Adrienne paced the room. For five days, Merri kept her confined, bringing Raul to her on the second day only after she demanded to see the boy.
Two guards had been posted outside of her room and she was forbidden from venturing out. Adrienne was informed they would stay for as long as it took to see the matter concluded. She was ordered not to leave the room, nor attempt to communicate with anyone except her guards, Michaels or Captain Mayweather herself.
She was bored, sick of this room and quickly growing frustrated with finding herself once again at the mercy of others. The only thing that kept her sane was the thought that she would see Nicolai again soon and then she would know whether their passion was genuine, as well as whether or not Miles had ruined her for all time. That thought and Raul kept her from wearing the wooden flooring of her rented room down to splinters from pacing.
Since there was nothing else for them to do, Adrienne had resumed her lessons with the boy, who although still did not speak, listened just fine.
She requested copious amounts of vellum stationary, as well as books, primers, quills, and wells of ink. Merri had risen an eyebrow at Adrienne’s request, but Adrienne had informed the other woman that if she and Raul were to be kept confined then Merri could spare the expense to ensure they were occupied. Surprisingly enough, the female captain agreed. The materials were delivered later that same day.
They spent their days with Adrienne instructing while Raul sat silently in attendance, soaking in her every word as she painstakingly directed him through writing his letters. Adrienne supervised as he copied the written alphabet on to his primer board, encouraging him when he got it right and correcting him otherwise.
Aside from that, they napped frequently to dispel the passage of time. She was glad to see the regular meals Captain Mayweather sent up to them had finally begun to take the pallor and the gauntness from the little boy. His face was slowly returning to its former round childlike state, though his eyes remained far too solemn for a boy of not quite five.
When they weren’t napping or learning, she held him on her lap, rocking and singing to him or reading whatever she could get her hands on to entertain them both.
Adrienne had dispensed with binding her breasts, though she kept the practice of wearing boy’s clothing. She found it comfortable and the fashionable dresses Merri offered now that she knew her status, pointless. It was much easier to lounge in britches, which was what her days amounted to since her friend had discovered her worth.
Michaels arrived on the eve of the sixth day, opening her door only enough to stick his head through as she and Raul ate supper together.
“The Chameleon has been spotted just a few kilometers from port. Captain Mayweather wanted to be sure you were aware.”
“Aye, thank you, Michaels,” Adrienne said but the door was already closed. The manner in which the man now treated her upon learning she was Nicolai’s woman was irritating.
Before, he’d treated her mostly as he did his captain; as an equal. Now, he would barely look at her, let alone engage her in conversation, which after six days cooped in this room, was something she desperately craved.
It seemed that they all feared Nicolai to the point that she was now treated as a hothouse flower. They feared their heads should she wilt but didn’t understand that she was indeed wilting despite their efforts to keep her fed and watered. She wasn’t wilting from lack of care, but from sheer boredom.
It was deep in the night when she heard the knob turn and the door swing open. She’d fallen asleep against the headboard of the bed with Raul curled on her lap. Hearing the sound of someone entering her chamber, Adrienne palmed the dagger she carried with her since Merri had taught her how to use it, and remained still. The footsteps grew closer but she kept her breathing even though her arm tightened around the boy she held.
She felt a face lower near hers and she raised the knife so that it pointed directly under the jaw of the invader. “Speak your purpose or I’ll run you through.”
“Tis I, Adrienne,” Nicolai whispered and the knife fell from her hand on to the bed below.
Letting out a low, strangled cry, she threw her free arm around his neck and pulled him close. She did not weep but her body trembled as he wrapped his strong arms around both her and the sleeping child. Scooping both up, he sat back on the bed, holding them in his lap.
“I thought to never see you again,” he whispered into her hair. “Either of you. I vow I will never let you go again.”
Holding tightly to Nicolai, Adrienne breathed in his scent. He smelled of the sea air but also of a spice that was all Nicolai. A unique blend, which had always served to render her weak the moment she encountered it. It did just that now. She kept taking deep breaths, drawing him into her lungs if for no other reason than to convince her brain he was truly here.
Nicolai was doing much the same as the woman he held. His heart raced so hard and so fast, he thought perhaps it might explode from joy at finally having his family back in his arms.
His lips searched Adrienne’s in the darkness, connecting with them softly for several long moments. The desire that was always present when it came to touching the woman he held hit him full force but the fact that Raul lay curled into them both and the knowledge of what she’d been through tempered his passion. He remained gentle as he caressed her mouth with his own until she broke the kiss and buried her face in his neck once more. Nicolai drew away long enough to light the lantern on the bedside table, turning the wick up so that he might see Adrienne and Raul fully.
Adrienne blinked under the onslaught of light which filled the room but once her eyes adjusted she feasted them upon the Russian pirate.
For a handful of long moments they stared at one another, eyes moving over the other hungrily. Nicolai appraised Adrienne ensuring she was unharmed before he shifted his attention to Raul, looking the boy over as well.
“You didn’t harm Merri, did you?” Adrienne asked nervously. “I swear she only treated Raul and I with kindness and care.”
