Hot SEAL, April's Fool

by Becca Jameson

  “I hope so, but I’m not sure how that’s going to help me with the debt my dad managed to accrue over months of gambling.”

  “Don’t be so sure. There may be a way out of it. Give me a few more days. It’s hard to keep the case moving forward since my boss is in Chamberlain’s pocket. He puts up roadblocks at every stage, but he can only do so much. Eventually, he won’t be able to keep up the ruse.”

  “I’m glad you’re getting close, but I leave in two days either way. I don’t have a choice. I have to be back on base Sunday night.”

  “Understood. Worse comes to worst, I’ll keep you informed from here. And Cole, I can keep an eye on the shop for you while we work this out. It’s not like Chamberlain can strongarm you into signing over a deed that’s in your name while you’re not in town.”

  Cole rubbed his forehead. “True. What a fucking mess.” He inhaled deeply. “Listen, I hate to leave, but I need to find April. I’m worried about her.”

  “Of course. Go. I’ll call you if anything changes.”

  Cole turned to leave but then glanced over his shoulder. “And Rodney, figure out how Chamberlain got those pictures of April he sent to Dewey’s phone while he was fucking holding her.”

  “On it.”

  Cole took the steps down to his car two at a time, a sense of urgency spurring him forward. He didn’t drive nearly as fast as he’d driven to get to the mayor’s house, but he still pushed the speed limit to get to April’s apartment.

  Unfortunately, her car wasn’t anywhere around, and when Cole went inside, he saw no evidence she’d been there either. He pulled out his phone and sent her a text.

  Where are you?

  He shuddered as the text went through. That was the same question he’d asked her an hour ago as his spine tingled with fear. He felt every ounce of that fear again now, especially since she didn’t respond.

  His panic took a new direction. He was no longer afraid for her life. Now, he was afraid she didn’t want to see him or talk to him. And he couldn’t blame her. Not only had he inadvertently gotten her into this mess, but he’d also lied to her by omission, lies she’d undoubtedly heard from Violet.

  He dropped onto April’s couch and leaned his head in his hands, trying to think. Where could she be? The only place he could imagine to look next was her parents’ house. Would she go there?

  Chapter 15

  April held herself partially together during the drive to her childhood home, just enough to avoid getting in an accident. But she was full-on crying when she opened the front door, sending her mother into a complete panic when she found her in the kitchen.

  “April? What happened, sweetie?” JoAnn McKay wrapped her daughter in her arms and held her tight. “Is someone hurt?”

  April shook her head, crying harder now that she felt safe and could let it all go. “No,” she managed to murmur as she continued to cry.

  It took her a while to finally pull herself together enough to stop sobbing and wipe her face with a pile of tissues. “I’m so sorry, Mama, but I just can’t talk about it right now. I needed someplace to go, so I came here.”

  “Of course, sweetie. You know you can always come here, no matter what.”

  More tears fell. “I just want to lie down for a while and think. I promise no one is sick or dying. Just my heart.”

  “Is this about Cole?” her mother asked. She’d been at the funeral. She knew that Cole was in town. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that his presence could upset April, especially after everything April had gone through ten years ago when he’d left her. No way had her mother forgotten the devastation.

  April swiped at more tears and grabbed another tissue from the edge of the counter. “Yes. And I’ll tell you all about it, but not now. Okay?”

  “Yes. Go lie down in your room for a while. I’ll make some homemade chicken soup for dinner. How does that sound?”

  April forced a smile. “Thank you, Mama.” She shuffled down the hallway toward her childhood room, shut the door, pulled the covers back, and kicked off her shoes. As soon as she had climbed into bed, she wondered if this hadn’t been the worst idea she could have come up with. After all, this room held the majority of her memories with Cole.

  They’d spent countless hours in her childhood bedroom during the three years they’d dated. Homework, listening to music, laughing at each other’s jokes. And having sex. In this bed. Under this same comforter.

  Tears fell again, but she managed to keep them silent now. She was drained. Exhausted. And unable to think clearly. Trying to calm herself, she stared at the wall she’d insisted on painting red during her sophomore year. It had taken five coats of paint before the streaks of white from underneath were no longer visible.

  Cole had helped, never once telling her she was crazy. He’d even gone back to the store with her dad to get another quart when a gallon proved not enough. She managed to smile at the memory. When had he lost faith in her? Was it only after Violet lied to him, or had it been seeping away before that?

  She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, letting sleep drag her under.

  It seemed like moments later when she opened her eyes again to the sound of voices. The sun was almost down. She’d been asleep a while. She stiffened, not moving from her curled-up position as she realized one of the voices was Cole’s.

  She shouldn’t be surprised. Of course, he would come here when he couldn’t find her. She heard a soft knock at her bedroom door, then it opened a few inches.

  “April?” When he caught her gaze, he opened it farther. “Can I come in?”

  She inhaled deeply, not responding.

  He entered fully and shut the door behind him before padding across the room and settling on the edge of her bed, his hand coming to her hip. “I’m so sorry, ladybug. I didn’t mean to get you involved in this mess with Chamberlain. I feel awful about what happened to you today.”

