He tells me about his friend Lyre, who’s also a dragon demigod. He tells me how Lyre lost his power to a harpy. He tells me about his girlfriend, Morgan, and how they ended up at Lyre’s house with Bolt as bait. “They aren’t strong, like many of the other non-humans. They initially use their beauty and their charm, and then they use…they use their poison.” His eyes have this haunted look.
It hurts me to see him like this. I push some more. I have to know it all. Everything. “Poison…like a toad? How did she administer this poison?”
His mouth twitches, and then his eyes flare with sorrow. “No, she had this…thorn on the tip of her finger.”
“Venom, not poison,” I practically whisper. “Herpetology basics…” I mutter. “I like snakes, I think they’re misunderstood.” His eyes soften. I swear I can see the love in them. A whole lot of love and it’s directed at me. Pity it’s a lie! “Go on.” My voice is hard and flat.
Bolt nods once. “She took my hand. I had to let her do it. She had a gun to Morgan’s head. Then she injected me with the thorn and started pumping this shit into me. It usually wears off pretty quickly. A couple of hours, several days. That didn’t happen with me.”
“What does the venom do?”
“It fucks with your head. It made me think…” He looks up and stretches his neck. I can see he’s not comfortable telling me all this. “It made me think that she was the most beautiful woman on earth. Like I couldn’t live without her. I was instantly obsessed, to the point where I would have killed for her. I would have killed anyone, even my own mother. Done anything she asked of me, just for her affection. It was all a lie, Ash. It wasn’t real. It was the poison…venom talking.”
I still, foolishly, hold onto some hope. “You said the effects of the venom aren’t supposed to linger, but they did with you?” I hate where this is going. I want to cover my ears. I want to tell him to stop there. I want to throw myself into his arms and forget all about it. I can’t!
He nods. “Yeah, they did. I was in a bad place for weeks after she was killed.”
“She died?”
Bolt nods again. He tells me how Morgan shot her. “It was the most frustrating time of my life. I knew it was the venom, but I couldn’t help how I felt inside. I slowly improved. Day by day, it got easier.”
“But your feelings never quite went back to normal?”
He shakes his head. “I knew that logically,” he touches the side of his head, “it was all in here. Not in here.” He touches his chest.
“But it felt real?”
He nods.
“I look like her, don’t I?” My voice breaks just a little.
“No, Ash…no… It wasn’t like that.” He tries to take my hands, but I pull away.
“Why did you hire me?” I ask. “It’s a question I’ve asked myself so many times. I couldn’t believe it when you showed up at the bakery. You were so good to me and so lenient. It seemed too good to be true. That’s because it was. I wasn’t a PA. I had no training to speak of, and yet you not only hired me, but you increased your offer to get me on board. You hired me because I looked like her.”
He doesn’t say anything.
“Admit it, Bolt!” My voice is hard.
“Yes, okay…yes! I hired you because you looked like the harpy. I was much better, but still not…over her yet. I hoped you could help me find closure.”
“By sleeping with me and then leaving me? By having everything neatly outlined in an NDA?” I’m shouting, but I can’t help it.
“I wasn’t going to sleep with you, but that changed. I started to get to know you, and I wanted you.”
I roll my eyes and snort. “Right!”
“I hadn’t planned on sleeping with you. I swear! It all started because of her, but I got to know you…Ash. I started falling for—”
“Don’t say it! Just don’t!” I point at him. “Every look. Every touch. Every word… They were all for her. Never for me.”
“That’s not true,” he growls, looking sincere.
“You hired me because I looked like someone you were in love with. Someone who died suddenly. You were left with a hole in your soul. I just happened to fit the shape and size of that hole perfectly. Like a cookie-cutter of me made it.”
“I was not in love with the harpy. It was the poison…the fucking venom…whatever. All I know is what I feel for you is real, Ash. It’s been months since her death. It’s been forever.” His voice is deep; it softens as he talks of his feelings for me. My heart is clenching. I want to believe him so badly.
