by Amiee Louise
“Was it bad?”
Jax’s face is marred with concern for his friend.
“Pretty bad, the state of the hotel room is a clear indication, mate,” Cole replies and gestures to the mess on the hotel room floor.
“Fuck!” Jax curses and runs his hand over the stubble on his chin. “Bollocks!” he curses again. “Shit! I need a fucking drink.”
He goes over to the mini-bar and Marlowe looks at his watch.
“I think we all need some sleep. It’s late. Things always look better in the morning.”
Jax takes a long pull on a large glass of vodka.
“I should stay with him,” I say.
Marlowe stands up and brushes my arm. “It’s better that you stay with Jax, sweetheart. We don’t know what mood he’ll be in when he comes around.”
I look at Marlowe, and he smiles reassuringly.
“Go with Jax, flower, he’ll look after you. I’ll call you in the morning.”
Marlowe kisses my forehead. Jax finishes his drink and wraps his arm around me.
“Come on, love.”
He smiles and leads me out of the room. Jax opens the door of Cole’s hotel room, and we both step in before he closes it behind us.
“I was woken up by Ruby calling your mobile, repeatedly. That’s when I realised you had gone. Ruby was fucking frantic. You hadn’t called her back, and she said she was worried about you. I had to talk her out of coming to get you.” He smirks. “Christ, that woman is a fucking force of nature.” We both laugh for a moment before his face turns serious as he looks at me. “Seriously, though, babe, I was genuinely concerned when I woke up and you were gone.”
I look to the floor.
“I’m sorry, I had to go to him, Jax, I was terrified.”
He sits down on the edge of the bed and pats the space next to him. I sit down beside him.
“He finally opened up to me, Jax.”
“Believe me, that’s a good thing. Sam keeps things bottled up a lot. It usually takes a lot of fucking vodka for him to say what he is really feeling. He is lucky to have you, love, you’re good for him.”
I smile, and there’s a light tap on the door. Jax gets up to answer it, and Marlowe is standing outside.
“Can I come in, Jax?”
Jax nods and Marlowe steps into the room, closing the door behind him.
“How is he, Marlowe?” Jax enquires, and Marlowe nods.
“He is asleep; he should be fine by the morning. I actually came to speak to Peyton, if that’s OK with you?”
Jax nods. “No worries, I’ll go to Lucas’ room, he should still be awake. Will you be OK?”
“I’ll be fine and thanks for tonight, Jax.”
“You don’t have to thank me, you’re one of us now. I programmed all our numbers in your phone, if you need anything at all, love, call me.” He winks and leaves the room.
Marlowe sits in the overstuffed armchair in the corner of the room and steeples his fingers underneath his chin.
“It’s easy for me to see why Sam’s fallen for you. You are beautiful, intelligent; all the boys in the band seem to be taken with you. They have accepted you as one of their own, which is extremely rare. You made an impression on my wife, such an impression that she is already planning her wedding outfit.”
He chuckles, and his dimples remind me so much of Sam. It is actually scary how much they look alike.
“I keep thinking you’re too good to be true. I have to say when Sam told me he’d met someone, I had Cole run a background check on you, but you came up squeaky clean, whiter than white.”
I am actually offended that he did a background check on me when all I have ever done is fall in love with his son.
“I’m sorry for doubting you, Peyton. You must understand that being in the music industry most women are just after a one-night stand and to make money by selling their sordid little stories. I saw that you weren’t like that, I saw the way you and Sam were together at the album launch, and he was quite smitten.” He smiles.
“When you smile you remind me so much of Sam, the eyes, the dimples.”
“You really love him, don’t you?”
My eyes glaze over, and I nod. “God, I love him so much it physically hurts. He consumes me, every single part of me. It broke my heart seeing him in such distress tonight.”
Marlowe pauses for a second before he speaks. “He’s been off his medication since he met you; against my better judgement, might I add. I thought he could handle it. He seemed to be doing so well, but then you had the car accident, and I could see him spiralling out of control. I saw the signs, but I did nothing. John managed to convince me he’d snap out of it once he saw you were recovering.”
Fucking J.D. God, now I really hate him, I never thought it was possible to hate a person this much.
“The night of the accident, Sam disappeared from the hospital, and Cole tracked the GPS on his phone. He and Jax found him passed out in the bathroom in his apartment. That boy has the biggest self-destruct button I have ever seen. While Ruby was trying to get in touch with your parents and Sam was having his meltdown, I came to the hospital to sit with you. I stayed for two whole days. I wanted you moved to a private hospital, but we didn’t know if you were going to make it. I saw then how much you meant to Sam. I have never seen him like this with anyone, he was devastated. He never brings girls back to meet us; we knew you must be special.”
I smile at Marlowe’s words, also shocked at the revelations he is revealing to me. He was with me for two days at the hospital?
