by Tracy Lauren
“I still can’t believe I have a little brother,” I tell her. “I mean…you’re so old.”
“Very funny. Forty-three is a little on the older side to start over again, but hey, if there’s still time then there’s still time.”
I shoot my attention over to my mom. “You know I’m teasing, right?”
“You better be,” she tells me with a smile. “Now…I am paying close attention to how good you are with your brother. Is there anything you might want to tell me? Should I be saving any hand-me-downs this chubby little man grows out of?”
“Oh no! Nothing like that. No time soon anyway.”
“Is there any chance you’re going to stick around for longer than the last visit? Your dad and I miss you, Madison.”
“Mom…” I groan.
“I’m not trying to be overprotective!” she swears. I roll my eyes. “You’re just… “she sighs. “You’re just my first baby, Madison. You’ll always be. Even when you have your own little one in your arms. Nothing will ever change that.”
“I know, Mom. I just need this right now. Kethian and I enjoy our travels. It’s like one big extended honeymoon.” In my mind I compare our adventures to all my years of tutoring. I learned a lot from the formal education I got at the castle. But sometimes I think I’m learning even more from actually being out on alien worlds, finally engaging in life. “Besides, it’s not forever. One day we’ll settle down and start a family.”
Mom looks a little forlorn at my answer, but I know that in her heart she accepts my choices. The reality is, she’ll always struggle with being separated from me. I get that now. A part of her will never be able to fully shake away the fear she felt in those weeks when we were separated so long ago. I don’t take it personally anymore.
“I don’t want you to miss out on this little guy’s life. You might be 23 years older, but you’re still his sister.”
“And I’ll never forget that,” I say, running my fingers through the baby’s soft and golden hair. Already, it’s so much like Vazrium’s wild mane. “We’ll be around, Mom,” I promise. “We’ll visit plenty.”
I tuck my little brother back down into his bed. “I still can’t believe this little guy is here. What made you want to have another kid after all these years anyway?”
Mom is silent, but I hear Vazrium’s footsteps as he enters the room. He answers what my mom would have likely avoided. “I had always thought I was a failure at fatherhood.”
“What?” I gasp, turning to face my parents. My mom looks worried, but my dad joins me beside the crib and looks down at the sleeping baby inside.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Not at all. With each passing year I felt I was actually getting worse rather than better.”
My heart feels like a brick in my chest. My anger and bad attitude kept my mom and dad from having more kids. If things had been different, if we would have gotten along sooner, would I have a whole castle full of brothers and sisters? “I’m so sorry…I never meant to hold you guys back—”
“Bah, Madison!” Vazrium cuts me off and puts a heavy arm around my shoulder. “I was failing at fatherhood. It is only now that I am finally getting better at it. Hopefully with this one I won’t be such a slow learner, eh?”
There’s no malice or resentment in Vazrium’s words and even my mom looks utterly content. So I take a deep breath and put it all behind me. These days I don’t linger in the past, not when there is so much love and happiness right here and now.
“Is it my turn to hold my brother-in-law?” Kethian asks from the doorway. When I turn to look at my husband, the spark in his dark eyes is just a little too eager. It makes me wonder how long it’ll be long until my brother has a playmate. And as if he can read my thoughts, the baby coos loudly in delight.