“Can you really look me in the eyes and tell me that it’s me you see? That’s it’s me and only me you have these feelings for? That you want me…Ashley Shaw?” My voice is faltering, but I force myself to go on. “The truth is important to me, Bolt. It’s everything to me. I’ve always been honest with you, at times to my detriment. I need you to respect me enough to do the same. Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that you’re falling for me, and that she has nothing to do with it?”
I feel myself bleeding inside. My heart is splintering. His eyes are on mine. They stay on mine. Each second that ticks by, I hemorrhage more until I am dry inside. Until my heart can no longer beat. It has nothing left. “I didn’t think so,” I whisper.
“Please don’t end it. Don’t do this to us,” he whispers. His eyes are hazy; they shine with what looks like unshed tears. He blinks and runs a hand over his face. “Don’t give up on us, Ash.” His voice is choked.
“There is no us, Bolt. There never was.” Dammit! I’m crying like a baby. Hot tears are rolling down my cheeks, and I can’t seem to stop them.
“There is an us. We’re good together.”
“No! It’s a lie. We’re a lie. I know you think you have feelings for me. That you’re in love with me. I know you think you’re attracted to me, but you’re not. It’s all her. One day…maybe even one day soon, the venom will leave your system, and you’ll realize it. I’m going to hurt. I’m going to feel like my world has collapsed for a while, but I’ll pick myself up. I can come back from this.” I’m not sure it’s true, but I say it anyway. “But next week, next month, next year… What if we’re married with kids, and you look at me one day and realize the lie you’ve been living? I can’t do that to either one of us.”
“Ash…that won’t happen.” His voice is gruff.
“You can’t say for sure.” I sniff and wipe my face. I wish I would stop crying already.
Again, he just looks at me with his beautiful gray eyes. Eyes that draw me in. Eyes that even now are telling me I am wanted, needed, they’re telling me I’m loved, but I can’t believe them anymore. I can’t believe him.
“Most of all, if I stay, I will always ask myself if it’s really me you see, or if it’s her. I won’t live in someone else’s shadow. I can’t!”
“Please, don’t do this.” He sounds desperate.
I still want to cave in so badly. I can’t! I won’t! I walk to the door and open it. “I need you to leave.”
“Ash…” he begs, “please don’t!”
“Go!” I tell him. “Please just go.”
Thankfully he does as I ask, and he leaves. I crumple to the ground. I am broken.
32
Five days later…
Bolt
I knock again, harder this time.
“Quiet!” Night whisper-shouts when he opens the door. “Harley is sleeping.”
“Shit! Sorry! How much do babies sleep?”
“A lot…but somehow not enough.” He looks confused for a moment. “Come in. You look like a drowned rat.” He laughs – quietly.
I grumble, closing my umbrella, which I leave in the hallway. I softly stomp my shoes on the mat.
“You need to stop this,” Night says.
“Stop what?” I frown.
“That.” He points outside at the enormous clouds and the streaking lightning. “There are flood warnings being issued in parts of town.”
“I don’t have
too much control.” I pull in a breath. “I do have a plan on how to get Ashley back. The sun will come out again – and today, if I can help it.”
“Oh?” His brows go up. “Let’s go sit.” He leads me to the living room. “Beer?” he offers.
I shake my head. “I need to keep my mind clear.”
“Um…we metabolize alcohol too quickly for it to affect us.”
“Still…” I don’t want to drink or eat or sleep until I have my girl back in my arms.
“Tell me about this idea of yours.” Night sits, and I follow suit.
“I’ve been wracking my brain on how to convince Ashley that I love her. That my feelings have nothing to do with the harpy.”
Night is looking at me intently. “But you haven’t been able to, because you aren’t sure.”