“I don’t know what to say. Thank you for staying with me at the hospital.”
“You don’t have to thank me, my love.”
With those words, my mobile signals a text message. I swipe my finger across the screen and open the message, it’s from Cole.
He is awake, and he is asking for you
I’ll leave the door unlocked
Cole
I look at Marlowe. “That was Cole. Sam’s awake, and he’s asking for me.”
Marlowe nods. “Go and be with my son.” He smiles brightly, strides across the room and envelopes me in a hug. “Welcome to the family, my love.”
He kisses the top of my head tenderly, and I feel so much pride at that moment I squeeze him tighter. I feel elated that I have been accepted into the bosom of Sam’s family and it means everything to me.
“Thank you, Marlowe, for everything.”
Marlowe pulls away from our embrace.
“I’ll even let you call me Dad if you want!” We both laugh. “Now that’s enough of that soppy bollocks. Go and be with Sam, he needs you.”
He winks, and I leave the room. I practically run down the corridor and push the door open. Sam is sitting crossed-legged in the middle of the king-size bed. As I step into the room, his eyes lock with mine. He releases his lip from his teeth, and I see his tense shoulders visibly relax. He climbs off the bed and moves fluidly across the room, his eyes never leaving mine. In a few strides, he is in front of me and towering over me.
“Angel,” he rasps and tucks a strand of my hair that has come loose from my ponytail behind my ear. He moves his hand down and strokes my face, I lean into his touch. I stroke his lightly-stubbled cheek and Cole carefully observes the exchange between us.
“I’ll leave you two to it; I’m on my mobile if you need anything.”
Sam and I are silent for a few minutes, just standing there silently observing each other not knowing how to react. A feeling, which is completely alien to me, especially in Sam’s presence. He cautiously steps closer until his chest is pressed against me and I can feel his warm breath tickling my cheek. I am not used to cautious and careful where Sam is concerned. I am not sure whether it’s a good sign or a bad sign.
“I’m so fucking sorry, angel, please forgive me,” he whispers. Those are the only words he says before he wraps his strong arms around me and I melt into his arms, clinging desperately to him. It is as if we need each other to s
tay rooted to the floor. He runs his hands up and down my spine; I relish the feeling of closeness and safety being in his arms.
“Lie with me for a while?”
His voice is unsure, and I let him lead me to the bed. He lies down, and I lie next to him in complete silence. He pulls me closer to him, and I have never encountered this side of Sam before. The careful, cautious, unsure, and vulnerable side. He is so gentle, and his eyes search my approval at every turn. He wraps his arm around me, and I rest my head on his chest, listening to the sound of his thundering heartbeat under my cheek. In that moment, I know everything is going to be OK. I feel completely and utterly content being with Sam despite his faults. I vow to spend the rest of my life with him because he is everything to me.
9
Peyton
A month passes, and I have travelled the length and breadth of the country with Rancid Vengeance. From Glasgow to Manchester, Birmingham, Cardiff, Liverpool, Nottingham, Sheffield and back to London tonight for the band’s farewell gig. It is my last night on the tour bus, and I am due to return home tomorrow while Sam and the boys go on the European leg of their tour for two months. It has definitely been an experience, and I have gotten an insight into life on the road with a high-profile, world famous, successful rock band. I have met some interesting people from, Lex the tour bus driver, to the roadies, and even some of the band's diehard fans. I have witnessed the ups, downs, and everything in-between.
The night of Sam’s meltdown was one of the worse nights of my life, but it feels like it has bought us closer together as a couple. That was the only good thing to come out of that night. He is back on a low dose of Seroxat to control his moods, and he is back to his usual charming self. My Sam.
Today is the twenty-fourth of August, and it is my twenty-seventh birthday. I wake up to Sam’s gorgeous smiling face.
“Good morning, my beautiful birthday girl.”
I smile sleepily and sit up. Sam hands me a mug of steaming coffee.
“Thank you, baby.”
He smiles that dazzling smile I love so much and climbs onto the bed.
“I’ve got a surprise for you, angel.”
I look at him and raise my eyebrows. “Does it involve you naked?”
He cocks his pierced eyebrow and laughs. “That can always be arranged, angel,” he says huskily and kisses me gently on the lips. “Get dressed, gorgeous, and I’ll show you. You’re going to love it, I promise.”
He gets off the bed and winks, leaving that phrase hanging in the air as he exits the room. I shower in record time, dry my hair, and get dressed. I pull on my Converse trainers and head down to the lower deck of the bus.
“Happy birthday, Peyton!” all the boys say in unison, and I grin widely.
“Aww, thanks, boys, you didn’t have to!”
There is an array of presents on the table along with a chocolate birthday cake topped with candles. Sam moves to my side and puts his arm around me.