“Nay, though had I not received her missive, I can’t promise what I would have done when I’d heard she had you. Pirates are a conniving lot and I would have naturally assumed she’d kidnapped you for ransom,” he told her bluntly, giving credence to Merri’s claim of retribution.
“She rescued us,” Adrienne said in defense of the lady pirate.
“So I gather, which is why she still breathes along with her crew. How long will it take for you to make ready leave?” Nicolai asked. “I would have you both safely to Nassau as quickly as possible.” And you in my bed, but he left those words unspoken.
Shifting away from him, Adrienne laid Raul carefully down beside her and stood. Nicolai eyed her questioningly as she began to move about the room. Gathering their belongings, Adrienne deposited them in a small canvas bag.
“We can go now, if you’ll carry Raul,” she said, slinging the sack over her shoulder.
Nicolai scooped up the child whose eyes fluttered open at the movement.
“Papa?” The sleepy voice said and Adrienne lost her breath, her knees weakening.
“Aye, boy,” Nicolai whispered down to him. “I’ve come to take you home.”
The child’s audible sigh was heard as he closed his eyes, cuddled closer to Nicolai’s broad chest and slept once more.
She bid Merri and the rest of the crew farewell at the gangplank of the Chameleon, thanking the female captain for all she’d done. Merri was stiff in her arms when Adrienne hugged her.
“Please don’t be cross with me, Merri,” Adrienne whispered against the woman’s hair. “I did not set out to deceive or betray you.”
Merri patted her back gently before she leaned her mouth toward Adrienne’s ear.
“I’m not cross. I will just miss you and I can’t afford to make a weeping mess of myself in front of the men.” The words were low, spoken so only she could hear them.
“Aye, I understand. I shall miss you, dear friend. I will write
often. Perhaps when you venture to Nassau next, you’ll visit,” she told the female captain.
“Aye, perhaps.” Merri pushed her away under the watchful eyes of the crew. “Be gone now, troublesome wench. Your man awaits.”
Adrienne glanced over her shoulder at the sight of Nicolai standing patiently at the bottom of the gang walk. He didn’t rush her, but she could see he was eager to go, nearly as eager as she was.
Raising her hand in final farewell, Adrienne joined Nicolai and with his arm at her back, they ascended the gang walk together.
Damon had opted to bunk with the men for the return voyage affording Raul his own quarters next to Nicolai’s. Upon boarding the ship and placing the boy in the narrow bunk, Adrienne pulled the covers up to his tiny chin as she caressed a hand over his cheek.
Raul turned on his side, sighing in his sleep the way children do when they know at last they are safe. Adrienne felt love well up in her chest for the child who had not only become her charge, but her companion.
Turning to see Nicolai behind her, she smiled softly.
“He hasn’t spoken since the abduction,” she whispered. “Calling you papa was the first words he’s said in months.”
“Was he treated so roughly?” Nicolai asked, lowering his own voice so as not to disturb Raul.
Adrienne nodded looking back at the sleeping form of the child. “Aye. He was, but he was brave. You’d have been proud of your boy.”
“He’s our boy.” The statement was low and firm. “You cared for him, protected him as much as possible while you were both in fear for your lives. That makes him as much yours as he is mine.”
Unable to speak past the lump in her throat, Adrienne merely inclined her head in acceptance. Her heart ached for the child she lost, but Raul had served to keep the worst of the heartache at bay. Aye, the boy was hers and she’d fight to the death to see it stayed as such.
Rising, she took Nicolai’s hand and allowed him to lead her next door to his cabin. She took up a position by the table as he went throughout the room lighting the lanterns but turning them to the lowest setting so that the quarters were bathed in a soft glow.
When the final one flickered to life, Nicolai turned to appraise her, his green eyes glittering like emeralds. “I have to admit though scandalous, I approve of your new choice of clothing.”
Adrienne ran a hand down the close fitting britches nervously. “They are certainly comfortable and afford for easy movement,” she said, swallowing against the dryness of her throat.
“Aye, they do, but they also outline the perfection of your body,” he said, his voice gritty as he honed in on the juncture between her legs. He took a step toward her, his stride predatory in nature, much like the wolf he was named for.
Just as heat began to flood her core at his perusal her mind brought her body’s response to a screeching halt. Mile’s abuse had conditioned her body to freeze at the slightest hint of his arousal and every muscle locked up at the sight of Nicolai coming toward her.
“Nicolai,” she gasped, holding a hand out between them. “I need a moment.”
Confusion warred with desire as he stopped where he stood. His cock strained the fabric of his trousers and his hands wanted nothing more than to strip the cabin boy’s clothing from her delicate body. But, her words and the fear he saw shadowing her blue eyes rooted him to the floor.
“You’re afraid of me?” Try as he might, he couldn’t disguise the pain in his voice at the realization Adrienne feared him. His heart twisted painfully when she dropped her eyes, avoiding his.
“Nay, not afraid of you, exactly. “Just...” she trailed off, words failing her.
Realization hit him in the chest like a battering ram. Her bruises were gone and her body had healed, but the scars her husband left on her soul were still open and raw.
