by Milo Abrams
honey,” he said trying to talk to her. He pushed away a few rogue strands of brown hair that hung down wildly above her eyes. The tears were streaming down her cheeks as he looked her over to make sure she wasn't bleeding. The way she was grabbing the bed threw him into a panic. But the tears weren't pouring out of her from pain—they were from fear.
She let out another horrendous scream, causing Will to take one of his hands and set it upon one of her wrists, and then used the other to softly rub the top of her head.
“Shh,” it’s okay,” he said softly. “Ruby, I'm here. It’s okay.”
Nothing worked.
Is she in pain? The panic on his face was haunting in the glow of the night light. He felt completely helpless as he watched her on the bed.
“No!” she suddenly screamed. Will stepped back and watched as her entire body stiffened a little, her back arching slightly, and then she stopped.
Her hands slowly began to soften. As her fingers released the sheet, it remained bunched up and mangled. She instantly began to sweat all over, her arms glistening in the glow of the night light. Will just stood back and watched, not wanting to move or speak. He just watched as she softened into a relaxed position on her back and grew quiet. Her breathing slowed, and just as quickly as she had been thrown into the storm, she was as calm as Sleeping Beauty. Her eyelids began to flutter, and he watched as they rolled around behind their lids. Now that she was calm, he recognized that she was not just having a nightmare, but the nightmare.
“Ruby,” he said standing by the bed.
She didn't move.
He turned on the bedroom light and her eyes squeezed shut.
“It's okay,” he said crouching down at her side. “I'm here. I'm here now.”
She slowly opened her eyes and allowed the world to come back into focus. She lifted her arms then opened and closed her hands. She looked at them and then sat up and looked at Will.
“My hands hurt,” she croaked out.
He put his arm around her and sat down on the bed. “You were grabbing the sheet pretty hard.”
As soon as she saw him, she threw her arms around him and began sobbing into his chest. “Oh Will,” she cried, “I’ve never been so glad to see you.”
He held her there and let her cry, knowing she wouldn’t be able to think clearly until the emotion had emptied itself out. As soon as it did she pulled back, and he sighed.
“Was it the dream again?” he asked.
She nodded.
He didn’t know what to say. For twenty years she had been having the same recurring nightmare. No matter what they did it never seemed to go away, and at times, it happened more frequently than others. He ran his fingers through her hair and forced a smile.
“It’s okay,” he said, “we’ve been here before. We just need to figure out what triggered it this time.”
He knew. Of course, he knew. Ruby’s anxiety was an unwelcome guest that had been living off their emotional dinner scraps for years. He knew that anytime anything new happened she would be sent into an anxiety-ridden tailspin, as if the sky were falling. Yet on that day, it seemed it had.
“I need to see Dr. Benson,” she said.
“Listen, about what we saw tonight, I’m sure it was nothing.”
Ruby stood up from the bed, ignoring him. “I need to call her right now, Will. I need to talk to her as soon as possible.”
Will stood with her, unsure of what to do. “Okay, let’s just calm down for a second. You’re always a little worked up after the dream.”
Lightning flashed through the bedroom window, causing Ruby to nearly jump out of her skin. Will could see the wild panic rolling about in her eyes.
“Where’s the phone? I need to call her,” her voice ran at a million miles an hour. “Before something happens. Maybe she’ll see me right now.”
“Ruby,” Will said, softly placing his hands on her shoulders, “it’s three o’clock in the morning. We can call Dr. Benson in the morning if you want.”
She stared at him, her eyes sad and desperate.
He sighed. “Let me get you a drink. I’ll be right back, okay? Just sit down, I won’t be long.”
Ruby did as instructed, and watched Will like a terrified animal as he opened the bedroom door and stepped into the hallway. He closed the door slowly and then ran for the stairs. Despite the floors all being carpeted, the old house creaked no matter where he stepped. Down the stairs and around into the kitchen, he ripped the refrigerator door open and poured her a glass of milk in record time. Just as he was about to go back upstairs, something caught his eye. There was a small card stuck to the door under a large colorful magnet with the slogan “Be Safe, Not Sorry” printed across it. He chuckled at it. It was nothing he would have ever kept, even if it did have good advice on it. Ruby would always keep the bits of junk mail she thought were useful or pretty. Underneath, the little card was a generic printed reminder of Ruby’s next appointment to see her psychiatrist. Next to the date was a phone number.