I look down at my lap. It’s true. I’m ashamed to say that I’m not sure. I wanted to lie. I wanted to at least stretch the truth. I couldn’t do that to her. “I’m ninety-nine percent sure. Ninety-fucking-nine, Night. Why should our relationship end over one little percent? Don’t answer that, because it doesn’t matter. If Ash needs one hundred percent, I’m going to give it to her. It came to me last night…technically in the early hours of the morning. Your brother is my answer.”
He frowns. “My brother? As in Death? How is Death going to help you?” Night asks, he scratches his head.
“I want him to take me to the Underworld to see the harpy. He said she was there.”
He snorts. “You can’t go into the Underworld. You won’t make it back out.”
“I will. Our fathers are brothers. We’re related. I’m powerful. My father is fucking Zeus.”
“Still…” Night rubs his chin. “You might not make it out. You’re a demigod. It’s a huge risk.” He shakes his head, his eyes clouded in thought.
“One I’m willing to take. I called Death, and he won’t hear of it. Now he’s ignoring my messages.”
“He’s right. This is potentially a death wish.”
“It’s my choice. I need to see her. I need to know for sure.”
“Know what?” He looks at me like I’ve gone mad.
“How I feel when I look at her. I need to know if I’m still in love with her. If I’m confusing my feelings, because dammit, Night, I don’t think I am,” I growl. There is a tiny fissure of fear inside me, but I have to do this. I love Ash! I know I do! “I have to prove it, and I’ll die if I have to, to do it.”
“You’re crazy!”
“I’m crazy in love. With Ash! Fuck!”
“Shhhhh.” He puts a finger to his lips, and his eyes have gone wide.
“Sorry,” I mutter, “The way I see it, there are only two options. Save the city from certain flooding or let me go to the Underworld. I’ll find a way back. Mortals have managed it, if some of the stories are to be believed.”
“You are a mortal, asshole!” Night growls. “A hard-to-kill mortal, a mortal with a long lifespan, but still a mortal.”
“I’m doing this, with or without your help. I’ll find some other way.”
“Not a fuck!” Night shakes his head. “It’s too dangerous.”
“Help me!”
“Fine,” he pushes out. Then he disappears, leaving the scent of ozone in his wake.
After five minutes, I get up and start pacing. A few minutes after that, they both return. “I don’t like it,” Death says.
I’m shocked all over again at how alike the two of them are. One is as dark as the other is light. They both have the same solemn expression.
“I need to do this. I’m in love with Ashley,” I say it like it is.
“Go and tell her that,” Death says, deadpan.
“I can’t. I need to prove it.”
“What is it with you guys and women?” He puts up his hand. “Remind me never to fall in love. It turns your brains into Swiss cheese.”
“It wouldn’t just be for Ashley. I’m doing this for myself as well.” I need to know, one way or the other. “I have to do this. I’m determined.”
“Try to get in and out quickly,” Night says to Death, who makes a grunting noise. “It might be better if you try not to let Hades find out about this.”
Death doesn’t say anything right away. Then he turns to me. “I can’t guarantee you’ll make it out. You could be stuck there, and it isn’t a fun place to be stuck in for eternity. Oh, and eternity is a damn long time.”
“I’ll make it out.” I’m determined.
“Let’s go, then.” He grabs my arm. Immediately, I’m sucked in, and it’s like a wild roller-coaster with flashing lights and swirling colors. My stomach rolls. It clenches and churns. When we’re spat out on the other side – because that’s how it feels – I’m reeling. I fall into a heap on the ground. My head is spinning. My stomach is churning. It feels like I’m moving, even though everything is still now. Like my limbs are made from lead.
It takes a minute or two before I start to come to my senses. I realize that Death is waiting for me. He’s tapping his foot. “Night was right. We need to try to get in and out without my father seeing you. Also, the longer we’re here, the harder it’s going to be to get you back out. Then lastly, I’m going to be called soon to collect a soul. I can feel it.”
“Wow! This is nice,” I say. There’s a sprawling mansion in front of us, and rolling green fields as far as the eye can see. A herd of horses is grazing in front of a shimmering lake. “I thought the Underworld was a disgusting place.”