  She sucked in a breath and turned her face toward him. “Today? You think I’m upset about today? How the hell could it be your fault that I went to that fucking asshole’s house? I’m an idiot for getting lured into his trap and even dumber for not telling you where I was going. It was irresponsible and dangerous. That is not why I’m so furious with you.”

  He swallowed. “Violet told you what happened ten years ago, didn’t she?”

  “Ding ding ding. Folks, we have a winner.” She uncurled from her ball and shoved herself to sitting against the headboard, not giving a fuck about the sarcasm oozing in her voice. “I spent over an hour with Violet-the-town-gossip. Did you think she wouldn’t have eventually told me? Granted, who the hell could know if any of what she said was true or not? But she was acting nearly like a normal human today while we were trapped together. I may have even convinced her that her dad isn’t a great guy.”

  “That’s good, I guess.” Cole glanced at April.

  April stared at him. “I don’t give a fuck what she thinks about her dad. Is it true? Did she come to you at the shop that day and tell you that I didn’t want to get married because we were too young and headed in different directions?”

  He winced. “Yes.”

  April sat straighter, nearly shouting. “And you bought that story? From the town gossip?” April gritted her teeth. “Why, Cole? Give me one good reason why you would have fucking trusted that bitch.”

  He ran a hand over his head.

  “I was an idiot. I was scared. She was so believable. She didn’t come at me as if she’d overheard some gossip. She made it seem like she knew something that I already knew.”

  Cole pushed to standing and started pacing. “She winced when she found me and said she was so sorry to hear about you and me. That she thought we were solid and most likely to succeed. I let her ramble because I had no idea what she was talking about. Eventually, she expounded, telling me that she thought you were making a terrible decision letting me go. That you must not be very committed if you didn’t think we could survive the distance and tim
e apart. It went on and on.”

  “And you believed her,” April deadpanned.

  Cole stopped pacing to face her again. “Like I said, I’m an idiot.”

  April scrambled to get out from under the covers so she could stand also. She came at Cole with both hands and shoved him as if she could make him budge. He did at least have the grace to take a step back. “I was so in love with you that I couldn’t see straight. I was overly confident you were going to put a ring on my finger before you left town. You shattered my world and broke my heart.”

  Cole lowered his gaze. “I’m so sorry.”

  April let out a short, frustrated scream. “How the hell could you have believed that woman?” There was no umph in her question. It was more of a statement. She was burned out and so very done with this conversation.

  “There’s no excuse. I was scared. I was also devastated. I thought you loved me. I carried that ring around for weeks. I couldn’t wait to ask you to marry me. The bottom fell out of my life when I found out you weren’t interested in marrying me.” His words came out filled with the same sorrow as hers. Dead.

  April dropped back onto her bed with a sigh of frustration.

  Several seconds ticked by before he spoke again. “I didn’t really know Violet that well. I never paid much attention to her. I don’t think I fully grasped she was so devious and would go to such links to break us up. What was in it for her? It’s not like I was going to ask her out just because you turned me down.”

  April continued to stare at the floor. “She was jealous of what we had, so she thought she would feel better if she ruined it, I guess.”

  “That’s so fucked up.”

  “Not as fucked up as you letting her control our lives,” April added. “Not as fucked up as me hearing all of this from her today when you’ve had five days to tell me yourself.”

  Cole’s hands were shaking. She’d never seen him this shaken up. “I...” He cleared his throat. “When I arrived here, I still didn’t know that she had lied to me, April. I hoped we could get back together under the assumption that you maybe no longer thought we were too young or headed in different directions. I wanted to tell you about that day and why I left. I would have eventually. But… Fuck, April. I thought what you needed to hear from me this week was that I was sorry I took off instead of giving you the space I assumed you needed. All I could see through my narrow glasses ten years ago was that the woman I loved didn’t want to marry me. It occurred to me that maybe you weren’t ready yet. That I was rushing you. That eventually you would have married me. That I should have slowed down and given you more time. I was stupid.”

  April sucked in a breath and met his gaze. “I would have married you that day, Cole. That very day. I would have eloped if you’d asked me. I would have done anything for you. Dropped out of school. Anything. You fucking left without a word. You had one damn conversation with the town gossip and trusted her word over a three-year relationship with me. That stings, Cole. I’m so mad at you.” She dropped her gaze again, crossing her arms, shivering with frustration and anger and loss.

  Silence reigned again for several moments. Finally, Cole spoke, his voice desperate. “Where does this leave us? I’m just as in love with you today as I was ten years ago. Perhaps more. The thought of not having you in my life now that I’ve gotten you back makes my chest hurt. Ladybug?”

  April flinched. “I don’t know, Cole. I need some time to think.” She tipped her head back. “You hurt me. Again.”

  “I know.” Cole took a step forward and stopped. “I spent the last week worried sick about how you would react when you found out what had happened and what an idiot I was. I couldn’t bring myself to ruin what we were building.”

  “When did you realize Violet had lied? Did she tell you that morning? The morning she brought you muffins?”