“You deserve it for putting up with us, beautiful.”
“Blow out your candles, Peyton!” Jax says enthusiastically.
Bless his heart. We’ve actually become really close during the tour, and he is definitely going to be a lifelong friend. I tuck my hair behind my ears and lean down to blow my candles out, to a personal rock rendition of ‘happy birthday to you’ from the boys, with Brody on acoustic guitar.
“You have to make a wish, honey.” Lucas smiles; I close my eyes and make a wish.
I wish for a long and happy future with Sam.
The boys whoop and clap their hands. Sam pulls out a familiar scrap of black material from his pocket, and I bite my lip at the memory of being tied up, blindfolded, and completely at Sam’s mercy. I feel liquid heat between my legs and Sam cocks his head, leaning close to me, he whispers so only I can hear him.
“Remember this, angel?”
I look at him, and his eyes are hooded with lust. I nod, and he winks, pulling the blindfold over my eyes.
“Oi, oi! You could at least wait until we’re off the bus before you start getting kinky, dude!” Brody shouts, and the boys laugh. Sam leads me down the bus steps and out into the morning sun. He holds my hand.
“Keep walking forward, I won’t let you fall. I’ve got you.”
I do as he says, and we stop suddenly. He pulls off the blindfold.
“Surprise!”
He shakes a set of car keys in front of me and there in the car park at Wembley Arena is a brand new Chevy Camaro ZL1 Convertible in an identical purple colour to my old car and a white racing stripe on the centre of the bonnet. It is beautiful; I jump up and down excitedly.
“Do you like it, angel?”
I throw my arms around Sam. He picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist, clinging to him like a monkey.
“I love it! Thank you so much, baby.”
I press kisses all over his face, and we both laugh.
“You’re very welcome, angel, I’m glad you like it. I wanted to surprise you. You loved your old car, and nothing can replace that, but I wanted to treat you to something special. You deserve it, for being you, and for putting up with my shit.”
He kisses me passionately on the lips and sets me on my feet.
“Do you want to take her for a spin? She is fast, five hundred and eighty brake horsepower, a V-8 engine and she goes from zero to sixty miles an hour in three point nine seconds.”
I raise my eyebrows; I am impressed. I nod enthusiastically, and Sam laughs.
“Come on then, angel.”
He clicks the key fob and opens the driver’s door for me. I get into the driver’s seat; the seats are bucket seats, which hug you as you drive. They are a gunmetal grey colour, and the leather is so soft and comfortable. Sam gets into the passenger seat, and we both buckle up for my first test drive in my brand new car.
Happy birthday to me!
The day passes by in a haze of presents, birthday surprises and calls from my family and my friends. They all wish me a happy birthday and say they are eagerly awaiting my return home.
“Hey, sis, happy birthday,” Dexter’s familiar voice fills my ears.
“Hey, little brother. Thanks. I’m officially old!”
He snorts. “Twenty-seven isn’t old! I’ll be there soon enough! How are you?”
I smile. “I’m great, thanks, Dex, I’m actually enjoying being on the road with the boys.”
“Who would have thought it? Have we lost you to the lifestyles of the rich and famous?”
I roll my eyes to myself. “Hardly! How are things with you and Grace? How was Paris?”
Dexter took his fiancée Grace to Paris for the weekend, and he was going to propose. I haven’t had a chance to catch up with him about it.
“Paris was amazing, sis. I asked her to marry me at the top of the Eiffel Tower, and she said yes!”
I shriek, and I start to think to myself that Ruby’s dramatics have rubbed off on me!
“Oh, my god, Dex! That’s fantastic! I’m so happy for you. Congratulations!”
“Thanks, Grace wants you as a bridesmaid, so she is going to be in touch in the next few weeks. She is turning into a bridezilla with wedding planning! I’m up to my fucking neck in seating plans and bloody colour schemes.” I chuckle, and he says, “Fuck me, her and Mum are a force to be reckoned with. I’ve actually never done so much overtime at work!”
“You should come and visit us soon; it’s been too long, Dex. Sam’s going on the European leg of the tour tomorrow he’s going to be gone for two months.”
He pauses and asks, “How are things with you and Sam?”
“Things are great. Actually, more than great.”
“There are stories all over the internet and the papers about him having some sort of breakdown while he was on tour?”
I tut. Typical Dexter, I would bet money that my mum has put him up to this.
“He has severe manic depression, Dex. He was off his medication, but he is totally fine now.”
&
nbsp; He pauses, and I know he is probably frowning.
“Did he hurt you? If he’s laid a finger on you, I swear. I already gave him the ‘you hurt my sister and I’ll kill you’ speech.”
I smile to myself. “He hasn’t laid a finger on me, Dex. I love him so much. He is everything, and I can’t imagine my life without him in it. I can finally see a future with him.”