we have to have you two in Death’s realm. A happy ending.”
Siora and Quinn glance at each other.
A happy ending.
Destroyed Page 33