“It is,” Death says. “This is where Hades lives. Let’s walk and talk,” he says, going down the long driveway. There are several sports cars outside the entrance, where large double doors are standing open.
“Um…why are we going towards Hades’s house?”
“Your harpy is my dad’s new wife. He doesn’t let her out of his sight for very long.” We stop walking long before we get to the house.
“What?” I choke out.
“Stay here,” he whispers, shoving me behind a rocky outcrop. “I’m going to see if Daddy Dearest is home. Hopefully, he’s busy and won’t know we’re here. Don’t move!”
I nod once. I watch as he stalks off. Then he disappears. I don’t have to wait very long. A minute or two. He sighs. “My dad is home, and he’s with her. We need to wait. He’s begging her for sex. I’m hoping she gives in.” He looks at his watch. “It’s that time of day. Hades might take a nice long nap afterward, and we can slip in and out.”
“Really?” I’m frowning. “We have to wait for them to get busy?”
“That’s if she lets him,” Death looks disgusted, “do the deed.”
“I thought they were newlyweds?”
“Yeah, Hades has a healthy appetite.” That disgusted look is back.
“I don’t need to hear any more.” I might be sporting the same look.
We stand around for about forty-five minutes. Death disappears every now and then to check. He shakes his head when he returns. A little while later, he gets this pained look. His whole body seems to tighten. “Duty calls,” he says. “Don’t move, I’ll be back in a few.”
I give a tense nod. I take a seat. My legs are getting tired from all this standing around. I’m not very patient. This is taking longer than expected. I’m glad I took a load off because it takes a while for Death to return. I don’t know how long exactly, because my watch doesn’t work down here.
“Sorry.” He doesn’t look like he is. “It ended up being three souls.” He might be helping me, but he still has to do his ‘Death duties’. “I checked in on them,” he points at the house, “before coming back here, and it’s a no-go. He’s still begging.” Death chuckles. “It’s so pitiful.” He looks like he’s loving his father’s struggles.
I hear movement and laughter coming from the house. Four women walk out. They’re all supermodel beautiful. They’re wearing little shirts and little dresses. They hop into one of the sports cars and drive away. Death and I move to stay out of sight.
“Who are they?” I ask as the car speeds by.
“My stepmothers.”
“Wait a minute. Your stepmothers – however many of them there are – all live in that house?” I point. I can feel I’m frowning. This makes no sense.
Death nods. “There are ten of them. Eleven with the harpy. My mother is his first wife, so twelve in total.”
I frown. “And your father can’t get laid?” I sound shocked.
Death laughs softly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him laugh. “Poor fuck! Hades only wants the harpy. He hasn’t so much as touched one of the others since she got here.”
I nod as I think it through. “I guess that makes sense.”
“It’s driving him nuts.” Death laughs some more. I join in, even though I feel bad for the guy. Hades must have feelings too.
Then I stand.
“What are you doing?” Death asks.
“I’m going in.”
He shakes his head. “We should wait.”
“You really think I’m going to be able to talk to the harpy without him knowing? Your father is obsessed with her. Completely besotted. There’s no way I’m getting anywhere near her without him being present.”
He thinks about it for a moment and then nods, albeit grudgingly. “You’re sure about this? It’s risky. Hades is a fucking asshole. We could leave now, no harm done.”
I nod. “I’m sure. I have to do this.”
We walk down the driveway together, heading straight for the front door.
“Death,” someone says from inside the house before we even get there.
Death whispers a cuss word under his breath.
I knew it. He’s watching her, watching the house. He’s twitchy as fuck.
“Who have you brought for me?” the voice says. Then a man steps outside. He looks a lot like Night and Death. Although young-looking, with a toned physique, there’s something ancient about him. Maybe it’s his eyes, or just the air about him, but he definitely isn’t as young as he seems.
“No one for you, Dad,” Death says. “This is my friend, Bolt.”
Lord of Rain (The Dragon Demigods Book 5) Page 26