If he had not overheard the conversation between the two men in Charleston while he’d been looking for information on her whereabouts, Nicolai might have mistaken her words for the belief that Adrienne no longer wanted him. As it was, he knew only too well the truth of the matter and the reason behind her hesitation.
Staggering into a chair under the pressure of her words, Nicolai sat heavily, placing his head in his hand. Guilt assailed him. Had he returned home from the voyage when he’d promised perhaps all of this could have been avoided.
Perhaps had he opted to remain home with her rather than leaving at all, both she and Raul would have never found themselves in danger.
He’d chosen piracy and the sea over Adrienne, had done it consciously; willfully, even, in order to prove to both his men and himself that no woman would rule him. His pride and his need to prove his manhood had endangered two of the most precious treasures he’d ever possessed in his miserable life.
Her hand on his shoulder had him looking up into her aqua colored eyes.
“I can see your thoughts, Nicolai,” she said. “There is nothing you could have done. You did not fail me.”
“But I did,” he ground out. “I made the choice to leave you while I chased treasure and tides.”
“You did not ask for me to intrude upon your life as I did. You found me marooned on that island and you saved me. When I was determined to make my own way in Nassau, you gave me an opportunity to do so. Neither of us planned for what transpired between us afterwards, nor did we put upon one another any restrictions. You were a pirate before we became lovers and I did not expect you to change when our relationship did.”
Her words failed to soothe the ache in his chest, because whether or not she had put expectations on him, he knew he would have left regardless of any ultimatums.
Love didn’t come easy for a pirate, especially one as dedicated as he. Those weeks they spent together had softened him so much that his own reluctance to leave her had frightened him. What he should have done was confess his love for her and made her his wife. Fletcher would have had no legal claim on her if Nicolai had married her first, proper channels or nay.
“I failed you, Myshka,” he said, unable to accept her understanding of their relationship. It only made his guilt deeper.
“I failed you and because of that you tremble in fear at the thought of my touch.” He looked away, unwilling to meet her eyes, which were soft with sympathy and compassion for him. He didn’t deserve such things from Adrienne. He deserved her anger and contempt.
“Nicolai, truly,” she said, softly, using her hand to turn his face back towards her. “Look at me. You did not fail me and I am not afraid of you. I do want to be with you. I want to go back to the way things were, but I also need some time to recover a part of myself I lost in the colonies. Marriage to Miles was a very different reality from what you and I shared in Nassau. It will be extremely difficult for me to submit to any man ever again, whether legally or otherwise.”
When his eyes rose to hers again, rather than the pity she feared she would find, his green orbs were filled with rage.
“Make no mistake when I tell you, that bastard will pay for every strike and every tear shed.”
Adrienne chuckled in spite of his anger as she lowered herself into his lap. Nicolai’s arms came around her, his hold firm but non-demanding.
“Aye, well, I’m inclined to hold you to that vow, however, I would just as happily put the matter as far behind me as possible. I am here with you. We are together again and though I may need to relearn my own heart, I do know that I am safer with you in all regard than I ever could be without.”
Nicolai studied the way her eyes searched his. There was love in them, passion even, but there was also fear and a wariness, which she’d never possessed. Their time apart had served to educate her in the ways of how cruel the world could be. Nicolai mourned the loss of her carefree innocence.
“I shall sleep in the mess hall with the men tonight in order to give you space,” he said reluctantly. He felt less than noble but if distance was what she required, he could do no other than give her what she needed.
“Nay,
” Adrienne said. “I don’t want you to leave. I wish to feel you next to me even if I am not yet ready for more. I wish for once that I can close my eyes and feel truly safe. I can only feel that way when I am close to you.”
It would kill him to lie next to her and not seek the comfort of her depth, but if safety were what she asked for, then safety he would provide. He would shelter her a thousand nights in denial of his primitive urges if she so desired. He felt he owed her at the very least, that much.
Nodding, he removed her from his lap and stood.
“I’ll go make sure everything topside is secure and advise the men of our early departure. I’ll be back momentarily.”
Adrienne watched him leave feeling such sadness in her heart. It pained her to deny Nicolai her body. Even though she yearned for his touch, it wouldn’t have been fair for her to lead him to believe all was well and would continue on as it had before her abduction.
Sighing, she stripped herself down to just the blouse she wore, having no other garments to change into for sleeping. How she wished she could go back to that day on the beach with Raul and decide the weather wasn’t so lovely after all.
Nicolai stomped up the stairs to the upper deck cursing himself the entire way. He’d foolishly believed that things could go back to the way they were once he rescued Adrienne. Even knowing the facts of her marriage to Fletcher, he’d still believed. His heart had hoped that he would find her no worse for the wear, but that hope was gone. His little mouse, his Myshka had changed during their time apart; had grown wary, jaded, and unsure of the connection between them.
“You seem in deep thought,” Damon said, interrupting Nicolai’s musings.
“Aye. It’s been a long couple months and a long day as well. Are we prepared to sail at first light?” Nicolai consulted the charts spread out on the table near the helm. The swinging lantern cast a circular glow on the maps that swayed along with the sea under the ship.
“We could sail now if you like,” Damon said. “I’ll happily take first shift at the wheel so you can rest and have a proper reunion with your woman.”
Black Wolf Page 17