  He shook his head. “No. You told me actually. Your total confusion about why I left and how much you’d cared about me spoke volumes. It didn’t match with Violet’s gossip, so I realized I’d made a mistake when I listened to her.”

  April stared at him. She couldn’t process all of this. It was overwhelming.

  “I thought you hadn’t wanted to commit to me. It devastated me and left me blinded.” His voice was low, defeated.

  “I’ve never had a single commitment issue when it came to you, Cole. Never. Not then. Not now. You were always the only one for me. Even when you were joking around to hide a pain you never shared with me. Even when you left me. Even when you came back with no explanation. At no point would I have been able to turn you away. But the pile of history between us feels insurmountable right now.”

  “April…”

  She met his gaze again. A tear ran down her cheek. “How could you believe I didn’t love you? Three years. You were my everything. My first in every imaginable step of life. My first boyfriend. My first kiss. My first sexual partner. And you walked away. I spent ten years believing you were the one with cold feet.”

  Cole dropped to his knees in front of her and grabbed her hands on her thighs. “I loved you with all my heart. So much it hurt. The thought of you not being able to return that same love drove me out of town without a goodbye. Even though I considered the fact that maybe you just needed more time, it didn’t make sense to me. I never needed more time. I knew all the way to my bones that you were the one. I was afraid if you told me you wanted to wait a year or two to see how things went between us, I wouldn’t trust you to love me the way I loved you.”

  April extracted a hand to swipe at tears again. “We really fucked this up.”

  “Yes. Mostly me. I fucked this up. I take full responsibility. I’m so sorry. I’m begging you to take me back, to give me a chance to show you every day for the rest of our lives how much I love you.”

  April rubbed her temples. Her head pounded. Everything was a scrambled mess and she couldn’t make rational decisions. “I need some time, Cole.”

  He nodded. “Okay.” His voice was weak. “I have to go back to San Diego on Sunday. I don’t have a choice. I want you with me. I can’t breathe right until we fix this, ladybug,” he whispered.

  “I know,” she murmured in response. “Stay at my apartment tonight. Let me stay here. Give me some time.”

  “Okay.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, holding them against his mouth for longer than necessary. Finally, he rose and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I love you, April. All I can say is how sorry I am for being such a fool. I’m begging you to forgive me and let me love you. Even one more lost day without you is too long.”

  She nodded.

  Cole released her hand and hesitated a moment before finally turning and leaving her alone in the waning light of evening. He shut her door with a soft snick, and she didn’t hear a single word he might have spoken to her parents as he left the house. When she heard the front door close, she flinched. It sounded so final.

  Maybe she was making a mistake. Should she go after him?

  Nope. A mistake would be not thinking this thing through all the way before she made the biggest decision of her life. Dropping everything and following him to San Diego was a huge life decision, one she’d been willing to make earlier just that day. But if he hurt her, it would be hard to return to Alabama with her tail between her legs.

  She dropped onto her side and curled up again, pulling the covers over her. She was glad that her mom didn’t come in and try to talk to her. She needed to think alone. No one could make this decision but her, and she needed to do it on her own without outside influence.

  It was her life that hung in the balance. She needed to weigh the pros and cons and face Cole in the morning. Making him wait any longer would be cruel to both of them, but jumping into something this important after a huge pile of revelations and what essentially amounted to a fight would have been a bad idea too.

  April closed her eyes and drew in deep breaths.

  Chapter 16

  “Good morning,
sweetie,” April’s mother said when April finally padded into the kitchen and slid onto a stool at the island. She was glad she’d always kept several changes of clothing here because the flannel sleep pants and T-shirt had kept her from spending the night dressed in slacks and a blouse.

  She felt like shit. Her hair was a disaster that she had thrown up in a loose bun. Her makeup was nonexistent. Her eyes were still puffy from crying.

  “Thanks, Mom,” she said as her mother slid a mug of coffee toward her, just how she liked it.

  “Can I make you some breakfast? You haven’t eaten anything since you got here.”

  April smiled. “I snuck into the kitchen in the middle of the night and ate some of the chicken soup. Thank you so much for making that, by the way. It hit the spot.”

  Her mom smiled. “Oh good. You can take some of it home with you if you want.” Her voice trailed off. “Not that I’m suggesting you leave, of course. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need.”

  “Thank you. Did Dad already leave for work?”

  “Yes. About an hour ago.”

  Of course. April felt kind of bad that she hadn’t even spoken to him, but she hadn’t been in the mood to speak to anyone.

  “Toast?” her mother encouraged, always wanting to feed people.

  “Sounds great.” April knew she needed something inside her.

  “You want to talk about it?” her mother asked, turning back around after popping bread into the toaster. “I don’t want to pry or anything. I understand if you want to be left alone, but you should know I got the gist of what’s going on. It was kinda hard not to fill in the blanks between Cole arriving here with his tail between his legs and then you two shouting.”

  April winced. “Sorry about that.”

  “It’s okay, sweetie. I just hate knowing that you both loved each other so much and lost ten years together because of a misunderstanding.”