Will cared deeply for his wife, so much so, that he would bother to call her psychiatrist in the middle of the night. His foot tapped the floor nervously as he waited for someone to pick up.
“H…hello?” a voice stammered on the other end.
“Dr. Benson,” Will said, “I’m sorry to wake you.”
There was a pause as the doctor was checking the time. “Who is this?”
“This is Will McAllister. My wife Ruby is one of your patients.”
“Oh yes, Ruby. What’s wrong? Did something happen to her?”
He hesitated for a moment. “Well, she’s a mess right now. I promise that I wouldn’t be calling you like this if I really wasn’t concerned. You’ve been seeing her for such a long time and she really trusts you. It’s just, she really wants to talk to you. I tried to talk her out of it but she’s frayed at the edges right now.”
There was a pause on the other end, and Will was convinced that he had upset the doctor. Expecting her to reassure him that she would be okay and that she would just see her at her next appointment, leaving Will to pick up the pieces, she suddenly spoke.
“Tomorrow,” she said, “bring her in at noon. I’ll squeeze her in during my lunch.”
Will smiled, “Thank you doctor. It really means a lot to both of us. I really appreciate it.”
“Get some sleep Mr. McAllister,” she said and then hung up.
He set the phone down, hoping he hadn’t messed up somehow. Then he heard Ruby scream again upstairs.
“Ruby?” he yelled as he ran for the stairs, spilling milk all over as he went.
By the time he made it up to the bedroom door everything was silent. He slowly opened the door and didn’t see Ruby anywhere. His eyes darted to the window, but it was still shut and locked. The blankets on the bed moved slightly, showing signs of life. He set the milk down and returned to her side, peeling back the blanket to find her disoriented underneath.
“Are you okay?” he said caressing her face, “I heard you scream.”
She looked down, her face still red from sleeping. “I’m sorry. I dozed again while you were downstairs.”
He handed her the milk and smiled. “I have a surprise for you.”
She gulped the drink, looking at him with one raised eyebrow. “Oh?”
“I called Dr. Benson for you. You have an appointment with her tomorrow at noon.” He could feel the pride beaming from his smile as he told her. He loved to do things to make his wife happy, and surely this would be one of them. But instead of a parade of thanks or a warm embrace, she just looked at him confused. Her eyes then darted to the clock on the end table next to the bed.
“Why did you do that?” she asked. “It’s after three in the morning.”
Will froze. He didn’t understand. “B...but, you told me you needed to talk to her. You frantically paced around the room, looking like you were going to run out any second into the street.”
The way her eyes focused on his said volumes. “I don’t r
emember saying that,” she said.
He examined her expression closely. Was she lying to him? She wouldn’t do that.
“Don’t you remember the nightmare? Don’t you remember me waking you up, and then going downstairs to get you a drink? You were petrified.”
She pursed her lips and then looked at the floor. “Actually, no. I was confused as to why you had gotten me the milk, but I never really thought about why.”
Will was shocked. She had never had problems remembering things, especially after having the nightmare. If anything, it would stick with her for days, leaving her in an impenetrable mist of depression.
“Well,” he cleared his throat, “Dr. Benson is expecting you at noon tomorrow. She said she would see you on her lunch break. If I had known that you didn’t want to…”
“No, no. It’s okay.” She rubbed her eyes and then opened and closed her hands. “I’m always glad to talk to her.” She looked up at her husband and asked one more thing. “Why do my hands hurt?”
Day Two
3
Dr. Benson’s office was located on the second floor of an old medical building in the middle of a shopping center. The door to get in was hidden on the corner near an intersection in the middle of Bugby, the bustling city north of the McAllister’s home of Monroe, right along the shores of Lake Erie. The interior of the building hadn’t been painted since the late seventies, and every time they walked inside it gave Will the creeps.
“I'm sure I won't be long,” Ruby said smiling.
Will just watched her as she walked to the window to let them know she was there.